Disclaimer: All SVM characters belong to Miss Harris, I'm just borrowing them for a while.

'I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then'

It had taken a good few weeks before I was once again at full strength. While I was recovering, my wonderful child ran interference for me with the King and kept the area running smoothly without me. As much as I hated to admit it I was pretty much useless, I might as well of lost an arm or a leg. I was severely vulnerable to attack and I had begun the descent into madness. Thankfully Pam had singlehandedly managed to pull me back from the brink and I couldn't have been more grateful. She really is my greatest achievement and I feel blessed to have such a loyal and caring child and I thank every deity that could be listening that I found her all those years ago. During my time convalescing I began researching blood bonds, I knew the general law surrounding them but not much on bonding hybrid creatures. The trick was trying to gather information while being discreet enough to not draw attention to the fact I had lost my bonded. It wasn't until I finally admitted defeat in all the usual sources of vampire law and contacted the 'good doctor'. Dr Ludwig was her usual pleasant self, her bedside manner was for shit but at least she was willing to help me find some answers.

After several days of sharing blood and a cornucopia of willing donors, I was finally sane enough to resume my duties. It was after a particularly tense meeting with Victor about Sookie's current whereabouts, that I eventually took the time to analyse my feelings on the part fae telepath and after some deliberation I realised I had no actual feelings for her. At first I was puzzled, I knew the love I felt for her while we were bonded was real but the more I thought about it the more I second guessed my feelings. 'Had I really felt love?' It had been centuries if I had felt the emotion at all, had I been mistaken? Not liking the idea of being tricked into feeling something. I had to laugh at the irony, all this time Sookie always said she hated the way the bond made her feel happy when I was near. I suddenly understood where she was coming from. Chalking it up to some fae compulsion, I pushed aside the last of the empty feeling inside and instantly I felt much better. Like a weigh had been lifted as soon as I acknowledged the diminished connection and my feelings about it, all the pain and uncertainty was gone. I felt like a new vampire, well much the same as I was before She walked into my life and turned it upside down.

The instant I snapped back to myself, I wanted to slap some sense into me. How the hell did I let us get into this shitty political mess? I should have sought vengeance for my Queen and rallied the Louisiana Vampires. I was a better strategist than the Nevada King, I was far older and I should have known better than to expect the vultures to keep at bay with an incapacitated Monarch. I knew exactly what I had been doing. Instead of working on a plan to keep all our heads, I was enamoured with a fairy and let my Queen's safety fall to other less careful hands. I was lucky I managed to keep my head at all. I knew I'd be kicking myself for that one for quite a while; I might never get over how far I'd slipped. Hell, I had the perfect opportunity to kill De Castro when Sigbert had us cornered behind the shifter's bar. I'd been seriously pussy-whipped; I'd never hear the last of it if I confessed as much to Pam. Then again she's too bright to not make the connection or let an opportunity to tease me relentlessly slide.

I felt Pam approach my office and realised the bar had closed. She poked her head round the door and gave me a supportive smile. She must have felt my turmoil and determination. I returned her smile and she came the rest of the way into the office and perched on the edge of my desk. Reaching up I stroked her cheek, causing her to nuzzle into my hand seeking affection and comfort. We had once again become close like we had been in the beginning of our relationship. I guess I had scared her in my helpless state and she needed reassuring every now and then that I wasn't going anywhere. It was nice to have my affection returned and be able to seek comfort in another being. Sookie had shunned me since we met and I'm not ashamed to admit my ego took a hit. Nevertheless now the blinkers had fallen from my eyes, my ego was restored and I was back to my normal egotistical self. A few moments passed in comfortable silence before I broke contact and shut down my computer. Grabbing my jacket and Pam's out stretched hand we headed for the back door together; turning lights off as we went.

After locking the door, we headed to my corvette and I slipped behind the wheel as Pam was settling herself in the passenger seat. She had been staying with me and carpooling. Tonight was my turn to drive; we had made a game out of getting home in less than 5 minutes and generally acting like teenagers to release some of the tension from being overseen so closely. It was certainly challenging even with the low level of traffic on the roads at 3am. I caught myself smiling more than once when I recognised how much fun we were having. There was quite a bit of traffic on the road tonight, so I didn't break my personal best of 4 minutes 29 seconds; still, not a bad time for a 13 minute journey across the city. We quickly got settled in the den with a blood and our laptops out; I was mindlessly checking my email when Pam turned to me.

"Okay spill, you've been in planning mode for most of the evening. What's got your brain ticking? It's been a while since I felt you this way." She looked at me carefully like she was looking for something particular, after a moment she must have found what she was looking for as she nodded in agreement to her assessment and offered, "Scheming looks good on you, you should wear it more often."

I couldn't help but laugh at her observation. "It feels good on me too." I was still debating on how to broach the subject, but in the end I thought it best to be blunt. "I think it's time for a change of management."

I laughed again at the look of shock on her face. It really couldn't be helped. Pam always prided herself on her stoic expression, but right now you could drive a bus through her open mouth.

"It's about fucking time! What's the plan so far, what can I do to help?" Her eagerness was great fully received but I never expected anything less from my Pamela.

