Oh no what have I done this time? Cliff-hanger from hell or what?! Oh well, all will be revealed as to what happens right now, so be ready for it. Oh, and something nasty at the end, too. Plus, a bit of the ol' Dr Cox to cheer up everyone! Turk may even appear if you wish really hard... enjoy! xxxNTxxx
Italics = JD's narration
Bold = JD's Imagination

Chapter 6 – Silence Can Kill

She's not saying anything.

Elliot reached forward and plunged her fist into JD's chest and ripped out his heart, much like in that Simpsons episode he'd watched recently. Only this time, she was laughing and juggling with the pumping organ, prodding and poking at it. Jessica was too, throwing her head back and making 'yee-haw' sounds. JD gasped with the little strength he had left and tried to reach forward for his vital organ, but Elliot moved it from his reach and laughed some more.

"You really think I'd marry a loser like you? You're a dying loser."

A dying loser...

JD managed to snap out of his day-dream when he heard Elliot sigh and felt her hand slip away from his. Although it had been a little over-exaggerated, it did sum up the way she was acting. She hadn't said anything since he had proposed and was now not even touching him. What had he been thinking, asking her a question like that!?

"Sweetie, you're under a lot of stress..." She finally began, but he pressed a finger to her lips.

"I know what you're going to say, but think about it!" He insisted. "You love marriage, you'd love to be married and you love me, right? So this is perfect. What's stopping you?"

"JD, you're just trying to solve everything in your head." Elliot tried her hardest to explain. "Dr Cox said you'd be like this at some point. But there's no need to rush these things because you haven't even been to surgery yet."

"But it's malignant."

"Listen, I'm going to get Dr Cox to explain all of this to you but for now, I have to be going to see my other patients. Please don't take this the wrong way."

The wrong way?! How could I not take this the wrong way? She still hasn't answered me but it's an obvious no. My day dream nightmare was right – she doesn't want to marry me because she'd only end up a widow. This stupid cancer is ruining my life. Now look at her, walking away like nothing's even happened. Makes me want to run down there and serenade her, do anything to bring her back and say yes. I want this.

Jessica's staring is really annoying me. I better look over and tell her to stop it...

"Do you mind?" JD shouted at Jessica, his voice breaking at the end.

"What made you think she'd say yes?" She asked him.

"I thought she loved me."

"Obviously not!"

"You're just saying that because you're jealous." JD narrowed his eyes. "But seriously I'm in love so stop trying to butt into that. If you wanna play the whole 'she left you so come over here' trick then don't try it with me because I'm not listening. You're sad and pathetic."

"No." Jessica croaked, shaking her head. "I'm not. I'm lonely."

"Maybe we shouldn't talk anymore."

"What, and be silent?" Jessica's words slurred.

Her hand was shaking, causing her IV drip to shudder. JD watched as the rest of her body began to pulsate, and about ten nurses surrounded her. According to their shouts, it had happened before and was getting more and more frequent. Seizures were horrific to watch and JD had never gotten used to them. But he had never witnessed a friend go into one before. This was too much. He looked away.

I knew that what I had said hadn't caused the seizure and that it would have happened anyway, but still something in the back of my mind will always blame me for that moment. Because when I looked up again and the nurses had left, her eyes were closed. She was only sleeping but the nurses didn't look happy. I would've asked what was happening but everything was going so fast that the next thing I knew, Perry Cox was hovering over me with a clipboard and my chart, apparently not happy to be there.

"Irrational thinking is the first symptom of someone who is overly ready for surgery." He started, not even saying 'hello' or acting as if he knew who JD was personally. "We can't bring it forward so Blondie asked me to sort you out. Just stop letting your mind wander by keeping busy and be damn sure nawt to take every little thing to heart, it'll only make things worse. See you after."

"Wait a minute, Per." JD frowned, grabbing hold of the older man's lab coat to pull him back before he tried to escape. "That was hollow and cold. Why are you being like that?"

"Because you are one of my patients." Dr Cox replied. "Don't expect special treatment just because I knew who you are this time."

"That hurt greatly." JD nodded. "Thanks for that, really need the boost of confidence."

"It's not my fault you're here." Dr Cox shrugged. "I'd shred a bit of humanity if it was anyone else, but it's not. It's you. You're a pain in the ass and neck."

"I would've thought that you'd be more understanding, more nurturing." JD scratched his forehead. "I guess you're just a jerk after all."

"Yeah," Dr Cox nodded. "It's never been me to act all sentimental."

"I've helped you out in your darkest moments."

