The Cruel Hand of Fate.
The Cruel Hand of Fate 6
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
It had been a month since Susan had told John in his quarters. Most of the crew still did not know. In fact only she, Stephen John and Michael knew. Only she and John knew who the father was. However she was relieved that Stephen and Michael were not only supporting but also unassuming and didn't try to bother her about who the father was. This surprised her seeing as being a blood hound was part of Michael's nature.
The war was as bitter as ever. But the battle John was fighting internally was even worse. He felt terrible that he was allowing Susan to go through this alone. Part of him was telling himself that she didn't want him the other part was saying she had just said that so as not to inconvenience him. Only she was going to have a child alone. A child who would see him nearly everyday and never know he was it's father. He wouldn't be there for any of the important moments. It would never love him or call him daddy.
And Susan. He knew he loved her now. But did she love him? They were no longer Earth Force so that didn't matter any more.
Surprisingly nothing had changed. They still saw each other both for work and leisure. Although due to the war the leisure was limited. It was at such a meeting when Susan was over four months along that John first saw sign of his child.
They were at a Airhearts. Susan was wearing a sleeveless black dress that fell to her knees. It was loose so it was hard to see but when she sat down and leaned forward a bit he could see a little swelling around her waist. He had been unable to tear his eyes from the sight.
That night as everyone was leaving he offered to walk her back. She looked at him questioningly, but he revealed nothing. He said something about the weapons and such until they reached her door, before he asked," Susan will you join me for dinner tomorrow?"
He quickly fell back a bit, expecting a slap or a punch. Instead he received a smile and a " sure, where?"
" Fresh Air. I will come pick you at 1900. okay?"
She nodded and entered her quarters thanking him. He smiled then raced back to his quarters with a smile on his face.
The next day, John in a crisp suit of navy blue rang the bell at Susan's quarters. In his hand were a dozen red roses which out in space had cost him a small fortune. Oh well, he didn't have anything to spend it on.
She called for him to enter. He did so and did not find her in the living room. The door to her bedroom was open. She was standing in front of the dressing table. He stood in the threshold. She turned and smiled. She was wearing a long sleeveless silver satin gown with matching earrings and a pendant neck less.
Her hair was loose. Her lips were gently painted . She wore silver healed shoes. There was only the slightest hint of pregnancy only notice able to those who knew to look. She gasped at the flowers making him glad he had brought them. She thanked him and put the in a vase before he lead her out.
Two hours later he returned her to her quarters, terrified of wearing her out. They had spoken about their childhoods, about work, about academy. About anything but what they needed to talk about. He wasn't able to bring up the child or that he wanted to be part of both their lives. That he wanted to marry her and have a half a dozen children. Instead he listened to her talk about the sea in Saint Petersburg. He told her about the family farm and his parents and sister and two younger brothers.
At least she didn't hate him. She hadn't mentioned the child either or his conception. She didn't say she loved him. But she didn't hate him either. At least that was something.