Merlin, she wouldn't put it past them.
And it would be so easy for them to arrange it all. Ginny worked flexible hours, it would be too easy for Ginny to arrange it so that she didn't have any appointments to get in the way of her being at Diagon Alley at a pre-approved time.
It would be much easier for Ginny, than for anyone else.
And not only because she had a more 'tolerable' schedule. Ginny had this knack of being able to find someone, Hermione had more than once compared it to how Bill always seemed to know exactly where Hermione was 'attempting' to hide out. The Weasleys had quickly learnt that if they wanted to find Hermione, they either had to send Bill, or Ginny.
And as Bill wasn't officially back in the United Kingdom yet, he would have only had enough time to see Charlie and anyone at Hogwarts, in particular Hagrid, that only left Ginny.
Damn it.
It just made her even more nervous about attending this Weasley Gathering. If the younger Weasleys felt that they had to go as far as sending Ginny after her, then…
The tapping of glass cut into those thoughts, sending them neatly back into little boxes where her mind would be able to find them again to use against her. And while Hermione certainly wasn't annoyed at being given some reprieve, it didn't mean that whatever was responsible for interrupting her would be any better.
Proven by the fact that when she looked out her window, she was confronted with the sight of two black and white owls.
Ah Hell.
It would be hard to ever miss those two owls, known collectively as Four and Twenty Blackbirds Baked in a Pie. One was thoughtfully called Four Blackbirds Baked in a Pie, and the other Twenty Blackbirds Baked in a Pie.
When Hermione had been told what the twins and Lee had decided to call their two owls, she had made a vow to never tell a Weasley a Muggle rhyme again. In particular, the twins and Lee.
At least with Brian she could hex him with the minimum amount of fuss. If Brian tried to protest, Charlie was prone to simply tell him that Brian deserved it.
She didn't get that same kind of understanding when it concerned Fred, George and Lee. Even when she argued that the three deserved it.
Or that, even if she did get the funny side of it all, it didn't mean that the three could then start bugging her for more Muggle stories and rhymes so that they could name other creatures in their care strange titles. The short-lived White Rabbit came all too easily to mind.
But Hermione had also vowed that she never wanted to ever see Four and Twenty Blackbirds again, not after what had happened the last time she had been 'visited' by the two owls. Those three had sworn that it was just a bit of fun, and at least it had made her laugh; Val had told them so over the phone when Charlie had called the bookshop the next day.
But Hermione hadn't seen it the same way.
It may have started as a bit of harmless fun, and it wouldn't have seemed to cause any trouble, but when she was at work wasn't the time for the three to prank her. All Hermione had been trying to do was push Four and Twenty Blackbirds, the shorter and easier name for the two owls, out of the front door, when her fingers had accidentally touched one of the owls.
And the effect had ben instantaneous. Her hair had all of a sudden turned black, curling into a high bun with blood red roses, thankfully without thorns, wrapped around it.
But Hermione had barely been able to admire herself, when the roses had started shooting sparks, with each ball of light turning into a petal that fell slowly to the ground around her. It was at that point that Val had Transfigured an object into a mirror to show Hermione what she looked like.
And Hermione had had to admit that at that point, it had made her smile.
She hadn't been able to stop herself from giving a little grin. And a few moments of laughter.
But it had all gone downhill moments later, when the very important client, who had been in the shop before the two owls had appeared, had started his very unmanly shouting. All Hermione could tell during those first few moments of yells was that the client wasn't impressed, until finally he seemed to make sense and Hermione learnt…
Hermione realised that the reason why the important client didn't see the funny side was because he had lost his only son very recently, and that he had surrounded his son's grave with rose bushes.
He had stormed out moments later.
But Val hadn't seen it as a great loss. She had thought that the entire incident was hilarious. And she hadn't cared that the famous wizard, who was a renowned collector of exotic information, had vowed to never come back to the shop again.
Val had replied, once the front door had slammed shut, that the wizard obviously needed to get a sense of humour. And then Val had given her that grin, and had asked Hermione did she know exactly which Weasley was responsible for this?
