"An attack?" Keller asked, flustered.
"An attack," Galen repeated, leaning his head against the back of the couch.
Keller stood silently for a minute, waiting for him to continue, but he seemed to be too busy memorizing the ceiling.
"Could you tell me the location of this attack?" Keller asked impatiently. "Or would you rather just communicate with me telepathically?"
Galen broke his eyes away from the ceiling then, looking at Keller with a pained expression. Keller felt a twinge of regret for using such a hurried tone when he was obviously under enough stress.
"Here," he said in a factual voice. "They're going to attack Iliana's house."
"Here?" she repeated. "They're going to attack here?"
Keller knew that she sounded like an idiot, spiting back his very words. She waited for some sort of scornful remark, but instead of mocking her Galen just nodded.
"Well," she began, exhaling loudly, "that changes things."
"What do you mean?" he questioned, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
Keller strode across the room to stand directly in front of Galen. She waited for him to reopen his eyes, tapping her foot lightly on the floor. When he did open his eyes again, they widened briefly in surprise.
"Galen, I don't think you have enough faith in our abilities," Keller accused dryly, returning his surprised look with an amused one.
Keller watched as Galen's surprise rapidly turned to shock. "What do you mean?" He asked again forcefully, leaning forward in his seat.
Keller put her hands on her hips and smiled patiently at him. "Galen, we have more wards on this house than we even need. And Winnie is a very powerful witch, Circle Daybreak wouldn't have chosen her for this if she wasn't, so her wards are as strong as they come – "
"That's why you think I'm overreacting?" He asked, cutting her off, "Because we have wards?"
Keller scowled and opened her mouth, about to tell off Galen for interrupting her, but he was already continuing.
"Keller the wards are strong but they are definitely not perfect," he said, staring at her disbelievingly. "They can be broken."
Keller let out an exasperated sigh and crossed her arms. "Well yes they could be," she agreed patronizingly, "But it would take a witch as skilled as Winnie to break them, and then it would take an enormous force to even have the possibility of overpowering us," she concluded.
Galen said nothing when she was finished, a fact that irritated Keller because she felt that her statement was worthy of immediate agreement, and also because it was slightly frightening to have to wait while Galen looked so troubled and try to figure out what could be going on in his head.
"Well?" She prompted agitatedly, fed up with the prolonged silences.
Galen lowered his eyes and brought his elbows to rest on his knees, intertwining his fingers. "Like one hundred?" he asked quietly.
Keller felt her eyes widen. "One hundred?" she repeated slowly. "Are you telling me that there's going to be an attack of one hundred on Iliana's house?"
Galen nodded, closing his eyes again as if trying to shut out the world around him.
One hundred, Keller thought dazedly, shock surging through her. At most she had imagined forty or fifty, some reasonable number with only two digits. She tried to picture an army of one hundred surrounding Iliana's house, pouring out into the street. That thought alone was disturbing, but then another one crossed her mind.
"One hundred what?" She asked Galen, who was mumbling something under his breath. He looked up at her, his eyes questioning. "One hundred of what?" Keller repeated anxiously.
Understanding crossed Galen's face. "Shape-shifters mostly," he said, "A few vampires and werewolves, and at least one witch," he added.
Keller was quiet for a minute, her mind racing.
"No," she began, not allowing herself to believe what Galen was telling her, "They wouldn't do this, the Night World wouldn't risk this kind of exposure or an all out war, not until they were sure that they had the upper hand," she reasoned, looking to Galen for reassurance.
She searched his eyes desperately, but found no such thing. There was only bitter truth and acceptance, and maybe even a little pity for her denial.
"Keller, this isn't an all out war," he explained emotionlessly. "It's just an attack to them, something to make sure that they do have the upper hand," he told her, his voice breaking when he said the last part. Thinking about Iliana, Keller realized. She was, in this case, the upper hand that the Night World needed.
"As for the exposure," Galen continued, "They don't care anymore, in fact in their minds it's probably time for them to show themselves, to be able to come out in the world without hiding." He stopped again, rubbing his eyes. "Its time for the human race to know about them," he said finally.
