A/N - As always, many, many thanks to honus47 for being my beta and my friend!

A/N2 - Okay, so this has totally gone AU, but hope you still enjoy!

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Chapter 6

Deeks stood on the dock and watched as the sky lightened. His ribs were still a little sore but not bothering him as much as they could have been and he was looking forward to getting out on the water and getting in some surfing. Being out on the water always calmed him and he did his best thinking there. Lord knew he needed to do some serious thinking. He needed to figure out what he was going to do with his future and he needed to think about what he'd already done. He wasn't as sure that he'd done the right thing, now that he'd had time to put some distance between him and Kensi, as he had been at that moment. He had a feeling he might have made a huge mistake. He sighed as he also knew that he'd be trapped alone with Ruben and the man could be relentless when he wanted something. And what he wanted was to know everything that had happened to send Deeks running to him.

He turned to walk up the ramp with his longboard but found it too awkward. Ruben reached over the side and held his hands out, so he handed it up to him and the older man made a show of huffing and puffing as he pulled it up. Deeks grinned up at him and opened his mouth to say something snarky about his old friend losing a step, when he heard a bark. Turning, he smiled as he watched Clarinda making her way towards them with Monty straining at his leash. When they reached him, he kneeled down and accepted the dog's kisses, rubbing him behind the ears where he knew the dog loved it. He looked up at Clarinda and said. "You're up early. You didn't need to get up to see us off. I hope I didn't wake you?"

She smiled and replied. "No, not at all. I'm up with the sun most days. And I wanted to give you this." He stood up and she handed him the basket he hadn't noticed her carrying. Opening it, he was pleased to see it full of goodies. His stomach rumbled and he heard her laugh. He looked back at her and grinned.

"Thank you Clarinda, this is very kind of you! I have to admit I was really worried that I'd have to get by on Ruben's cooking."

Ruben landed on the dock next to them and punched him in the shoulder. "I'll have you know I'm an excellent cook!"

Deeks rubbed the spot and rolled his eyes at Clarinda. "Yeah, I've been the recipient of some of that cooking. I think I'd rather starve."

"I've improved since I retired."

"Uh huh."

Ruben took the basket and poked his own nose into it. He made a hum of approval as he saw some of his favorite muffins and some cookies tucked into the corner, along with some wrapped items that he hoped would yield something good for dinner. He looked up and caught Clarinda staring at him and he felt like the world stopped and the two of them were the only ones on the dock. She blinked and the moment was gone. He cleared his throat and said. "We should probably get a move on. Is everything you want to take on board Marty?"

Deeks nodded and turned back to Clarinda. "Thank you again for taking care of Monty while I'm gone. I really appreciate it."

She smiled at him and put a hand on Monty's back. "It's no problem. He's great."

Deeks looked down and said. "You hear that Monty? You have a fan. You be good for her, you hear?" The dog woofed and sat down, leaning into her legs. He was used to his person being gone for days at a time and this was a pretty good place for him to hang out while he waited for him to return. The two men headed up the ramp onto the boat, Ruben pulling it up behind them as Deeks moved to untie the ropes holding them to the dock. When he undid the last one, he waved goodbye and Ruben started the engines. He carefully pulled the boat away and pointed it towards the open sea.

Clarinda and Monty stood on the dock and waved them goodbye until they disappeared around the edge of the sheltered bay. She looked down at the dog who looked back up and said. "It's just you and me for a few days boy. What say we go back to the house and get something to eat?" Monty showed his approval of that when he stood up and started back up the dock towards the B&B. She laughed and followed him, feeling a little lonely with the empty berth behind her. Ruben, and now Marty, had filled her life with happiness and she hadn't realized until they were gone, how much she had come to count on that.

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Sam pulled up in front of Callen's house at first light to find his partner and best friend already waiting. The man threw his duffle into the back and slid into the passenger seat. The two stared at each other for a moment and then Sam turned back to the front to put the car in gear. He pulled away from the house and headed for the U.S./Mexico border. He finally spoke. "We're just two guys heading into Tijuana for a couple days of R&R."

"Yup." Callen paused for a minute. "Are we doing the right thing here Sam? What if he doesn't want to come back? It was his decision to leave. Do we have the right to question that?"

"Yes, we're doing the right thing. He didn't have all the information he needed to make an informed decision. He needs to come back and talk to her. If he still thinks he's done with us, then we know we did everything possible to keep the team together."

Callen mentioned the elephant in the car. "The team may not be together anyway if Kensi doesn't get the use of her legs back."

