Hello folks! Update Sunday once again! and how exciting that next week we will have a post-ep oneshot too! If you're interested that is. hehe. The premiere is on Friday folks. FRIDAY. let's all take a moment to rejoice in the fact that the wait is nearly over. Raise your hand if you're as excited as I am for the new season? It sounds like a seriously sensational season if the whispers I hear are correct.

Now, for the story... I feel like we've not covered much distance yet in the story, but I promise that things are about to pick up. The next few chapters really show Lindsay dealing with her emotions and stuff so I hope that you all enjoy the insight. I must admit that this is quite possibly my favourite story I have written. (And I haven't forgotten Danny! I promise. He'll be along soon... or will he ;))

Huge thank you to everyone who is still checking in every week! You are all wonderful and I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Special mentions to those of you who dropped me a review. It's always so lovely to get some feedback. Saderia, Izzi Creo, dannyandlindsayforeva, sprog101, shipperheart and gigglesforcsi.

Tell me where does it hurt, where is the pain? You know if I could, I'd make it go away.

-Where Does it hurt? - The Warren Brothers.

Sniffing her tears away, Lindsay watched the door as she waited for her Mom. Although she loved her Daddy more than anything, she just wanted her Mom. Her Mom always made everything better, and even though she wasn't entirely sure her Mom could fix this, she knew that once she was with her Mommy she wouldn't have to face things alone.

A knocking sounded at Lindsay's hospital door; she felt a rush of emotions flush through her as the door opened. All she had wanted was to be with her family; not the flurry of emergency services personnel that she had been subjected to. She hadn't wanted to be questioned, prodded, poked and then questioned again. She had wanted hugs, tissues and to be promised that things would be okay. So far she hadn't had any of that. No one had hugged her. No one had told her that people weren't angry with her. Everyone had been very… cold with her. Getting the information they needed from her before passing her off to the next 'necessary' person who needed more 'necessary' information. She'd had broken promises from the people she'd spoken to so far, gaining vital information only when she feigned sleep… and that wouldn't last for very long. They would realise sooner or later… she hoped. Because although she needed to know what was going on, she wasn't entirely sure how much more information she could stomach.

As she looked up from where her eyes had trained on the tiled floor, her eyes met her father's glassy eyes, full of emotion. Her brain was telling her to smile, but her features couldn't manage it. Her lips couldn't smile… not considering everything that had happened. It was like she wouldn't let herself smile.

"Oh baby," her father whispered as he closed the door behind him and closed the distance between himself and his daughter. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Lindsay studied the look on her Daddy's face as he visually checked over his little girl. She hadn't really thought about her parents. Well, she had, but not in the sense that they must have been worried sick. She knew that her name would have been on the grounded board for the next month when it got to ten o'clock and she still hadn't showed up at home… but then when Officer Jeffers placed the phone call home, she hadn't really heard what he'd said, or what her parents would have thought about it. Seeing the emotion and worry etched onto her father's face however, brought it crashing down. She had never seen him so… beside himself before. There was a look in his eyes that she couldn't place. It was obvious he had been crying, but he had probably visited the restroom before he'd been granted access to her to 'hide' the tear tracks and red eyes.

Her father was falling to pieces in front of her, and all he could do was simply stare at her, as if he had to see her with his own eyes to believe that she was okay. Although she had known that things were going to be different, she didn't realise they would take effect so soon, and with her own father. It hadn't occurred to her before, but people had lost their daughters, sisters, friends… but her parents? Her parents had nearly lost her. So as much as she needed people to lean on, they needed to cry their tears too.

She took a deep breath as she silenced the rational thoughts within her brain. She didn't want rational. She couldn't deal with rational. As far as she was concerned, irrational was her next stop and she planned on a prolonged visit there.

"Where's Mommy?" Lindsay asked softly, her voice raw with emotion.

