Slow Burn – chapter 6
Tom decided then and there, he hated hospitals, or sickbays, hated them with a mortal passion. After the successes of the last few weeks, sinking the Ramsay's and their goddamn sub, not to mention the sheer joy of finally spreading the cure to the American public, Tom had finally believed they were over the worst of things and could look to rebuilding their once proud country. The Inaugural Ball had been something else, along with his promotion and the engagement of Lieutenants Green and Foster had crowned off a glorious evening. He'd even persuaded Rachel to dance with him; she'd looked simply stunning in the black, lace dress she'd borrowed from the Judge's daughter he'd learned later.
Holding her in his arms, feeling Rachel's slender, feminine form against his had been sheer heaven. They'd begun the dance in such a formal pose, Rachel had started laughing, explaining when he'd raised an eyebrow that it felt as if they were back in high school. As the dance had progressed they'd drawn closer and closer, until he could feel her breath on his neck, and Rachel had had to fight the urge to rest her head on Tom's shoulder. Their feelings for one another might be the worst kept secret to those crew, friends, and family members who knew them well, but the proprieties had to be observed. Both were such public figures, and given their positions in the fledgling administration, alongside Tom's position as a Navy commander, reputation was all. To the world at large, Tom was still a grieving widower, he and Rachel understood that their newfound relationship would have to remain hidden for now.
When Rachel had come to see him just before she flew off on her tour of the mid-west, to spread the cure at POTUS's orders, they'd even flirted outrageously – Tom had thought he'd forgotten how, but this glorious creature had inspired him. He'd wanted so badly to kiss her, especially as she'd been due to head off on the "Cure Tour" as Mike had insisted on christening it – the Cure wasn't going to spread itself as both Rachel and the President kept reminding them. That plan, as with his own for them, had been viciously halted by an assassin's bullet; fortunately the shooter had either panicked or simply been incompetent. The shooter had shot only once and had hit Rachel's shoulder, doing considerable damage but not a fatal shot thankfully.
"I can't lose you now Rachel, please sweetheart – fight for me, for us!" Tom whispered brokenly "I can't do this without you, I don't want to – I love you so much Rachel, come back to me love!"
Despite his heartfelt plea, Rachel remained in the coma she'd been in since the lifesaving surgery she'd needed following the assassination attempt. Rios, Milowsky, and Jackson (the surgeon who'd assisted with Rachel's surgery) all told him it was the body's way of allowing Rachel to heal from the massive trauma inflicted on her, and she'd wake up when she was ready to. It seemed bitterly ironic that he was sat here waiting for her to wake up, as they'd been here like this 2 weeks ago, but then he'd been the patient.
Flashback – 2 weeks prior:
Tom watched Rachel as she slept, wishing she was asleep next to him, so he could savour the feeling of holding her in his arms, and the scent of vanilla he'd come to associate with Rachel. Even in sleep Rachel had the power to captivate him, Tom thought and he didn't care one whit, he was falling fast for her, enjoying every second of the fall.
"Please tell me you haven't been watching me drool into my pillow Tom" Rachel muttered sleepily "Not really seeing me at my best here"
Tom just laughed at her, watching as she stretched like a cat, unfurling her slender legs and trying to comb her unruly locks into some semblance of order with her fingers.
"Can I help it if you're as beautiful asleep as you are awake?" Tom replied, smiling at the blush that coloured her cheeks and crept down her neck at his words.
Rachel knew she was blushing, but when the man you've been falling for and thought you'd lost your chance with tells you you're beautiful, well anyone would blush! She felt like skipping round the room in joy, but did none of those things; instead she busied herself in checking her patient over, whilst she tried desperately to calm her racing heart.
"Rachel stop" Tom's voice halted her examination as she looked up and felt her heart begin racing again as she beheld the look in his eyes "I meant what I said yesterday, I won't hide what I feel for you anymore, I'm falling fast for you, and I couldn't be happier about it"
Rachel smiled at him, not caring if she was grinning like a loon back at him.
"I...I feel the same way Tom" She replied huskily "I've been falling for you for so long, but I tried to respect that you needed time to grieve"
"I know Rachel, and I thank you for it, but I'm ready to move forward now" he replied softly, cupping her face with one hand tenderly "I want to see where this goes, if you're willing?"
Tom held his breath, hoping she'd say yes. They'd been through so much, from battling the Russians, finding the Cure, the Immunes, and worst of all Niels Sorensen, the one person who'd come perilously close to breaking them. He knew they needed to talk about it, he needed to know what had driven her to it. Tom knew that for them to have any future together there could be no more secrets, no more ghosts.
"I want that too, but I need to explain something to you Tom, I won't have it standing between us, have him standing between us" Rachel said, a look of both determination and uncertainty etched across her face.
"Sorensen" Tom said, even the name left a foul taste in his mouth.
"I did kill him, I won't lie to you, but you have no idea of the price he wanted for his help Tom" Rachel began, not quite knowing how to explain "He could've come forward at any time, could've given the information to anyone, even anonymously – but he didn't, Tom, he was proud of what he'd done!"
Tom stared at Rachel with mounting horror, please god she couldn't mean what he thought she did. Rachel didn't miss the look that crossed Tom's face, and shook her head.
"No Tom, he didn't touch me, not like that" she whispered "In the end, the promise of it was enough for him to spill his guts, but it left me feeling soiled, dirty"
He watched her pace, hugging herself as if in an effort to protect herself from Sorensen's ghost, even dead the damned man polluted the very air.
