Darcy tried not to let Elizabeth's absence change his routines much. He visited the Collins a few times after Elizabeth had left, but only out of courtesy, for his heart was not in it and the visits were dull and somewhat annoying. Mrs. Collins seemed to be quite pleased with herself and was especially nice to him, but he didn't care to find out why. Elizabeth and her had probably discovered his feelings and mocked him for it. He shortly ended his once frequent visits and spent more time at Rosings. After a month, however, he could not tolerate his aunt any longer and he made arrangements to return to Pemberly. Elizabeth was constantly on his mind. He went over every encounter, every word, hoping to find some hint of attachment there. But he could find none and he grew more and more dismal day by day. Their final confrontation didn't make him any happier because she had looked so frightened of him. This worried Darcy greatly and he thought of little else. Fortunately, dear Georgiana sent letters frequently and that cheered him up immensely. Though Darcy did not tell his sister of his feelings for Elizabeth, he spoke highly of her, finding he could not help himself. It felt good to speak of her, though he realized poor Georgiana must find it quite tedious and soon put an end to mentioning Elizabeth in his letters. This made responding to his sister's letters very hard since there was hardly anything else on his mind and he would sometimes takes days just to write one letter.
Lady Catherine had stopped with her hints about marrying Anne, but Darcy knew that she was merely rethinking her strategy. He wanted to be gone before she started again and so he left not a week after deciding to return home.
The ride seemed terribly long, but it was nice to see his home again. He came in and found soon found Georgiana at the piano. This didn't surprise him much. The girl was quite gifted at playing. He hoped she would continue playing because she was so talented and the song was so beautiful. He was pleased, though, when she got up as soon as he entered. She was ecstatic about seeing him.
"I hadn't heard from you in a while. I thought you must be having so much fun at Lady Catherine's that you forgot all about me," she said, joking, after they had initially greeted each other. The two siblings were very close considering their ten year age difference.
"I was merely so caught up in courting Anne that I had no time to write back," he returned. She grinned at him, then her eyes looked past him.
"Who-" she began, but she stopped and looked puzzled.
"What is it?" Darcy asked.
"I thought I saw someone, but I must be imagining it." She walked towards the window and looked out. Darcy followed, wondering what she had seen. But soon he knew.
"Ha! There is someone!" Georgiana mused. "And she's quite pretty, too."
And who should it be but Elizabeth Bennett, walking about his grounds behind a couple and Mrs. Reynolds. He noticed how natural she looked walking about Pemberly and how amazed she appeared. She seemed very respectful of it all and often would have to hurry to catch up to the rest of her group after she would stop and just look around for a moment. Darcy wasn't sure if he should be pleased or broken up over this new development, but Georgiana seemed delighted.
"I think I shall go meet her," said the young girl, leaving before Darcy was sure of what was going on. He didn't really want to see Elizabeth, not after their last confrontation. But part of him wanted to talk to her after such a long silence from her. He was torn. But his original plan further persuaded him as he remembered that he was supposed to get to know Elizabeth better. So he followed his sister, silently praying that everything would turn out okay.
Darcy soon found Georgiana and Elizabeth talking like old friends. But when Elizabeth saw him approaching, she stopped talking and began to look a bit fearful. Am I that terrifying? he thought sadly. Determined to convince her otherwise, he said "Good day, Miss Elizabeth. May I ask to what I owe this pleasure?"
She seemed agitated. "Hello, Mr. Darcy. My aunt and uncle wanted to see your estate. I merely tagged along. I hope you will not think it impertinent of me, seeing as we are acquainted."
Acquainted? He had always supposed heartbreak to be a figure of speech, but there was an aching in his chest as she said that. He had supposed them to be more than acquaintances, but she apparently did not. All his hopes were dashed away, every little bit of desire he had held onto for the past months suddenly seemed to die within him. And her obvious discomfort hurt him as well. But he tried to stay positive for the time being. So much for my plan of becoming her friend, Darcy though bitterly, but he tried to stay positive. Or at least seem that way.