"She's in the restroom, Honeybee. She won't be long. She told me to come in anyway." Lindsay watched her father close his eyes and sigh heavily as he found himself. She had given him his silent period… and now she needed him. She could tell he too wanted to look at her in that sad, sympathetic way like everyone else did. When he opened her eyes however, she was surprised to see something different. He looked guilty and sad. But not sad for her, or with her; he just looked sad. "I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you girls. You must have been so scared. We've been so worried; they wouldn't let me come in to see you."

"They had some questions or whatever. I haven't seen anyone. Have you seen- have you- Kelly's Mom and Dad?"

"Kelly's parents had to go to another hospital, honey. They didn't come here."

"Why?" Lindsay's voice whispered, "Why didn't they come here?"

Lindsay watched her father twist his lips together, like was trying to think of a way to explain what he had to say to her in a way that wouldn't upset her. "Lindsay, honey, Kelly didn't come to this hospital because she… she didn't need to. She went somewhere else instead."

"Where did she go? Where did they all go? Where's Jenny? And Brianna? Where's Sarah?"

"They went somewhere called a Morgue, Lindsay."

"But what's that?" she implored.

Mike Monroe sighed heavily as he squeezed the bridge of his noise to release the pressure in his head, "Lindsay, a morgue is a place where they keep people when they've passed away before their funeral."

"Why didn't they come here first though?"

"Because they didn't need to honey, they had already died when the ambulance got there. They had lost a lot of blood and there wasn't anything the ambulance crew could do."

Tears welled in Lindsay's eyes as she pulled her legs towards her and squeezed herself into a ball on her bed. "I waited too long, I waited too long to call the police."

"No, Lindsay," her father whispered as he grabbed a tissue from the bedside table next to her bed and began wiping her tears away. "No, you did everything you could honey. You couldn't have saved them. People who save other people everyday couldn't even save them. Nobody could have saved them. God was calling his angels up to heaven. You can't blame yourself, Lindsay. You can't, okay? I won't let you."

"Everything is different." She whispered. "Everything hurts. It's never going to be the same."

"Where does it hurt, Lindsay? Tell me and I'll make it go away, honey. What can I do to make it better?"

"Bring them back, Daddy." She whispered as tears tumbled down her cheeks. "Bring them back."

"Honey, if I could do that for you, I would have already done it for you. I can't do that baby."

"But that's the only thing that will make me better." She cried. "That's the only thing that will stop this… this… here." She pointed to her chest. "It hurts so much, Daddy. Why me? Why am I still here? Why wasn't I shot like them? Why did I have to go and wash my hands like I did? Why didn't he go and check the restrooms? He would have found me then. I froze Daddy, I didn't even go and help them… I just froze."

"Because you're here for a special reason, Lindsay; God needs his angels here too," Mike said softly. "You're here because we need you here."

"Kelly's parents need her. Bri's parents need her. Jenny's need her. What about Sarah? I'm not the only one, but I'm the only one that didn't die. Why Daddy? We me?"

"I know baby, I know. I don't know why this has happened. I don't know why you were the one in the restroom, but I'm glad you were. I'll thank my lucky stars every night for the rest of my life that you were safe and sound in that restroom. I couldn't imagine my life without you, honey. You're my baby girl and just… I don't even know how the girls' parents must be feeling right now."

"Where's mommy?" Lindsay pressed again. "Shouldn't she be here by now?"

"Lindsay, Mommy's still at home."

"You said she was n the bathroom. Why isn't she here?"

"I did," he said, sadly. "I shouldn't have lied to you but… Mom… she's really upset right now. She didn't want to upset you too."

"But I need her," Lindsay whimpered. "I need my Mom. Call her, Daddy. I want her to come."

"We'll call her in a little while, Lindsay."

"No, now." She sniffled. "I need her now."

"Baby, listen… we will go and call her in a while. She's just really upset about everything. She was really scared when we got the phone call from the police officer that you were in a shooting. It's a phone call no parent ever wants to hear. Then when we found out about the girls, she was really upset. We couldn't understand how you were safe and they weren't; then we thought that we had misunderstood and you weren't safe… it was really scary. We hate the thought that you were so close to something so dangerous and she just needed time to make sure she could make you better first. She didn't think you needed to see her crying when you are the one that should be crying. Not her."

