Herald
She Who is Vengeance
"You've never seen the ocean?" Kazui exclaimed.
"I have avoided staying in the World of the Living, but I've seen pictures and video," I explained as I set down my bowl of rice to avoid being rude. "But on the other hand, have you ever seen a Royal Procession?"
"A what?" he asked.
"A Royal Procession," I said again. "Several times a year a procession of Royal Attendants travel across the Soul Society. They do it for various reasons, but watching it is like seeing a dragon of fire slither through the night sky."
"I haven't seen that before," he said.
We were sitting in the dining hall, amusing ourselves as we ate lunch and shared our experiences from our two, very different worlds. Since he had arrived a few days ago, I had been trying my best to act normal by going back to work. Being around the squad was challenging though. Just like when I had first seen Amagi, my days were filled with spikes of dread and fear. I was slowly desensitizing myself, but I didn't know what was going on and I hadn't had much of a chance to talk to Toshiro. He had been so busy arranging the transfers for some of the 8th combat team's remaining members that he was rarely around, and Rangiku had thrown a party every night since Kazui arrived. It made finding privacy difficult.
At least I wasn't worried about myself. With Kazui staying in the room beside my own, I didn't have anything to worry about. After Rangiku's first party, everyone in the squad knew who Kazui was, making it so I had to worry more about the jealous girls in the squad than someone trying to attack me. Jealous girls I could handle, but I actually felt safe in my room. It wasn't as safe as I felt with Toshiro, but it was comforting. I didn't have to check for someone before I entered, or feel the actual need to sleep with my zanpakuto drawn. It made me wish I could take him to work with me, but that wasn't what he was here for. He was here to train, so I made do with sleeping well at night.
"What do you guys do around here for fun?" Kazui asked as he speared his fish with his chopstick.
"Well, that depends on what you're into," I said lightly. "You could be like Rangiku and drink for fun-"
"Besides drinking," he said lightly. "I think I've had enough sake to last me a year."
I couldn't help but laugh at his comment. Rangiku and her parties…
"-or you could venture around the Seireitei and see what there is to offer. There's all sorts of stuff to do, you just have to go out and do it."
"What do you do?"
His question caught me off guard and I hesitated as my mind stopped trying to think of adventures in the Seireitei and drew back to my own interests. "I'm rather boring, I think. I spend most of my time practicing, or since you brought my guzheng, learning how to play it. I'll join Rangiku from time to time, but that's about as eventful as I get."
"Wow, that is boring," he said flatly.
"Told ya," I said with a shrug as I returned to eating.
"You don't ever get the urge to just do something different?" He asked, emphasizing his words with his hands. He instantly made me think of Toshiro and just how much time I had been spending with him, making my cheeks flare up in a blush.
"W-well, sometimes I suppose."
A tray slammed down on the table beside me, making me almost jump clear out of my seat.
"Kazui! I haven't seen you in months!"
The hair on the back of my neck prickled and my body went rigid when I recognized the voice. Squad 11's Lieutenant Madarame... What the hell was Squad 11 doing here? I was going to have more buildings to fix by the end of the day, I could just feel it.
"Ikkaku," Kazui said, his face lighting up with a friendly smile. "I was planning on stopping by next week. It's good to see you."
"What kind of a reply is that?" Lieutenant Madarame half shouted as he slammed his hand down on the table, making our trays and plates rattle with the force.
"It's the truth," Kazui said with a small, easy laugh.
"You should be over with Squad 11, learning how to fight with real men!" Lieutenant Madarame plopped down on the seat beside me and I nervously inched a little away to give him more room.
"I'm practicing with my Hollowfication," Kazui said lightly. "Unless you want to become like the other Visored, our battle would just be a fight and I'm not here to fight for fun."
"You're just like your old man," Yumichika said with a sigh as he set his own tray down beside Kazui and sat. "Always running from a good fight."
"We don't fight for the fun of it," Kazui said as he turned his attention to Squad 11's 3rd seat. "We fight when it means something."
"That's so boring," Lieutenant Madarame complained.
I stayed silent and small as they continued to verbally jab at each other. Rangiku's lovely parties had drawn them to our area, but I hadn't realized that they had stayed over night. It was amazing that they weren't hampered with a hangover when considering how much sake they can gone through the night before. I hadn't been present to see it, but Rangiku's haggard and miserable form this morning had whined about the mess until she fell asleep across the couch in the captain's office while I had been organizing the final stack of late papers. I had left her there, leaving her to either wake up on her own or to be startled by Toshiro when he returned.
"So what are you doing today? Clearly your lazy ass isn't training right now," Lieutenant Madarame asked as he leaned forward, putting his weight on the table.
"Today is my day off, so I was thinking I would explore the Seireitei," Kazui said lightly.
"You train for three days and get a day off? What kind of bull shit is that?"
"Shinji and Kensei had business in the World of the Living, so I could either go with them or spend the day here. I figured I can go back home any time, but actually exploring the Soul Society was something I could only do on a rare occasion," Kazui said with a small shrug as he put his empty bowl down. "So, I was just asking Ria here what sort of fun things there were to do here."
Everyone's eyes turned to me and I went stiff again, feeling like a rabbit caught under the gaze of a predator. I laughed nervously and moved to set my bowl down only to find I had already done so. "I-I was just telling Kazui that I probably wouldn't be the best one to ask for advice like that."
"Aw, give yourself some credit," Amagi's voice came from behind me, startling me as my stomach sank and my skin broke out in a fear induced cold sweat. "Yamamoto knows some of the best places to hang out."
I shoved back my fear filled reaction to him and forced a smile as he sat along the unoccupied side of the table closest to me, setting down a drink he had been carrying. It was just Amagi, I had to tell myself. I was being silly to be so scared of him. He was the most liked guy in the squad and my friend. I was just being stupid and letting my body react to him instead of my head. He wasn't the only one I got like this around, and it didn't always happen. I just had to get over it… get over it. Yeah.
