Director Cho's Retirement Dinner
Summary:
As CBI Director Kimball Cho prepares to move to a new job, a young agent plays host to two special guests who come to visit for his retirement dinner. The story takes place at some point in the future.
*****Author's Notes*****
I do not own the TV show The Mentalist. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes only. I get no compensation from it.
California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) Agent Abby Hawthorne receives the assignment to host the two most famous alumni of the Bureau when they come to attend Director Cho's retirement dinner. Agent Hawthorne narrates the story.
*****A Special Edition of Patrick Jane Debunks*****
Two weeks after the Janes left our team was snowed under with work. Everyone including the Boss had put in grueling hours trying to crack our latest case. One aspect of the case was a series of complex money transactions tied to the murder. The Boss had assigned me to track down the offshore accounts where the killer had hidden money. Late in the afternoon I discovered a connection in timing between withdrawals and deposits. It was the detail that could finally crack the case, so I immediately went to see the Boss.
I found her and A.D. Rigsby sitting at her desk looking at her computer screen. They were not merely laughing, the Boss was bent over holding her sides and Rigsby was wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. It took a few moments for them to get themselves under control.
"Boss, I think I found the financial connection. We can know for certain when the financial records get sent to me in the morning."
"Good work, Abby."
"Good work, indeed." A.D. Rigsby added. Because of the scope of the investigation he had become involved in the case as well.
Hearing those simple words from the two of them made all those hours on the phone, writing emails, and staring at spreadsheets worthwhile.
The Boss and Rigsby got up from their chairs, and Rigsby slipped on his jacket.
"Let's head out, Grace."
"You need a breather, Abby. Wayne and I are going to dinner. Come sit at my desk and take a look at this. The Janes have really outdone themselves this time."
The two of them left and I shifted over to the Boss's chair. Pulled up on one screen was a video of a new Patrick Jane Debunks episode. On her other screen was a message from Teresa Jane to the Boss:
"Grace - We thought you might enjoy seeing our next episode before it premieres. It just came out of post-production. Just don't tell anyone where you got it. Or if you do, say it was 'Paddy' that leaked the video! - Teresa"
I sat down and scrolled through the video.
Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.
Closed captioning: On.
Announcer: "And now, Patrick Jane Debunks!"
Paddy and the Lovely Lisbon are sitting on a park bench facing the camera in interview-style fashion.
Paddy: "The Lovely Lisbon and I are always enjoying climbing through wasp nests, getting chased by bears, and falling through floors of abandoned houses all across the United States..."
The Lovely Lisbon: "Speak for yourself, Paddy.!"
Paddy: "...As I was saying, we enjoy our adventures all across the United States. My favorite adventure was our visit to Minnesota to debunk the Madison marsupial. You do not get a marsupial merely by tying a miniature apron around a racoon."
The Lovely Lisbon: "My favorite is always whatever the last one was that we finished without mishap."
Paddy: "But for this special edition of Patrick Jane Debunks! we are attempting our biggest challenge to date. We're going to the Himalayas to debunk one of mankind's greatest myths, the myth of the Abominable Snowman!"
The Lovely Lisbon: "No we're not!"
Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.
Paddy: "Well, here we are in the beautiful Himalayas, home to the tallest mountain peaks in the world."
The Lovely Lisbon: "It's beautiful. I hope we get some good pictures."
Paddy: "But I'll tell you one thing we won't get a picture of."
LL: "What's that?"
Paddy: "The Abominable Snowman, of course. Because he is simply a myth."
The Lovely Lisbon: "We agree on that, Paddy."
Paddy: "And to prove our point, we're going straight into the Abominable Snowman's supposed lair. 17,000 feet up that mountain range over there."
The Lovely Lisbon: "No we're not!"
Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.
Paddy and the Lovely Lisbon, both in parkas, stand beside a snow drift, elevation 17,278 feet.
Paddy: "...So LL, tell me what you're feeling now."
The Lovely Lisbon: "Cold, Paddy. Very cold. And oxygen-deprived."
Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.
Paddy and the Lovely Lisbon are surrounded by stacks of electronic and mountaineering equipment.
Paddy looking at the camera: "You know, my lady sometimes gets exasperated with me."
The Lovely Lisbon: "Getting there now, Paddy."
Paddy: "Not to worry, LL. Using this equipment we will soon have the proof we need that the Abominable Snowman does not exist."
Paddy puts on a pair of large headphones to test the sound quality.
The Lovely Lisbon: "I hope so."
Paddy: "What did you say?"
The Lovely Lisbon speaking louder: "I hope so."
Paddy: "What did you say?"
Paddy takes off his headphones while the Lovely Lisbon isn't looking.
The Lovely Lisbon now yelling: "I said, I-hope-so."
Paddy: "You don't have to yell, LL. I took the headphones off."
Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.
The Lovely Lisbon is walking beside a large bank of snow.
The Lovely Lisbon: "Paddy, where are you?"
Paddy: "Over here, my dear."
The Lovely Lisbon: "Where?"
Paddy: "Buried under this snow."
The Lovely Lisbon: "How did that happen?"
Paddy: "I would suppose it was the avalanche."
The Lovely Lisbon: "You mean the one you started. On purpose."
Paddy: "But for a worthy cause, LL."
A crew begins to dig Paddy out of the snow.
The Lovely Lisbon: "Was it worth an avalanche, Paddy?"
Paddy: "You didn't see the Abominable Snowman come running out when the avalanche started, did you?"
The Lovely Lisbon: "No."
Paddy: "I rest my case."
Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.
Paddy and the Lovely Lisbon are sitting on the park bench back home again.
Paddy: "Well my Lovely Lisbon, what did you think of our excursion to the top of world?"
The Lovely Lisbon: "I'm glad we're home safe and sound."
Paddy: "Well, don't get too comfortable, LL, because we're heading out again soon."
The Lovely Lisbon: "We are?"
Paddy: "Why yes, LL. We'll be jetting to the British Isles, Scotland to be precise."
The Lovely Lisbon: "That sounds like fun, Paddy."
Paddy: "Think of all the history, the people, the culture we'll see."
The Lovely Lisbon crosses her arms: "OK, Paddy, what's the catch?"
Paddy: "The catch? Oh, you mean our next project. Yes, after our success with debunking the Abominable Snowman..."
The Lovely Lisbon: "Success?"
Paddy: "Yes, LL. After our success with debunking the Abominable Snowman we're going to turn our attention to that famous water-borne creature, Nessie herself, the Loch Ness Monster!"
The Lovely Lisbon: "No we're not!"
Paddy: "Ladies and gentlemen, you've been a wonderful audience. Until next time, the Lovely Lisbon and I bid you adieu."
Paddy bows to the camera in the manner of a Shakespearean actor. The Lovely Lisbon rolls her eyes.
End video.
*****The End*****
*****Author's Notes*****
Thank you to everyone who read, followed, favorited, and reviewed the story!
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