"But you're here and you nearly lost me too." Lindsay pointed out. "You didn't stay at home."

"Lindsay, I know it may not have been the best decision we have made as your parents, but it was a decision we needed to make for the best. Sometimes we don't always get it right. I'm here for now though; can you deal with your dear old Dad for now? Mom just loves you so much it scared her, she didn't think you needed to see it."

"I probably didn't," Lindsay nodded. "But I needed to see her, so it wouldn't have mattered. I'm really tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep."

"Okay baby, I'll stay right here though. I'll call Mommy and see if she can come for when you wake up? How does that sound."

Lindsay nodded absentmindedly as she turned over and closed her eyes on the bed. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she realised that the one person she had been relying on wasn't there when she needed her the most. Her Mom had always been there in the past, no matter what… but when she had needed her the most? She wasn't there.

She evened out her breathing and squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her father stand from his chair. She could feel his presence standing over her. His presence was confirmed when she felt his hand brush her long, dark locks from her face and press a kiss to her temple. His lips lingered there as he whispered a few words against her skin. She had been pretty mean to him and she knew that but all she had wanted was her Mom. But that didn't justify how she'd been. He'd always, always been there for her and she definitely didn't give him enough credit for that.

Her ears perked at the sounds of her father lifting the receiver that sat on the bedside table. He was dialling a number and the phone was so loud that Lindsay could hear the ringing of the line. As it was, pretending to be asleep was beginning to work for her.

"How is she?" Lindsay's heart fluttered at the sound of her mother's voice.

"Blaming herself, I think." Her father replied. "She misses them so much, she keeps asking me why, why her? Why them? She really needed you, honey. I told you that you should have come."

"I couldn't," her mother's voice sounded at the other end of the line. "You saw how much of a state I was when we hung up the phone; she didn't need to see that."

"I understand that honey, but she doesn't. She couldn't understand why you weren't here. All she wanted was you, babe. I know that you're finding it hard, but people are going to sympathetic towards us. Linds is just as much of a victim as the girls are; if not more so. She is still here and dealing with all the guilt and confusion. Fifteen seconds later and she could have been out of the bathroom, or fifteen seconds earlier and he could have come in when she was still at the table. And we would have lost our baby. We have a lot to deal with and we need to do it as a family. We need to be strong for her. She deserves that much; she doesn't ask for a lot, does she?"

"No, she doesn't. I'm just scared. I don't want people to treat her any different."

"Well why are you treating her differently then?"

"I have to deal with it myself before I can help her, Mike."

"Well you better deal with it quick. I told her you'd be here when she wakes up. Don't make me break that promise. You need to get here. Call my Mom, she'll drive you. She's waiting for one of us to call with an update anyway. Call her and get here Dana, I can't see her being asleep for very long."

"Mike, I don't know if I-"

"Dana, I'm not asking you to do this, I'm telling you to do this for your daughter. She needs you. Do the right thing here. Call my Mom. I better see you soon."

Lindsay could feel the tears trickling down her neck as she listened to her father slam the phone back into it's receiver. She absolutely didn't give her Dad enough credit... and as much as she was trying to fight it... things were definitely changing.

And there we have it. The latest chapter. I don't want to give too much away, but just as a note, I don't have a thing against mothers, and I've never envisioned Lindsay's Mom like this before... but I was thinking about it when I was writing the chapter and in 3x05 I think it is, Danny takes over for Lindsay with a mother because she struggles with them. I think the line, off the top of my head, is something like 'I can give bad news to fathers all day but mothers... I can't do mothers" again, that's just off the top of my head but I thought that was interesting and I went with that little bit of canon... and well, I guess this is what Fred came up with. There will be more on that later though. I just wanted to explain my reasoning behind the chapter :)
Thanks for reading, I'd love to know what you thought.