At this Keller snapped, anger flooding through her for what seemed to be the millionth time that day.
"How could your parents let this happen?" She yelled, causing Galen to jump slightly. He looked at her, alarmed. "What is the first house doing, just sitting there allowing this to go on?" She asked.
Galen's alarm turned to shame as he gazed at Keller. "I don't know what they're doing, but I know that they won't try to stop this," he said in a low voice. "They won't risk losing more shape-shifters until it's absolutely necessary."
"Not even for their son?" Keller asked incredulously.
Galen shook his head.
Keller's mind reeled. "So we're completely alone," she said, more to herself than to Galen. It was hard to even entertain the thought of taking on an army of one hundred with only a team of three, let alone convince herself that this was to be her fate. She was good, as were Winnie and Nissa, but not even their extensive training had prepared them for an attack like this. There wasn't even the slightest chance of winning. It was impossible.
Keller suddenly felt dizzy and lightheaded. She stumbled slightly trying to make her way over to the mantel. She rested her hand on the wooden edge, thankful for something to steady her.
Breathe, she reminded herself. It will only make things worse if you pass out on the floor.
But how could she breathe, knowing what they were faced with. A crushing fear began to fill her, knowing that she was virtually powerless against an army of one hundred. If they tried to fight, they would die. Keller was certain of this. But if they didn't try, it would be the worst kind of cowardice.
So try, a reasonable voice in Keller's mind suggested. Get Iliana and Galen somewhere safe, leave Winnie or Nissa with them, and fight. You're expendable.
Keller listened to the voice with sad acceptance. It made sense, the plan that it had formed. And it was very right, she was expendable. She supposed that it made more sense for her to die in battle than anywhere else.
"Galen, do you know when the attack is going to be?" She asked in a hard voice, keeping her eyes glued to the floor.
She heard Galen shift in his seat. "Two days from now, maybe three," he told her.
Keller's breath caught. Her legs started to wobble underneath her, and her head throbbed excruciatingly.
A week, she had expected at least a week. Two or three days… that was nothing. A raw pain in her stomach began to gnaw at her as she thought about how close she was to death. The pain was devastating and cold. She felt like someone had ripped out a part of her midriff and stuffed it with ice, and replaced the blood in her veins with liquid nitrogen.
It's alright though, she thought halfheartedly, trying to focus on what needed to be done. As long as you can save Galen and Iliana, nothing else matters.
"Keller, are you ok?" Galen asked quietly. Out of her peripheral vision, Keller saw him get up and start walking over towards her. She stiffened in response.
"I'm fine," she said curtly, turning away from him. Galen stopped, still at least a foot away from her.
"So…," Keller began, trying to slow her thoughts, "either the day before the solstice ceremony, or the day of," she realized, her mind thankfully drifting back into focus. "That's when the attack will happen?"
Galen moved another step toward her. Something in her expression must have made him change his mind though, because he immediately took two steps back. "Yes, or at least that's what I heard," he said gravely.
"Alright," Keller responded. Breathing in as deeply and as steadily as she could, she tried to get her thoughts in order. First, she would have to talk to Winnie and Nissa. She had to explain this to them, at least once she could start believing it herself. They would be level headed about it, Keller was sure of this. She would also have to find a place for Iliana and Galen to hide, somewhere safe where either Winnie or Nissa could protect them. And Iliana's family would just have to be convinced that they needed to go on a long vacation. Winnie could see to that.
This will work, Keller told herself. The people who matter will be safe, they have to be.
Glancing sideways, Keller realized that Galen had begun pacing again, this time more vigorously.
"Galen, are you ok?" She asked reluctantly.
Galen stopped and looked at her. He said nothing, only watched her with anxious eyes. Keller realized that she had never seen him so nervous and uptight before. He was so…not calm.
"Galen," she said again when he didn't respond. Keller watched as his gaze slipped from her to the window, his eyes becoming wistful.
"They're going to destroy the house," he said quietly. "Everything, all of Iliana's possessions, her memories, the place where she grew up will be gone," he continued, his voice fading until it was barely audible.
