PART TWO: WELCOME HOME

CHAPTER FIVE:

"What are you doing here?" she breathed as she felt Sokka push away from the building and start toward her.

""I was worried when you didn't show up last night. I've been waiting here all afternoon. I figured the weather delayed you," Sokka said in his rumbling voice. Her mouth suddenly felt dry, her knees watery. Her heart thudded hard against her ribcage, battering itself to pieces. She swallowed hard, trying to wet her throat.

"I spent the night in a tavern a few miles out of the mountains. Took me all day to walk into the city. The roads are nearly impassable."

"You do look half-frozen," he mused, his hands rearranging her coat and pulling her damp scarf down. The cold air hit her lips, but she felt his hot breath whisper against her aching skin the next moment. A shiver went through her as he caught her gloved hands in his, rubbing at them.

"Thanks for your help back there, by the way."

Sokka chuckled softly, and the sound of it shot little thrills down into her toes and back to her head, which swam a little, as if she might not be getting enough air all of a sudden. She'd thought she was prepared to see him again, that she'd hardened her heart to him. All it had taken was one laugh from him, though. Just that one sound, and she was right back where she'd been six months ago, her tail tucked between her legs as she'd run from Ba Sing Se and the reality of the situation.

Damn him…

"I knew you could handle it. Besides, I always did like watching you fight," he murmured. "Why didn't you arrest them?"

"Because the station is ten blocks away and I'm cold, wet and tired."

"So lazy," he teased her and she smacked his shoulder, a grin unforced on her face.

"Shut up."

"Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?" he said unexpectedly, making the little huffing noise she'd come to associate with his smile.

Her knees felt weak and her stomach was flip-flopping. She couldn't feel anything through her feet, but she could hear the fishermen working on the icy dock ahead of them and the sounds of boat horns and rigging lashing in the wind. Somehow she'd imagined their reunion a lot differently. She'd planned on being cool and distant and acting like seeing him again didn't affect her in the slightest. Anything to preserve her dignity.

She didn't feel cool and distant though, now that he had abruptly swooped back into her life. She was so unprepared for the excited thump of his heartbeat, for his scent, for the sound of his smile and the heat of his skin. She felt as in control as a pebble tumbling down a mountain.

"I… I missed you too," she mumbled, dropping her face a little. Change the subject. Now. "So, am I too late? Did Katara have the baby yet?"

"No, at least she hadn't when I left this morning. She's on bed rest though, and she's taking it out on everyone else," Sokka said with an indulgent laugh. "She looks like she could pop any minute now and her back is killing her. When I left, Aang was on back rub duty." Sokka noticed the expression on her face before she shut it down. "Are you okay? You look a little… I don't know… Did those guys hurt you?"

The words stuck in her throat. He was going to find out sooner or later. She might as well do it now, except she just couldn't get the words out. She felt a dim sort of lurch of self-pity and then felt her lunch stirring, threatening to break free. She pushed the nausea down and shoved the self-pity aside. That wasn't her style and she'd been wallowing too much lately.

"No, they didn't. Sokka… I…" she trailed off and she felt his hand brush her hair back. She wanted to lean against his hand, to lose herself in the memories of that night, when they had belonged to each other. She knew better though. She always had. "I'm just cold and wet. I must look like a hobo."

"Actually, I think you look beautiful," he whispered in a raspy voice.

She hadn't expected him to say that either. It warmed her to her numb toes, despite the warnings firing off in her head. She sniffed a little, conscious of how drippy her nose was and how sweaty she was feeling beneath her heavy coat.

"No, I don't."

"Yeah, you do," he said with another huffing smile. "You're definitely a sight for these sore eyes. You've been gone too long. Where have you been?"

"Around. Did some traveling here and there. And I went to visit my parents after… Uh…" she faltered, the words dying in her dry mouth. She'd probed much too close to the festering wound they were both trying hard to ignore. Or at least she was.

"After you left me in Ba Sing Se," Sokka said, not giving her quarter. She flattened her mouth into a thin line.

"Yeah."

"Which was rude, by the way."

Her eyebrow arched at him and her hands dropped from his coat. "Well, I didn't see the point of delaying the inevitable. Better to rip the bandage off than pull it slow, you know?" she said in a tight voice, trying to remember her plan.