"Oh yeah?" Lieutenant Madarame challenged as his narrowed gaze shifted down to me, "What sort of places would those be?"
I shot Amagi a look that told him he wasn't helping, and straightened my posture before I turned to look at the Lieutenant. "Well, there's the Shabby Cat, the Rock Box, Wrestler Hall, the Flow-"
"Wait!" Yumichika said abruptly, interrupting my list. "You watch sumo?"
I blinked at him like his question was stupid. "Of course. The sport is based off of old rituals that have been passed down in the Ise Clan. I was required to watch and learn, to better understand-"
"Sumo?" Rangiku called out, her voice sounding from across the dining hall. I cringed, realizing that she had heard at least part of our conversation.
"Yeah," Lieutenant Madarame called, turning in his seat so he could find the blonde with his eyes.
"Oh, that sounds like so much fun!" She cheered. The room seemed to quiet from her outburst, but she didn't even notice as her footsteps thudded across the room. She smashed into my back, her arms wrapping around me in a happy hug as she said, "That is such a good idea! Does anyone know if there's a match going on today?"
"I can check the schedule," Yumichika offered as he pulled out his cell phone.
"Is it really okay for you guys to just skip out on work like that?" Kazui asked.
"It won't be a problem," Rangiku mused as she leaned on me and reached down to my plate to snag one of my sausages. "The Captain's out on business, and this sound like the perfect opportunity for team bonding."
"That's not how-" I started to correct her, but she smothered my reply with the sausage she had picked up before reaching for another for herself.
"While the Captain's away, the Lieutenants shall play," she mused as she patted the top of my head and pulled away from my back. I chewed on the sausage as I stewed over her words. She had to know she was just asking to get yelled at.
"If there's a match, we should invite everyone else," Kazui said, aiding in Rangiku's effort to avoid her work.
"That's a great idea! We can show you around the Seireitei afterward too," Amagi offered as he smiled at the orange haired man.
"The semi finals start in an hour," Yumichika declared.
"Let's get going," Rangiku cheered. "We only have an hour to round everyone up."
I resisted the urge to slap a hand over my face. What had I done…?
Plans were hashed out, invitations made and the long trek to the Wrestling Hall made short by friendly banter, threats of violence and talk of drinking. I had tried to slip away numerous times, but after my fifth attempt Rangiku had latched onto my arm to keep me at her side. I had been completely baffled as to how she was functioning so well until she had pulled me close enough that I could feel the flask she had hidden in her uniform. That made all the sense in the world…
When we finally arrived at the Wrestling Hall we had a small crowd of people in tow. Between Rangiku and Yumichika, they had invited almost all of the other Lieutenants and several other Soul Reapers. I had felt like I was doing something wrong by being dragged along with their fun, but everyone else seemed to be having a great time and it made me relax. The fear I had been feeling earlier had washed away with the busyness of the crowd and slowly I was falling into the upbeat rhythm that seemed to flow through the group. I wasn't sure what to call it, camaraderie maybe, but it was slowly filling my chest with a light and almost joyous air. I wanted to laugh and to join in on the fun, so I let myself.
"When was the last time you went to a match?" Lady Nanao asked, startling me as her arm wrapped around the one that Rangiku wasn't latched onto. I gawked up at her, shocked into silence as thoughts of all the summons letters I had thrown away over the past few weeks surfaced. Her eyes were hidden by the reflection in her glasses so I couldn't gauge her expression, but her words had been light and friendly. Was I in trouble, or not?
"N-Nanao!" I exclaimed. "I didn't realize that you would be here."
"Of course I'm here," she scolded. "I wouldn't miss an opportunity to see my most wanted clan member."
Her voice may have been light, but at that moment she turned just enough so the reflection in her glasses vanished and she unleashed her stern gaze on me. I swallowed hard as a nervous laugh bubbled up.
"Nanao," Rangiku chided as she tugged on my arm, pulling me a little further away from my Clan Leader's grip. "This is supposed to be fun. You can get all serious tomorrow when we aren't trying to enjoy ourselves."
"I wasn't getting serious," Lady Nanao corrected. "I was merely asking Ria when the last time she had been to a match was."
"Oh, just making sure," Rangiku mused as she turned her gaze down to me. "When was the last time? I didn't even know you liked sumo."
"I haven't been in awhile," I admitted. "The last tournament ended two or three months ago, and I haven't had the,time since to look up matchs."
"Well it's about time then," she declared as she dragged me around and out of Lady Nanao's grip, turning so she could look at Lieutenant Kira and Lieutenant Hisagi. She seemed to hesitate for a moment as she looked between the two, but quickly decided on a course of action and directed herself to the small space between them.
"Rangiku?" Lieutenant Hisagi said, startled when Rangiku pressed closely between them, her breasts brushing against his arm.
"I was hoping you boys could help us out," she cooed, her voice becoming sultry and her lips pouty.
"Yeah, sure," Hisagi and Kira said as their eyes traveled down.
"Ria hasn't seen a Sumo Match in years and would be very sad if she missed the first few minutes standing in line," she explained as she pulled me closer and cuddled me against her. I flushed red with embarrassment when I realized that she was using me to help her manipulate them, but my blush must have played right into her hands as they both made sounds of pity.
"Do you like Sumo that much?" Lieutenant Kira asked as his gaze shifted away from Rangiku's voluptuous assets to me.
I couldn't answer, but my ever darkening face must have given him the assurance he sought because he looked up to Rangiku and nodded. "You just want us to stand in line for you?"
"I knew I could count on you!" She cheered as she started to drag me toward the Wrestling Hall's entrance. "Thank you Izuru!"
I cringed as I heard Lieutenant Hisagi say, "you know you just agreed to pay for her, right?"
