Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).

Author's note: Sorry, I won't be updating for the next week or so for my birthday . We're going on vacation and I won't have Internet access.

Review if you want more!

The next morning, Alex didn't meet up with Olivia in the cafeteria. She sat by herself in a corner, hoping against hope that Olivia wouldn't notice her and ask what was wrong. She took out a book and tried to read.

"Alex!" Olivia trotted up to her. "Aren't you going to come sit with me?"

Alex didn't say anything. She didn't want to have to push away her best friend in the whole world. She hoped Olivia would take the hint.

Olivia peered carefully at her friend. "Alex, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just, Liv, I think we should take a break from being friends."

Olivia frowned. "Is it Liam? I know he doesn't like me."

"No, no, it's not. It's just . . . Liv, you're my best friend, but I can't do this anymore."

"What can't you do?"

Alex buried her head in her hands, trying to hold back the hot tears that threatened to fall. "I can't choose – between you and him – you're my best friend – but I love him!"

"He doesn't love you," commented Olivia.

Alex stood sharply, glaring at her friend. "Yes, he does. He does!"

"No, Alex," said Olivia, sounding a bit defeated. "He wants to control you and there's a difference." Then it gave way to sadness. "I never thought you'd be so easy to control."

"He loves me," repeated Alex stubbornly. "That's what matters. I don't have enough time for him when I'm with you."

Olivia wasn't looking at her, though. Instead she was staring at the purple bruise on Alex's left wrist where her sleeve had ridden up. "Alex, did he hurt you?"

"No! Liam would never do that." But they both knew she was lying through her teeth.

"Alex," said Olivia softly. "You need help."

She shook her head. "I'm fine, Liv."

"No, you're not fine. Alex, did he – did he ever force you?" It was so hard for her to ask but she felt she had to.

"No! Never."

"Did you ever – do it?"

"Yeah. But I wanted it. I wanted it. I did." But she didn't know if she was trying to convince Olivia or herself.

"This isn't the Alex I know," said Olivia sadly, shaking her head.

It wasn't the Alex that Alex knew either. Even Alex didn't know who Alex was anymore.

* * *

Liam waited for her at her classroom at lunchtime. She managed to smile at him as he took her arm and led her to a table at the back of the cafeteria, far away from Elliot and Olivia, who kept shooting them apprehensive glances. Nothing more was said about Olivia; Alex had done as Liam said and got rid of her best friend and so he was momentarily appeased.

Alex sat silently, watching Liam wolf down three slices of pizza. "So . . . do you have basketball practice after school?" she asked, but her voice quavered slightly.

Liam shrugged. "Yeah. We're practicing for the game on Friday. You're coming to see me, right?"

"Of course," answered Alex.

"That's my girl," said Liam with a grin, putting his arm around Alex. She cringed at the touch, put didn't pull away.

She tried to smile back, but couldn't quite manage it.

How had she ended up here?

* * *

When Alex got home, she went into her bathroom and took out the razor. She examined it carefully before slicing her arm once again. She watched the blood pour out and smiled before pressing a paper towel to the wound.

* * *

Alex was caught in a deep, dark, downhill spiral that she could not break free of. She stopped spending time with Olivia and Elliot. She hated herself so much that she stopped eating. She weighed herself daily. She was down to 85 pounds now, but that wasn't good enough. Liam told her that she was getting heavy and so she forced herself to throw up what little she managed to eat.

When the burden got too much to bear, she cut herself. She now had a pattern of deep red lines etched into her skin on her left arm. It comforted her to see the gashes and the large white scars that remained even after the initial cut healed. Liam couldn't hurt her any more than she could hurt herself.

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