Keller could only stare at him when he was finished. "That's what this is about?" She asked angrily, "The fact that Iliana won't have her stuff anymore?"
"No," Galen said defensively. Much to Keller's surprise, his eyes were brimming with tears. He stood silent, looking so frightened and miserable that Keller dared not speak. "It's not because of that," Galen whispered, lowering his eyes to the floor. One single tear slid down his cheek.
"Then what?" Keller asked, all thoughts about her own troubles slipping away and replaced by concern for Galen's.
"Keller," Galen said in small voice, wiping away the lone tear with his sleeve, "I heard something else, something that that shape-shifters said in the alley."
"What did they say?" Keller inquired rigidly.
"They were talking about Iliana," Galen told her, running a quivering hand through his hair. "They were talking…about the things that they were going to do to her, if they caught her" he said, his voice shaking as violently as his hand. He looked at Keller. "Torturous, inhuman, monstrous things," he continued brokenly, "And it just, it just –" Galen broke off, and began to inhale deeply.
Keller's heart began to pound violently as she watched him. Inside her was a mixture of hatred for the cruel twist of fate that would cause Galen so much pain, and hatred for herself for caring so much. It was hurting her to see him this way.
Even she couldn't imagine the kind of person who would torture someone as kind and pure as Iliana. She couldn't even bring herself to feel jealous of Galen's obvious attachment or devotion to Iliana, a fact that actually gave her a small bit of comfort, knowing that she hadn't lost all of her compassion.
For Galen to have to listen to those shape-shifters not only talk about Iliana's torture, but to describe it in detail, must have been devastating. Keller couldn't imagine having to listen to someone talk about torturing Winnie, or Nissa, or Galen or –
Keller laughed at herself, surprised at where her mind had gone. For the strangest reason, Brett had popped into her head. Of course she would be unsettled by hearing about his torture, but it wouldn't be necessarily devastating to her.
"Galen," she said in a soft but determined voice, brushing all other thoughts aside, "They will never get to Iliana. I swear on my life, nothing will happen to her."
Galen's head rose from its resting place in his hands. He looked at Keller, his tear filled eyes shining with so much trust and admiration that she felt a tingle go down her spine.
Keller could feel her defenses breaking down as she looked at him. She knew that her hard expression was falling away. All of the feelings that she had been trying to repress were resurfacing again, more quickly and more powerfully than ever before.
It was wrong, she couldn't deny that. It was going against everything that she had sworn to do, everything that Circle Daybreak had ordered her to do. It was giving into weakness, which meant that it was going against one of her strongest beliefs. Of all this she was fully aware, but at that moment she couldn't have cared less.
Galen began to walk towards her, hesitantly. Keller held her breath as he neared her.
Stop, a small voice in her mind urged desperately. Keller, for once, ignored it.
Suddenly Galen was right in front of her. Instead of backing away as she knew she should have, Keller moved a step towards him, feeling a rush as she did so.
If he tells me he loves me, I'll be happy, she thought wildly. I could die happy knowing that he still loved me.
The moment that the thought had crossed her mind, she was unable to drive it away. A part of her, the less willful part at the moment, knew the significance and danger of this realization. It was fighting with the dominant part of her that was embracing the liberation of finally admitting what she felt.
It lost.
She felt the question rise in her throat, threatening to escape, when Galen opened his mouth.
"Thank you," was all he said.
Keller waited with anticipation for him to say something, anything else. As the minutes passed by however, her hopes began to spiral down. She became painfully aware of the ticking of the clock, every tick sending her into a deeper state of dejection.
So I die alone and unloved, Keller thought darkly, feeling her mother's words creeping into her mind. You were right mom, she laughed bitterly.
She didn't even know to whom she was speaking.
"Keller," Galen said, reaching for her. His gentle tone seared her ears, bringing her into an entirely new level of misery. How could he not know?
"I'm fine," she told him for the second time. She had never meant it less.