"What? She just asked about the line!" Lieutenant Kira objected.
"The ticket line, idiot."
I let out a sigh and resigned myself to Rangiku's wiles as she next set her feminine gifts on the guard at the entrance. It was like watching a hypnotist work, but instead of a pocket watch she used her curves, lush lashes and pouty lips to get what she wanted. It was magical to watch, but I knew I never could have pulled it off.
It didn't take Rangiku long to find a section of the hall that would fit our group. It wasn't exactly easy, but with a few smiles and flirtatious gestures she had gotten several men to vacate their seats to move to another area. It truly was like magic, but as we sat down beside each other she smiled and leaned back against the step that separated us from the table behind.
"That was fun," she mused.
"You've had a lot of practice with that sort of thing," I commented.
"They're men, it makes it very easy to distract them," she pointed out.
"They wouldn't be so easily distracted if they weren't interested in you," I pointed out.
"They have been interested for years," she said waving her hand as if to dismiss the thought.
I turned away, but kept looking at her through the corner of my eye. Some emotion had passed over her face as she stared down at the dohyo. I recognized that look all too well. It was the same look that passed over Toshiro's face when he started thinking about the past, about whoever it was that had hurt him. Seeing it on Toshiro's face bothered me, but I could do something about that. Rangiku, on the other hand, I didn't know what was wrong or how to fix it but I did know how to do something. Without making it obvious that I was watching her, I rested my hand over the back of hers and quickly turned my eyes to gaze down at the dohyo.
I knew she was looking at me now, but I didn't say anything as I watched the dohyo's floor be raked into a fluid pattern by one of the attendants. We stayed silent for a long moment and I felt her gaze leave me. Her hand turned under mine and her fingers wrapped around my palm before she said, "you are such a weirdo, grabbing my hand like that. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were into girls or something."
I grinned and lightly squeezed her hand. "Your boobs are too big for my tastes."
She snorted a laugh as she replied, "you're just jealous."
"Hardly," I said, rolling my eyes. "I wouldn't be able to play my guzheng if I had your jugs in my way."
"I bet Toshi-"
"Oh no you don't," I interrupted her as I sent imaginary daggers on her direction with my eyes. "If you go there, I'll tell Lieutenant Madarame about that thing you did when he passed out three months ago."
"You wouldn't," she said, clearly not believing me. I wasn't bluffing. She had told me all about how she had dumped him in Squad 4's girls dressing room and covered him in frilly lingerie before leaving him there to be found in the morning. He had been completely shunned by the female population since, though it had only added to the infamy of Squad 11.
"If you make me, I will," I said defiantly.
We stared each other down, our expressions equally stubborn and our eyes narrowed. I managed to hold it for a good moment before my lip started to quirk up with a grin. Rangiku lost it first though, bursting out with a fit of laughter that carried me along with her.
It wasn't much after that when the others finally joined us, filling in the once empty space that we had cleared for them with bodies and good spirits. I hadn't known just how close the Lieutenants were until I was witness to their prodding jokes and mocking threats. It was like watching a family interacting with one another and I couldn't help but to be carried away in their camaraderie.
They ordered sake and food as the matches began, and I let myself forget my fear of Amagi, of watching my back, and of chasing shadows. I was tense when I was alone, but here I was safe in the presence of my Lieutenant, the head of my clan, the substitute soul reaper I had felt secure enough to sleep near, and almost a dozen others that were just as trustworthy. If there was a better place to let my guard down, it could only have been in Toshiro's arms.
"Oi, pass the calamari."
"You can't even say please? How rude."
"Hey, I wasn't asking you."
"Here."
"About damn time."
"Have you no manners at all?"
"I wasn't talking to you."
"There's no reason to be fighting."
"Hey guys…"
"This isn't a fight. This is a lesson on proper mannerisms."
"Alright, calm down now."
"Tell that to miss stick up her butt over there."
"Ikkaku!"
"Oh shut it."
"The match is about to start…"
"I really don't understand what the problem is here. He just asked for the calamari."
"I didn't like his tone of voice."
"This is how I always sound. Too bad if you don't like it."
I smiled as I took another sip of my sake. They were so rowdy, like a bunch of bickering children. But, it felt good. Sitting quietly in the background, I watched the matches below with a smile on my face. I couldn't hear anything beside their chatter, but thanks to the gestures from the judge I knew what was going on down there.
"Enjoying yourself, Yamamoto?" Amagi's friendly voice asked as he took a seat beside me. I smiled lazily at him, the fake expression coming easily to me with the sake in my system.
"I am," I replied just loud enough for him to hear me.
"This was a good idea," he mused as he set down two unopened bottle of sake and removed my empty one. "I think it's been years since I've seen the Lieutenants hanging out like this."
"I blame Rangiku," I said as I eyed the bottle he had placed in front of me. I had never before questioned his kindness, but for some reason my stomach felt uneasy. "She's a people person. Everyone wants to be around her."
"It was you they started flocking too first," he corrected as he popped his bottle open and began pouring himself a drink.
"I think you are confusing me with Kazui," I said lightly. "Did my hair turn orange when I wasn't looking?"
He laughed and held his cup up as if to toast. Caught off guard, I reached for my own cup only to find it empty. Well shit… I sucked in a breath, steeling myself for whatever had tied my stomach in knots and reached for the bottle. I tried to not look like I was suspicious of the bottle as I gingerly popped off the top and looked inside.
"Its sake," he mused. "It's not going to jump out and bite you."
I didn't acknowledge his comment as I slowly poured some into my cup. It was clear… I didn't know what I had expected, but clear wasn't it.
I was a paranoid fool.
"Sorry," I said, letting out a sheepish laugh as I raised my cup to meet his. "What are we cheering too?"
"Good times," he said as he tapped his cup to mine.
"And Sumo!" Several people around us cheered. I laughed and downed the contents of my cup. That was some good stuff.
