I'm Dying Inside
Author's Note: MERRY CHRISTMAS! Hope you enjoy this!
Warnings: Rape, not graphic as this a T rated fic just mentions of it and violence.
Chapter Six: Not Strong Enough
Flashing lights burned Damon's eyes as he ran into town, escaping down the busy streets. His lungs burned and he was panting for air. A shaky feeling followed him as he slowed to a walk, staggering around the sidewalk to find himself outside of a club on the skirts of Fell's Church.
The people standing outside of the club payed him no attention, assuming he was just another one of the drunks hanging around outside.
Damon traveled inside his breathing still quickened though he could walk straight now. Smells surrounded him but not as they had when he was a vampire.
Everything was...muffled. He could remember when he could hear every conversation in a club like this while listening to the rhythm and the lyrics of the music and simultaneously chatting up a hot date.
Now he was blind, deaf, stupid. An animal without its senses.
"Hey there hot stuff. Wanna dance?" A girl in a very low cut shirt asked. Any other time Damon would've waved a charming smile at her and got out on the dance floor with her, making her into his meal later on but tonight he just needed a drink.
No people, just alcohol.
He breathed in deeply and shook his head in reply, making a beeline towards the bar and ordering a drink a rough voice.
Colors were blinding him. Yellows. Blues, oranges, white, and worst of all red. Bright red, the color of blood. Something he had so once craved and now so hated.
The colors were blurring together becoming flashing images of past murder victims. Blood everywhere, so much blood. That's all he could recognize anyways, not the faces of the victims or the names of the people he killed, not even the places he killed them in. All that was clear was the blood.
There was too much of it.
Standing up shakily, feeling the effects of the alcohol hit him Damon staggered towards a back door of the club, stumbling out into the alleyway to escape the images brought on by the bright colors.
He escaped into the dark alley only to find it was already occupied by a group of people, drinking their own booze talking loudly. All big men, full of muscle.
They all turned to him as the door slammed shut.
"Oh look at who we got here." One of them slurred out, the stench of alcohol on his breath.
For the first time in his existence Damon didn't know what to do. He wasn't a vampire, these guys could hurt him...even kill him and he had no way of fighting them off. No weapon, no back up, and certainly n supernatural strength.
He was vulnerable.
Not strong enough.
They surrounded him like caging in an animal. Reaching out towards him and of course his immediate reaction was too fight back. Bad idea.
They all pounced at once, shouting curses and grinning as they beat him down. Throwing punches, kicking, slamming him against the wall.
Once he was limp in the arms of the largest one, most likely the leader did they stop.
"Well he's a pretty one. What do ya' say boys? Should we make him feel as pretty as he looks?" The man asked with a sadistic look in his eyes.
Fear clenched at Damon's heart. The events of what happened next passed by him in a blur. He could feel their touch, he felt the bruises form, and he could feel the pain but none of it seemed real. He let his mind drift away from his body, desperate to get away from the horror below.
He was barely conscious but he could hear them laugh, hear their shouts of glee as the other man raped him.
Once it was over he was lying on the concrete ground, his jeans pulled back up but not buttoned. There was a pain flaring inside of him, bursting out if he even twitched. But nothing compared to the mental pain.
The knowledge of what had just happened. Knowing just how far he had fallen down.
A mantra kept repeating in his head even as the owner of the club found him calling an ambulance.
.
It was the only thought left in his barren mind.
As the paramedics lifted him onto the stretched, throwing questions at him he just barely managed to speak out Stefan's name and address knowing it was important for them to know this.
But truthfully he didn't really want to go back to the Boarding House, mostly because everyone would know why the great, strong, invincible Damon Salvatore was in the hospital in the first place.
He didn't think he could handle even more of those pitying looks. He would go insane.
As he drifted off into unconscious finally his mantra lulled him into sleep.
Not strong enough to fight them off.
Not strong enough to stop them.
Not strong enough to keep going.
Not strong enough to stay sane.
Just not strong enough.
XXX
Reeeview. Tell me what you think!