Val hadn't gotten to the point of being able to recognise every single one of the Weasley owls yet, or which one belonged to which yet.
Hermione had made sure to give Val their full names, if Val wanted to let herself get mixed with the twins and Lee then let her, their exact address of the shop, as some people still hadn't figured it out other than vague directions between Flortescue's and Flourish and Blott's, and volunteered to let Val use her own owl so that any letters were certain to reach them. No one just skirted around the edges when it concerned the owners of Triple Double V's, and Val would undoubtedly find that out the hard way.
But Val had just laughed, misinterpreting Hermione's intentions and said that she hadn't wanted to date any of the three. She hadn't then and probably still didn't know about the truth of the relationship between George and Lee. Fred was the only single one.
All Val said she wanted, was that that she wanted to pass on to those three that she was interested in purchasing some prank materials from them; to liven up a few future events. And that she wanted Hermione to go with her.
Hermione had flat out refused.
She had told Val to go by herself.
And passed on the address, but wouldn't go any further. And as far as Hermione knew, that had ended it.
She had never heard from Fred, George and Lee about Val stopping by.
Loud hoots from outside of the window to indicate that Four and Twenty Blackbirds were not pleased about being ignored. Like owners, like owls, as Hermione had always insisted.
'Don't give me that,' Hermione muttered, eyeing the two owls. 'I am not stupid.'
Four and Twenty Blackbirds gave another round of hoots before swooping away, taking a perch on the small, and nearly unusable empty window box, the flowers that had been growing in it had died two months ago and Hermione had forgotten to replace them with new ones, just outside the window. They swivelled their head back and forth, one of them always remembering to keep an eye on her as the other one fluffed its feathers.
'Oh,' Hermione said, 'and you think I can trust you?'
Those owls were always talking back. It was quite easy to interpret their movements for answers, just had to know what to look for.
And Hermione knew that those owls were just like their owners.
Another hoot.
Hermione sighed.
Blast!
The stupid owl was right. She didn't have enough time to throw every counter-curse she could think of the two owls to try and see exactly what spell the twins and Lee had put on them this time. She would just have to risk it.
And besides, how much longer did she want to keep this conversation going, especially when the last time Robert had walked in on her conversing with the two owls, she had received strange looks? Robert viewed it all as Hermione talking about her own problems, but had informed Hermione that he would rather if she spoke of all of this with another human being, instead of two owls.
Hermione hadn't been exactly sure how to respond to that, as Robert hadn't been there when the only creatures to bond with were the owl, or creature that was also forced to remain in a confined area. All Fighters had to have a creature with them that could carry a small written message with them, just in case. For Hermione it had been a small, white owl, Harry had sworn blind that it was a midget form of his own Hedwig, that could fit in her cloak pocket, and she had grown to speaking to it, telling Howler, Lee had named it, all of her worries and problems.
It was comforting, and eased some of her troubles during those harsher, lonelier days.
But Robert wouldn't understand that, and so Hermione had given a little shrug in response.
Bt it wasn't giving her the same satisfaction at the moment, and she needed to get rid of the two owls as soon as possible. And so with a flick of her hand, the window screeched open, allowing the two owls to fly in, doing their usual circuit around the room before each one settling on the owl perch. And without waiting for the signal, both owls held out their legs holding the letter.
Hermione sighed.
Why did she keep allowing herself into these situations? She had already done her penance for the day. She had had that conversation with Ginny, lost it in front of her best friend, ending up crying in front of Ginny. All of that was just going to end up with her on the receiving end of yet another Talk from the other Weasleys. And she had agreed to be at the Weasley Gathering from the day it began, something she had always made sure that she never did.
It was always easier for the rest of the Weasleys to coerce her into staying longer if they had her from the first day.
And now this.
She had allowed Four and Twenty Blackbirds into her living room, forcing herself into having to read what the letters said. She couldn't throw it away, the owls would report it back to the twins and Lee if she did.
Damn.
Damn.
Damn.
With a sigh, Hermione walked over to the owls, untying the parchment around one of the owl's legs before scooting back. She needed her space, especially from the owls as the creatures had a habit of taking note of every reaction she had to the letter she was reading. And she knew that somehow, the owls would relay this back to the twins and Lee.