"As I said, he was proud of his actions, gloated over it, and as I listened to him crow over it, all I could see, hear, smell even were the people who'd died for his vanity, he could've saved them Tom, but he betrayed everything we as Doctors are supposed to hold dear!" Rachel said furiously"First Do No Harm! He took the same oath as I did and betrayed it for pride! I know I did the same, I know I did harm, and if I could have that time back, I'd make a different choice, if only to avoid this awful distance between us!"
"Rachel..." Tom started, but one look from Rachel's pleading eyes silenced him. He could sense she needed to exorcise these memories, tell him the truth that at the time, he just hadn't been ready to hear.
"When he started gloating, I...I just ... Snapped! I injected the DNA scissors into his IV and watched as his own creation took his life, just as it had taken 5 billion others" Rachel hung her head, the tears beginning to run silently down her cheeks "I very much regret what I did that day Tom, you have no idea how much, I feel as I've been tainted by him, I thought I'd lost your friendship, and a chance at something more"
Tom reached over and took her hand, pulling her into his arms gently so as to avoid his surgical wound. He enveloped her in his embrace, tucking her head under his chin just as he had the night she'd found the first cure. He waited as her tears fell, stroking her back until the tears stopped, allowing him to pull back and cradle her face in his hands.
"Rachel, I'm not going to pretend that what happened didn't infuriate me, but I had no idea he'd pressured you into such an offer, even if you never had to make good on it" Tom told her "The fact you felt you had to upsets me more than you'll ever know, and if I'm totally honest with myself, I know damn well I shouldn't have forced you to work with him!"
"Tom, I could've said no..." Rachel went to reply but Tom cut her off.
"I never gave you the chance sweetheart" Tom said sadly "I told you he'd killed Darien, emotional blackmail in anyone's book, knowing damn well you wouldn't refuse any request I made after that, can you forgive me?"
Rachel looked into his eyes, those beautiful blue orbs that had captured her heart back in the helo bay all those months ago. She nodded and smiled at him, deciding to let go the ghosts that had haunted her and build a new future with this man, the one who still held her heart.
"Let's forgive each other Tom" Rachel replied softly "We've both made mistakes, legions of them, but what doesn't break us can make us stronger, let the ghosts go"
"I can't think of anything I'd like more, except one thing" Tom replied, enjoying the look of confusion on her face, it was adorable in his opinion.
"What's that?" Rachel asked, puzzled.
"This" Tom said, pulling her in for their first real kiss. He took advantage of her gasp of surprise to slip his tongue into her mouth, tasting her as if she were a fine wine. Rachel responded eagerly, returning his kiss, making love to him with her mouth as she longed to do with her body. In the end, it was the need for air that drove them apart, foreheads resting against one another's as they fought to regain control.
Present day:
Tom remembered that kiss as if it were yesterday, not 2 weeks ago, remembered the new, stronger relationship they'd begun to build as she'd taken advantage of the pardon Michener had granted her. Their newfound feelings had even survived the explosion of temper that had come his way when she'd found she was to accompany the landing party, and be sent to safety whist the Nathan James battled the Achilles out in the bay, a duel to the death. Fortunately for him, Rachel had been too glad to see him alive and share in her delight over the successful, if unplanned, trial of her contagious cure to hang onto her temper. They'd planned and strategized - herself, Mike, the President, Jeter – planned how to distribute the Cure, rebuild a broken nation. It had felt so good to be united with her, working towards a common, shard goal – they'd always been far stronger together. Those weeks had allowed him to "court" Rachel as his Dad had put it in one late night vid-call, enjoying the opportunity to get to really know the fascinating little sprite he was falling in love with. Rachel too had delighted in the chance to get to know Tom, to really see the man behind the uniform, behind the Captain's mask – she was falling deeper in love with him every day. It had been worth it all; even putting up with Tex's merciless teasing, as Rachel knew he'd been a good supportive friend when she'd needed him.
It tore him apart that he'd never had the chance to tell Rachel out loud how he felt, something Tom vowed he'd never, ever stop telling her when she woke up. It was the pressure of her hand squeezing his that told Tom she'd finally woken up, that he'd been speaking aloud.
"You...you promise me you'll do that?" Rachel croaked her voice dry from disuse, and the oxygen she'd needed to heal. "Tell me now Tom, tell me how you feel"
"I .love you Rachel Mary Scott, I love you... with every beat of my heart" Tom told her, his tone coloured with the strength of his love "I promise you, I'll tell you every day how much, I promise!"
Tom took the hand he'd been clutching so tightly and kissed it, before leaning over her and kissing her lips briefly, gently, just to prove his words.
"I love you too Thomas Bryce Chandler, more than words can say" Rachel replied "I prayed you'd find me, and you came, I knew you would"
They smiled at one another, before Rachel's eyes closed in exhaustion, and Tom sat by her bedside, sleeping in the armchair someone had scrounged for the handsome Navy captain who refused to leave his beloved's side. The nurses had watched this couple, and had prayed for the pretty British Doctor's recovery, knowing that all of them had a future, because of Rachel Scott. They prayed she'd have her happy ending, she and the handsome sailor who was so devoted to her. It was how Jed and the children found them the next day; having heard of Rachel's shooting, none of the Chandler's had wanted to rest until they'd seen firsthand for themselves that Rachel was alive.