Chapter Six
Relationships Re-examined and Calculated Conclusions
Alan awoke to a ringing sound, and quickly identified it as his cell phone. He decided he must have fallen asleep on the flight to Richard house as he groggily answered the call. Alan felt absolutely exhausted, but luckily now it was mid season break for the racing teams, but Alan was just as determined to push himself.
"Hello?" His eyes shut again as he spoke.
"Well hello sleepy head, oh dear…did I wake up sleeping beauty?" Alan sighed and rubbed his eyes with this unoccupied hand.
"Gordon. Is that you?" Alan yawned.
"Of course it is. How is my favourite speed freak of a baby bro? Gordon sounded practically overjoyed.
"Tired, I'm just on a flight heading to New York to move some of my things for a few days before I go back to train in California." As soon as he said it Alan realised he had just given away his location.
"Well so am I, so do you fancy a night out together in the city? It'll be fun, let's just take a moment to imagine it." Gordon paused before continuing his theatrical account. Alan cringed; he was still surprised the academy hadn't given his brother an Oscar for performances like these yet.
"I'll be there with a beer in my hand, and you'll be there with a soda in yours. I'll be going to sleep with a hot girl by my side after getting some action, and you'll be sleeping next to your teddy bear, which last saw some action when the cat got confused. What do you think kiddo?" Alan burst out laughing and knew Gordon had a huge smirk on his face just by hearing his voice.
"I think you're annoying, and that the last girl you had in your bed was probably inflated." Alan was still smiling, he actually did like the idea of seeing Gordon, and he had missed him lately.
"Come on grumpy, it's just you and me, no other bossy big brothers. I promise Al." Gordon's attitude made Alan smile, Gordon engineered an idea as he spoke, so continued.
"I know what; I will tell you a secret if you come out with me?" Gordon was very persuasive when he wanted something.
"Okay, okay, I'll come out for one drink. Now, what's the secret?" Alan sounded like his old self now to Gordon, and that made part of him feel sad that he hadn't heard Alan like this for a long time.
"Scott waxes his chest, and then rubs moisturise in to it to make his skin soft, I caught him doing it last time I was on leave and at home. Apparently he's very sensitive about the subject Virgil says, and Scott does it to show of his chest." Alan couldn't hold it in and laughed out loud again, joining his brother in fits of laughter at the image.
"Alright you got me Gordon; I'll come out with you. God I would have done virtually anything to hear that. It will have to be later tonight though, I need some more sleep before I am up to going out. I will text you the details later on." Gordon laughter was contagious to changing Alan's mood, and it always had been.
"Fantastic Al, I knew you had missed me. How could anyone not miss me?" Gordon sounded amazed by the question he posed.
"Gordon." Alan's voice now lacked humour, and sounded serious and hesitant Gordon noticed, but he didn't match his brother's tone.
"Yes Allie." Alan rolled his eyes at that name; Scott always called him that when he was concerned about him, its use now by Gordon was only to annoy him.
"Don't break you're promise. No one else but you, okay?" Alan's tone was darker again.
"I won't Alan, it'll be just me." Gordon dropped the jolliness and gave his brotherly trust.
"Now get lost I want some sleep." Alan faked grumpiness this time, and his casual tone was back.
"Yeah you go back to sleep. You don't want to loose those gorgeous baby boy looks do you, otherwise I just have to take care of that girlfriend of yours." Alan smirked at that idea.
"Ex-girlfriend remember, anyway it's not like we can date when were in different countries is it?" Alan hadn't introduced Lana and Gordon to each other but since Gordon had found out him secretly seeing Lana he had told him some things about there relationship.
"Whatever, I have seen the way you are when your thinking about her… you love her…" Gordon had gone into ultrasonic frequencies for the last bit, and Alan didn't reply.
"Bye Gordon." Gordon ended the call happy that Alan was wiling to trust him again.