Hermione didn't need to give the Weasleys more ammo against her.
And so she pulled off the polka-dot string, un-scrolled the parchment before raising it to her eyes. She made sure that it completely covered her face so that at least she had a better chance of keeping her immediate emotions from the owls. But that was going to be hard, as the first words that met her brown eyes were these:
-…Ginny is completely against the entire idea. Even with the offering of several 'Immunities', our dear little sister seems to believe that it wouldn't be in her best interest to 'help' us in our latest endeavour…-
Wrong one to begin with, obviously. And this one was all too easily recognisable as Fred's handwriting, which meant…
Damn.
That meant she only had half a chance that Lee had written the first third of the letter, usually what turned out to be the most important part of the entire long-winded explanation. The three had to be different in as many ways as possible, and something as simple as writing a letter was one of them.
Any letter the three wrote was always divided up between them.
This always meant that Hermione had to pray to what ever Deity or Deity Up There that most of the letter was either written by Fred, or Lee. George had this gift of such an unruly script that she rarely managed to understand without a little help of a Headache Cure and something soothing, such as hot chocolate or comfort food. It would have been thought that after all those years at Hogwarts, and with untold number of professors forced to read through his essays, that at least George would have learnt to make his handwriting legible.
But it wasn't to be.
Somehow, George had managed to fall through the cracks. He still wrote as though he was six years old, learning exactly how tall each letter should be, where there were silent letters within a word and how to make sure that his sentences made sense.
At least he had been forced to always read his part of the letters out loud.
The only reprieve she could hope for was that George's handwriting became so bad that Lee and Fred were forced to interfere; that the two had taken over George's part of the letter. But it was a very small chance, as it would take George's script to become particularly ineligible for the two to admit that no one else would be able to admit it.
And Hermione doubted that it would be one of those times.
Hermione carefully approached the owls again, untying the other parchment from the second owl before inching the bowl of water closer to the two owls. One of them gave her the softest of hoots before the two dipped their beaks into the water bowl, and hopefully ignoring her.
Hermione sank into the sofa, placing the second half of the letter next to her before carefully smoothing out what she hoped was the beginning, and sighing.
Someone truly Up There, hated her. Really, really hated her.
But she couldn't let that show, because the owls were watching. All she could do was hide her face and hope that her sighs didn't become too loud.
She had to pretend that this was just another letter, so that no one got any pleasure from this entire incident. She had to read this as if the writers weren't wizards who would on purpose add sparks that made her skin go strange colours or force her to wear the clothes she slept in, a tank top and loose cotton pants, for three days straight.
She just had to fool herself into thinking that none of that was a possibility for her, even though she knew she was lying to herself. The twins and Lee were never going to grow up, or start acting their ages.
No one would be able to stop them from acting immature, and neither would any solemn event.
Such as a wedding.
Or a proposal.
Proof of the mess the three caused when Charlie finally got enough courage to propose to his Partner, Brian. Charlie had even gone as far as to inform several of the younger Weasleys beforehand, he had needed their help in order to make the entire night magical, should have meant that nothing had gone wrong. But Fred, George and Lee had seen it otherwise.
They had decided to add their own flair to the evening.
The fact that no one else seemed to be angry as she was didn't count. The three had no right to force their own imprint onto the night.
No right at all.
And they certainly should have endured a harsher punishment, especially after the three had tried to protest that they couldn't allow such a 'perfect opportunity' be wasted.
Perfect opportunity.
Hermione gave a soft snort, but then a thought occurred to her.
That was what the letter might be for her, a perfect opportunity. She might be able to use this to her advantage.
If there was enough in this letter to give her ammo against the twins and Lee, then she would…
Maybe.
It might be enough to get her through the Gathering. It just might be enough.
She wouldn't leave the Weasley Gathering unscathed, but since she knew that Fred, George and Lee would be up to something… The three would be up to something; Weasley Gatherings were always perfect for their own kind of trouble.
And she had a few days in her favour, a few days before she would have to face those three. And as long as she used that time wisely, then she might be able to turn the tables and make sure the three left her alone.
