Ville and Bam sat in a little Chinese restaurant three blocks away from the shrink's office sharing a plate of stir-fry. Bam fumbled with the chopsticks as Ville ate half the plate. He had just shoved a snow pea in his mouth, when Bam dropped the sticks and started using his fingers.
"Did you clean those?" Ville mumbled around his food, pointing to Bam's fingers with his own chopsticks.
Bam popped a piece of red pepper in his mouth. "Yeah," he mumbled back.
"When?" Ville asked. "The last time hell froze over?"
Bam finished chewing his food and picked up the chopsticks he had just put down. "I can't use these damn things, Willa."
Ville smiled sliding into the booth next to Bam. "Here, I'll teach you how to use them," he said, putting the chopsticks back into Bam's hand and placing them the right way. "Okay, good. Now open them," he instructed him.
Bam opened them a bit, then a bit more.
"That's it. That's how you do it." Ville smiled, kissing Bam's cheek.
After Bam was good with his chopsticks, Ville went back to his seat and started eating again.
"So, what did the shrink say, Ville?" Bam asked after a few mouthfuls.
Ville stayed quiet as he picked up a mushroom and pepper and ate them. "Nothing. He asked me what was wrong and gave me sleeping pills," he finally answered.
"That took an hour?" Bam asked fighting Ville for the last snow pea on the plate.
"Uh, he asked me about, um... before you went to rehab," Ville said letting Bam have the pea.
Bam's chopsticks stopped above the green vegetable. "About when I was abusive?" he asked. There was a certain glint in Bam's blue eyes that Ville only saw when he was about to hit someone. He hoped it was only memory of hitting him that was in Bam's eyes.
"Yeah," he nodded, setting his chopsticks down and resting his hands in his lap.
Bam's head tilted to the side, confusion in his blue eyes. "What's wrong, Ville?" he asked. "Why are you withdrawing?"
Ville shook his head.
"Ville, talk to me. Please," he begged softly.
"You're mad at me for telling him," Ville mumbled staring at his hands.
"Oh, god no, Ville." Bam slid into the seat next to Ville. "I'm not mad at you. If what I did then has anything to do with your nightmares, I want you to talk about that so, the nightmares will go away and you can sleep better," he told the Finn, putting his arms around Ville's slumped shoulders. "I want you too feel better."
"You being abusive is what set off the nightmares," Ville whispered, laying his head on Bam's shoulder.
Bam felt his heart plummet and his eyes sting with tears. He had done this to Ville. Not only had he physically hurt him, but he mentally hurt him too; the man he loved, the man that stood by him even after all that he'd done to him. "Ville," he choked. "I'm so sorry." He rested his cheek on top of Ville's hair.
"Tell me about the first time you had one of the nightmares and what set it off, Ville," Dr. Nick suggested.
Ville was back in the Doctor's office for another session. It had been two weeks since the first one he had and he was doing okay. He only had the nightmares two or three times a week instead of every time he fell asleep. He laid on a leather couch in the Doctor's office recounting the events.
"It was after the first time Bam beat me," he started. "He had gotten drunk and was convinced that I was cheating on him with the keyboardist of my band, Burton. I told him that he was out of his mind, three sheets to the wind drunk and that he needed to calm down. That only made him worse. After he beat me and left, his brother Jess helped me get cleaned up and into bed, so I could rest..."
"Wasn't he concerned that you may have a concussion?" Nick asked.
"No, Jess has seen enough concussions in his life with Bam and other friends that he was pretty sure I didn't have one. But he checked on me in case he was wrong," Ville answered, staring at the ceiling counting the panels that made it.
"Alright, continue."
"I don't remember falling asleep. But I remember waking up in my dream and being in what looked like a dungeon. It smelled horrible, like sulfur and burning flesh." Ville grimaced remembering the smell. "There was this tall weird looking guy standing in front of me with his back turned. I couldn't see his face or what he was doing, but I heard a laugh and a voice that said he had been waiting for me. That's when the guy turned to face me. He was ugly, his face looked like fucked up molding clay that was melted in spots. When he smiled, his mouth was full of small sharp teeth. I tried to scream and run away, but he caught me." Ville squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to remember any farther.
"Okay, Ville. It's alright. You did well," Nick said closing his notepad. "I think we can call it short today. We'll pick up in another two weeks," he said as Ville got up. "But if there's anything you want to talk about between now and then, just call."
Ville nodded, putting on his coat.
The doctor walked out of the office with Ville, chatting casually with him until they stopped in the waiting room. "Bam, this is Dr. Nick." Ville introduced them as Bam stood up.
"It's nice to meet you." Bam smiled, shaking the doctor's hand.
"Likewise." Nick smiled back, tightly.
After the doctor left, so did Ville and Bam.
"What the hell was his problem?" Bam snapped, getting into the driver's seat of the Hummer.
"I don't know." Ville shrugged, putting his seat belt on.
"Shrinks." Bam huffed, driving off.