Alan sat back and glanced at the window, Gordon had reminded him again how much he was looking forward to seeing Lana while he was in California. The split between them had been mutual, with Alan travelling and Lana studying, a relationship wouldn't have been fair, but he had truly missed her. Since his conversation with Richard he decided they should meet up at his new home, since Mark was staying there he had invited Lana too.
Alan examined his phone and scrolled down until had found the last message Lana had sent him as his girlfriend; it was dated just before he started training for Richard's team.
'Go have fun, and show the world your talent Alan, we will be together again when we can I'm certain of that. I love you Alan, Lana.'
He had secretly read this message before all of the main races this season.
Alan smiled before dialling her number. As soon as he heard her sweet English accent, he found himself recalling all the times they had spent together, over the two years they had dated. Their relationship had been a secret from Alan's family. However when your girlfriend is your best friend, and racing partner's sister, the secret was instantly out to her brother and mom. Alan had slotted into the small Hamilton family well, and after training Alan often spent dinner with the family while his father worked until late.
"Hi… I just wanted to call to say that I miss you…" Alan spoke slowly and softly.
From first seeing her Alan had been star struck by Mark's sister, he may have been sixteen but Alan knew she was special as she instantly reminded him of Rachel. It had been at Alan's first day at a higher level racing driving when they met. She had been there with her mom to watch Mark race. Alan had been introduced to her when she had slipped on the steps to the stadium and Alan had saved her from falling. One look into the large brown eyes, and her whispering 'my hero' in her soothing voice by Alan's ear had him mesmerised, so much so she had to ask him to let her out of his arms.
Alan smiled at the memory as he listened to her speak; the torment he had gotten about that meeting was never ending. Being with Lana even if only for a small time gave him a feeling he hadn't really had since Rachel died, happiness. However he still locked away his thoughts his feelings from her, and he blamed his past for that.
Alan had learnt from his father about how to deal with emotions. He had been hurt to many times by caring for people who were now not with him, so the blond had learnt to show nothing too no one.
Alan's mind flashed back to the news article about the allegation of abuse on him by Jeff. The blond had any mixed feelings as he looked out the window again, the more time he spent with Richard the more he resented Jeff's behaviour towards him as his father. Alan knew he wasn't innocent in this, he wanted his father to hurt like he did. He wanted some sort of revenge for the feelings his father had caused him, he just didn't know if he had made a mistake in the path he had taken to do so.
The black BMW slowed outside a small warehouse. The building was situated far from the suburbia that the security company watched over, and the place seemed deserted.
"Is this the right place?" Virgil Tracy asked from the driver's seat. He, John and Gordon all shared the same car these days as none of them were at home at the same time.
"Do you really think I would get this wrong Virgil?" Scott sounded irritated by the comment.
"Let's go. Leave the car here, but grab that bag." Scott instructed.
"What's this?" Virgil looked confused at the small black bag he held.
"You think that someone is just going to give us information for free Virgil?" Scott walked towards the guard barrier, which Scott noticed with pleasure contained a worker. Virgil showed dismay at the idea but followed his brother.
"Hi, I need to find a person who gave out or sold a CCTV disk to someone last week." Scott looked firm and confident; his military training had taught him how to succeed in these situations.
I man in his mid twenties looked Scott up and down before speaking. The worker was surprised by the directness of this stranger, and his clothing and attitude exposed that his man was wealthy and used to getting his own way.
"Were not allowed to do that, we'd get fired if we did. I can't help you." The worked got up from his chair and abandoned his X box game and cup of coffee, and moved towards the door of the small cabin to close it.
.
"It was you wasn't it? All you do is file recordings of disks, how many people do you need to do that? How about two thousand dollars for one name, and no-one need know you sold anything to anyone?" The worker and Virgil both stared at Scott with surprise as he slammed his hand into the blue door to stop it from shutting.
"You can afford more than that? And if you don't, I'm not sure I can remember who you mean." The man had a strong New York accent, and Scott quickly decided he didn't like the arrogant attitude of the man before him.
