A/N: First off...HUGE apologies for disappeaering and taking so long to update, but I'm back for the time being! Here's to hoping my writing hasn't gotten too rusty. Enjoy! ;)
Joey stares at his former self, in disbelief. The timing of Aiden's return couldn't be any worse for him.
He gives an irritable shrug. "Would it have killed the guy to call first? What are we going to do?"
He watches his own eyes wander, as Phoebe thinks it over. "Well...I don't have a choice. I'm going to have to go meet him. I mean...you are."
Joey widens his eyes. "Me!? Woah, no, no, no..." he immediately shakes his head in protest.
"Joey, come on!" Phoebe begins to desperately plead. "If I blow him off, after he went through all the trouble of coming home to see me, it's going to make me look really bad! You won't have to do anything weird, I swear! Just make a quick appearance so that he doesn't think that I don't respect him, or something..because I do! I really, really, like this guy! He's like the best thing that's ever happened to me! "
Joey sucks his teeth, still shaking his head at her ridiculous request. "So you expect me to just up and leave in the middle of a premiere party, full of casting directors, and famous people, and all kind of opportunities for me, as an actor...just to meet up with your stupid boyfriend for a few minutes? Pheebs, do you know when the last time I was invited to a premiere party was? Never! These kinds of things don't exactly happen everyday for me, if you haven't noticed!"
"What about the movie role I just got you? There will be a party for that one, too! Joey, I've done a lot of favors for you, over the years! Big favors! And this is just one little things that I'm asking you to do, and you're not even going to do it!? You know, if things were the other way around, I'd help you out! And y'know, I could leave, right now, with your body! Then you'd have no reason to be here, as me!" she threatens.
Joey raises his eyebrows. "Really, Pheebs? You'd bail on something that was important to you, to go meet up with my girlfriend? I find that hard to believe, because I seem to remember you getting pretty mad anytime I've blown you off for a girl. And this time, you're not just bailing out on me...you're asking me, to bail on me! You know what I should do? I should go meet up with him, and break up with him! It'd be the best thing I ever did for you!"
Her jaw plunges. "Why would you do that!?"
"Because, Pheebs, he's got you so blind-sided with his money, and his good-looks and everything else he's got going for him, that you don't seem to care about anyone around you, anymore. What about Rachel!? She was so excited to come here, and you're just gonna make her leave, because you want to spend time with Aiden? What about me, huh? Pheebs, you used to be my biggest supporter. Even before this switch happened, it's like you've been a completely different person since you met him! You don't wanna come to my plays, or read lines or even hang out with me..those may just seem like little things, but they're important things to me! But that doesn't matter anymore to you, does it?"
He waits for Phoebe to reply, watching his own face stare back at him, speechlessly. Maybe he was being a little harsh, but to his mind, Phoebe really needed a wake-up call. If nothing else, he hoped that his outburst would be enough to make her realize that being with Aiden wasn't the best thing for her, like she was so convinced.
However, her inablilty to answer his question proves where her loyalty truly lies. He feels a pang in his heart. Hurt feelings from his friend's out-of-character betrayal. He swallows a hard lump in his throat, finding it hard to hold back his emotions..perhaps only because he was female, now, and he wasn't used to having so many of them. Phoebe was right about one thing: It definitely wasn't easy being a girl.
"Fine." Joey finally says. "You know if you're gonna leave...I can't stop you. For one thing, you're stronger than me, now. No offense, but you've got pretty weak little arms. Just sayin'.."
Phoebe exhales, slightly offended by his comment. She tosses her head to one side, and remains silent.
"But I want you to know," Joey carries on. "That when you get back into this body, and somewhere down the road, he gets done with using you, and then you come to me expecting me to feel sorry for you? I just might not be there this time, Pheebs."
This finally results in a harsh response from her. "Nobody is using anybody, Joey! Aiden and I like each other! Why can't you understand that? Y'know, You could just be happy for me, like a real friend would do, but no..."
Joey lets out a sigh, growing weary of trying to explain something to her, that she didn't want to hear. "Whatever, Phoebe. Look, it's your call. What's it gonna be?"
He waits for her to contemplate a few seconds. At first, the faith that she might actually have a change of heart rises.
"I'm going to find Rachel." She informs him.
"Unbelievable..." Joey mutters under his breath as Phoebe disappears, momentarily. She returns a few minutes later, dragging Rachel by her wrist, as she excitedly waves and calls out to someone behind them.
"Okay, don't forget to tell Bruce to call!" She turns to her friends, and flashes the a confident smirk. "Guess who just gave their number to Bruce Willis."
"Did he ask you for your number?" Phoebe inquires.
"No." Rachel admits. "But I gave it to him, anyways. Well, to his body guard, at least. After he dragged me away from him. But he's totally into me, I can tell."
"Alright well, listen.." Phoebe begins. "We're going to have to leave now."
Rachel's expression changes. "What? Leave? Why? We just got here! We haven't even met Matt Damon, yet. Pheebs, don't you wanna meet Matt Damon?" she asks Joey.