Cool and detached. Pretend you don't care. Protect yourself. You're just going to get hurt. Again. You can't afford to be weak again. Not now. You have to be stronger than you've ever been. For the both of you.

"What was so inevitable, Toph?" he asked in a strange voice as she stepped back, trying to extricate herself from the warmth of his arms. The wind cut into her like a knife.

"Can we not do this here?" she bit, starting to walk away from him in the direction of the ferry. Sokka caught her hand though, tugging her toward him. She didn't struggle as he led her down the slippery dock in the opposite direction. "What are you doing? The ferry is that way."

"The ferry isn't running today. I brought my own boat," he called back over his shoulder as he led her toward the other end of the docks.

"You have a boat?"

"Yeah, I have a boat now," he bragged. "It's nothing fancy. Just a small sailboat. She's pretty though."

"I'm almost impressed," she snarked, and was satisfied by the huffing sound of his smile. She could hear the water lapping at the dock, and against a solid object directly in front of her. A sail was snapping in the wind nearby. It was starting to snow again; she could feel the wet flakes as they kissed her exposed skin.

"Shut up and get in the boat," he said, letting go of her hand. She heard him jump down into the boat with a muffled thump. He turned back to her with a shuffle. "Toss me your pack."

She slung her pack off of her shoulder, glad to be rid of its weight at last. She tossed it as hard as she could in the direction of Sokka's voice and was satisfied by the sound of it hitting him square in the face with an oomph! She smirked as he dropped it onto the deck.

She edged forward, her hands outstretched. She felt utterly blind at the moment, as helpless as the robbers had thought she was, afraid of what was at the end of the slippery planks. All she needed to do was to miss the boat and tumble into the freezing cold water. That was just the sort of day she was having.

Sokka knew how she felt about boats though, and how she felt about not having the earth beneath her feet in general. She felt his hand close over hers with a reassuring grip, leading her forward.

Then his hand left hers and he grasped her waist, pulling her off of the dock and into the boat without even a grunt of effort. She didn't feel much better with the lurching boat beneath her feet, but it was better than teetering on the edge of the icy dock.

"I've got you," he rumbled as she clutched him for one moment, trying to get her sea legs beneath her. His breath was warm on her ear for one delicious moment.

"Dammit, don't do that," she said, feeling her face flushing.

"Do what?" he said, his hands tugging at her waist, bringing her up against him.

"You know what, Boat Guy," she said, her foot finding her pack as she lurched backward away from the heat of him. The boat rocked beneath them and she felt Sokka's hand on hers again. She allowed him to guide her over to a bench and she sat down on it with a decisive thump. Her stomach was not happy about the choppiness of the water.

Don't puke, don't puke, don't puke…

"What? Help you? It's okay to get help, Toph. Even you need it sometimes."

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it," she said angrily as she listened to him untying ropes with a series of odd noises she couldn't work through.

"Do I?" Sokka mused as he pushed away from the dock with a grunt. They drifted into the bay. He was moving around, doing all manner of mysterious sailing things. After a few minutes she heard the sails unfurl with a snap and flinched as the wind immediately caught in them and they lurched forward with dizzying speed.

Silence fell over them as Sokka steered them out into the bay. A cold, fine spray of salt water tickled her frozen cheeks and iced up on her eyelashes. She shivered in place, trying not to vomit as the boat bobbed up and down in the waves. Sokka seemed too busy dealing with the boat to talk. Or maybe he could sense that she needed a moment to gather herself. Or that she might throw up if she opened her mouth.

With the wind at their back, it didn't take long before she felt the boat bump up against another dock. Sokka tied it up and slackened the sails. She started to stand, but he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Wait. We need to talk."

"About what?" she asked as he dropped into a seat in front of her.

"You know what."

Damn him…why can't he just pretend it never happened?

"Look, I'm not going to make it weird for you and Suki, okay?" she said with a venomous bite in her voice, going straight for the heart of the thing they'd been trying to avoid so far. Cool and detached, my ass.

"Oh, you're not, are you?" he asked in an amused voice.

"No," she spat, feeling off-kilter and not just because of the way the water was bumping against the hull of the boat. "How is she, by the way?"