The rest of the day progressed into evening and before we knew it, the matches were over and our party was forced to find our way back to Rangiku's place. It had started raining between the time we had entered, so as we walked down the corridors of the Seireitei we were covered in the cool autumn tears. I didn't mind it at all, but Rangiku incessant complaints about her hair echoed off the walls.
"Think of it as a cold shower," Lieutenant Kotetsu said as she patted the taller woman on the shoulder. "Your hair will be fine."
"It's going to frizz!" the blonde whined in reply.
"Shut up about your damn hair," Lieutenant Madarame said gruffly as he pointed at her with the bottle he had taken from the wrestling hall. "No one cares about your damn hair!"
"A little rain can't do anything to my hair," Yumichika boasted as he flicked his hair to the side dramatically, flinging fat drops of water at Lieutenant Hisagi.
"I don't understand how you can be part of squad 11 and still be such a drama queen," he grumbled as he wiped at his face.
"There's no women in Squad 11," Lieutenant Kira pointed out. "So someone has to be their-"
"I am no one's bitch," Yumichika threatened as he popped his zanpakuto partially out of its sheath.
"I was going to say whipping boy, but that's close enough," he replied with a shrug.
"I am not a whipping boy," Yumichika denied as he slid his zanpakuto back and pointed at Kazui. "If anyone here is a whipping boy, it's this guy."
Kazui pointed at himself, his expression saying he was surprised that he had been dragged into their conversation. Unlike the majority of us, he was mostly sober due to his claim that he was training tomorrow. He had stuck to only a drink or two despite Ikkaku and Rangiku's attempts to get him to join in.
"A whipping boy?" He asked. "Have you met me?"
I laughed at their conversation, covering my mouth to quiet myself before I said, "Its true."
"What? No way," Kazui objected as he turned to look down at me. I had been walking beside him, so he didnt have to look far.
"The last time you were here for training, you spent the entire time catering to Ichika's every whim," I pointed out to the group.
"That's because I felt bad," he tried to explain.
"Oh, does Kazui have himself a girl friend?" Rangiku teased as she draped herself over his shoulders.
"What? No way," he denied. "That would be like dating my sister."
"But you don't have a sister," Lieutenant Kotetsu pointed out.
"That's beside the point!"
I stumbled as a fit of giggles overtook me when his blatant denial earned him a chorus of teasing remarks. I caught myself on the wall as my balance failed me, and had to stop as my giggles continued. I had been on the receiving end of those comments before. At the time it had been frustrating, but hearing it happen to someone else was absolutely hilarious.
"You alright?" Amagi asked as I felt his hand rest on my shoulder.
"Yeah-" I said, my voice high from laughing. "I just need a minute to stop giggling."
"Can you stand?" He asked as he gently tugged me away from the wall.
"Of course I can stand," I said stubbornly as I pushed off the wall and stumbled a bit. "I didn't have that much to drink."
"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice changing with his words to a deeper and… not right tone.
"Of course," I said as I started to move to follow the group that was slowly moving away.
"Good, you're the only one left," he mused to himself. "I can't have you dying to someone besides me."
My body froze and my eyes went wide. My senses seemed to hone in on him, blocking out the female teasing and male laughter to favor listening for him. He pressed closer to me as I remained still, frozen like a rabbit in a field.
"Relax, Miss Yamamoto," Amagi crooned into my ear, his hot breath ghosting across my skin. My muscles eased despite the panic that crossed my mind. I moved to step away from him, but his arm caught my waist to hold me where I was.
"A-Amagi," I said his name hesitantly. "They're going to leave us behind if we stop too long."
"It's alright, trust me," he said as he pulled me backwards. "Let them go."
"Why do I want to listen to you?" I asked as I let him pull me into his grip. I didn't want to get closer to him, but something in my head was telling me it was okay. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't seem to help myself.
"I can make you forget things, remember things and feel things. Why wouldn't you want to listen to me. You trust me, right?" He cooed. "It only took one drink and I had you. Just give into it, Miss Yamamoto."
He was stealing my free will with his quiet commands. I didn't know how he was influencing me, but I had to stop it before I couldn't think for myself. My hand went to my zanpakuto and wrapped around her hilt, but before I could draw her, Amagi's hand covered mine. I tried to pull her free, but his grip tightened, grinding my joints together as he held me still.
"Stop fighting," he ordered, his voice becoming harsh and less coaxing. I felt something in my head click and my entire body lost its will to resist him… except my grip on my zanpakuto remained strong and unyielding. I could feel Tankyu no Unmei in the back of my head, and realizing her presence made me understand what was happening.
"Mitsuji," I said aloud as I slowly turned my head to look at him over my shoulder. Sinister grey eyes leered down at me.
"Everything okay, Ria?" Kazui called back to us from the group.
The muted sound of steel sliding against steel hit my ears. He was drawing his zanpakuto. I couldn't just stand here. He had me. If I didn't do something-
"Maebure no Shukufuku, Tankyu no Unmei," I called out as I felt him move, calling on my shikai. I didn't even get the name of my shikai out before my armor slammed into place around me and I felt his zanpakuto grind against the metal of my obi. I turned on him, slamming my arm guard against the side of his head hard enough to make him release my hand.
"Hanayume, fervor!" He took a step back before he lunged at me, the tip of his sword poised to strike my unarmored side. "Regret!"
My thoughts shifted with his words, and instead of parrying his strike with my zanpakuto, I turned into him and leaned to the side so I could reach toward him. I could feel my zanpakuto guiding my movements, helping me to fight off his commanding word and still move. It was my hand that caught Amagi's throat, but it was her influence that guided me to squeeze down, the plates of my hand guard cutting into his flesh. He tried to bring his zanpakuto down on me, but with a simple thought I blocked his swing with flash of golden reishi. He swung again, only for it to be blocked once more as I tightened my grip on his throat.