"Then by all means call me a jerk."

"Fine,"

He was a jerk! After all the time we'd spent together – after eight years – he still wasn't going to act a slightest bit concerned for my health? Well screw him, I had people who cared. Well... Elliot was giving me the silent treatment (not really but I can't be sure) Jessica was sleeping so she was pretty much not there and now this with Dr Cox? I realised then how lonely I really was. I watched as my mentor simply left me to myself without so much as a goodbye and felt the emotion of everything building up on me.

God, my head was throbbing. And I felt my head shaking but I wasn't worried. I knew that it was just another one of those stupid symptoms of the tumour and all I should do it ignore it and hope it goes away. I really needed a pick me up. That's why I couldn't help the cheesy grin that took over my face as I saw Christopher Duncan Turk heading in my direction. I opened my arms out for a hug, ignoring the tubes connecting me to the machine.

"Chocolate Bear come here!" JD exclaimed with absolute enthusiasm that was too hard for Turk to ignore. He opened his arms too and began to jog down to the bed.

"Vanilla Bear, you really want a hug after what I did to you?" He paused before the embrace to be sure but JD dragged him down.

"Of course, I forgive you!" He sniffed loudly. "Ooh, you smell like friendship."

"You okay, JD?" Turk asked when he pulled away.

"Not really," JD answered honestly. "I feel like... ugh, I don't know, like everyone is getting further and further away from me. Am I isolating them?"

"I don't know, dude, what's happened?"

"I asked Elliot to marry me."

"For shizzle?" Turk almost laughed but stopped himself. "Guessing she said no."

"Actually, she didn't say anything." JD bit his lip.

"Ouch. That's, like, ten times worse."

"You're telling me!" Vanilla Bear let out a small cry. "And then my cancer-buddy JP – I'll explain later who she is – started to ignore me because she was jealous and wants me to herself. I argued with her and then she went into a seizure so we haven't really spoken since."

"Nasty." Turk raised his eyebrows. "That's her over there, right? Yeah, Carla said you were making friends over here."

"Ah... tell Carla I'm sorry for freezing her out before." JD grimaced. "She was getting all mother-hen and annoying."

"That's another one." Turk counted on his fingers. "How many more people have you upset today?"

"Dude, I'm dying, give me a break!"

"Yeah, you're right." Turk looked down. "And, uh... don't mention anything about death, yeah? We don't know for sure."

"I'm going into surgery soon." JD pointed out. "They won't let you do it."

"Duh," Turk frowned. "I wouldn't be able to anyway, what if I made a mistake?"

"I trust you with my life." JD assured him. "But you're right. Anyways, my list of people I've ticked off hasn't finished yet. Apparently, my being ill is upsetting Kim to the point where she took off with Sammy before I had a chance to talk to him properly."

"Well that's just dumb and selfish, ignore that chick." Turk shrugged. "You know I never liked her?"

"Liar," JD chuckled. "Plus Dr Cox won't get sentimental with me."

"Dude, that's not who he is." Turk explained. "Give him time, he'll come round. Maybe you'll even get a hug out of it."

I love Turk – not in that why, just as a friend. He's always been there for me even since we were in college together. I can't imagine my life without him... I wondered right then how he felt about living life without me. If Turk died suddenly, I wouldn't get over it. So I didn't know how hard this was for him to sit here and chat about anything that didn't involve the cancer. He was being so good for me. That's why I love Turk.

Even when he left, I still felt a warm place in my heart and mind where I knew he'd stay throughout the surgery. I hoped he would think about me. Maybe he'd even watch? Nah, I don't think he'd get through that.

Everything that happened next went by like a flash of lightening. Dr Wen came to take me to surgery and I noticed some more people surrounding Jessica's bed. This time there were doctors. I felt pinches in my arms and knew that I'd be unconscious soon. I was glad though, because my head was unbelievably pressured to points where I wanted to tear it off my neck in a bid to feel slightly better.

The last time I'd been to surgery was eight years ago for my appendix. I realised that this was a bit worse but it comforted me that it wasn't completely new. They were just going to search my head instead of my torso. I'd be fine, who's worrying? I'm certainly not worrying. Even if I died on the table, at least I wouldn't die suffering from the cancer! I'd die peacefully and blissfully unaware of it. What if I woke up during the surgery? Yeah, like that'd happen. Stop being such a baby. No, you. You. You! You!

Okay, stop it!

They say you don't remember much from the few minutes before being sedated. All I could see was a darkness zooming towards me, fast and unforgiving. Then the cold black took me over.

I did not resurface.