I still imagine your touch. It's beautiful missing something that much. But sometimes love needs a fighting chance, so I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance.

C H A P T E R F I V E

"Well you're turning into a regular little alcoholic, aren't ya?"

The words spoken by Mark Sloan shouldn't have bothered her as much as they did, but Meredith wasn't in the mood to be put in her place. Not tonight. Not now.

"I thought you left."

"I got bored. Playing with yourself isn't as much fun without a playmate." Mark took an empty seat next to Meredith that usually belonged to Cristina, but she had vacated the premises over an hour ago. "A little late for you, huh?"

"I don't work tomorrow," Meredith mumbled to him. She lied to herself and pretended that Mark really cared about what she did with her life. "And I don't see how it's any of your business anyways. Are you just here to give me a hard time?"

Mark scooted closer to her and leaned his elbow against the bar. "No." His voice dipped down lower and his tone turned more serious. "I came to see if you were okay. I talked to Derek."

Meredith twisted her head to face Mark. She could feel her face following her actions as she moved. Boy was she ever drunk.

"You came to see if I was all right?" Meredith asked, her face softening a little. This wasn't the Mark Sloan she knew. "What'd Derek say?" She closed her eyes softly, realizing she was beginning to slur her words.

Mark shrugged casually. "He just told me about what happened. The kiss, the fight, whatever."

"What'd he say about me?"

He sighed, leaning even closer to Meredith. She looked up at him, wondering if he would make a move on her. But his lips remained where they were as Mark began to talk again. "He said you looked hurt. He didn't think you were okay. And he didn't want to talk to you about it himself because he didn't want to upset you more." Mark paused. "He's still in love with you, Meredith."

Meredith could feel tears burning into her eyes and quickly looked away. She was too drunk to deal with this. This wasn't happening.

"Hey," Mark said softly, awakening Meredith from her thoughts. Meredith looked up at him, no longer caring if he saw her cry. "Let's get you home. No tricks, I promise."

She nodded slowly, not really comprehending what was going on, but before she knew it, Mark was slipping his arm around her and leading her out of the bar.

The next morning, Meredith awoke in a mess of tangled bed sheets. She didn't even remember getting home the night before. Did she go home with…Mark?

Meredith looked around for any sign of missing clothes. Nothing.

"Morning, sunshine."

A groan escaped Meredith's mouth as she realized that any noise hurt her head. She looked up and saw Alex standing in her doorway. "Late night last night?"

Meredith groaned again. "Where's Mark?" She finally asked.

A puzzled expression crossed Alex's face. "Sloan? He's here?"

Meredith shrugged. "I don't know. He could be. I remember him being there last night. At the bar. I think."

Alex shrugged. "Well he's not here. Anyways, I just wanted to see if you wanted some lunch."

Lunch? Meredith shot a glance at her clock by her bed and realized that it was after noon by then. She wondered how much longer she could live her life drinking and sleeping until noon. It had to get better sometime right? Derek said so himself. Right after he told her that every day he was lonely with out her. Right before Mark told her that Derek was still in love with her. And all of this in the middle of him dating Rose.

"Okay then…I'll just make something for myself…" Alex said once he realized that Meredith was staring off into space yet again.

"Huh? What? Sorry, I'm here. I'll be down in a minute."

Meredith finally dragged herself out of bed and set her feet on the floor. Oh, her head hurt so badly. She threw her robe on, not even bothering to find real clothes. Her sweatpants and grey Dartmouth t-shirt worked just fine. How she got into those clothes in the first place, Meredith had no idea. Last she knew, she was wearing jeans and a different t-shirt at the bar.

She slowly made her way downstairs to find Izzie and Alex sitting at the kitchen table eating quietly. Alex was hovered over the newspaper while Izzie picked at her nails. Meredith looked in the fridge for anything edible. She grabbed at a cold piece of pizza and stuck the tip in her mouth, taking a bite.

"Does no one work today?" Meredith asked curiously with the pizza still lingering in her mouth. She decided to swallow it before talking again. "It's like one in the afternoon."

"We got sent home," Izzie informed her with a shrug. "Overstaffed, I guess. The hospital's like empty. I guess everyone's being careful around this time of year. Bummer."

"Weird," Meredith replied and sat down between her two co-workers and roommates. The table went silent as everyone ate their lunch in peace.

After lunch, Izzie wandered off to run some errands and Alex disappeared to God knew where. Not that Meredith really cared where either of them was. The only thing she cared about was that they were out of the house.

Thanking the Lord that she indeed hadn't gone home with Mark Sloan before, she made her way into the living room and slumped on the couch, trying to remember what did happen. She remembered talking to Sloan for a while at the bar. About Derek, probably. She remembered him telling her that Derek was still in love with her. Said Mark, anyways. Who knew if that was even the truth? He was probably just messing with her anyways.

After that conversation, she didn't remember much. For all she knew, she could have come home with Sloan and he just left before anyone saw him. Or they could have done it in the car or his place. But Meredith was beyond caring since it didn't matter anyways. Mark Sloan was the least of her worries.

She knew what she had to do and it didn't involve Mark Sloan, or even really Derek for that matter. She didn't have to be at work for twenty hours. She debated telling someone she was leaving, maybe Cristina, but she knew she would only be talked out of it if she did. So, Meredith grabbed her car keys and headed out the front door to the airport. She was going to see Derek's ex-wife. She was going to California.