"Oh, she's fine. She arrived last night."

"How nice for you."

"Yeah, it was nice seeing her again," he said diffidently.

"Fantastic," she mumbled, clutching her rebellious stomach. She felt sick and for more reasons than one. "I'm so happy for you."

When's the wedding? she managed not to add bitterly, as her heart squeezed hard in her chest. Calm, cool and distant. Don't let him know. Let him think you don't care. That you don't still feel the same way.

Sokka took her hands. "Are you?"

He sounded amused, which sparked the anger she'd been keeping back with the barest shred of control.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be? You and Suki belong together." She tried to smile, but her frozen face ached too much.

"There's only one problem, though," he said heavily, a slight tremor in his hands.

"What's that?" she asked around her thick tongue.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Not to me."

"Well, if I wanted to be with her, I wouldn't be on this ship with you right now, would I?"

"What?" Toph murmured after sitting there for several stunned seconds.

"You heard me."

"I did. Doesn't mean I believe it."

"Well, you should," Sokka said in a serious voice that was unlike him. "I've spent the last six months trying like hell to get you out of my head. Guess what? You're stuck in there like a tick, Beifong. I don't want to get over you."

"What about Suki? What about what I told you? You were supposed to marry her, you idiot," she asked in a voice so small the wind tried to snatch it away. "You were supposed to leave that night where it was. That was the plan. You agreed."

She felt him shrug. "I never agreed to that. Did you really think that was going to happen? That I'd settle down with Suki and forget what's between us?"

She had. And maybe that was what had hurt so much for all of these months. She had seen the outcome so clearly. She had never once doubted that he would come to his senses and swing back to Suki. The alternative had never entered her head, except in half-remembered dreams and stray thoughts when she let her guard down. Which wasn't often.

"You were supposed to."

"I couldn't. I'm in love with you, Toph," he said seriously and a fiery sort of blaze ignited in her chest, scorching her with undeserved hope. "I admit it, when you left me in Ba Sing Se I was really confused. I still had feeling for Suki, feelings I had to work through."

"And you have?"

"I realized last night that a part of me will always love her, but that I'm not in love with her anymore. What we had is long over. I want you, Toph. I want you to come back to Republic City for good and I want to be with you. "

"You don't mean that…" she whispered, feeling vulnerable in a way only he could make her feel. Sokka had always had a way of stripping away the tough layers she hid herself beneath, to dig until he found her weak spots. Her heartbeat and its little echo thundered out of control.

"Of course, I do," Sokka said earnestly and she felt him kneel in front of her as the boat rocked around them.

But he doesn't know. He doesn't know that I'm not the same Toph I was six months ago… That I made a mistake that I can't ever erase… What will he think when I tell him? Why would he stick around after that?

The snow was still coming down, kissing her skin. Not a thought was running through her head. She was shocked, numb. The blaze of hope in her chest was starting to spread to her limbs. Did he mean it? She had no doubt that he did.

"You're not with her?"

"No. Not since we broke up last year. It's over. There's only you…something I should have seen a long time ago. If you hadn't run from me, I probably would have. You're everything. Please tell me you still feel the same, Toph. Tell me I haven't messed this up."

"You haven't… I still… Sokka…" she stammered, surprised by the wetness in her eyes. But they weren't tears of happiness. She dropped her face and squeezed her pale eyes shut. "You shouldn't. You don't know… Dammit, there's something I have to tell you…and you should know it before you…"

But Sokka wasn't listening. He cupped her face and brought her in for a deep, dark, warm kiss that blazed through every argument, insecurity and fear raging through her.

Toph clung to him, kissing him back with everything in her, unable to stop. Tears broke free as her hands fisted in his coat. He moaned and cradled her against him. His arms were warm and solid. Reassuring. A harbor to shelter in. She couldn't stop. Wouldn't. Her traitorous heart demanded more and she gave it what it needed.

She wouldn't, couldn't do it. Couldn't shatter the moment with the truth that had been digging into her like a knife-point for the past few weeks, driving fear and regret, shame and worry ahead of her like a whipped beast. She clung to him hard, knowing that it couldn't last.

After all, he wouldn't want her once he found out that she was pregnant.