"She will! I have every confidence that this is only temporary and the whole team will be back, stronger than ever. I refuse to entertain any other outcome."

"That might be a bit optimistic Sam."

"As opposed to?"

"Reality."

"Why shouldn't my version of things be reality? There's no reason why it can't be!" Sam said fiercely.

"Okay, okay, I get it. Let's just get there and try to talk some sense into our AWOL Liaison."

"I'm afraid he might have burned his bridges with LAPD, G. I think it's time for him to take the next logical step."

"Agent?"

"Yeah. Don't you agree?"

"Actually, yes I do. In fact, I think it's past time he did so." Callen looked out the window. "You know, Hetty offered him the paperwork to apply to be an agent years ago, signed, sealed and delivered, just before she went to Prague. He turned her down flat, saying being a cop was more than what he did; it was what he was. She told me about it when I visited her during her recovery. That's what makes him leaving LAPD so shocking."

"She did that?" Sam was stunned. He remembered back then, his feelings about Deeks being a light weight, worried that he'd be a detriment to the team. He'd been surprised when the ex-lawyer turned cop had broken all kinds of laws to follow them as they went after Hetty. He'd shown his mettle more than once but it had taken him being tortured by those crazy Russians, trying to get information on Michelle, and his not giving in, that had finally opened his eyes. He wondered if his attitude would have been different if Deeks had taken that opportunity to become an agent. A small part of him worried that he wouldn't have changed his mind even then. That was something he would never be able to forgive himself for.

There was silence in the car as each man thought about the past and what the future might hold. They passed through the border with no problems and headed towards El Rosario, following the map Eric and Nell had provided them. A little under seven hours later, Sam pulled the Challenger into the marina and both sat and stared at the empty berth where My Turn was supposed to be docked. There were no other boats docked anywhere in sight but Kip's truck was parked in the lot. Callen sighed and looked at Sam. "Looks like we wait."

"There's no reason to think he's out on the boat with Hernandez. He might be somewhere else in town. Let's take a look around."

Sam parked the car beside the truck Deeks was using and they both got out, stretching the kinks out of their backs and legs. By unspoken agreement, they began to walk the waterfront, watching for the messy blonde hair of the man they'd come to find. With no sign of him, they began to walk into town. Sam stopped to watch a pickup basketball game between some kids and remembered all the times the team had played in the gym, Deeks constantly surprising him with his natural athleticism. The boys noticed his attention and stopped playing, watching the big man and his companion warily.

Callen decided it was time to start asking if anyone had seen Deeks and he walked towards the boys. A boy who looked older than the rest, stepped forward, pushing a much smaller one behind him for protection. "What do you two want?"

"I'm hoping that you can help us. We're looking for someone who's supposed to be here." He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his pictures, finding a good one of Deeks. He turned the phone towards the boy and said. "This is him." The boy barely glanced at it before shaking his head.

"Never seen him before. What'd he do that you're looking for him?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. We just wanted to catch up with him. See how he's doing."

"Well, we've never seen that gringo around here so why don't you just move on before we make you?" The boy stuck his chest out, causing Sam to smile.

"We aren't looking for any trouble, just trying to find this man. If you haven't seen him, then we'll move along. Why don't you actually look at the picture this time and tell me again that you haven't seen him." He motioned to Callen to hold out the phone once more.

The smaller boy pushed forward, his curiosity piqued as he tried to see the picture on the phone. Callen tilted it down a little so the boy could see it. He scrunched his face up and asked. "Why do you have a picture of Marty on your phone?"

"Diego!" Snapped the older boy. "Keep your mouth shut!"

Diego blushed and shrank back, realizing he shouldn't have said anything to these strangers. Worried that he might have put the man who'd been so kind to him in some kind of danger. Sam put his hand up and said. "Look, he's not in any trouble! He's a friend of ours and we're worried about him. We just wanted to find him and make sure he's okay. My name's Sam and this is Grisha." He held out his hand to the bigger boy who appeared to be the leader of this little group. He looked at it and then back at Sam, trying to gauge the truth of his words.

Finally making up his mind, he took the hand and shook it. "Patricio."

"Patricio, why did you say you didn't know him?" Callen asked, holding out his own hand. The boy took it as well and shook it hard.

"Marty is our friend too. If you mean him harm, you'll have to deal with us." He puffed up again.

Callen shook his head and looked at Sam. "He's been here what, a day and a half?"

Sam shrugged. "It's Deeks." Turning to Patricio he asked. "Do you know where he is?"

