I'm so sorry I took so long to update!!!

I've had some sort of writer's block and I was an incubus of viral plague, so...

Spiffy, huh?

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.

fairydustandcansofspam, This one's for you.

Chapter 6

Diary Stealing and Screeching with Sirius

Boy's Dormitory

7:19am

(Why does he date this anyway? Is it so fifty years down the road he'll look at this and say 'Hey! 7:19 at the Boy's Dorm? No Kidding'

Merlin, This journal thing is whacko.)

So I stole Prong's journal.

So what? It doesn't mean anything.

It's not like I made some kind of weird statement, like wearing big frilly robes and telling every person I know that they are back in style.

Now that, would be stupid.

I, Sirius "Padfoot" Black was only curious about what he had written about me.

It may have only been a day since he had this bloody thing, but...

He's become attached.

It's like this thing is Evans's double, or something.

...Or is it?

Then it would TOTALLY make sense!!!

You see, Evans's soul is trapped in this journal and my dearest Prongsy is writing back and forth to her evil, EVIL soul. That would at least explain her everyday lack of anything resembling human emotion.

So...yeah.

HEY!

What has he said about me?

Checking...now.

7:23

MOONY!! PRONSY!!

How could you SPEAK of me in this way!!

7:27

My boy Prongsy can describe women's clothing?

...Interesting

7:29

Who is this Remy?

And why don't I know here, Prongsy?

TELL ME RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!!!

Only, you can't.

Because this is a diary.

I'M OFF TO FIND PRONGSY, DIARY!!!

TELL HIM I CAME!!!

'Mini Marauderette in Training'??? What is Prongs thinking? I thought as I swiftly walked down the stairs. This has to be a joke. I mean, I know what MY jokes sound like. Most of them are funny and all, but this is not even MILDLY amusing. A new marauder? A GIRL marauder??? I don't think so. The Marauders are a BOYS ONLY group. You know, the whole Boys Only: No Girls ALLOWED tree house we all as young men used to have.

No little brunette chick wearing oxford shirts is going to break us up because Prongsy said so.

These are my mates.

MINE!

We've gotta vote on this like civilized human beings. Take THAT, Miss-Let's-Steal-A-Group's-Manhood.

I sigh as I turn the corner. Being all gloomy and slightly angry does not suit my personality here at Hoggy Warty Hogwarts. It takes a LOT of people by surprise, Let me tell you, Minnie FREAKED. I was striding down the transfiguration hallway, and she looked at me with the are-you-going-to-drop-a -water-balloon-on-my-head-now-or-later face.

"Hello, Professor." I said hurriedly.

"...Pro..Pro.." McGonagall said, having trouble forming words. "..ProFESSOR?"

But, sadly, I do NOT have time for this little talk.

"What?" I said, raising my eyebrow. "You got demoted?"

Minnie looked shocked and kind of angry.

Couldn't IMAGINE why.

"WELL!!" She said, huffing. "5 points for your outstanding morning attitude."

I didn't even give her a normal response. Well, normal for ME, anyway.

The only thing on my mind is getting to Prongsy as Fast as humanly possible. I practically ran over a few second years on the way to the Great Hall on those last floors. Who cares, really? They can grow those few inches back.

Ah, FINALLY! Those doors!

I grabbed the handles, and threw them open with as much force as I could without using magic. This method, is surprisingly successful, since everyone is watching me warily when the doors make this really big BANG sound.

Good.

I WANT them watching.

This little girlie isn't breaking up MY-

Good, Merlin.

Is THAT her?

That little brownie sitting across from Moony?

In MY seat?

Well.

She does have a fine set of legs on her, but..

Those legs aren't sitting in MY seat.

Yeppers, blondie slytherin boy.

You BETTER move out of the way.

I take the seat next to Prongs, and start piling waffles on my plate. Everyone in the entire place is staring in our direction, watching for a blowout. Well, if that's what they want, I'm not giving it to them. This is personal marauder business and I'm not going to blab. Moony is staring at me with a bored interest, one eyebrow raised as if to say 'Spit it Out now, before you blow'. Peter looks all confused and slightly scared, but he always looks like that, so it's not much of a difference. Prongs is simply staring, waiting. I just look up as if to say 'Drop it' and pick up my fork, stuffing waffle in my face. She, however, is completely quiet and continues eating without even looking up. The rest of the group doesn't buy my look and starts to ask me questions. Moony, naturally, is first.

"Okay, Padfoot. What is it this time?" Moony says tiredly. "We didn't wake you this morning because you decided to kick anyone who tried within a five foot radius. Besides, there is plenty of waffles."

I dropped my fork with an audible clang.

"No Moony." I said, snippy. "It's not the waffles."

"Then, what?" Prongs says.

I simply stare at brownie. She, surprisingly, does not notice.

Dang.

It would've been more dramatic. Oh, well. Prongs takes the bait, anyway.

"OH! Sorry, Padfoot." He says apologetically. "This is Remy."

"Remy? What's that short for?" I say, glaring at her.

Remy finally looks up at me with her big blue eyes through her eyelashes.

Well, she is stunning, but not enough to make me blubber like a fish. I'm a MAN.

"It isn't short for Anything." She says, narrowing her eyes.

"Really?" I say, not backing down.

"Yes, Really." Ah, I see she's not backing down either. What a feisty one. Nothing I can't handle.

"Not Rebecca?"

"No."

"Remelinda?"

"Ew." She says, frowning and staring me down.

