Maya knew that she was being a bit ridiculous. Since when did she of all people primp her appearance in the bathroom after school? She never cared if she was a bit sweaty, or if her hair was askew after her playing with it throughout the day. This afternoon though was different. It had found her sniffing at her tee-shirt to ensure that she had indeed showered properly after gym and running her fingers through her hair in an effort to tame it, before finally giving up on that entirely and settling for a simple braid that she secured with a random rubber band that laid next to the sink.

She couldn't believe that she was doing this, she thought, even as she gave herself a final one over while wondering if maybe she should try to snag a bit of lip-gloss or something off whoever came in next. "No," she muttered, glaring at her reflection. That wasn't her. She didn't do glosses or make-up, not even when a raging pimple made its appearance in the centre of her forehead. She wasn't one of those girls, which begged her to wonder why she was even in the bathroom checking up on herself in the first place.

It was Emily's fault she ultimately decided, as she swung her recently acquired backpack onto her shoulder. After all, she had to carry her own books now, and, centring the weight, she marvelled at how Riley had done this willing for the past few years. The textbooks were heavy; she could scarcely imagine how scrawny Riley had carried two sets of them around for so long without complaint. She supposed that she was a lot stronger than she gave her credit for.

Somehow Maya had become the prize for the two cousins, and both, regardless of her interest or opinion, seemed determined to recruit her. She had been in the art room once again that lunchtime - pointedly ignoring Mr. Jackson's searching look - when first Liam and then Emily had arrived. Liam had brought with him a program outline of what the club intended to do for the semester, and, Maya had honestly been impressed with it. It was more than just activities; they would actually be going into aspects of art history that was not covered on the curriculum. But, just as she had started to ask her questions, Emily had arrived with a medium built yet ridiculously tall senior in tow, demanding that he listen to Maya sing right there and then because she was certain that she was exactly what the group needed. The satisfied smirk she had shot Liam while the senior introduced himself had not been lost on her, but, the guy had been genuinely interested in her ability, led her through a bit of scales and then suggested that she come to the choir room after school for a real audition. And, with all of the room's occupants' eyes on her, Maya had no real choice but to accept the offer.

It was only now that she truly realised the weight of that decision. Why on earth had she put herself into this position, one that would find her standing in front of a bunch of students she didn't know who were there solely to judge her? She knew she had a decent voice, but she had never really focussed on it as a talent before. Singing was what she did spontaneously, and of course, to save the odd Arts programme here and there, but to sing like this, for the pleasure of others? That was a new thing to her, and she was not entirely sure if she was capable of doing it. Singing could be very personal, and Dylan, the senior, had asked for her to sing something meaningful to her. Was she capable of managing that?

She let out a frustrated sigh as she jogged up some stairs, wishing that she had a better idea of Josh's schedule. She would have liked nothing better than to talk to him a bit in the twenty or so minutes she had before she was needed in the choir room, but the last thing she wanted to do was be a nuisance to him. They were already scheduled for a phone call that night, she would just have to do as she always did until then, pull on her big-girl boots and get the thing done.

It wasn't as if she had anyone else who could do it for her.

"Maya?"

Lost in her thoughts, the blonde didn't realise exactly what part of the school she was in until she heard Riley call to her. Her body reacted first, and, she had stopped and was facing the brunette long before her mind fully realised it. Riley was standing in the doorway to her father's classroom, holding on to doorframe with one hand to keep herself balanced correctly. It had not even occurred to Maya that Riley would have still been on the compound, but it made sense. It was Thursday, her father's day to supervise detention for sophomore students. Thursdays also meant that Farkle and Smackle were in at their weekly Chemistry club meeting, while Zay and Lucas had baseball practice after the latter had successfully negotiated a second try-out and had made it that time. Thursday had previously been Maya and Riley day, meaning that the two of them would have fun together until five thirty, which was usually the time the rest of them, if they weren't too tired, joined them at Topanga's. Without her, it meant that Riley had no one to spend the time with, and so, with her bum ankle, it had literally left her with no choice but to wait for her father to finish his duties.

"Hey Riles," Maya responded, the nickname coming easily to her even as within her, the knot in her stomach that formed whenever she thought of her and Lucas started to manifest itself. "How's your ankle?"

"I get the brace off tomorrow," Riley informed her, her tone equally guarded.

"No," Maya bid as Riley hopped closer to where she was. "You shouldn't-"

"Why did you switch classes?" Riley asked, interrupting her. "Farkle says you don't want to be around me, around Lucas. But that can't be true right? You wouldn't want to get away from me. Right Maya?"

"Riley…"

"Because we're friends Maya," Riley told her, "best friends. And if something is wrong we talk about it, even if that makes us mad at each other for a bit, because that's what best friends do. And that's what we are right? Best friends?"

