So. It's Monday morning and I'm taking Morgana to the mental health clinic. To be honest, I don't know why she bothers.
She's been attending is for ages, even before I moved in with her, and she hasn't exactly grown any better. In my opinion.
She's looking happier today, and much calmer. That's the thing with this kind of bipolar-y thing she has. She swiches from happy to sad to happy to sad in the blink of an eye. Rather annoying for me, of course.
We walk down and get into her car this time. She's insisting that she drives, and I let her, to drag along her happy state until we get there, even though she hasn't driven in months since she crashed into a lamppost and got driven (in an ambulance) to the hospital straight away to have her head stitched up.
She handles the tiny Ford surprisingly well for someone who's been staying at home for so long. There's not much traffic cos the rush-hour's just passed so we get there 15 minutes early. And she's still in her happy state so we're good.
I wander in while she gets a parking ticket (she insisted on that one too.) and sit down in one of the white seats by the doorway.
"Good morning, Arthur Pendragon." What? How does she know- Oh god. It's her. Emmeline Frost. One of my previous bed-mates. She tried to kill me once with a soap after I told her I 'needed space'. It was probably bad timing telling her that right after we'd had sex. I was actually hoping getting her all relaxed and stuff was going to make it a little less painful for me. Apparently not.
"Hello, Emmeline." I say.
"How have you been?" Her voice is practically dripping with fake sympathy and I have a sudden feeling that my life is in danger.
"Err, fine. You?"
"I'm still getting over our little... misunderstanding." Oh god. I knew she'd do this.
"Misunderstanding?" I feign confusion and cock my head.
"Yes you-"
"Sorry I took so long, diddums." Morgana. So she's been at the alcohol again. I growl in frustration. She ignores me and walks over to the receptionist's desk. "I have an appointment at 10 or something."
"Oh yes, Miss... Pendragon?!" She gasps and points at me. "You married him?"
"What are you talking about?" Morgana looks at us, and furrow her eyebrows, clearly confused.
"I can't believe you..." she puts her hand on her forehead and moans. Talk about being a drama queen. "We were so happy together! How could you? You promised you'd marry me, not this slut!"
"Wait. You think I'm his frickin' wife? His wife? Seriously? He can't even manage a girlfriend, how d'you think he'll manage a bloomin' wife?" Oh no. Old Morgana's come back. "You stupid slutty b**ch, he's my f***ing BROTHER!" She spits at Frosty who's looking seriously shocked and storms off to the toilet.
Emmeline just bursts into tears, her hard exterior broken down, and runs into office. Pathetic wimp. That's why I broke things off with her, I guess. Except for the rubbish sex, she was such a crybaby. She cried if she didn't get something and whined all the time. If I tried to lay her down gently, she'd wobble her bottom lip and pout which just made her look like a frog. I don't know why I dragged her for a whole month before dumping her. I should've done so ages ago.
I hear the counselling room door open. Uh oh. Morgana's still in the loo, probably smashing the glass and stuff. A man's voice. Well, at least she doesn't have that goose of a woman she had yesterday.
He comes out with another girl starts talking with her. Hmmm. Wonder if she's as bad as Morgana.
I lean over slightly so I can hear them a little better. "... well, I think that's it. Just don't watch telly and keep yourself healthy, Gwen." Wait. Gwen? As in short for Guinevere? I look at the pair sideways. It's her! It's actually her. Why is she here?
"Guinevere?" Oh god. Did I just say that out loud? I hope she hasn't heard. But of course, I always get the worst luck.
"Oh. Hello." She waves the doctor goodbye and comes over to me. "Arthur, isn't it?"
"Uhh, yes. Guinevere." I stand up and shake her extended hand. "So why are you here?"
"Oh. Just..." she looks slightly uncomfortable for a moment. "My sister's ill so I came to pick up her medicine. What are you doing here?" She had a sister?
"My sister has an appointment. Right now, actually. Is this why you said you couldn't make it today?"
"Yes, sorry." Her face is emotionless and blank. "Goodbye." She turns to leave and she just signs out when somebody comes in. She immediately turns away and tries to pull her hood up but then realizes she's wearing a t-shirt.
She's obviously trying to hide from whoever it is.
I quickly walk up to her and wrap my arms around her, concealing her face in my chest.
The guy looks at us strangely but doesn't say anything and goes to the men's loos.
"He's gone." I whisper and she looks up at me. I stare into her honey brown eyes and find myself falling into them.
She stays like that for a few minutes more then wiggles a bit. "Can you let go of me, then?"
"Oh! Oh, sorry." I release her laugh and she smiles. That smile I saw in the photos. The kind of uncomfortable strained smile as if she doesn't know how to smile.
"Well, thank you for that. I appreciate it." She tries to leave again but I grab her elbow before she opens the door.
"Can't you return the favor with a date, then?"
"Pardon?" She doesn't look at me but I can hear the confusion in her voice.
"Can you come on a date with me? At that old village cafe with the pea-green blinds." I talk desperately, clinging onto her arm like its my lifeline.
She's silent for a moment then swivels around. "Fine. But only to return the favor. Then I'm leaving." She pivots round on her heel and leaves the clinic with me following her with a huge grin on my face.
As I close the door, I hear Morgana screech at the poor old doctor who's trying to drag her out of the toilet. I sigh. Some things never change.
We arrive at the cafe in about 15 minutes and we walk in.
Oh gosh. It really is very private. Everything is so dusty and there is not anything about this place that suggests that it is a cafe except for the little coffee machine behind a counter-y thing. Suddenly something rustles and an old woman appears by the door.
"Please have a seat. What would you like?" We both sit down and she takes our orders. She's surprisingly agile, whizzing about the cafe like a fairy, adding a bit of sugar there, cocoa beans, and sprinkling stuff everywhere.