"Five is my max, so take it and talk." Scott's military training helped him again to restrain his annoyance, as he took the bag of Virgil and threw it at the man standing a few feet away from him.
"He didn't leave a name, he just asked for a disk of some footage from a house in the suburbs." The worker was examining the contents of the bag as he spoke.
"Describe him then?" Scott took the bag off him and tossed it on to the desk behind, as the worker looked back up at him with annoyance.
"Tall, blond, younger than you but nicer though." He shrugged his shoulders and smirked as Scott shot him an icy glare.
"That's it." Scott bellowed.
"It was dark, but he… he was driving a silver sports car." The man shut the door in Scott's face.
"Alan." Scott said in disbelieve not aiming it at anyone, as he turned to face his brother Virgil looked just as despairing at what they had learnt.
Scott walked swiftly past him and back to the car, Virgil followed shouting his name.
"Scott."
"I can't believe he did this Virgil, does he hate dad and us that much?" Scott never turned back around to face his brother but stopped dead in his tracks. Virgil moved around to face his brother and saw sadness in his eyes.
"I don't know why Alan spoke to the media and why he gave them that disk but I do know Alan will never forget his eldest brother's help that he has had. You were there for him Scott everyday when he was little, when dad couldn't cope after mom died, Alan loves you so much for doing that."
Virgil tried to get through, but Scott looked closed off by the information he had just heard. Alan had betrayed his family, he had used one mistake by his father to get support and attention for himself, and in the process tarnish the reputation of Jeff Tracy.
"What do I tell dad Virgil?" Scott looked to Virgil with despair, neither had any answer.
Jeff Tracy called in Peter from his office, just after ending the phone call to John. Jeff was anxious to get home and await the arrival of three of his sons, especially if the eldest two had been successful at finding the source of the media leak.
"Yes Jeff." Peter sounded as lively as usual.
"I'm sorry about this Peter, but I wondered if you would mind staying at one of the companies rented apartments from now on. It's just the four eldest are back tonight and tomorrow, and I really want some time with them by myself. The apartment is free to you of course, and it's only a few blocks away from here, is that okay with you?" Peter's face fell, and Jeff noted the shock and panic on it.
"Have I done anything wrong Jeff?" Peter almost pleaded for the answer.
"No of course not…" Jeff looked apologetic before Peter quickly interrupted.
"I don't mind being there with your boys; maybe me being there would make you all forget that Alan isn't there?" Jeff looked disturbed by the idea.
"I'm not going to forget that Alan not here even if you are there Peter, I would just like some time with my boys by myself." Peter's worries grew by Jeff's intriguing expression.
"Of course you would like some time with them. That's no problem; do you mind if I stay here and finish up a bit of work for Monday though before I head to the apartment?" Peter composed himself, but anger boiled underneath his voice.
"Of course not, you're a great employee Peter; I will see you on Monday, the address is in the clientele file." Jeff smiled as he picked up his briefcase and walked past the young man heading for home.
The clock in the hall of the Tracy home had just stroked ten pm when Jeff heard the arrival of a car on the drive, and didn't hesitated before going downstairs to meet his sons. He himself had only just arrived home from work, and had just been about to change his clothes when he heard the car, but that was forgotten as he made is way down the stairs. Jeff's feet noted the cold marble beneath him as he moved down the stairs, but seeing Scott's face as the stairs curved around made a cold shiver run down his spine.
Virgil Tracy shut the door and turned to notice his father not far from the bottom of the staircase; he had stopped in his tracks and was examining him and Scott.
Virgil knew his father would be anxious about what they had found, and this was evident in seeing him. Jeff stood with his un-tucked blue shirt open and cufflink off, and Virgil knew his father was gutted by the news. Scott Tracy wasn't often speechless, and at this moment he had no reason to say anything. His father now knew Alan was guilty by his own persona and lack of words. Jeff Tracy let go of the banister and stared at Scott only speaking to confirm his knowledge.