"Yes, he's staying with Miss. Clarinda."

"Miss. Clarinda?" Sam frowned and looked at Callen who looked just as surprised at the information that their missing friend was staying with another woman.

"Yeah, she runs the B&B and he's staying there."

"Ah, okay, well, can you point us in the right direction?"

"Sure, follow this street to the next intersection and take a left. The house is at the end, right on the waterfront."

"Thank you Patricio. We really appreciate it." Sam held his hand out again and the boy took it more readily this time. They turned to walk the direction they'd been pointed in and had gotten a few yards away when the boy called out to him.

"It won't do you any good. He's not there. He and Ruben went out on the boat this morning and it looked like they took enough supplies to be gone for a few days."

"Damn it, so close." Callen muttered.

Sam sighed. "Well, let's go to the B&B anyway, maybe this Miss. Clarinda has some information for us and besides, we have to stay somewhere while we wait. I'm not going to sleep in the car. Hopefully, she'll have a couple rooms we can rent." The two men followed the boy's directions and stopped in front of the pretty little house that had a sign out front marking it as the B&B they were looking for.

"Nice little place, right on the water. Just what Deeks would have sought out." Callen said.

"Yeah, let's see if she has any more rooms." They walked in to find a pretty older woman waiting for them, her arms folded across her chest. Somehow, it felt like she was waiting for them and knew exactly what they wanted. Sam wondered if the boys had called ahead and warned her.

"Gentleman. Can I help you?"

Sam pulled out his best smile and held out his hand. "Yes, we're hoping you might have two rooms available?"

The woman didn't return his smile and looked at his hand like it was going to bite her. "I'm sorry. We're fully booked right now."

The two agents exchanged looks, knowing this was a lie. There were no cars out front and the place had an empty feeling about it. Sam opened his mouth to call her on it when a blur raced past her and ran straight into Sam's legs. He looked down in the laughing face of Deeks's mutt and grinned. He reached down and ruffled the dog's ears. "Monty! Good to see you boy! How ya' doing?"

The dog thumped his tail hard on the floor, wriggling around for all he was worth. For some reason that no one could fathom, the dog had become attached to the big man who had wanted no part of him. He'd wormed his way into Sam's affections, kind of like his owner. He looked up from the dog to see the woman's face had softened. "You know Monty?"

"Yeah, he belongs to a good friend of ours. We're here trying to find him."

Her face closed up again. "Why?"

"He left L.A. somewhat unexpectedly and didn't even say goodbye. We know why he left and we're here to try to talk some sense into him. If we can't, then we at least want to be able to make sure he's okay and say a proper goodbye." Callen responded.

She looked at both of them, still not sure she could trust them and Callen had another thought. He pulled his phone out again and scrolled through the pictures, finally finding the one he wanted. It was a group shot of them in the gym, their arms around each other after a basketball game and showing a big grin on Deeks's face. He held the phone out to her. "Please, he really is our friend and we mean him no harm."

Clarinda looked at the picture and saw a happiness on her new friend's face she hadn't seen once since she'd met him. She looked back at the two men and smiled for the first time. "I guess if Monty vouches for you, I might just have two rooms available if you're still interested. You might have a long wait. He and Ruben headed out on the boat at sunrise and they don't plan on being back for a few days."

Sam shrugged. "Then I guess we'll just have to wait. I'm sure it won't be a hardship in a pretty little place like this, with such a lovely hostess." Clarinda raised an eyebrow, recognizing flattery when she heard it. Sam tilted his head a little and the two of them started to laugh.

"Come on, let's get you checked in." They signed the paperwork and told her they'd be back with their car and belongings. They walked quickly back to where the car was parked and got in.

Before starting the car, Sam looked at Callen. "I'm thinking now would be a good time to check in with the office."

Nodding, Callen pulled his phone out once again and hit speed dial for ops. "Callen? Did you find him? Is he okay? Are you bringing him home?" Eric's voice came stridently over the phone.

"Yes, Eric, we found him but we don't know if he's okay. We haven't had the chance to talk to him yet."

"What? Why not?"

"He's out on the boat with Hernandez. We've been told they left this morning and that they're not expected back for a couple days. We're staying at the same B&B as him so we'll see him as soon as he gets back."

"Oh. Well. That's disappointing. I guess we should have been monitoring the marina more closely, not that we could stop him leaving from here."

"Don't worry about it Eric, we still would have come. Listen, how's Kensi?"