"You know we are Riley," Maya said quietly, because that, she knew, was true. Even with the problems Riley had caused her, she still had not lost one ounce of the love she had for her.

"Then talk to me Maya," she bid. "We haven't spoken a word to each other since Saturday. You haven't been to my house since then, and you're not responding to my calls or messages. And I know you're not grounded because you were texting Farkle yesterday. You're speaking to him, so why aren't you speaking to me?"

Maya sincerely regretted that now. She had forced herself to be indifferent to the string of messages she got from Riley, and the fewer, yet considerably wordier ones Lucas had sent to her. She had read none of them, had seen only what was briefly previewed on her notification bar. But, when Farkle had messaged her, a short "Where are you? I'm worried." she had felt compelled to tell him that, yet again, she had no plans on joining them at Topanga's. He hadn't asked for any further explanation, choosing simply to remind her that he could help her with Algebra if she wanted, and had left it at that. Now, she realised, she would have been better off letting him stew for a while. Perhaps, it would have saved her from this.

"I don't have the time to deal with this now Riley," she said. "I have to be somewhere."

"You have to be here, with me," Riley retorted loudly, and a few curious looks were thrown their way by a couple of juniors who was passing.

"Not right now, I don't," she reiterated.

"Did I do something?"

Maya hesitated to response, honestly wondering if she should literally just run away from her; it was not like she could follow. That would be the less painful option, because Maya did not, could not, and would not lie to her. If she opened her mouth, if she told Riley the truth in any real way right now, even a tiny portion of it, her words would definitely push the sheen covering Riley's eyes into outright tears, and that would break her, both the sight of Riley crying, but also the knowledge that she was responsible for it. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; she had left Riley safely in Lucas' care and the cowboy should have thoroughly rid Riley of any concerns regarding her by now. It wasn't as if she were indispensable; her father had proven that to her years ago. Riley should have been happily parading about Riley Town with her prince by now. She shouldn't have been standing there, looking at her with such a broken hearted expression.

"Can we deal with this another time?" she hedged.

"Why? So you can do a better job of hiding from me?"

She knew her too well, Maya thought. "Riley, look, just relax okay? Everything will work out as it should. It already has."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she demanded. "Maya, tell me."

"I'm not going to," Maya shot back, letting her frustration bleed into her tone. Riley was like a dog with a bone, she just would not let it go until she had gotten every last ounce of meat off it, but Maya was definitely not going to just stand there and let herself be gnawed on.

Riley pursed her lips, a sure sign of agitation, before, with a smirk of triumph, lifted her hand. "I declare ring power," she announced. "Now answer me."

Maya's eyes widened in shock. She really had not expected Riley to invoke that, and, now that she had, the ring on her own finger felt considerably tighter. "Just let me go Riley," she bid.

"No. You can't not answer me," Riley reminded her, her voice rising and growing increasingly shaky. "You know the rules; we made them together. Ring power means you have to do it, and I called it. Tell me what's wrong!"

Maya's fists clenched, and that vicious voice in her head - the one that laughed as ballerinas assaulted her in her dreams - reminded her that this was why she didn't deserve happiness, why she shouldn't try to do anything that could benefit her. It never lasted, it never would. She had had fun with Emily and Liam the day before, had actually managed a conversation with Shane, her history partner, while Matthews had been distracted, had even knocked Zay flat while playing dodgeball, and this was the reward for that. She was standing there in an empty corridor watching her best friend through a sheen of tears call upon the one thing that cemented the promises they had made to each other through the years, a thing that she would have to break if she wanted to have any chance of preserving the happiness of a girl who had scarcely experienced anything else in her life.

"Maya-"

"Leave me alone Riley," she snapped, her entire body now shaking. "You have everything you want now. Just leave me be."

"But-"

"Riley, if you care about me at all, just break the call and let me leave. Don't make me be the one who has to do it." Because, she knew, it would break her. She had already said her goodbye to Riley with that letter; she wouldn't survive if she had to do it again.

"I won't Maya," Riley said stubbornly. "I don't understand what's happening, but I won't. I want the truth."

Maya's breath hitched, and she silently cursed Riley's stubbornness. Because now the ball was in her court once again and she would have to do it, she would have to…

"Riley why are you shouting?" Lucas asked concerned, as he hurried down the steps. "I heard you from – Maya," he finished, his voice shocked as he looked at her.

The universe, Maya decided in that moment, absolutely hated her. She didn't know what she had done to piss it off, but, it had to have been completely devastating because now she was being made to watch as Lucas came up to Riley's side, still looking at her even as he wrapped his arm around Riley's waist. And, when her friend's head bent to lean on his shoulder, Maya had to reach up with a balled fist and all but jab at her eyes to prevent the tears from falling.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking from one girl to the next. "Maya, are you okay?"

"Fine," she ground out, taking a deep but shaky breath as she tried to force herself to regain her composure. "I was just leaving."