"Alan?" Scott nodded in response to his father.
"The description was a definite fit to Alan; we spoke to the employee who sold him the disk. He lied." Scott spoke with no emotion, but noted the mixed of anger, sadness and disappointment in his father's face.
"Dad?" Virgil called out, as his father turned to go back the way he came.
"Just give me a bit of time on my own boys; I'll see you in the morning, John's already asleep so don't wake him up will you." Jeff sounded exhausted but Virgil knew he wouldn't sleep much tonight.
Scott moved to follow his father but Virgil's hand held him back.
"Leave him until tomorrow Scott, there isn't anything else you can do now." Scott turned and slammed his hands on to the nearest wall.
"Why did he do this?" Virgil had no answer, his brother was furious.
"Where are you going?" Virgil asked as Scott stormed past him towards the door snatching his keys to his Porsche on the way.
"To find Alan." Scott yelled back exiting the house.
"Scott, dad needs you here, and you don't even know where Alan is right now. Don't be stupid, will we find where Alan is and go see him in a few days, for now it's dad that needs us to be here."
Virgil looked at his eldest brother; after he had spoken Scott had stopped and was now leaning his arms forward on to the side of his sports car.
"I just want to make things right between them, mom would hated this." Scott's composure cracked for an instant. Emotion was evident in his voice and his eyes as he remembered the time he had spent with Alan in his cars over the years.
"I know." Scott looked up at his brother, as he heard the same sadness in Virgil's voice; he resumed his usual controlled composure and moved to embrace his younger brother. After a second Scott dropped an arm and rolled his eyes at Virgil ability to change his behaviour like no one else could, with one arm still around his brother he walked back inside the house.
"Come on, I need I drink." Virgil smiled in agreement.
The light shone through the tree canopy intermittently covering Gordon Tracy in either sunlight or shadow, as he walked up the long drive to his childhood home. Gordon knew the troubles that inhabited this house at the moment, and they were in stark contrast to the memories of his youth here. Gordon smirked as he looked at the large lawns that inhabited many an old oak tree, the fun his brothers and he had in them would last a lifetime. Today though, he was here not to judge either Alan or his father, but to hopefully show his brother that he did have support in his family no matter what he had or hadn't done. As Gordon saw the large white traditional featured house in front of him, he chuckled as a plan formed in his mind, the early hour of six am would work to his advantage.
Virgil Tracy murmured and moaned at the words he heard in his semi conscious state, someone was holding him and he was enjoying it. As he opened his sleepily eyes and as he shifted his body weight Virgil remembered where he was, he suddenly became concerned and turned around quickly before screaming.
"Oh Virgil, oh Virgil… I love you Virgil, cuddle up to me again."
Gordon Tracy had to stop himself from laughing as he put on a soft feminine voice and made his breath felt on his brother's ear. Gordon had previously snuck into his brother's room straight after entering the house. Everyone knew Virgil slept like the dead, so he was an easy target when asleep. Gordon had rapped his arms around his brother and was only pushed away by Virgil's quick movement and anxious scream.
Jeff Tracy hadn't slept well, and as he entered the upstairs hallway one look at Scott leaving his bathroom showed a similar tale. Before the two had time to speak though, a scream came from Virgil's room, both ran in that direction and swiftly opened the door.
Scott Tracy looked confused, shocked, but then very amused at a panic stricken Virgil Tracy and a crying with laughter Gordon Tracy.
"Gordon!" Virgil yelled, he was still covered by his duvet and his hair was stuck out at many irregular angles, and fury was shown on his face.
"Gordon?" The name was then repeated by his father.
"Hey dad…Scott… did you….miss me?" Gordon barely managed those words through laughter, as he rolled around on the floor.
"What happened?" Scott smiled, and even Jeff had to try hard not to look amused by Virgil's look.