I didn't want to do this any more. Constantly worrying about myself, watching my back for an unseen enemy, fighting the people who were supposed to be my friends. I was wrong. It was all wrong. It was so wrong that I didn't have any idea how to fix it. If I hadn't become a soul reaper… no, that was the best choice I had ever made. But, if I had abandoned my sister, if I had been more proactive instead of reactive, or if I had done something different.
Staring into Amagi's possessed grey eyes as his free hand scrabbled at my handguard, I realized that he too was because of me. If Hideo Mitsuji had never existed, I wouldn't be in this situation. Amagi wouldn't be like this. If he were truly gone, and I hadn't waited so long to kill him, this whole situation wouldn't exist. Amagi wouldn't be possessed, my sister wouldn't be in Squad 11's hands, Daisuke never would have gotten hurt… if he had never existed, none of these horrible things would have ever happened.
The world around me erupted in golden reishi and hot liquid splashed against my face and armor. The pressure of Amagi's throat in my hands vanished and a weight dropped to the ground before me, leaving me blinking dumbly at the golden bits that lingered in the air. The thick scent of copper choked my nose as I inhaled and I found myself paralyzed with the fear of whatever I had just done.
"Ria," Kazui's concerned voice came from behind me. I couldn't respond as I my heart raced and my breath seemed to catch in my throat with nothing but blood to flood my sense of smell.
"Oh god," Lieutenant Kotetsu exclaimed, her voice sounding a little more distant that Kazui's.
Slowly, I let my gaze fall to look at the ground. What I saw didn't seem to make any sense. There was a pile made of red goo, the color so deep that some of it even looked back. It was almost fleshy in appearance, like seeing fish guts or chicken guts when we prepared them fresh. It didn't look at all like the Soul Reaper I had been staring at just a moment ago.
I had just let go of Amagi… right? He wasn't there on the ground looking up at me. Why wasn't he there? He should have been there.
"Where's Amagi," I asked slowly. "He was... right here. He… he… What is this stuff?"
Silence answered me, forcing me to look harder at the stuff on the ground. With the golden glow of the reishi in the air I could clearly see it, but as I tried to make sense of it I saw metal mixed into the goo. It looked like a blade… Amagi's zanpakuto. I had… I had turned Amagi in this mush… into a pile of formless flesh.
I wanted to scream.
I jerked my hand away from my zanpakuto and stumbled back as the power washed out of me. I ran into someone with the movement, but before they could stop me I lurched and ran. I heard voices calling after me before I slipped into a flash step, but I ignored them as I fled blindly into the rainy night. Someone would come after me, but I just needed to figure out what I had done. I had… no, I couldn't have. I couldn't do that to people. I wasn't even using my mind's eye. I had just called my armor and my power to protect myself, but my mind's eye was always the first thing to kick in. Why hadn't it?
"What was that?" I asked aloud to Tankyu no Unmei.
'The part of myself that I gave you when I fixed our bond,' she answered.
'You gave me the power to rip people apart?' I asked, angry and shocked.
'I gave you the part of me that doesn't require control,' she said, her voice softening. 'I gave you the power to feel, to think, and to react. You are the one who has not used our shikai in days despite my warning to you.'
"What warning?" I half shouted as I stopped and drew her, lifting her blade so I could see her image as my reflection in the steel. Her teal eyes met my own for only a second before she manifested. Her hand wrapped over my hand guard and pressed our sword down, turning the blade to the point at the ground. I looked up at her as if I was demanding answers, but I couldn't see her eyes under the darkness of her mask. It hadn't been there in her reflection, but like she had changed from one second to the next, she stood in a black kimono, the edges of it faded to red. Her mask was like bloodied lace, but where her skin should have been seen through the fabric, only darkness could be seen.
"I told you in the moments after your waking that our shikai would be different, and I have been telling you all along what we are capable of. You just refused to hear it and refused to test your abilities."
"I didn't want to do that to Amagi," I argued back, not listening to her explaination.
"You wanted to rid the world of Hideo Mitsuji," she said, nodding with understand. "He has been just as good as Hideo Mitsuji since that first day he was taken over."
"No! He hasn't been. He has been Amagi this whole time with a damn parasite inside him," I shouted. Her lips quirked down in a small frown and she held still for a moment.
"In every future I have seen, he dies." She finally said as she flicked her wrist faster than I couldn't adjust and relieved my grip of our sword. "He dies by your hand, trying to kill you as Hideo Mitsuji."
"That isn't what I wanted!"
"Isn't it?" She questioned as she flipped our sword around and took hold of its hilt. "If he had never existed, that was your thought. If Hideo Mitsuji had never existed, none of these bad things would have ever happened."
She was right. Those had been my thoughts. I had wanted to kill Mitsuji in that moment, to kill him again and remove his very existence just like I had in the World of the Living. Not Amagi.
"You could have killed him on day one, if he had chosen to remain in control. You could have killed him at the arena, if his influence over you hadn't been so strong. He may have chosen to leave you alone tonight. In the presence of so many of your peers, he only had a small window that he decided to pursue. Or, he could have left you be until he had you alone again. He would have kept coming and coming until he died. In no future was he ever to live."
"Why didn't you say something?" I asked, resigning myself to her words. "I-if I had known I could have-"
"Avoided fate?" She asked pointedly.
"No, I could have done something else. Something that would satisfy the name."
"The names stem from an event. They are not your future, but a clue. A clue you always misinterpret."
I was silent after her comment. She was right about that. I never guessed my future correctly. IT was why I didn't ask her every day for my name any more.
"He could have died many ways, but he chose to try and control you. He intended to leave you unable to defend yourself as he slid his blade into your gut, but due to your close kept secrets about just how our shikai works, he did not know how quickly your shikai can form, nor exactly what you must do to maintain it. If he had chosen another command, perhaps he would have lived through today. Or, perhaps he would have died in an even worse way."
