FLCL Universe
Chapter 6
We're Getting Off Of This Planet!
Pandy, Retro, and Naota all planned to do one thing and one thing only: Steal a ship, and leave Aquay. But there are questions to be answered, as Naota wonders why Pandy and Retro are looking to help him and how they know Haruko.
(…if only you guys knew…how I actually felt…)
Naota: Dammit, YOU GUYS!
Echo: GUYS….GUYS….GUYS…guys…
*Off in the distance*
Guard #1: Hey, what was that?
Guard #2: I don't know, probably just a bird.
Guard #1: That's what I thought.
*Back*
Pandy and Retro stare at him for a moment, as Naota hyperventilates from such a loud yell.
Naota: Can you…please…tell me…how do know Haruko?
Retro grabs Naota by his shirt collar.
Retro: Are you trying to get us killed, there are guards everywhere!
Pandy: Naota, I promise you, we're not here to screw you over. I just don't have time to tell you the whole story, right now. So if you just come with us, steal the ship, we're going to her current residing planet. She's been there since the last time I was there, so I doubt she left.
Naota: Where is that planet?
Retro: In another system.
Naota: WHERE?!
Pandy: Stop being difficult!
Pandy slaps Naota with a really big trout that was pulled from nowhere, and then walks off towards the car.
Pandy: Now, let's go! We don't have all day!
Naota paused for a moment in shock.
Naota thought, 'I better just go with it, I don't have a clue where Haruko is…and even if they don't, I don't have much to lose right now.'
He hopped onto his scooter and fired up the engine.
Pandy: Just wait for the signal, ya hear?
Retro: Ahh, Fuck the signal! Just go with it.
Pandy: Why do you always contradict me?
Retro: To see how mad you'll get! *muah!*
Retro kisses her in a really flirty manner.
They both hop in the car and fire it up.
Retro: Give 'em hell, kid.
Naota: Wait, what am I supposed to do?!
They drive away immediately through the chained gate, and into the heavily guarded government airfield. Immediately, every guard there started shooting at them.
Naota: I would have suggested a quieter entrance, but whatever.
*in the car*
As Pandy drove, Retro shot at the soldiers with his machine gun.
Retro: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Take that suckers!
Retro drilled out soldiers, one-by-one, perfect shooting. Pandy, on the other hand, was driving the car, maneuvering, and going around 80 mph.
Retro: Turn left, that's where all the ships are!
Pandy kept going straight, toward the air-traffic control tower.
Retro: What are you doing?!
Pandy: Just following and old lesson I learned once.
Retro: What the fuck? Trying to get us killed?!
Pandy: No, I'll explain later.
Retro: No, why are we going there? It's pointless!
Pandy: You always have to confirm all incoming flights to the planet we're going to with air traffic control of the planet that the ship is leaving from.
Retro: No, forget it, we'll improvise when we get there; we're outlaws!
Pandy: It's tightly secured, we'll get shot down while we're still in space by their space turrets. Trust me; we need to confirm it using their government controlled tower.
Retro: No, No, No, No!
Pandy: Ok! How About this!
Pandy slams on the breaks, Retro flies head first out of the windshield at the foot of the air-traffic control tower.
Retro: AHHHHHHH!!
Retro's monitor face appeared to have a big crack down the middle, for a moment.
Retro: …you…b..bitch…ughhh…
Pandy: You take the car, steal a ship, and contact me on my radio.
Pandy hops out of the car.
Retro: …fine…just…help me up…
Pandy: No time!
Pandy runs into the control tower entrance.
Retro: Fine.
As Retro gets up, he looks up to notice 4 fully loaded squad Jeeps coming his way.
Retro: SHIT!
He jumped into the car (half of the windshield is missing) and speeds off toward the ships.
*Meanwhile, Naota waited*
Naota: Shit, if I wait out here too long, I might get arrested.
Naota decides to drive into the base, full speed ahead.
Naota's scooter radio: *static*…come in, Naota!...*static*….
Naota: Retro?
Retro *Radio*: Yeah…listen I have a situ-…*static*…
Naota: What?
Retro *Radio*: Just meet me at the shi-…*static*…I'll explain there!…*static*…
Naota: All I can hear is static!
Retro *Radio*: Well how's this….*static*….
*at Retro's car*
Retro: YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS TO THE SHIP YARD, I'M GOING TO DIE BECAUSE THERE ARE THREE SQUAD CARS SHOOTING AT ME AT ONCE!