"I just thought I would wake up Virgil up in a loving manner because I missed him, and he got mad at me. Can you believe that behaviour from my own brother?" Gordon's smile was evil and mischievous.
"What? You were cuddling me and telling you loved me, in a girl's voice!" Virgil grabbed a pillow and threw it at his brother as he spoke, as both his elder brother and father started laughing from where they stood in the doorway.
Jeff continued smiling as he made his way to his pillow holding son, before pulling him up and embraced him with real pleasure at his return.
"It's nice to have you home son." Jeff hugged his son, while smiling at Virgil.
"Is it?" Virgil quietly commented, but Jeff ignored it.
"So, here we are all back under the same roof for a while, this is going to be fun." Gordon spoke with a cheeky smile as he jumped on to Virgil's bed to sit next to his older sleep deprived brother and hugged him.
"Well most of us are here." Jeff still smiled but this time it wasn't heartfelt.
"Gordon, why don't you go and wake up John, and then we'll meet you two downstairs for breakfast." Scott was keen to return the mood of the room back to its previous state.
"Okay big brother, whatever you say I'll do." Gordon smiled devilishly and ran from the room slapping Scott on the back as he went by him.
Virgil sighed. "John's going to kill you Scott." Scott looked at him for more information.
"You just said wake him." Virgil explained as he fell back onto his pillows and pulled the duvet over his head, as Scott shot an apologetic look in the direction of John's room. Sure enough as Jeff and Scott reached the kitchen, a shriek of one name echoed through the house again, but this time from the middle Tracy's mouth.
The day was spent talking, and messing around by the four Tracy's and their father, Jeff still looked troubled but enjoyed seeing his four elder boys spend time together. After Scott had made lunch in the un-seasonally mild day, Virgil and John had their revenge at Gordon by throwing him in the indoor pool fully clothed. The four boys had then spent the afternoon swimming and playing tennis, while Jeff had watched. Scott over breakfast had wanted to talk about Alan, but Jeff insisted that he would deal with Alan tomorrow. Secretly Jeff wanted to see Alan's reaction to his gift first before confronting him about the evidence he had about his betrayal.
At six pm Gordon Tracy had finished changing and showering after his swim, and was ready to meet his brother in a bar in the city. He had heard from Virgil that Alan had been the one to give the details to the media about Alan and his father's issues, and it had shocked him. Gordon however decided he had to keep his promise to go meet his brother alone, no matter what evidence Scott had.
Gordon Tracy crept to the front door; he was dressed in smart black trousers and a dark green shirt.
"Gordon, are you going out?" John Tracy lowered his book; he was sitting on a chair in the reading room next to the front hall, when he noticed a smartly dressed Gordon trying to sneak out. John's tone may not have been harsh or loud but his words drew attention to Gordon, and both Scott and Virgil appeared in the hallway.
"Erm… I'm just going out for a bit yeah." Gordon opened the door, but was encouraged for more by Virgil.
"Is it that important to go out now Gordon? Dad wants us to have a family dinner together." Virgil looked at Scott, something else was going on Gordon always said when and where he was going when he went out.
"Gordon, you're not going out tonight." Scott was firm in his tone to support Virgil's words.
"Oh come on, I won't be long. John, you don't mind me leaving do you?" Gordon looked at his nearest in age brother for help, but John only looked unsure but he guessed Gordon was up to something.
"No, but dad will. Please stay in tonight Gordon just for him, okay. You can go out next week." John knew Gordon normally wouldn't want to cause an argument about such a silly thing.
"I can't, I have to go." Gordon stepped out on to the wooden front porch, as he heard Scott calling after him.
"Gordon, get in here now." Scott moved to stand in front of his brother on the porch, and pointed back to the door.
"Don't be selfish Gordon, it's just one night." Scott's voice was lower than before as he didn't want to alert their father to the event.
"I will make it up to dad, okay, so move out of my way Scott, please!" Scott looked bemused at the unusual behaviour from Gordon; he was never one to be demanding or purposely wanting to cause disagreements.