"I'm still ruminating over a few of our options; I have run through several scenarios..." I then spent the remaining hours before dawn discussing the various options and ironing out some of the details. Although she didn't have as much experience as me, Pam had an excellent brain for strategy and brainstorming. Every day she continued to surprise me with her creativity I had begun to think it was her vampire gift; she was far beyond those of her age and experience.

I awoke to find several messages from the Shifter, understandable if Sookie hadn't decided to share her latest misadventure. Tempting as it was to delete them all without listening to them, I knew he would just turn up at the most inopportune time and cause me shit I didn't need. The first message was predictable, 'where's Sookie, what have you done with her bloodsucker, blah, blah, blah...' Delete. The next two were more of the same, delete. The last one however was most interesting, "I know something's happened to her, there is something watching her house, it's cloaked but it's there and it's big. Could you let me know if it's you? I think she's in over her head this time."

Stupid Shifter can't even recognise that she had been taken by her own kind. She's probably off somewhere with her fairy. It really isn't rocket science, ignorant mutt couldn't reason his way out of a paper bag. Delete! I had far more important things on my mind than the whereabouts of the wayward telepath. Although he had given me some interesting information, there was continued fairy activity in the area and where there's fairies trouble usually isn't far behind. Leaving the bed, I turned on my laptop as I headed to the shower. My mind remained focused on my plans and I couldn't help making the mental list of who I would contact first and further information gathering. After quickly finishing the task of cleansing my body, I grabbed a warm towel from the rack and dried off on my way back to the bedroom and the emails that awaited me. They were all fairly standard, check-ins and grievances, a couple from Pam with links to items she was hinting at for her Birthday. I just smiled and shook my head at her antics, we had discussed last night about keeping things business as usual to the 'Overseers'. It should give us the best chance at catching them unawares. Disposable cell phones, a little magic and a daemon messenger are the best way to keep it all secret. While I waited for Pam to rise, I grabbed one of my disposable phones from my desk drawer and shut down my laptop. Swiftly dialling the number for the daemon lawyer, I reclined in my chair lifting my legs to rest them on the desk.

"Good Evening Desmond, I have a job for you..."

"Ahh Northman, I was just about to contact you." I barely suppressed a groan,

"It wouldn't be about a certainly part fae telepath would it?" Trying to keep the rising anger at bay, I knew the fairies would try to screw me over one way or the other.

"Yes actually it was his Majesty Prince Brigant has solicited my services to take care of the Duchess's affairs. I'm afraid your part on the list of duties for me to deal with." His tone remained jovial even with the implied threat.

"I assure you, I have no interest in Miss Stackhouse's business or wellbeing. As the humans say, 'That ship has sailed'. So unless there is anything else I can help you with, perhaps we can address my business now, hmm?" Hoping my reply would make him drop the subject and we could get on with the matter at hand.

"Of course, of course formalities and all that. What can I do for you this evening?" And just like that it was business as usual.

"I have a few legal matters and I would like to negotiate the use of your niece."

"Provided you can agree to the standard contract I can see no problem with Diantha running messages for you. I'll email it to you now and you can look it over. I can come up to see you tomorrow and pick up the signed contract. Can I ask the nature of the assistance you'll be needing?" His tone was curious.

Putting on my sheriff assertiveness, "I'd prefer to discuss details in person, which we can do tomorrow night."

"Yes, I think I can manage that." I could hear the smile in his reply. He was certainly a great lawyer and an invaluable ally.

But before I ended the call, I had to know one thing, "So is she staying in the realm for the foreseeable future?"

"I do believe she is," He paused slightly, "Can I pass on a message to her Grace or His Highness?"

I thought for a moment, was there anything I actually wanted to say to her at this moment in time? I didn't think there was and with her in the realm, that meant no distractions or complications. A second passed before I gathered my thoughts, "Not at this time no, would it be possible to be warned if she chooses to return? She has the uncanny ability to make my life complicated in the worse way and a little warning would be gratefully received."

He let out a small chuckle, "Yes I think I can do that. I'll have to run it by the Prince first, but I can see no reason why you can't be informed." And with a last chuckle he ended the call.

By this time I could feel Pam stirring, so I quickly dialled again and left a message, before I opened the door to my chamber and headed towards my child. Vamping into the room and flinging myself on the bed beside her, she bounced several times with the added weight to the mattress. I couldn't suppress my grin; I was excited to have the initial stages of our plan underway. It felt like it had been forever since I planned and schemed on such a grand scale, my excitement must have been contagious as no sooner had my body settled on the quilt, Pam returned my broad smile. I once again relished in my vampire nature and I couldn't wait to see my plans come to fruition.

A/N: Well that was what Eric's been getting up to. Hope you like his little 'what the hell was I thinking' moment. Dont worry about any loose ends left dangling in this one, they will be addresses in later chapters. As always thanks to those who take the time to review it makes me so excited to get them, I check my emails obsessively once I've posted. Don't forget to check me out on Wordprethis chapters tend to go on there a day or two before going on here and I post updates on where I'm at in my writing.