*at Naota's scooter*
Retro *Radio*: DO I MA-….*static*…CLEAR?
Naota: Alright, gotcha.
Retro *Radio*: Alright, well hurry. I'm getting pretty fucked up over…*static*…*static*…*more static*…
Naota: Out, I guess.
Naota switches the radio off.
Naota: I didn't hear a word he just said, just something about an ass and a ship…
What Naota Heard: *static*… YOUR ASS…*static*…SHIP YAR-…*static*….I'M GOING TO DIE...*static*…AT ONCE!
Just then, a squad car spotted Naota, and began pursuing him.
Squad Car Megaphone: You there, scooter! Didn't your mama ever buy you a car?!
There was an echoing laugh in the background.
Squad Car Megaphone: Shh! Shh! Quiet!....*hahaha*…*dude what is wrong with that guy*...So, who made that thing? Looks like a toddler's scooter!...*hahahahaha!*…
Naota: Wow…
Naota stands up with two feet on his scooter's seat.
Soldier #1: What's he doing?
Soldier #2: I dunno, showing off?
Squad Car Megaphone: You There! I order you to get back on the scooter and leave or I will shoot you to death, is that clear?!
Naota: Not this time…
Naota jumps high into the air and does a backflip.
*slow motion*
Naota *reverb*: I've come too far to die like this.
Naota holds out his hand and channels his Rickenbacker bass-guitar out of thin air.
*normal speed*
Soldier #1: Ehh?!
Naota: YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!
Naota swings down at the squad car. The bass-guitar fires an aura beam straight to them.
All soldiers: WHAT THE FU-…AHHHHH!!!
The squad car went flying through the horizon.
*back in the city*
Restaurant Keeper kicks Amarao out into the street; he lands on his face.
Keeper: …and stay out! Wastin' all muh time and money!
Amarao gets up off of the ground.
Amarao: Finally! Free from washing all those dishes, but who knows where Naota went?
Amarao looks up into the sky and sees a white light flying through it.
Amarao: I wonder if wishes could come true…oh, shooting star, be my guide!
Amarao notices that the light is getting bigger, almost as if it's flying toward him.
Amarao: Wow, that shooting star sure is getting closer.
Amarao: Oh well, I wish-AHHHH!
Just, then the shooting star turned into the flying squad car and nails him head-on.
Amarao: BLAST YOU! I JUST KNOW THIS WAS NAOTA'S FAUUULT!!!!!!
The collision takes the squad car and Commander Amarao straight into the ocean.
*Meanwhile, In the Air-Traffic Control Tower*
Pandy looks around the building,
Pandy: I can't climb to the top, too risky, they'll see me; looks like my only way in is through the main entrance.
She covers next to the entrance, checks both sides, and notices quite a few guards on the ground floor.
Pandy: Ok, well here goes!
She pulls a sleep grenade out of a holster and puts her gas mask on.
Pandy: You're all in for a treat…
Soldier: Hey, I think I hear something; I'll go check it out.
Pandy hides behind the door, which was wide open. The soldier walked outside, looked around, carefully.
Soldier: Hey! I think we're good.
Just then, Pandy hits him with the door, luckily on the head, knocking him straight out.
Pandy: Hmm…This might work better!
*a few minutes later*
Pandy walks into the tower, dressed in the soldier's clothes; All of the soldiers took notice.
Soldier 1: Woooo! Damn, girl, when did we get a hottie like yourself on the force?
Soldier 2: First day on patrol? Mind if I show you around?
Soldier 3: Hey, hey, Now; She's gonna choose me! *Wink*
Pandy: Oh, you boys! I've been here a while, don't give me that!
Soldier 4: Awww, Sorry! We didn't recognize you! But, if you want to get together later…
Pandy gets up into his face,
Pandy: I'll see if my schedule is clear…*smooch*
She walks toward the stair case,
Pandy: See you boys later, it's late and I'm retiring to my quarters.
All Soldiers: Good Night, Babe!
Pandy: Night!
She walks up the stairs, laughing to herself.
Pandy: Wow, that was too easy…now if I can only find the main ventilation system.
Female Voice: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
Pandy turns around to find another female soldier.
Girl Soldier: Just who exactly are you?
Pandy: A soldier, just like you.
Girl Soldier: I don't buy that for a second!
Pandy pulls out her pistol and shoots her in the head, killing her.
Soldier: What the hell was that?!
Suddenly, an alarm began to sound.
ALARM: SECURITY BREACH, LOCATE AND EXECUTE PROBLEM NOW.