"No. Gordon what has gotten in to you, just do as you are told. I expect this behaviour from Alan not you, and just because he has run off doesn't mean you can start acting like his replacement." Scott griped Gordon's arm and turned him around to face back the way he came, as he did he saw his noticed his father was standing next to John in the doorway.
"What do you normally get from Alan?" Jeff asked confused at the situation, before noticing Gordon's attire.
"Nothing. Gordon was going out, but now he has changed his mind." Scott spoke casually but Gordon's face didn't agree, and had shades of annoyance plastered on it, and Jeff saw it.
"Gordon son please stay in tonight, it's not like you boys come home a lot is it?" Jeff appealed to Gordon, who then felt trapped on all sides.
"Dad… I'm sorry." Virgil and John both looked amazed by Gordon's defiance even at his father's plea.
Gordon angled his head and sighed. "I have to go out, I promised someone." Realization dawned on the faces in front of him, but it was Scott who spoke.
"It's Alan, isn't it?" Gordon turned to face his brother, and was taken aback by the bitterness in Scott's now bellowing voice.
"He's here at Barton's isn't he?" It was more than a statement than a question, as his eldest brother let go of Gordon and moved to approach his car.
"Scott I promised Alan I would see him on my own, if he sees you he will never forgive me. Please just let me go on my own." Gordon took off after him and his voice had an imploring tone as Gordon put his hand on the car door to block Scott's exit plan.
"Tough, I need to see him." Scott looked amazed at Gordon's request.
"I can't believe after him lying and then blaming dad for releasing that article you want to go see him, he's causing so much trouble Gordon." John was now strongly questioning his brother's actions.
"He's my baby brother John, and yours too don't forget." Gordon turned to face John who was now standing behind him.
"Listen, I know you all think Alan sold that article to get back at us and you dad, and that he's lying, but when I look that idea it just doesn't match Alan." Gordon spoke with certainty and strength in his beliefs.
"Alan isn't intentionally malice or purposely devious, and he wouldn't want such negative judgements being held over this family; and he would never be the source of that happening. All he wanted was some space and some support, and you're judging him on behaviours that he would never do. Why do you believe others and not him? If he says it's true and that he did do it then Alan isn't the person I thought he was, but until then I am going to believe what he says, because he's my brother."
"Gordon." Jeff spoke and Gordon turned to face him nervously.
"Just make sure he is okay will you." Jeff spoke with sadness before hugging his son.
Gordon walked off down the gravel drive as the last rays of light were lost from the sky. His brothers and father didn't follow him, and he had left them all in thought and uncertainty. By god Gordon hoped Alan was telling the truth.
Alan Tracy's silver Mercedes pulled up outside the Barton residence and as he opened the front door he noticed a small parcel with his name on sitting behind a plant pot. Alan opened the outside cardboard box and considered its contents. The likelihood of its origin Alan thought was Richard, but then why leave it outside the door to his home?
The blond held the package as he entered the house. There were no cars present outside the house, and the quiet interior also suggested to Alan that he was alone for now. A note from Richard confirmed he was out at a dinner meeting. Alan had introduced his brother to Ben at the club, but Ben hadn't stayed to chat long, stating he was going upstairs to his office to work. Alan had left the club a little later than Gordon, after having another drink with Ben in the office. Alan had decided he had enjoyed his night with Gordon, and was glad Gordon hadn't mentioned any recent events with his father. Gordon only said that all Alan' brothers were home for the moment, and left it there, for that he was grateful.
Alan made his way to his room opening the package further as he went, with the packaging off a posh black and white box remained. Alan sat on the end of his bed as he carefully lifted the lid and revealed a small envelope inside on which was a short hand written message. Alan instantly knew the sender and what the box also contained, the young man felt hesitant at continuing and decided to examine what he knew would be a watch first.