"Hetty just got back from visiting her. No change. Still no feeling or movement in her legs. She's been asking what we're doing to find Deeks."

"Damn. Well, don't get her hopes up yet. Just because we found him, doesn't mean we'll be bringing him back. He can be a stubborn SOB you know."

"Oh yeah, I know. Look, when you see him, please let him know Nell and I miss him, that everyone here misses him. I've had people coming up to me all day asking if it was true that he'd left NCIS. Nell too. They're all so disappointed when we tell them it's true."

"Will do. I'll check in every day to see how things are going back there. You'll be the first to know when we finally get to see Deeks face to face."

"Ok, be safe."

"Always." Callen ended the call and looked at Sam. "Apparently the whole building is waiting for us to bring him back."

Sam hmmphed. "Well, let's not disappoint them." He started the car and headed towards the B&B. He parked and they brought their things in, settling in to wait.

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Deeks stood on deck and watched the sun begin to set. He was pleasantly tired from surfing all day. Ruben had fished and caught exactly nothing. He was glad Clarinda had laid on some food for them. The Ole Polenta Casserole had been as delicious as the other food she had fed him and had travelled well. Ruben had heated it up in the boat's tiny oven and they had both made a huge dent in it. Now he sipped at his tequila and waited for Ruben, who was in the small kitchen cleaning up after their meal. He'd offered to help but the man had waved him away, saying he knew how everything worked and where it went. Not that there was much in the way of dirty dishes. He heard footsteps behind him and picked up the bottle to pour a goodly amount into another glass for his friend. Turning, he handed it to him.

Ruben grinned his thanks and took a healthy swallow. "Now that hits the spot. Nothing like a nice tequila after a good meal." He reached out and clinked his glass against Deeks's. They grinned at each other and both took another sip.

Deeks said. "It was a good day. I needed that. Nothing like being out on the water to clear a man's head." As soon as he said it, he wished he could call it back. Talk about giving Ruben an opening. He didn't have long to wait as Ruben immediately pounced.

"You want to talk about it?"

Deeks turned his back to Ruben and looked out over the water again. "Not really."

"I know you Marty, you need to talk this out. Tell me what the hell happened! Like I said before, you were so happy the last time I talked to you and then you show up on my doorstep, looking like you lost your best friend."

"I did."

Ruben's mouth dropped open and he gasped. "Kensi? Is she…"

Deeks interrupted him. "No, no. She's still alive but….she was hurt badly in an accident and may never walk again."

"Oh my God." The words sunk in. "Wait, what the hell are you doing here then? Why aren't you back in L.A. with her?"

"She didn't want me."

"What do you mean she didn't want you?"

Deeks knocked back the rest of his tequila, feeling it burn down his throat and explode in his stomach. He really didn't want to go over this again. He'd relived the scene over and over in his head all day while he'd been out on the water and was no closer to determining if he'd made the correct decision nor what to do with the rest of his life. "Do we need to do this now?"

"Now or later, what difference does it make?"

"Fine! I asked her to marry me and she said no. Told me she didn't love me anymore and hadn't for a long time." He replied baldly.

"I find that hard to believe. You're usually pretty perceptive. Did you notice any change in her demeanor towards you?"

"No, but she said she was having a hard time figuring out how to tell me."

"When was the last time she said she loved you?"

Deeks thought about it and then frowned. "Right before we got on the chopper."

"Why would she do that if she didn't love you anymore?"

"I can't pretend to know what she was thinking. I can only tell you what she said to me!"

"But that's not all, is it? I know you Marty, you wouldn't walk away just because she said she didn't love you anymore, so there had to be more than that."

"There was."

Ruben waited and, when nothing more was forthcoming, he prodded. "And…?"

Deeks hugged his arms around his middle. With no inflection in his voice, he replied. "She told me it was my fault she was hurt. My fault that she may never walk again, never do the things she loves. She called me the stupid cop that she'd been stuck babysitting and that she wouldn't have been there if not for me. She wouldn't have been hurt."

There was silence between them as Deeks heard the words float out over the water, bringing the pain again. Behind him, Ruben said quietly. "When are you going to stop letting him ruin your life?"

He stiffened and replied. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't hand me that bull, mijo! There are too many late night stakeouts and too many bottles of tequila between us for you to pull that on me! You know exactly what and who I'm talking about."

Trying to deflect his friend away from this topic of conversation, Deeks asked, still keeping his back turned. "Why do you sometimes call me mijo?"

"What?"

"Why do you call me sonny sometimes? Is it a dig?"

