Chapter Five: Norry's Turn
Davy: I don't think I can take much more of this.
Norry: Elizabeth did look pretty hot, though.
Jack: That she did, mate. That she did.
(They shut up upon seeing the furious look of rage on Will's face as he reaches for his sword. All except Jack, that is.)
Jack: We can't have another three-way right now, William.
(An awkward silence fills the room.)
Jack: I didn't mean it like that! We were just...having a sword fight was all. Just having a friendly crossing of swords.
(The awkward silence persists.)
Jack: Ye Gods, you people have your minds in the gutter constantly, don't you? Let's just get on with this.
(Anamaria comes up and slaps Jack.)
Jack: What was that for?!
Anamaria: Sorry, it was a little late. It was for saying Elizabeth was hot instead of me.
Jack: Oh.
(Anamaria slaps Jack again.)
Jack: What the bloody hell?!!
Anamaria: You didn't say I was hot.
Jack: Oh. Sorry. You were hot as well, Anamaria.
(Will slaps Jack.)
Jack: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
Will: For calling my fiance hot.
Jack: Oh.
(Elizabeth slaps Jack.)
Jack: WHAT NOW?
Elizabeth: That was for calling me hot.
(Jack sighs. Norrington slaps Jack.)
Jack: WHAT THE HELL???
Norry: That was for calling Elizabeth hot.
Jack: YOU DID, TOO!!!
Norry: Poppycock.
(Jack giggles. Tia slaps him.)
Jack: I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOTHING THAT TIME.
Tia Dalma: Dat was for havin' yo mind in dee gutters.
(Davy slaps Jack.)
Jack: What is it?
Davy: That was for yelling at Tia.
Tia Dalma: DON'T CALL ME TIA!
(Barbossa slaps Jack.)
Jack: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!
Barbossa: Sorry. I felt left out.
(Jack sighs, then slaps Mr. Gibbs to let out his frustration. Everybody stares.)
Mr. Gibbs: What?
Elizabeth: Where did you come from...?
Jack: Well, you see, Lizzy, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...
Will: THAT was not what she meant. This is rated T, not M, remember?
Jack: WHAT? We have a RATING we have to stick to? I can not work like that.
Will: You signed the contract.
Jack: What contract?
Davy: The contract you signed.
Jack: Yes, I realize that, but what contract?
Tia Dalma: Dat one.
Jack: Where?
Norry: Under there.
Jack: Under where?
(Everybody laughs but Jack, who looks confused.)
Jack: What?
Everyone: YOU SAID UNDERWEAR!
Jack: Oh my...Krakken, if you're still alive, kill me now.
(Krakken appears next to the boat.)
Jack: I WAS JUST KIDDING! IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!!!
(The Krakken shrugs and leaves.)
Anamaria: How does a Krakken shrug?
Elizabeth: Don't know. Don't care. Norrington's turn to sing!
Norry: I don't wanna.
Tia Dalma: Too bad.
Norry: But--
Jack: He said 'butt'.
Davy: SING!
(Everybody watches in amazement as he beatboxes Blake Lewis-style, making it sound like he's putting a record on.)
Norry: SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! AND YOU'RE TO BLAME! DARLING, YOU GIVE LOVE, A BAD NAME!
An angel's smile is what you sell
You promised me heaven then put me through hell.
Chains of love, got a hold on me
When passion's a prison you can't break free.
Oooooh, you're a loaded gun!...yeah.
There's nowhere to run!
No one can save me, the damage is done!
Shot through the heart! And you're to blame!
You give love a bad name!
I play my part, and you play your game!
You give love a bad name!
You give love a bad name!
(There is more staring as Norry only beatboxes for sixteen measures.)
Norry: Shot through the heart! And you're to blame!
Darling, you give love a bad name!
I play my part, and you play your game!
You give love a bad name!
Shot through the heart and you're to blame!
Darling, you give love a bad name!
I play my part, and you play your game!
You give loooooove!
A bad name.
xxxx END OF CHAPTER FIVE xxxx
(Note: Sorry it took so long for me to update. I was really busy over past few weeks, so I, unfortunately, didn't have time to just sit back and write some fanfiction.
I hope you all like my choice of song for Norry. I realized after I wrote it that it would kind of be more suitable for Davy or Tia, but I've already written theirs, so poo on them. xD)