As he removed the card and placed it on the bed, the tissue moved too revealed a dazzling white diamond watch. Alan was surprised his father had continued this tradition with him now after everything they had been through together. He also pondered the questioned of why now his father had decided to send him his much delayed birthday gift? Mixed emotions filled the blonds mind and face; he knew Jeff always engraved a word on the back of each watch.
The word was always related to space travel, to represent his father's life, but also the word was chosen to represent something that Jeff saw in each of his sons. Scott's was Mercury; his card had details on it of why Mercury had been chosen. Mercury was the first manned space exploration missions and is also the first planet in our solar system; a relevant word for his first born son. Alan remembered reading the cards of both his elder brothers, it had details of how proud Jeff was of Scott, like Mercury Scott was the leader, and his strength and protective nature held no bounds.
Aurora was emblazed on Virgil's watch which was surrounded by yellow gems. Aurora was a beautiful mix of coloured lights that inspire artists and poets, just as Virgil's work did, Jeff had written. Aurora is also a feature on Mercury to show the variation of light and dark, Jeff had compared Virgil's similarities and differences with Scott and how they both were a wonderful combination for an unbreakable bond.
Alan broke his memories as he turned over the watch. Alan thought over the word before reading the card. Of all the space related words to describe his son Alan had expected something in line to describe the problems the pair had, he wasn't prepared for what he read.
The small white card was opened with caution, and the blond stared with amazement at its wording.
Intrepid
For Alan, my youngest son
Intrepid was the name given to Apollo twelve's Luna Module, named after the valiant efforts and sacrifice taken by so many people to reach the moon. Alan your bravery to accept and learn from the loss and sorrow that has marred your life astonished me. Your efforts to help save Rachel's parents when your life was in danger showed the foundations of your character, your courage. Alan your mother had the same sprit that I see in you. Seeing you shows me that not all of her is lost and that inspires me to develop the same bravery so that one day I can be the father you deserve.
Alan I love you and I always have, Dad.
Alan Tracy sat in disbelief, and re-read the card again; he truly never believed his father could ever love him because he had caused the death of his mother. Alan had felt the resentment from his father everyday of his life, and the guilt he carried over his mother's death had influenced every aspect of his life. It was the broken bridge between he and his dad, and both were too hurt to very try and rebuild it, or so he believed. Alan had barely ever heard his father speak of his mother to him apart from in an odd argument; he knew it hurt his father too much. Around his father in the past few years, Alan had also tried to hide his trademark resemblances to his mom. His blond hair was often covered with a hat or he had his sunglasses on; or mostly he just avoided meeting his father's eyes. The blond sat still in the dull light of his bedroom at the Barton residence; he looked up with guilt and regret ruling his emotions.
"What have I done?"
Alan suddenly was overwhelmed by emotions, the hurt of Rachel's death and having to suffer alone, the guilt of causing his family so much trouble by running away, and the string of broken promises he had made. Alan hurt, he wished he could cry and release the pain, but he couldn't get any release as they wouldn't fall. The last time he had cried he was being torn out of Rachel's arms by his father at the airport, which had been the last time he had ever seen her; that was over a decade ago.
The expensive watch sparkled in the light from the lamp on the bedside table; Alan was in a desperate need from the relief from his emotions. The usual trick may help Alan thought, but he wasn't sure if he could trust himself not to go see his father after doing it.
The blond waited a while before he placed the watch on his wrist and grabbed the card and then headed for the door. The silver Mercedes drove at speed out of the gates and on to the small secluded country roads. Alan looked down again at his wrist, before dialling a number of his cell phone.
Jeff Tracy sat waiting for his second youngest to return but he made sure there was only coffee in the cup before him, not anything stronger.
"Nice night?" Gordon Tracy had attempted to creep in and to go to bed without an interrogation about the nights events; he failed when he heard his father speak from the kitchen.
"Yeah, its was nice. Alan seemed okay… really good actually." Gordon was uncertain what details to reveal or not, he didn't want to upset his father.