"No you're not," Galen countered, sounding beyond concerned. "Keller I can tell, something's wrong." He put hand on her shoulder then, sending Keller into a confused, warm state. She had to fight with all of her strength to keep her thoughts from becoming muddled. "Is it the attack?" She heard Galen continue, "Is it the pressure, because I promise, we're all going to help in any way we can," he assured her hurriedly. "Just let me help you," he pleaded, his eyes burning with intensity.
"You can't," Keller said emptily, trying in vain to shake him off.
"If you would just tell me what it is, I think I could," he responded determinedly, tightening his grip.
"Galen, please just stop asking me," she asked, desperation creeping into her voice. "You really don't want to know, and I can handle it on my own," she told him, trying to muster a look that would back up her words.
Galen didn't look like he was buying it at all. "Keller, please," he begged, his voice filled with so much emotion that Keller was sure she could actually feel what he felt just by hearing it. She knew she was breaking down, her last thread of strength and self control unraveling quickly.
"You want to know what's wrong with me?" She demanded loudly, a mixture of emotions coming out in her trembling voice. She ripped Galen's hand off from her shoulder, ignoring his horrified expression. "You want to help me, analyze me, try to understand my tortured soul?" She asked, her voice dripping with bitter sarcasm. "Do you really want to know?" she asked again, her voice nearing a scream.
Galen, who was looking at her as if he was watching a terrible storm unfolding before him, only nodded.
Keller felt the breath leave her. She hadn't been ready to continue. She was expecting that certainly after an outburst like that Galen would have reconsidered wanting to be anywhere near her ever again.
Now that she was about to tell him, she found that she couldn't say it as loud as she had delivered her last few words. It was like her wall of anger and frustration had fallen away, leaving her completely vulnerable.
"Are you in love with Iliana?" She asked quietly, sounding almost childlike.
The silence that answered her was conformation enough. She waited to be filled with anger or devastation, some sort of emotion that would be suitable for this situation. Instead she felt only emptiness.
"Well, that's good," she said monotonously.
"Keller," Galen began, his voice hesitant, "I thought that…you would be happy about it."
So it is true, Keller thought, oddly still too numb to be hurt by actually hearing it from Galen. Maybe her emotions had just been shot for the day. One could only feel so much in twenty-four hours.
"Yes, I'm ecstatic really," she replied, her sarcasm falling flat.
A look of confusion crossed Galen's face. "You told me that this was what needed to happen," he continued, his tone bordering on accusing. "You said that this was a good thing."
"Yes it is," Keller responded, unable to sound as strong as she would have liked. "This is a very good thing," she stopped, letting out a long breath, "I guess I was just surprised, that's all."
"Why would you be surprised?" Galen asked, almost the moment she finished speaking.
Keller gave him a weak exasperated look, hating where this was leading.
"I was just surprised," she began to say slowly, "that it happened so soon." She gave him a nod, as if to signify that the conversation was over.
"So soon after what?" Galen asked, refusing to drop the subject. "After us?"
Keller felt herself tense. The way that he had said "us" was like the word repulsed him.
"Maybe," she said finally through clenched teeth. "It was only a few days ago you know."
Galen stared at her, his mouth half open. "You were the one who said that it meant nothing, that it was a mistake," he said, his voice disbelieving. "How can you blame me for doing exactly what you told me to do? Is it such a crime that I'm actually happy about it now?" He challenged angrily.
"Fine," Keller screeched. Her face was burning, and there was a painful tug behind her eyes. She covered her face with her hands, feeling the shame and rage boil inside her. "I'm sorry that I assumed that maybe you still cared, I'm sorry that maybe I still care, I'm stupid and selfish, and I'm sorry," she spat. "Now just go!" she yelled, pointing a shaking finger towards the door.
Galen turned and walked toward it without another word.
Keller watched him go, letting out a soft, chocked sound as soon as he was out of earshot. Breathing raggedly, she walked backwards until she was up against the wall. She slid down slowly, removing her hands from her face and resting them lightly on the floor beside her. With unseeing eyes she stared at the wall across from her, wondering how her life could possibly have been more disappointing.