"How could I have stopped myself?"
"She Who is Vengeance, you cannot change your fate."
My hand dropped back to my side as my gaze fell to the grass under foot. I caught sight of my right hand, the hand I had grabbed Amagi's throat with and lifted it so I could see better in the dim light. My skin was covered in red, in Amagi's blood that seemed to be staying just as thick as it had been at first despite the falling rain. I went to wipe it away on my uniform, but no matter how much I got off, my skin was stained. It was under my nails, stuck in the creases of my knuckles and already soaked into my shihakusho. I was covered in it.
"Oh god," I whispered as I realized the entirety of my situation. I had killed Amagi, the 4th seat of my squad. I had killed another Soul Reaper. Not only had I done it on accident, but I had done it in front of a group of people and ran. I would be a fugitive if I didn't go back. They would take Tankyu no Unmei from me and lock me up and-
"No, they won't," my zanpakuto said as she shook her head.
"Its their only course of action. I ran-"
"You killed in self defense and fled to keep from hurting anyone else. There's a difference," she said with a sigh. "Mabure no Shukufuku."
My armor seemed to just appear like it had never gone away as she flipped our sword in her hand and turned so her back was to me. My mind's eye kicked in, overtaking my normal vision and allowing me to see everything despite the darkness.
"Why did my mind's eye work? It wouldn't work before," I said as I shook my head to clear the last bit of information from my mind.
"You had a purpose when you activated our shikai. Like the nails securing the lid, you did not need your mind's eye to execute the purpose." She explained as her arms moved and she posed as if starting a dance. "Our bond should be strong enough for this now, but it may still be painful."
My mind's eye flared and consumed my thoughts with the world around me. This time, I knew what to do with it and I filed it away, stuffing the information down so my mind could keep up with my zanpakuto's actions. I didn't know if she was actually dancing, but in my mind's eye she was twirling our sword around to create elegant arcs of golden light around her as she moved. It was beautiful and terrifying to know what she was doing.
She was going to use our shikai to look into something. She had once said that the power was from our bankai, but this was different. Her moves we more subtle and almost wistful in their dragging motions instead of fluid and full of energy. I didn't know what she was doing, but it wasn't the same.
"Looking into the past is child's play," she said, answering my thoughts as she turned in her dance, kicking the fabric of her kimono behind her in the process.
She slammed our sword into the ground and my mind's eye drained away as the area lit up with golden light and our power shot into the earth. Slowly she stood straight, leaving our sword buried in the ground. I watched her in awed silence as she stepped around the hilt in a sweeping movement. The grass seemed to disperse with her movement, turning into glowing bits of reishi that followed her movements like children to the pied piper. She gestured to the entire area, her arm sweeping out to call it all to her in a wave of light.
She spun and flicked both of her hands out, commanding the reishi to flare up into the sky before cascading back down to the ground. The bits seemed to settle over things that weren't there, creating shapes in the area that slowly became more defined as more reishi settled over them. The office that I shared with Amagi and Ono began to make sense in my head and I found myself looking at a glowing reishi replica of Amagi. There were others in the room, but with only partial images lined in bits of reishi, I couldn't distinguish them from one another. I saw myself running into the room, my hummingbird kanzashi standing out on my reishi dusted form. He lunged at my reishi self, and I realized that this scene had been from almost two months ago when Takeshi Nakai had forced Amagi under Mitsuji's control.
I watched the scene as it unfolded, recalling the memories in my head that reflected the actions being replicated before me. Everything was as I remembered it until I had sealed Amagi inside a box made of reishi. The images skipped forward until after I had woken up. I could tell because the kanzashi had decorated my reishi self was made of three peonies and chains instead of the hummingbird I had worn before.
I was in Rangiku's office, working on the stacks of papers that had grown while she lazed across the couch. Amagi had stopped outside the doorway, a cup in his hands. His form carefully peered around the corner before he started to enter, but he abruptly stopped when Rangiku stretched her arms up. I knew from experience that you couldn't see her when she lying across the couch, and it was clear that Amagi hadn't seen her either as he back pedaled, unnoticed, out the doorway and turned to retreat down the hallway.
The scene shifted to when I had been leaving my room at the barracks. The walls of the building were transparent enough with the bits of reishi that I could see Amagi's form around one of the corners. He started to step towards me, but I took off in a flash step, visually vanishing with my movements as I darted over the railing in a sweep of reishi bits. He stopped with my disappearance, zanpakuto half drawn and his face twisted in a sneer.
The scenes shifted again, giving new meaning to many of the interactions I had with him over the past few weeks. He had been trying to get me alone, but every time I had either left before he could do something or someone had shown up like when Tankyu no Unmei had manifested between us in the offices. The entire time he was trying to kill me and I hadn't known a thing. I had thought my zanpakuto had startled him with her foreign appearance, but he had been been startled for other reasons entirely.
The scene from the arena played by, and as events occurred, my memory seemed to fill in the blanks that had been there. The reishi seemed to condense by my zanpakuto's command, allowing me to see clearer the expressions on his face. He was so foreign to me, like it wasn't even Amagi that I was looking at in the reishi. It was Mitsuji's face on his body.
I reached out to touch the almost solid looking man, but as soon as my hand came in contact with the reishi his image vanished in a flurry of gold. I shied back from the torrent that the reishi had shifted into, watching as the bits seemed to find a place on the ground. Gradually the grass that had been glowing reformed until the ground was a solid golden glow. My zanpakuto was standing near our sword but her attention was focused elsewhere despite the mask that she clearly couldn't see though.
Toshiro stood just beyond the reach of our reiatsu fill grass, Kazui and Ikkaku behind him. His face was hard and I knew he must have come when my spiritual pressure had spiked. His hair was heavy with rain and his clothes soaked, telling me that he had seen the entire replay of events my zanpakuto had created.