"This is nice." She says absentmindedly.
I smile. "Yes, it is, isn't it."
She brushes some dust off the table and lifts her head up. Her eyes bore into me and I feel like she's drilling my skull. "Why do you want to go on a date with me so much?" she asks.
I cough, partly because of the dust, partly because of her question. "Umm, I don't know. I can't say I'm as desperate as you make me out though."
"Then why do you keep chasing after me and asking me stupid questions?"
"Uh, sorry?"
She coughs this time and shakes her head. "Sorry. I got a bit impolite there."
"It's alright. I probably deserved it."
The lady brings us our drinks and disappears again behind the screen. Guinevere swirls the drink with her teaspoon and looks at me again.
"It's not a good idea. Going on dates with me."
"Why?"
"Don't pretend you don't know about my past." she scoffs.
"So? What about it? You acted, then you gave up or something. Did you murder all your ex-boyfriends or something after that? " I ask, and take a sip of my coffee which is really good, much to my surprise. Who knew such a smelly coffee place could make such amazing coffee?
She opens her mouth as if to say something but then shuts it again. "Nothing." she sighs.
"Don't worry about anything. We're not even dating yet anyway. We'll cross that bridge, whatever it is, when we come to it."
"We." she says softly. "We."
We sit in silence, just sipping our drinks, just listening to the clock ticking, tick tock tick tock tick tock...
Occasionally we have a bit of a polite conversation which dies down again, then starts again.
Suddenly I want to ask her something. "Is Guinevere really your name?" I ask. I feel a strong urge to want to check out the facts about her, make sure I'm not fooled by some illusion of a younger her poured into my ear my Gwaine.
"It's my middle name." she replies quietly, still stirring her now cold coffee. So he was right there.
Second question then. "What's your first name, then?"
"You should know. Didn't Gwaine tell you?" Woah. How did she know that? How did she even know that I have a friend called Gwaine? Is she some kind of witch or something who can read people's minds?
"Errr, yeah, but-"
"So what is it?" she looks at me. Is she trying to test me? I try to read her expression but it's unreadable.
"Amy-May." I answer a little uncertainly. She doesn't respond in any way so I just carry on with my questions. "Okay then, are you really an actress?"
She lowers her eyes to her spoon, swirling around her cup. "Yes. Well, I was, anyway."
"Why did you give up acting?" I ask.
Her spoon stops swirling for a moment and I sense her momentary panic. "You don't need to know." she replies, not a trace of panic in her voice. Wow. She is a good actress.
"Okay." I guess I'm asking too many questions. Questions she doesn't want to answer. I remember what she told me last week on the bus. I'm learning, slowly, but I'm learning.
"I'm sorry." she says quietly that I barely hear her over my thoughts.
"What?"
"I'm sorry." she repeats.
"Why?"
"Because." she dips a finger in her cold drink and watches the coffee drip off it slowly. "Because I can't give you what you want."
"What? I didn't say anything about wanting anything." She's confusing me a bit now.
"In the end, no matter how hard you try, you'll never get it." Get what? Her heart? Sex? What is she talking about?
"I don't understand. What do you mean?"
"You are going to regret today. I swear you are. Meeting me. Having coffee with me. You're going to regret it." I see a single tear drop into her mug. She keeps her head bent. I look away, giving her some privacy.
She's strange. Peculiar. But something draws me in, despite her warnings and all her weird actions. She draws me in like a moth to a light. Perhaps she's right, I might meet my death with her. I might. Who knows. Maybe, like a moth, my light will be my doom. She will be my doom.
I look at her once more. No more tears fall, and as she raises her head, her face is completely expressionless. Her eyes aren't red and her expression is kept under control. Either she's a really good actress or a very troubled person.
I stand up and grab my wallet. Need to get to work. Father will have my head if I don't arrive on time. I drop some coins on the table and walk across to her side.
"Are you going to leave now? I need to get to work." I gently touch her back.
Her eyes flicker with emotion for a second but then the moment passes and her face's a mask again.
"I'm coming." I pull out her chair and she stands up and leaves without another word. I push in her chair and join her outside in the chilly breeze.
She shivers a little beside me. She's only wearing a t-shirt so she must be freezing.
"Guinevere." She doesn't respond so I take her chin and tilt it so she's facing me. "Here. You look cold." As I take off my jacket and wrap it round her, I feel the urge to laugh out loud as I do the most cliched thing ever. Her face gets a little pinker and she's not shivering as much so I guess she's feeling a little bit warmer.
"Thank you for today. It was nice."
"I'll walk you home." I say.
Panic flashes across her face again and she puts a hand to my chest.
"No! I mean, I'm fine. I don't need help." She takes her hand off and smiles up at me. "I don't live too far away anyway. Good bye." I watch as she walks away, far off into the distance, until she's nothing but a speck. I run down to the main street to catch a bus and get on. I reach into my pocket and my eyes widen. Oh god. My jacket. She's got my jacket. Which has my wallet and my bus pass in it.
I groan and get off the bus. I sit down and take my phone out. At least I didn't put my phone in it. Otherwise I'd be dead meat.
I call Leon and ask him to pick me up. Luckily, he doesn't live far away and he works at my Father's place too, which is pretty useful for me, especially now.
As I get into his Mini, I suddenly smile.
I get one good thing out of this then. Now I have an excuse to ask her out again.
I grin then sigh as I think about Mrs Huston and her stupid husband again. She'd just be better off murdering him. That would clean up the case quite nicely.
My mind drifts to Guinevere again, her strange behavior today.
Whatever it is, I want to find out. I need to find out.
I just need to figure out how.