"Good. I'm glad he's okay." Jeff took Gordon's unusually calm demeanour as a sign he felt guilty.
"Gordon Alan's issues are with me not you, I'm glad he wants to see you again." Jeff pointed to the adjacent chair that Gordon pulled out from under the table.
Gordon sat in silence for a moment before continuing, he felt his father deserved to know something of his son's new life.
"He seemed a lot more comfortable than before, maybe it is because he has no big brothers being over powering or something, I don't know. He seemed to have loads of energy, though I expected him to be shattered seen as though he has been so busy lately. He was really chatty and open, we talked about racing, the WASPS, girls."
Gordon smiled at the last bit, and Jeff rolled his eyes and decided it was best he didn't know about that.
"Did he go back to Barton's house?" Jeff knew the answer.
"He said he was going…err…well… home after he saw Ben James. Dad I'm sorry, I did say he could come home with me if he wanted too." Gordon felt for his father. Gordon remembered how Jeff couldn't cope around Alan when he was younger, and only now was Jeff realising how much of Alan's life he had missed.
The two sat for a long time in silence, both deep in thought.
"Go on get to bed." Jeff smirked as Gordon yawned loudly breaking the silence; Gordon nodded at his fathers directions and got up from the chair, but he turned back as his father spoke.
"Gordon I sent Alan his watch for his eighteenth birthday yesterday, he didn't happen to be wearing it did he?" Gordon saw a glimpse of hope in his father face, before it diminished by his answer.
"No, but…" Gordon started but this father cut him off with his hand in the air.
"It's alright Gordon, you don't have to explain." Jeff looked disappointed.
"Night dad." Gordon felt terrible; he was stuck in the middle.
As Gordon's shoes sounded against the marble stairs, the swimmer thought of his own watch and the details on his card. His watch had Aquarius engraved on it, and his letter had enclosed information that Aquarius is a constellation of the night sky, and was a life capsule for Apollo 13 crew. His letter had personal details related to Gordon about how his passion continued for the sea and water despite the damage it had caused him was admirable. His father commented on how his attitude and positive thinking was infectious and irreplaceable, and it made him smile everyday. Gordon smiled at the happy feelings he had every time he saw his watch, as he opened the door to his own bedroom and began to undress for bed. He truly hoped his father had opened up to Alan in his card about how he really felt.
After a long period of sitting in silence, Jeff moved his coffee cup to the sink and then turned to look out at the darkened gardens and pool that surrounded the house. Jeff felt he now had no hope left with Alan, he had lost his son and what was worse, lost him to Barton. As he went to leave the kitchen his cell phone rang on the wooden table, Jeff looked at the object before reluctantly answering it.
"Hello." Jeff was stunned by the voice he heard, and the emotion in it.
"Hi, it's Alan." It was said in distress, and panic.
"Alan!" Taking in Alan's voice Jeff continued. "Are you okay?" A troubled expression hung on his features.
"…I just needed to tell you that I didn't mean some of the things I did…I'm sorry. I didn't think you would forgive me. " Alan sentence was broken and regret and confusion was in every word.
"Alan it's alright, calm down. There's nothing I couldn't forgive you for." Jeff was concerned for Alan's distressed tone especially as he could hear an engine noise in the background.
"Are you driving? Just tell me where you are Alan I'll come and meet you."
"I'm on Victoria road …. I was coming to see you but Richard said I shouldn't and then…What the hell?" Alan never finished his sentence, and Jeff only heard the crunch of metal and a loud bang before the line when dead.
"Alan…" Jeff spoke, but only heard a monotone as a reply. Jeff ran from the house and sped down the gravel path in his own car desperate to find his son.
Alan Tracy lay slumped on the airbag steering wheel of the Mercedes the interior was filling with smoke from the fire, but he was not aware of it. As the blond breathed in more smoke the blood poured down his face onto his white shirt cuff, missing from under his shirt though was a white diamond watch.