Pandy: Oh, FUCK ME!
She runs forward looking for an air-conditioning vent.
Pandy: Where is it?!
Soldiers: Freeze, we have you surrounded!
Pandy throws down a flash grenade and shields her eyes.
SOLDIERS: FLASH!!!
Soldier 34: I can't see! MEDIC!
Soldier 68: I can't hear or see; we're so boned!
Soldier 8: Tell my wife and kids I love them!
Pandy finds a vent, breaks it open and climbs through.
Pandy: now to find the central ventilation system.
She climbs through for a while, following the path leading to the center of the building.
Radio: *static*….PANDY!...WHAT'S GOING ON?...*Static*
Pandy: Retro, I'm trying to get to the top and confirm our flight with the control in Metropolia, but that all comes with killing everyone in the building.
Retro *Radio*: WELL, COULD YOU HURRY?! I'M... *STATIC* … *STATIC* … REALLY … *STATIC* …HORNY….
Pandy: Haha…what?!
Retro *Radio*: I SAID…*static*
*Outside, In the car*
Retro: I'M GETTING SHOT AT FROM EVERY DIRECTION, I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP OUT HERE!! I THINK THE SOLDIERS ARE INCREDIBLY HORNY FOR DEATH!
*Inside the air vents*
Pandy: What?!
Retro *Radio*: HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!
Pandy: Well call Naota, I'm Busy right now, sheesh; Over and out!
*Back at the car*
Retro: Dammit!
He switches the radio's channel,
Retro: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU NAOTA?! I'M IN TROUBLE AND NEED BA-
Just then, Retro loses control of the car and flips over.
Retro: DAMMIT! DAMMIT ALL TO HEEEEEEEELL!
The car rolls a few more times and eventually lands upside down.
Retro: Oh, FUCK THIS.
Squad Car Megaphone: Make your way out of the vehicle with your hands up and you won't be killed right away!
Retro tries to move, but screams in pain,
Retro: OW! My rib! I think I shattered a rib! OH, IT HURTS!
Just then, Naota, surrounded by an energy bubble, hovers in front of the accident.
Squad Leader: What the hell is that thing? Fire at will!
Naota takes the guitar and throws it in to the ground neck-first, driving it into the ground. He begins to channel energy from the bubble to the bass-guitar. Suddenly, there began an earthquake
Pandy *in the vents*: Huh, What's going on?
The guitar begins to open the ground underneath the three squad cars, all the soldiers fall in along with them.
Soldiers: AHHHHH!!
Naota's energy bubble lowered him to the ground and the guitar disappeared, the aura that surrounded Naota disappeared with it.
Naota rushed over to Retro,
Naota: Let's get you out of this,
He begins to try to pull Retro out, but Retro screamed in terrible pain.
Retro: OWWWW! LEAVE ME IN HERE! I CAN'T MOVE.
Naota: No, I'm getting you out!
Naota reaches into the car and pulls Retro out by his waist.
Retro: OW!!! FUCK THIS HURTS SO BAD.
Naota: Ok, Got that over with.
He runs to his scooter and grabs the radio,
Naota: Pandy, come in!
Pandy *In the vents*: Yeah, what is it?
Naota: Retro crashed the car near the ship yard, so it looks like he hurt one of his ribs. We can't keep fighting any longer if he can't move.
Pandy *In the Vents*: Well, *grunt* you're in luck.
She acrobatically swings from one obstacle to the next room, being the ventilation room.
Pandy: I just found our ticket for our last step.
Naota *Radio*: Good, but hurry up, they might be giving us another wave soon.
Pandy: Well, no worries,
She slips on her gas mask.
Pandy: Over and out.
She pulls out 3 poison grenades.
Pandy: Looks like this may be the only way.
She pulls the pins and a moment later, poisonous gas spills out everywhere, going through the all of the air vents in the building. She looks up and notices a vent that leads straight up.
Pandy: …and away we go.
She shoots a grappling gun to the top and pulls herself all the way to the top.
*Back outside*
Retro: Shit, they're coming, aren't they?
Retro and Naota look over to see waves and waves of reinforcements; squad jeeps, infantry, helicopters; you name it.
Naota: Yeah, this doesn't look good.
Retro: I can't stand this, I'm usually the tough guy, now I can barely move; I'm laying flat on the ground!
Naota: You know what?!
Naota stood up and began to glow again, and channeled his guitar again,
Naota: We're getting off of this planet…no matter what!
To Be Continued.