And more importantly, leave the rest of the Weasleys alone.
There was something in the air, something that Ginny had hinted at when she had seen her earlier. For Merlin's sake, Ginny had begged Hermione to attend the Weasley Gathering on a Thursday instead of the usual Saturday.
Ginny had refused to explain exactly what it was, but whatever it was, it was important. And though the rest of the Weasleys always protested that Hermione was blind in the case of the twins and Lee, that she refused to believe that they had grown up in any way, even after the War, Hermione knew that the Weasley Gathering would be too much of a perfect possibility for them to miss.
Because that was how Fred, George and Lee reacted to harsh times. They had done this through the entire time they were all involved in the War, forcing laughter out of tired bodies and creatures who swore that the only time tears would spring from their eyes was when they were sad. They had always managed it, but this was different.
This Weasley Gathering needed to be handled with the softest of care, until after whatever was troubling Ginny, and Aunt Molly, was out in the open. And hopefully dealt with.
But in order for that to happen, Hermione would have to start her planning now. She had a few areas in her favour already, as the letter the twins and Lee had written to her, would be perfect in making sure that the three acted properly. The three could never stop themselves from hinting what they were up to, especially when it concerned her, and so maybe…
Maybe Hermione would be able to blackmail them.
It had worked before.
Hermione had blackmailed the three of them into good behaviour before. It may have been several years before, shortly after the War had finally ended, but Hermione knew that she could still do it.
And she could take any consequences that were thrown in her way afterwards, even if it meant that she was going to be given those disappointed looks from Bill, Ginny, Charlie and Aunt Molly.
So, the letter would nearly be a confession, enough for her hopefully to make the entire Weasley Gathering be smooth sailing. If she could counter whatever the twins and Lee were up to, then she could concentrate solely on what was worrying Ginny and Aunt Molly.
And probably those two weren't the only ones worrying.
None of them would need the twins and Lee causing more trouble.
So, that meant she needed to start, from today, to prepare herself for the experience. And, it also meant, that she would have to read the entirety of this letter. Even if it ended up giving her the worse headache she had ever had.
Because there could be some good out of all of this.
The entire time Hermione was at the Weasley Gathering, she needed to find out exactly what was going on before extracting herself. Before the twins and Lee lost control and did something stupid.
Ginny had already warned her that something was going on. Hermione needed to heed that warning, and so…
And so Hermione needed to spend precious time trying to figure out exactly what the three were up to, all from this letter.
She just wished she didn't have to, as the first part was all in George's handwriting. She could barely make out the first words, and it was only because she knew exactly how the three always started their letters to her that the first two words were Dear Babe.
Their silly little nickname that only those three called her. Between the three of them they had a list of sweet nothings they liked to term her as, but their favourite, especially when writing a letter to her, was always Babe.
Enough.
She was just wasting precious time.
Read the damn letter.
-Dear Babe,
As you have once again managed to pass an entire week without being spotted by one or more of our little minions that we have spread across Diagon Alley in particular, and no Babe, we won't tell you where they are hidden so that they may remain anonymous, we believe that this letter will help us learn about everything you have gotten up to since the last time we saw you. And as promised, we will not ask any more of the event that happened the last time we met.-
It was nice to know that something had gotten through their very thick heads. Though, that was probably down to the fact that the punishment they had received from Hermione had convinced them that it was in their best interest to never speak or even think about it again, and to make good their promise. The screaming of the other Weasleys had certainly had nothing to do with it.
But they still should have known better than to do it in the first place.
-One of our best and brightest spies will have already visited you. We are quite sure that the hair will give it all away, and as these owls have been carefully coordinated to not arrive at your place until after you return, you have by now already been awarded with the pleasure of the company of our darling sister.-
What?
They had been the ones that had sent Ginny after her? But that didn't make any sense, that meant that the twins and Lee must know what was worrying Ginny and Aunt Molly.
Unless…
-You, our dear Babe, have been avoiding all instances where any of us and might see you and so we, in our usual, cute stubborn way, we no longer accept any further refusals on your part. And, as you have already proven that you will not allow us to gently encourage you back into the family's embraces, we will do our utmost to have you included in our daily routines, even if this means that a firm hand will be needed.-
What did that mean?