Well, two can play at that game, sister.

"Okay, then." I pause.

"Got a last name there, Zippy?"

"Nope."

"What? Don't toy with me, Sugar." I say, in a warning tone.

By now, we're both leaning in towards the center of the table, staring each other with a mutual dislike.

"Padfoot, What is Wrong with you?" Prongs says, annoyed.

"Nothing, Prongs. I just don't see why she is sitting here without my permission." I say, purposely testing his patience.

"Excuse me?" He is angry now.

Good.

I don't like to provoke Prongs often, but he can't keep bringing strays here.

"You heard me. I said- "

"ENOUGH." Moony says, wide awake now. He turns to Remy, that harpy, looking sympathetic.

"I'm sorry, Remy. We're not usually like this."

She sits back up, slightly startled, as if breaking out of a trance. With a small smile on her face, she turns to Moony.

"It's okay, Remus. This is nothing new." Remy stands and gathers her things. "I'll see you in Arithmacy?"

Moony smiles. Why is Moony smiling at the enemy?

"Of course." He says, with that odd smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

Uh, oh.

I should run.

NOW.

Remy walks slowly out of the hall. Before she reaches the door, she stops.

"Moone." She says slowly, turning to look at me.

"Astronomy nut, are you?" I say. I couldn't resist one last retort. Besides, I'm as good as dead now, anyway.

"No. It's Zippy's last name." She says grinning.

Checkmate.

Goblin Fingers.

She got the last word. Now that's not fair.

It's remarkable, really. How Moony can tell when the subject of an argument is just out of hearing range before he attacks.

It's a skill, really.

"Padfoot, you have about 60 seconds to explain what the hell your problem is" Moony says in his do-or-die voice.

"Why don't you ask Prongs, Moony?" I say sulkily. "He's the one with the problem."

Prongs swallows his goblet of pumpkin juice and looks at me strangely.

"I'm sorry, but What?" He says, confused. "How is this my problem now? You're the one who went all Morgan La Fay."

"Psh. I did not."

"Uh, yes. You did, Padfoot."

I'm not putting up with the pointless arguing today. I am DEPRESSED, here!!

Does No One care?

"Prongs, honestly." I say, sarcastically. "This is not about the Morgan La Fay-ing. It's about your little initiation of the Remy."

"Oh. Well, all I did was offer for her to sit with us at the table." Prongs said, evenly. "She eats in the kitchens everyday, for Merlin's sake. That's just sad."

"So she's not a-What was that?" I pause as if thinking. "Mini Marauderette in TRAINING?!?!"

Moony chokes on his strudel.

"Wha-a-aa-t!?!?" He says. Original, Moony. "What in Merlin's name is that?"

"It's what Remy is, Moony. Keep up, furry." I say, raising my eyebrows.

Did Prongs not say anything yet?

...Oh.

Whoopsie.

Moony just glares at me.

"I don't remember saying that..." Prongs ponders. "Unless I-"

He completely freezes.

Ah-HAH. And Bingo was his Name-o.

"That was in my Diar-JOURNAL, Padfoot." He says, fuming. "You read my private thoughts!!!"

Prongs squirms about in his seat a little.

"Moony!!!" He wails after a minute. "Isn't that a violation of my wizarding RIGHTS?!?!?"

"Uh, No." Moony says, finishing his strudel. "You'd have told us all of it, anyway."

"Indeed." Pipes in Peter. Odd boy, I forgot he was here.

"...Oh." Prongs looks befuddled. "Not ALL of them."

"Fine." I say. "But, MMIT!??! What were you thinking!??!"

Now Moony looks befuddled.

"MMIT?"

"Mini Marauderette in Training. Keep UP, Furry!!" I say, mildly annoyed.

Moony responds by whacking me in the head with his goblet.

Ow.

"I happen to like Remy. She is a good conversationalist." Moony says, glaring at me. "When you don't go insulting her name."

"I wonder why she was eating in kitchens all the time." Prongs ponders.

"I heard a rumor a while back about someone sounding like her and Lucius, but I could be wrong..." Wormtail says quietly.

"Well, I HATE HER!!" I screech, slamming my fists down on the table. Several trays down, a few third years glance at me nerviously, as if I'd come over and pummel them to the ground.

Hehehe.

The Power.

"You are being completely absurd."Moony remarks.

"I second that." Prongs says defiantly.

This is horrid.

My best mates are going against me over a girl.

Isn't there a friendship rule against this?

"She's not that bad, Padfoot." Prongs adds as an afterthought. "Plus, she seems to have been through a lot. We should let her hang with us for a while until she gets back on track."

Moony looks at him strangely, then grins.

"I second that." He says, grinning. "But, won't this supposedly make Lily jealous?"

"SHHHHHH!!!!!!" Prongs frantically shushes Moony.

I hesitate.

Maybe...

If she is just here as an Evans anger tool...

MAYBE.

"I'll...tolerate her." I say, sulkily. "But have her STAY OUT OF MY SEAT!!!"

"Deal." Prongs says, smiling.

"Deal." Moony repeats, looking at me oddly, as if wanting to kick me out of my chair.

"Um...Deal?" Wormtail says, being , well, Wormtail.

Muahahahahaha.

She's all yours, Evans.

I smirk evilly and get back to my waffles.

Now THIS is a compromise I can deal with.

Watch out, Remy(HARPY!!!), You've got me and Evans to deal with now.

Bring on the torture.