I turned away, meaning to hide my expressions from his gaze, but stopped when I saw several people dressed in the Executive Militia's uniform standing between me and any direction that I could have fled. I hadn't intended to run, but seeing them standing there made the thought come to the forefront of my mind. It took all of my willpower to keep myself from turning to flee. If I ran again I would be making myself a criminal. Even if I could outrun them, there was no way I could run from Toshiro.
My zanpakuto abruptly appeared in front of me, startling me. The power of our shikai drained out of me, taking my armor and the glowing light of our reiatsu with it to bask us all in the darkness of night. She brushed my hand out of the way before she returned our sword to its sheath.
"Don't let his final command control you," she murmured as she leaned close to me. "If you do not fight it now, you will never overcome it."
She vanished with those final words, and like her presence had been holding it off, the sky's tears began to fall on me once more. I shivered with the cold drops and shrank in on myself, wrapping my arms around my waist. The loss of my shikai had left me shaking and weak, but I forced myself to become still, leaving only a small tremor to course through my body.
I felt Toshiro spiritual pressure before he stopped just behind me, so close that I could feel the cooled air that resulted from his raised spiritual pressure. He had to be angry, and with what I had done I couldn't blame him. I felt his hand gently trace down my back, startling me enough that I jumped. I didn't know what I had expected, but his hand slid down to my waist and pressed between my arm and side.
"I'll stain your haori. I'm covered in-in stuff," I stuttered as I moved to step away from his touch, but stopped when I remember the Executive Militia that were surrounding us.
He followed me closely, not allowing me to get further than his reach with his longer stride. He caught me in his embrace, one arm sliding under mine to hold my waist while his other covered my arms and pinned me to him. He leaned down and pressed his cheek to my hair, leaving his mouth near my ear as he asked, "are you hurt?"
I barely shook my head as I answered just loud enough for him to hear, "no, none of this is mine."
He let out a soft sigh and squeezed me hard enough to force my breath out. "That's good."
"I'm sorry," I said in a small voice. "I didn't mean to. He just… he was manipulating my emotions. I was losing my free will, and I… I killed him."
"He would have killed you," he murmured. "I wasn't even suspecting him. He had been cleared by Captain Kurotsuchi, so I let myself be blind to the possibility. It was my oversight that put you in this situation."
"I did it though," I said as my throat tightened with a held back sob. "I killed him. I did-"
"No," he interrupted me. I could hear his teeth grinding next to my ear as he growled, "if what your zanpakuto showed us was the entire truth, he has been hunting you for weeks. I didn't know, and he stalked you down, waiting for his opportunity... for weeks."
"She doesn't lie," I whispered. "I didn't see it either, but watching and putting the scenes to what I remembered, it's right. The arena came back to me, our interactions in the office, everything."
"I should have seen it," he said gruffly. "I knew it was a squad member. I should have done more. This isn't your fault. You may have dealt the blow, but I should have been there to do it for you."
I nodded and lifted my gaze to look at the black clad stealth force. Despite his soothing words, I knew what was going to happen. They were here for me. I was going to have to go into confinement until the Central 46 passed judgement. I-I didn't want to, but it was law.
"They aren't going to take you. I got to you first," he whispered, drawing me out of my thoughts. He must have felt my reply coming because before I could open my mouth he added, "you are my squad member. It is my purview to see to your detainment after an adverse event. Sui Feng knows this."
He stood straighter as the Squad 2 Captain emerged from her flash step before us. The rain had barely touched her until she stopped, leaving her hair and uniform looking almost pristine. I dropped my gaze to the floor and turned my head to partially hide in the sleeve of Toshiro's shihakusho.
"Captain Hitsugaya," she addressed him as she stepped closer and stopped close enough to carry on a quiet conversation.
"Captain Sui Feng," he replied as I felt him nod at her.
"Am I correct in assuming you know the situation?" She asked.
"Kurosaki and Lieutenant Madarame explained what happened and I've seen the history of the situation," he replied.
"Seen the history?" She asked.
Toshiro briefly detailed what my zanpakuto had shown us, leaving her to let out a sigh when he was done.
"So this is related to that incident," she said as she shifted, her posture becoming less rigid.
"Yes," he confirmed.
"She will still need to surrender her zanpakuto until a formal investigation can take place," she said just loud enough for us to hear.
"I will take care of the formal proceedings," he said with a nod.
They were silent for a long moment and I knew they were exchanging some sort of look. I shrank further under the weight of the silence and realized that I had started shaking again.
Captain Sui Feng let out a rough sigh and turned away from us. "The Head Captain will be the judge of this situation. Killing just one possessed Soul Reaper isn't worth the time of the Central 46, especially when considering the history of the situation that started a thousand years ago. Squad 2 and the stealth force cannot serve as a neutral party in this recent development due to our involvement in the situation, so we will withdraw."
"Neutral Party?" Kazui asked as he stepped up beside Toshiro.
"This does not involve you, Kurosaki." Captain Sui Feng glanced over to him before her gaze wandered over the executive militia that surrounded us. "But, my opinion of the matter isn't conducive to this situation. If it were me, I would have killed him. But, Ria Yamamoto isn't capable of making that call as a ranking member below Lieutenant, and has therefore broken the law."
"I will take care of it," Toshiro said.
"I trust that you will, Captain Hitsugaya," she said before she slipped away in a flash step, closely followed by the executive militia.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Kazui asked, not bothering to even wait for the air to settle from their departure.
"No," Toshiro replied. "Thank you though, for looking after her in my absence."
"It wasn't a problem, but I wish I had done more," Kazui replied before he turned around.