"No don't," Riley protested. "Lucas, she's breaking ring power. Stop her."

"That's sacred," Lucas said, surprised before training his eyes upon her. "Just what is going on with you Maya?"

"None of your business," she responded, noting that even to her own ears, her voice sounded stand-offish. Lucas' eyebrows raised, in the way she knew meant that he was shocked about whatever she was saying or doing, and not at all in a good way.

"I think it's my business when two of my friends are at odds with each other," he told her levelly. "Not to mention the fact that you're upset with me, and I don't even know why."

"Neither do I," Riley added.

"So how about this," he offered. "I don't need to be at practice right now. We can just go into Mr. Matthews' classroom and talk this thing through. We can figure out what's bothering you Maya, and what that letter you left for us is all about."

"No we're not," she snapped, her fragile hold on her feelings slipping with the mention of the letter. But, as she had long learnt about herself, she didn't do sadness well, at least not over a prolonged time period. And so, the days' worth of pain was morphing, goaded by the disappointed expression in his gaze and his slightly patronising tone, as if he thought she was acting out, like a child. "I'm leaving like I had planned to from the start."

"No you're not."

"Well it's not like you can stop me," she reminded him. "I'm the one who can't be contained, remember?"

He raised a single brow at her and his voice was annoyingly assured as he responded, "You're remembering wrong Maya. We both know that I can contain you as long as necessary."

His smirk at the end, and the memories he was evoking of a time when it was Riley and not her who had an identity crisis, an actual identity crisis, was too much for her. She couldn't even believe the irony of that, and, it raised her irritation level even further. "Yeah well you can keep telling yourself that cowboy," she all but snarled, startling them, "because I can and I will break you if you try."

"Maya," Riley intoned, shocked. "Don't talk to him like that! This isn't like you."

"Don't tell me what's like or not like me," she growled, glaring at her.

Riley recoiled, and her action was enough to temper Maya, because this was absolutely not what she had originally set out to do. She wasn't supposed to be hurting Riley.

"Do not talk to her like that," Lucas warned her, taking a protective step forward. "I won't let anyone hurt her, even if it's you Maya."

And there it was, Maya thought, even as she dismissed Riley's presence for now to focus solely on him. Lucas had done what her letter had intended him to; it was clear, they were a couple and Lucas was playing to role of protective knight exactly as he should. A minute part of her was glad for that, because it made what she intended to do now a lot easier to do. She was certain now more than ever that Riley was in capable hands. And, it was not as if she could have remained number one in her life forever. Shawn had been displaced from that position when Mr. Matthews had married his wife, and Lucas would have eventually done the same to her. She was only expediting the process. They would thank her someday.

"You don't scare me," she told him, her eyes blazing as she let her anger take full reign. "You have never scared me and you never will. You can't contain me, you can't tell me what to do and you can't stop me. I do what I want, when I want and how I want."

"Wow," Lucas breathed. "You're just gunning for it aren't you?"

"I don't need you," she continued, ignoring him, "and I don't need you," she added, glancing at an increasingly distraught Riley. "All I need is to be left the hell alone so I can be who I want to be, who I need to be for my sake and no one else. I'm tired of pretending, and I'm not going to do it anymore, and since it's obvious you can't deal with that, I'm gone."

"Maya you don't mean that," Riley said quickly. "You need us."

"I have all I need."

"Don't go Maya," Lucas said as she turned, preparing to walk away. "We're not done talking."

"I am," she said, looking back. "You two can talk all you want, but I'm not listening."

"Is this about the triangle?" Lucas demanded. "Because you chose to do this Maya. You can't be angry with us because of what you did."

She laughed, she couldn't help it, although, to her own ears, the sound was slightly hysterical. "Oh you poor stupid cowboy," she said once she had regained a bit of composure, "this has gone way past that. And you don't even know why, don't you? You know what? It doesn't matter anymore. None of this does, because I'm done. It's over. All of this is over."

"It isn't over," Lucas responded, "not like this Maya."

"Maya, please," Riley pleaded, tears slipping free finally, "Let's just talk."

"We done too much talking," Maya informed her, "far too much. And I'm tired of it. Tired of everything."

With those last words Maya started running, trusting that Lucas would stay with a crying Riley this time around rather than come after her. She was right, and perhaps it was that realisation that broke the dam within her. She didn't even notice when she passed Sarah, Darby and Yogi who had been at the far end of the corridor the entire time, looking at the unfolding debacle with varying degrees of horror, or when she nearly bowled over Shane who too had arrived at the tail end of her conversation and, after a moment, took off after her. She wouldn't notice his presence until she tripped over her feet and fell, the pain finally riding her of the last vestiges of control, leaving her crying on the floor, but she did notice and hung on numbly to him when he dropped down beside her, pulled her close to him and allowed her to sob in his arms.