"Not at all," he said, forcing a smile. Here she was, his darling Elizabeth Bennett, and she didn't want anything to do with him. She considered him and acquaintance. He quicky resolved to double his efforts to move Elizabeth out of his mind. While he knew it would be pointless to try and be happy with another woman, Darcy saw no reason to dwell on his misery every moment for the rest of his life.
He showed her the parts of Pemberly that she had not already seen and met her aunt and uncle. Elizabeth and Georgiana were also introduced and got along splendidly. He was happier spending time with Elizabeth, though Darcy knew that she didn't love him and that there was no chance of her ever doing so. She made him happy. It was that simple. And though it pained him to imagine her with another man, he was pleased that she seemed to be mildly enjoying his company.
Before too long, it was time for her and her family to leave. Darcy said goodbye to them and asked if he could come visit them later in the week. The couple seemed delighted at this, but Elizabeth looked a bit unsure.
"If I'm going to cause any inconvenience or discomfort, I'd rather you tell me instead of tolerating my company," he told them, hoping to get Elizabeth to speak up if she was that against him coming to see her.
"It's not problem at all," Elizabeth said with an obviously forced smile. Darcy bid them farewell.
"I quite like her," Georgiana said to Darcy. "And I think you do as well."
"She is very agreeable," Darcy offered. But Georgiana would not leave it at that.
"I don't see why you won't just tell her how you feel about her. She's lovely and I'm sure she cares about you." Darcy inwardly cursed himself for being too easy to read, but then considered that his sister knew him better then anyone else.
"But she doesn't, Georgiana. So why hurt myself even more?" He hadn't really spoken of his feelings to anyone and it felt odd to start now.
The girl was quiet for a moment. "I didn't realize. I'm sorry."
"It's alright. I know that I can manage. It just hurts right now," he said bluntly, leaving quickly so as not to continue the interrogation. Elizabeth Bennett didn't want him and he knew he'd have to learn to accept it. All his plans were turning to nothing and all his dreams regarding her were falling apart. He again went to bed early and looked at himself hard in the mirror.
"It seems your aunt was right," he told himself. "She never said it because she never knew, but she would have told you that love is a silly thing to get married for. Practicality is what marriage is all about. And Elizabeth is poor and has no connections. It would have been a disaster." But even as he said it, he could not convince himself. And he knew he'd have to face her again in just a few more days. He went to bed, imagining what Elizabeth would be thinking when he came to see her in a while. But he had no idea that she was just as heartbroken as he was.
Not incredibly far away, Elizabeth lay in bed, recalling the events of the day. She realized that Darcy had only been polite, nothing more. And she had seen his stricken face when he had seen her. She had imagined since their last conversation how she could tell him of her feelings, but all hopes disappeared. She knew she was in a position below him. Even if he was to love her, a marriage for hem would be impractical. But it hurt, nonetheless. Though she hadn't seen Mr. Darcy for a while, she thought of him almost always and fell more in love each day. She had hoped to see him when she returned to Longbourn, but had not prepared herself to see him at Pemberly, as she had been assured that he was not home. She had not known what to say to him at all. Now you've ruined any chance you had with him, Lizzie scolded herself. But thoughts of him simply would not do. She could not live the rest of her life mourning over him, though she knew that she could never be happy with anyone but him. It seems I'm destined to die without love, just as I said I might have to do, Elizabeth thought. She decided that tonight she would lament this terrible loss and in the morning, simply act like nothing had happened. One night for her grief. Deep down, she knew this was unrealistic, but it helped her calm down a little and feel her grief more acutely. "You've lost him," she said quietly. Then Elizabeth Bennet proceeded to cry herself to sleep for the first time in her life. However, a moment before she fell asleep, she remembered Georgiana mentioning how much Darcy had said concerning her. A bit of hope crept its way into Elizabeth as she cleared her mind and left her troubles behind for a few hours.