I heard the soft words that passed between Kazui and Ikkaku before they both seemed to vanish from the area, leaving Toshiro and I alone. Knowing it was just the two of us, I stopped trying to hide in his sleeve and let myself relax just a little. The shaking that my zanpakuto's show had caused made my knees buckle, but with Toshiro's arms still wrapped so tightly around me I didn't have to worry about falling. He,must have noticed because I felt his grip shift just before he knelt and swept my legs out from under me, catching me in his arms.
I didn't protest his movements, instead finding purchase in his shihakusho and turning into him to hide my face from the rain. He transitioned into a flash step and I covered my kanzashi with my hand to keep it from falling out with his the force of his movement. I couldn't stop my mind from running through what I had done, the sight of what I had turned Amagi into. I couldn't seem to unsee the pile of flesh, Amagi's zanpakuto stuck in the middle of it.
I startled a little when Toshiro's hand covered mine, pulling my hand down from where I was still covering my kanzashi. I blinked up at him, surprised to find myself sitting on the floor of his bathroom. I hadn't noticed him setting me down or moving to kneel in front of me, but as I met his aquamarine eyes, I realized that I had lost myself in my thoughts.
His tense gaze softened when he realized that I was actually looking him and he murmured, "you're getting shocky on me."
"Sorry," I mumbled. "I didn't realize it."
He took my hands and brought them together in front of me, holding them between his hands. With the light in the room I could see the discoloration that remained on my skin from the blood, but it only covered my palm and inner arm. My arm guard had kept most of it from touching my skin. I started to turn my gaze further down myself, but Toshiro caught my attention when he pulled my hands towards him. He kissed my knuckles, not caring that my one hand was stained as he moved from one to the next.
"We need to get you out of that shihakusho," he said gently. I nodded pulled my hands back so I could untie my sash. Tankyu no Unmei's sash easily came undone unlike the sash that held my uniform closed, my fingers having seemingly gone dumb because I couldn't get the knot untied and gave up with a frustrated sigh.
"It's okay," he cooed as his hands found my stubborn sash. He didn't bother trying to untie it, instead setting his grip on the band away from the knot. He tore the fabric with sheer strength, jerking my body with the force.
He helped me slip out of my shihakusho, taking over certain tasks that just frustrated me when I couldn't do them. I felt like an idiot even though I knew it was partially due to the energy drain from my zanpakuto's display of the past. I was thankful to find that Amagi's blood hadn't soaked through more than the first layer of my uniform, leaving my skin mostly clear. It made washing away the taint of his blood minimal and less stressful. I hadn't ever worried about getting blood out from under my nails and quickly became angered when I couldn't make it go away, but Toshiro knew exactly what to do, stepping in when my movements became stiff with irritation.
Toshiro stripped off his top and helped me wash the rest of the way when I couldn't seem to do it myself. It was frustrating, but my hands didn't want to listen to me. They felt fat and stupid, and I knew it was just from shock. All I could seem to think about was the way it had felt. The hot splatter of fluids, the sudden relief of pressure on my fingers when the reishi exploded, the clicking sensation in my head when he had tried to control me…
Lips pressed against my own and I knew it was Toshiro. I kissed him back tentatively as my eyes slid closed. He let out a soft, chilled sigh and with his lips brushing mine he said, "come back to me."
"His last command was regret," I explained. "I can't seem to get him out of my head. The pile of flesh I turned him into didn't make sense at first, but the moment that I actually saw and understood it, that image is burned into my mind."
"Some things you will never forget," he murmured. "You can let it change you, and end up like I had, or you can move on and keep it as exactly what it is: a memory."
I opened my eyes and gazed into his that were only inches away. I had told myself that I would never ask him what happened, but looking into his tender aquamarine stare, I wanted to. I wanted to ask so badly that it temporarily overwhelmed the gory images running through my head.
"Wh-" I opened my mouth to ask and stopped myself mid word.
"What happened?" He finished for me.
"I'm sorry, it's not my place to ask," I said.
"Not your place?" He asked, clearly confused by my choice of words.
I dropped his gaze as a blush flushed across my cheeks. "Your past is your past. It doesn't change the way I feel, and I figured if you needed to tell me, you would."
"Ria." The way he said my name made me meet his eyes once more with curiosity. His hands closed over my cheeks, cradling my head in his palms as he ran a caressing thumb across my skin. "If you want to know, ask."
"It's not my place," I said, shaking my head slightly
"If it's not your place, then whose is it?" He asked.
"I-I don't know," I admitted. He let out an almost laughing sigh and the angered tension I had been feeling in him since he found me seemed to drain away. He kissed me, leaning forward and pushing me all way back until I was lying on the cool tile floor with him above me.
"I'm going to make you forget about everything tonight," he crooned as his hands trailed down my body. "If I hear one word about Kyoruni or Mitsuji, I won't let you go until dawn."
"Toshiro, this isn't-" he silenced me with a kiss that dominated my mouth, stealing my words away.
"If now isn't the time, then when is?" he asked gently.
I tried to formulate an answer for him, but my mouth just opened and closed wordlessly. He must have known that I didn't have an answer for him because he let his weight press me into the tiles, his lower body pinning mine.
"Let me comfort you, tend to your emotional wounds before they become scars," he said, the susseration of his voice pulling at things low in my body.
"I-I'm all shocky and shaking," I mumbled hesitantly. "I won't be any good."
"I said comfort, not mind blowing sex," he said, grinning.
I flushed red at the bluntness of his words. "With the way you say it, I don't understand the difference."
He let out a slow sigh than fogged the air with it's chill as it traced along my skin. "I'll show you."
Note from the Author: Sometimes I really wish that I could actually go into more details than this website allows. Sigh... But, now that that's fixed, we can move on with the rest of the story. Sorry for taking so long to get those chapters out. I'll be averaging 1-2 weeks per chapter, depending on length. I was tempted to post this one last weekend, but it just didn't stop at a point I liked. Thank you all for the reviews!