Were the three hinting that there was a good reason why they needed her deep within the Weasley family again? Did they know what was worrying Ginny and Aunt Molly?
Was Aunt Molly even worrying about the same thing as Ginny was? Ginny had never said, only admitted that Aunt Molly had wished that Hermione had married into the Weasley family.
What in Merlin's name was going on?
And exactly why did a 'firm hand' needed to be included in this? Was it simply on the part of getting Hermione back into the Weasley family after the last sting? Fred, George and Lee had actually managed to keep themselves from pulling any major pranks on her since the entire incident with her birthday, though…
There was the time when George had abducted her, trying to lock her into the apartment he shared with his twin and Lee. But Hermione had managed to take care of it all, even if she had ended up underneath Fred by the time Alicia and Lee had burst in.
Hermione could already feel the slight blush rise in her cheeks.
But that could hardly be called as a prank. That was just another incident when George went too far in order to get Hermione to be with the rest of the Weasleys family. And Fred certainly hadn't meant to trip her as she had made a mad dash for their backdoor.
Deep breath.
A deep, deep breath.
She needed to continue.
-Though you may have slight doubt about our ability about being firm, we have, with a bit of aid from our beloved older brothers, thought of a way that even you will not find disagreeable. Yes, we were warned severely on our original plan, and as such, a new one was thought up of.
I am quite sure that you will find this to your liking, no?
Unfortunately in your case, our older brothers have made us promise to not speak, or to write of this new way of us taking a firm hand, and as such, you will not learn of it until you have graced The Burrow with your presence.-
So Bill, Charlie and Brian knew of it, at least. That was, slightly comforting, but…
But that didn't mean that they were worried about the same thing. Bill, Charlie and Brian might simply be helping the twins and Lee get her back into the Weasley fold. They might not know…
Damn.
This was just too damn confusing.
She didn't know what the twins and Lee knew, and what they didn't.
She didn't know what Bill, Charlie and Brian knew either.
She didn't know anything.
She had to stop allowing her thoughts to run wild and just read the damn letter.
-It was decided earlier that the decision that you will visit The Burrow would be kept within the 'need to know'. That currently consists of myself, my lovely twin and Lee. Ginny knows as we needed her to be the one to find her, she still has the gift, as do Bill, Charlie and Brian. And that is due to their insistence that they are involved in what they term as 'your safety'.
It is at this point that Bill wishes for you to be informed that there will be no need for you to catch up on your advanced spells. He wishes to assure you that he, along with Charlie and Brian, will always be around in order to keep control of our movement.
He fails to agree that there will be no need for this, as we have tried to convince him that we would not dare to anger your beautiful soul. He seems to be harbouring this idea that you do not wish to be placed in what he views as a 'delicate situation' and as such, he believes that you will have an unlimited amount of warnings, and that it is in your right to decide on their punishments. -
Yes, that was Bill all right.
He knew that would be the only way to make sure that Hermione would come. He knew that he needed to promise Hermione that she would be given immunity, in order to get her back.
But that still didn't answer her question.
Did the five of them worry about exactly what was troubling Ginny?
-But even with what Bill quotes as 'needed intervention', you will be entering a festive and extremely interesting, even for you, time when you arrive at The Burrow. We have decided, in order to make sure that this visit is enjoyable, and to ensure that you will return, that there will be several events set up just for you pleasure.
And do not worry Babe, we will make sure that these special plans just for you do not fall into anyone else's hands. As you well know, there are a few members who will be there who will wish to interfere for your own 'behalf'. Sadly, the knowledge that Bill and Charlie will be keeping 'an eye', as it is termed, will not lessen their fears.-
None of it sounded as though anything was worrying them. It was as if they were simply carrying on with their usual attitude to cause complete and utter mayhem and…
No!
Just keep to the damn letter.