"You really don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"Mijo can also mean 'my son'. You're the closest thing to a son I'll ever have." He paused. Trying to lighten the mood a little he added. "At least none that I know of."

Deeks turned around, his mouth slightly open. He searched Ruben's eyes and found only truth and love. His chin quivered a little. "She hurt me, Ruben. No one has hurt me like that for a really long time."

"You let your guard down with her. You fell in love. It's a chance we mere mortals take each time it happens."

"I really thought she loved me back. That I was her whole world, just like she was mine."

Ruben tilted his head. "Are you so sure she doesn't?"

"I told you what she said to me!"

"Yes, and I also know what the man who called himself your father did to you. You were always to blame for everything that happened, it was never his fault that he beat you or your mom. You need to get past that and look at what the situation says."

"What mumbo jumbo are you spouting off about?"

"I'm assuming Kensi knows at least a little bit about your childhood?"

"Probably more than anyone, other than you and Kip."

"So, do you think maybe she might have used that against you if she thought she was sparing you from having to take care of her for the rest of her, and your, life?"

"I thought about that and I said pretty much the same thing. She said I was making it all about me, that I was self-centered and conceited."

"Well, I have to give her credit. She sure knows what buttons to push." Ruben said softly as he shook his head.

"Buttons?" He paused and looked at his friend. "You really think she did this deliberately?"

"I don't know for sure. I don't know her. For all I know, she meant exactly what she said. But, you'll never know, will you? You left and came here."

Deeks sighed. "I did more than that. Much more." He poured himself another shot of tequila.

Ruben looked at him and frowned. "What did you do mijo?"

Looking everywhere but at Ruben, Deeks said. "I quit the force and gave up my place. I thought my team might come looking for me so I crossed the border under an assumed name. I gave a different fake name to Clarinda to book me under." He once again tipped the glass back and swallowed it whole.

"Your team is that good?"

"You have no idea."

Reaching for the bottle where Deeks had left it, Ruben poured himself another glass, not even remembering finishing off the last one. "Well, whatever happens, I'm glad you came to me. I'll support you no matter what you do. You can always find work down here somewhere, stick around El Rosario with me. We could get up to no good whenever we wanted!" He paused again. "But, I think you know in your heart what you need to do. You need to go back and face her. Tell her what her words, her actions, did to you."

"Oh, I think she knows."

"Are you willing to spend the rest of your life wondering about what might have been? Would it be so hard to just go back and find out? Do you want to live the rest of your life with regrets? Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're not the only one to have ever fallen in love and been hurt. I had someone special in my life at one time, long before I met you. I wanted to have a life with her, a family. I asked her to marry me but she said no. She loved me but didn't want me to be a cop. She didn't want to worry that every day I went through the door, it would be the last time she ever saw me. I refused to listen, I refused to try to find some way to work things out. Words were said, nasty words, and I stormed out. A few weeks later, I decided I couldn't live without her and would be willing to work out a compromise, find some common ground, but she was gone. She'd moved back home to Idaho and I never saw her again. I kept track of her for a while until I found out she'd met someone else and married him. The last I heard, she had three kids and a granddaughter. Don't let that happen to you, mijo. Give it one last try, nothing ventured, nothing gained. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. At least you'll know you tried."

Deeks was surprised. He'd never heard about this woman and had never known that his friend had come to close to the whole white picket fence and 2.5 children. He wondered if that was why he was not actively pursuing Clarinda. He raised an eyebrow. "Like you're trying with a certain B&B widow?"

Ruben's mouth dropped open and he sputtered. "Clarinda? We're just friends. I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Yeah, sure you don't. I've seen the way you look at her, like you want to sweep her off her feet and take her to a deserted island somewhere, where you can have her all to yourself."

Ruben did his best impression of a fish out of water, seemingly not being able to come up with a witty comeback. "It's not like that."

Deeks had to laugh. He hadn't wanted to tell Ruben what had happened, but now he was glad he had. He still wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he felt lighter for it. He reached out and took the bottle back from his friend and poured himself another shot. He held up the glass and clinked it against Ruben's. "Here's to no good!" They proceeded to finish off the bottle and more confidences were exchanged, Ruben finally admitting that he had feelings for the widow and Deeks admitting that he might have made a mistake by reacting without thinking. They ended up falling into a maudlin mood until Ruben started to sing. Deeks joined in, the two of them making a surprisingly good duet. Eventually the bottle was empty and both men were gently snoring on the open deck. Something they would both regret in the morning.

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