Joey crosses his arms. He knows he's the one who's going to have to take the fall, so he decides to make it a little more satisfying for himself. "Nah. I don't care about Matt Damon. In fact, I don't care about anybody, except my boyfriend. That's why we have to leave, because I'm a selfish person who would rather be with him right now than with her friends, at this amazing party."
Phoebe shoots herself a glare from Joey's eyes. "Oh yeah!? Well..I'm selfish, too! Because God forbid Phoebe want a little bit of time with her boyfriend! She should spend every second of her life with me, because I'm far more important than Aiden, or...or the president, or..God!"
Joey appears even more offended and applaud. "Yeah, well...at least you don't still believe in Santa Claus!"
"No, but I believe that a stuffed penguin is alive!"
"Hugsie IS alive!" Joey shouts back, taking a step towards her, before Rachel steps in.
"Woah, hey! Break it up, you two! God...what has gotten into you guys, lately? Geez...Joey, you've been acting so strange lately. And Pheebs! You've been acting strange...er." she adds. "Either way, it's really freaking me out! What is going on?"
Phoebe looks up at Joey. There's a brief pause, as they both wait for the other to answer. He begins to worry that Phoebe might just spill the truth to Rachel. At this point, it might be easier if she did.
"Nothing." she finally mutters, to his relief. "Look, Rach, I'm really sorry we have to leave. I promise I'll bring you along to the next one. Daniel Craig is gonna be there." she offers, and once again, Rachel's face lights up with girlish excitement, as she gives a small gasp.
"Oh, my God! He's so pretty! You'd really bring me, Joe?"
"Of course." Phoebe answers. "In fact, I'm sure you'll be my first choice." she looks at Joey, as she emphasizes that last two words.
"Oh, don't worry, she will be." Joey bitterly assures her, which only causes Rachel more confusion, as she looks from one friend to the other.
"Well, alright then." she says, shrugging off their comments. "I'll call us a cab, and we can leave, if you really need to, Pheebs."
"Apparently, I do." Joey mumbles, as he follows his friends towards the exit. As angry as he is with Phoebe right now, he's willing to do what she wants and meet with Aiden. But he makes a mental note that this will be the last time he goes out of his way for her, for a long time.
...
On the way to Phoebe and Rachel's apartment, Joey spends every minute dreading having Aiden see him in Phoebe's body. Or rather, what he might have to do, to pull this off, believably. All week he had no trouble convincing people that he was Phoebe, but this was different. This was her boyfriend. As he starts to follow Rachel out of the cab, he notices Phoebe hanging back in her seat.
"Well, I guess I should be heading home. I've got...y'know, guy stuff to do.."
Frantically, Joey reaches over, and grabs the collar of her jacket. "You're not going anywhere." he tells her, pulling her out of the cab with him. Luckily, Rachel is preoccupied, looking down at her shoe.
"Oh, no! I broke my heel chasing down Bruce Willis! Dammit, and I think I twisted my ankle, too! Guys, I'm going to head inside. I think I need to lay in bed with an ice pack and a book before I go to bed."
"Alright, Rach. Let me know if you need anything." Joey offers, as he watches her hobble her way into the building. Once she's gone, Phoebe looks at him, her brow furrowed.
"What are you doing? I don't exactly need to be here."
"You do if your boyfriend shows up here." Joey informs her. Her eyes light up somewhat, despite their lingering tension towards each other.
"So you'll do it? You'll meet up with him?"
He lets out an exhale of defeat. "Yes. But I wanna make something very clear. There is to be no kissing, no hand-holding, no stupid pet-names, no ass-grabbing. Which is why I need you here. I don't wanna be alone with the creep for longer than I have to be."
Phoebe lets go a small scoff at the 'creep' comment. But Joey can tell that she's still grateful that he agreed to help her out. "Alright...Come inside, I have an idea."
A moment later, Joey is on Phoebe's couch, with her fluffy pink bathrobe tied tightly around himself. She returns again with a box of tissues, and a knitted couch-throw, which she drapes over Joey's shoulders. He watches as she crumples a few tissue papers throwing the around the area in front of the couch.
"There." She says, looking around, pleased with her work. "As long as he thinks that you've come down with something, that should eliminate some of the physical contact. Ooh, here." she hands him a tissue. "wipe some of that make-up off, too. I look way too good to be sick."
"You sure this is gonna work, Pheebs?" Joey asks, as he attempts to wipe off some eye make-up.
She sighs. "I sure hope so. Look...I know you're mad at me right now, but I do appreciate this, Joey. I mean, this is better than, well..not having him see me at all."
He shrugs, indifferently. "Yeah, well...I guess I do kinda owe you, for getting me a job and stuff. I guess some good has come out of us...y'know, being each other."
Phoebe smirks and nods in agreement. A knock at the door interrupts their thoughts.
"Ooh! Ooh, It's him!" Phoebe exclaims. "Uh...I'll answer the door." she takes a few steps, and stops. "No wait...you should answer it. It's your house!" she pulls Joey to his feet and gives him a pursueding nudge towards the door. "Hurry!"
Joey takes a deep breath to prepare himself before he pulls open the door. Sure enough, Aiden is on the other side. He flashes Joey one of his 'dazzling smiles' Phoebe is always raving about. It has little effect on Joey, however.