-How can they have such little faith in myself, Fred and Lee are unfounded. Your interests are always at the top of our list, as you well know, and with the added help of our three older brothers, Bill, Charlie and Brian (Oliver has decided, for the moment, to ignore any of the owls we have sent to him and we did try to include him after a brief discussion with Bill), there will be nothing that will hinder your long awaited return to The Burrow.-
Strange.
Usually it was part and parcel when Fred, George and Lee tried to include more than just the three of them in some crazy plan. If the three were trying for the older group, then it was Bill, Charlie and Brian. If the twins and Lee decided for the second eldest group, then it was Oliver and Percy.
They didn't try for Oliver, and not Percy.
What in Merlin's name was going on?
It had only been a month since she had seen the entirety of the Weasley family, during the last Weasley Gathering, and a week and a half since she had seen Harry, Ron and Penny. Exactly what could have happened since then?
And Harry and Ron, even if they did have Penny with them, would have hinted if there was something wrong.
It was just bloody perfect.
She doesn't see them just over a week, and everything goes to bleeding Hell.
Perfect.
Bloody perfect.
This had to be what Ginny had been hinting about. Something had gone completely wrong, and somehow Percy was involved in it all.
So that meant The Ministry, only…
Hermione would have heard something if it had been. She kept a close ear to what was happening in The Ministry, quite a bit of the time she would have the news on the radio echoing softly in the background when she was at work, and when she was in her apartment.
She should know, even if The Ministry were still keep a very strict hand on what was allowed to be broadcasted on the radio waves.
But if it was extremely important, than it would have been told to her while she was at work. More than once a Contact had slipped into the shop and dropped the news to her in the middle of what would seem to be a perfectly ordinary conversation.
But no one had approached her.
Damn it all.
Now she was beyond worried.
She needed to talk to someone, now!
It was at that point that she was awarded with a sharp hoot. Hermione turned her head so see that Four and Twenty Blackbirds were shifting from foot to foot, taking it in turns hoot at her.
Well, that was a possibility.
She could send them a letter back, demanding for them to tell her their news to her face, instead of continuing to try and read the letter. At least then she would have a better chance of figuring out exactly what the twins and Lee knew, and what they were trying to just hint about.
But then…
Was it wise to try and get information out of those three? They were well known in adoring it when someone thought they knew something, when they didn't. It meant that they could drive that said person up the wall, without ever having to say what it was.
Usually waited until the person was in near tears before admitting it too.
And Fred, George and Lee would love it if they could do that to Hermione. She had a better chance of getting something out of another Weasley, but who…?
She could try Bill, but that would undoubtedly drag Charlie and Brian into it.
Or Percy, but…
No.
No.
She needed to write to….
With a decisive nod, Hermione folded back up the parchments, ignoring the protesting hoots from Four and Twenty Blackbirds. Undoubtedly the twins and Lee had demanded that this would once again be another one of those times when they weren't allowed to let Hermione not read the entire letter, and so they were going to make nuisances of themselves until she did. But she had another task for them.
As her owl was already out, she was going to use the two of them to carry her letter to the Weasley she intended on getting the truth out of.
If she remembered correctly, there was some spare parchment at the top of the bookshelf to the right of the window and enough of it that she could make her demands perfectly clear to the intended recipient. Usually it didn't take much to convince someone to see her point of view, but Weasleys were tricky.
Sometimes it took a bit of a push to make them understand it was in their best interest to follow her way.
A few minutes later, and after finally managing to pull a lone quill from another shelf of the bookshelves, Hermione used the polka-dot string to tie it to one of the owls, and made shooing motions towards the owls. But, they were having none of it, and clicked their beaks back at her.
'I'm warning you,' Hermione said. 'You'll end up under one of my spells again. I'm not kidding.'
Still that damn blank stare.
'Out!' Hermione roared.
Hermione shifted her wand from the holster around her wrist, gave her fingers a flourish and a pale blue spell shot towards the owls. That seemed to be the warning they needed, as with a protesting hoot, the two owls took the air and soured out of the open window.
With a decisive nod, Hermione spelled the window shut again before returning her wand to its original place.
'That's that,' she muttered, grabbing the letter from Fred, George and Lee and heading towards the bedroom. She could hide the parchments in there.