"Surprise!" he says.
Joey fills with panic when Aiden grabs her and pulls her in for what he assumes will be a very unwanted, awkward kiss. Joey quickly backs away, raising his hands in defense.
"Wait, No! No!" he cries out. He gives the most convincing cough he can muster. "See? I'm very sick. And it's very, very, contagious."
Aiden looks at him, growing concerned. "Oh no, sweetie! I didn't know you were sick. You didn't say anything in your texts."
He glances over at Phoebe, for help. "I...yeah, well...I just came down with something, right after I text you. And...I called the doctor and...it's pretty bad. I may have to stay inside for...weeks. Maybe months."
Aiden frowns. "Oh, wow. That sounds awful! Did he say what it is?"
"Yeah, it's, uhm..." Joey pauses. He remembers the name of an illness he once caught in high-school, that was horrible. "Mono."
He immediately regrets his choice, when he sees Phoebe waving her hands, and shaking her head in a signal of protest, while Aiden isn't looking. But when he looks at Aiden and sees the suspicious expression he's now wearing, he knows it's too late.
"The kissing disease? How did you get that, if I've been away all week?"
Again, Joey says the first thing that pops into his head: A story he's heard Phoebe tell about a hundred times. "Well, actually...a pimp spat in my mouth."
"It's true!" Phoebe quickly chimes in. "I know it sounds crazy, but I saw it. A pimp really did spit in her mouth, I was there. In fact, it was the same diseased pimp who spat on her and gave her hepatitis a few years back. "
Aiden looks at 'Joey', alarmed to see him, but returns his attention to 'Phoebe', and her outrageous story.
"Yeah, he really has it out for me. I mean, he tried to recruit me when I was young, and I refused, so..."
"O..kay." Aiden seems to accept this odd explanation. He must know Phoebe better than Joey thought. "Well...that's really too bad. I mean with our anniversary, and all. I know it's still a few days away, but...I got us some tickets for a show you might like.." Aiden pulls out his wallet and retrieves two tickets, which he hands to Joey.
Joey makes an attempt to pronounce the French name: "Sir-Que doo soil? The hell is that?"
Unable to contain herself, despite being in Joey's body, Phoebe gasps. "Cirque du So-lei? O-Oh my God! Oh my GOD! Aiden, you really are the best boyfriend, ever! I've always wanted to see that sho..." she pauses from her giddy bouncing, realizing she is receiving odd looks from both of them. She clears her throat. "I'm...I'm just so happy for you guys."
"Well..." Aiden shrugs. "The show is tomorrow night. But if you're not feeling well, Phoebe...I think maybe it's best you stay home, and focus on feeling better. We can go another time, it's no big deal. They're in town for two weeks, I think. Trust me, I'm still going to spoil the hell out of you, when you're all better."
Joey tries his best to refrain from cringing at the cutsie tone of voice he uses, or the way he caresses 'Phoebe's' cheek with the palm of his hand.
"It's still so great to see your pretty face, sick or not. Still, it'd be a shame to see those tickets go to waste...How about you, Joey? You seem to know the show, well enough. You wanna go?"
Phoebe widens her eyes. "Me? You mean...with you?"
"Him?" Joey repeats. He's surprised that Aiden would even suggest going with him, considering Joey's always been rather cold towards him. Aiden places an arm around 'Phoebe's' shoulders, turning her, slightly, so they're facing opposite of 'Joey', and lowers his voice.
"Hon, I thought you said you wanted me to bond with him?"
"I...I did?" Joey asks, becoming more confused.
"Yeah. I promised you I'd give it a shot. I mean, you said he's a nice guy, and you wanted us to be friends."
"I said that?" he asks, glancing at Phoebe, and feeling somewhat moved, that she would speak of him so fondly. A small pit of guilt forms in his stomach for his earlier accusations.
He turns back towards her. "Yeah." he says. "Sure, I mean, if Joey wants to go, I don't see why not."
"By the way," Aiden puts in. "It would be easy enough for me to get another ticket, if you wanted to bring a date or something, Joey. That way it's not weird...you know, two guys going to the circus together."
"Ooh! Okay! Uhm..Oh! I could bring Chandler! I bet he'd love it!"
Joey snorts. "Yeah, cause Chandler will make it seem less gay.." he mutters under his breath.
"Sure! Why not? The more the merrier." Aiden agrees, apparently not hearing Joey's comment. "I'll give you a call tomorrow, before the show starts. As for you, Beautiful..." he pauses to kiss Joey on the cheek, much to his disgust. "you better work on getting better, okay?"
"Uh-huh.." Joey mumbles, wiping off the kiss.
"I'll come and check on you tomorrow. " Aiden promises. "See you both later."
He waves, before he leaves the apartment.
A/N: One more thing worth mentioning, because I can't remember if I did or not, but I sort of have Bradley Cooper in mind, as Aiden, because I've had a major crush on him since the first Hangover movie and also, because I think he'd be well-suited for the role, for reasons I can't really explain without giving stuff away in later chapters. Anyways, thanks for reading! Hope this chapter wasn't lame! New one will be up soon! :D