Chapter 6

Bella

I sat semi-cross-legged on my bed, squeezing my worn out Pillow Person into my chest with my chin resting on her sunken head. Her name was Winkleberry. Charlie brought her home to me when I was in kindergarten, and my best friend, Marissa, moved away. The story on the tag said she was everybody's best friend, and you could tell her anything. She'd keep all your most precious secrets. She was missing a limb and had grown so tattered, stuffing was leaking from some amateur sewing repairs I gave her over the years, but despite the shape she was in, she remained handy to me.

Voices carried from outside, and the low, robust tone belonging to Jacob trailed its way through my unopened window, triggering an increase in my heart rate fused with anxiety.

What pane of glass?

I couldn't believe I had one with the way all the outside sounds invaded my room whenever I preferred nothing less than deafening silence.

A knock at the front door followed Leah, Seth, and Jake's oblivious chit-chat. I wasn't sure how I would feel seeing him again, or that I even wanted to see him again. But I couldn't really be mad at him either, because the facts remained the same, we weren't dating. It would be unfair for me to think he should have behaved as if we were, but I couldn't help it. I felt disappointed, hurt, and furious at him. I rubbed my temples, feeling more distressed.

Only a second later, I sprung to my feet, tiptoeing across my bedroom. I cracked my door open just to hear his voice. My mom answered the door, and I heard her announce, "Jacob, you're getting really, really tall. Now, don't get too much taller. Remember, I'm saving Bella for you."

I cringed at Renee's ridiculousness. Nobody wanted to have to listen to those kinds of remarks. It was disturbing enough when we were younger. Now we were older, it was insane sounding.

"I'll try not to," Jacob answered with laughter in his voice.

"Holy buckets, you grew!" Charlie exclaimed. "What is it now-five-ten or five-eleven?"

"More like six foot," Jake said.

Six-foot! I had half a mind to run downstairs and throw myself around him just the way I did with Embry. But that was only half a mind. I felt too disheartened, knowing that Jacob really was the guy in the picture that Emmett painted for me so long ago. It was a good thing he didn't know what had happened between me and Jake at the movies, because Emmett loved to say "I told you so" to me.

"Where is everyone?" Jake asked.

"I sent the boys to the grocery store. They should be home soon. Bella's upstairs. She claims she's not feeling well," Renee recounted with the rest of her words straggling off soundless.

Claims? I shook my head, squinting in anger. She was relentless. Furious over her attempts to accomplish who knows what—another reason I shouldn't have exposed my feelings for Jacob to anyone—I pushed my door shut. I was about to turn my stereo on to drown out the lower level sounds, hoping the music would smother my yearning to see Jacob, when I heard footsteps on the stairs.

I might have guessed Renee wouldn't let me hide up in my room, but this was my chance to talk to her privately, to tell her to stop interfering, and to leave Jacob alone because there was nothing going on between us. I wrenched the door open, and my heart leapt-practically out of my body, making me go breathless.

Jake smiled that charming smile of his, the one smile that always made me weak in the knees. Tall, broad, and handsome, he was perfect. My lips began to form a smile. I truly was hopeless. Biting my lip, I lowered my eyes, assembling my defenses. "Hi, Jake!"

"What, no hug for me?"

I forced myself to reach up and give him a light embrace. Not only had he grown taller, but he was more developed, and strong, by the feel of him. A slight squeeze coming from the arms he had draped around my lower back brought me to my senses. I abruptly let go, placing my fingertips on the fronts of his shoulders and pushed myself away from him. I turned around and said, "Sorry, Jacob. I'm not feeling well."

"I know. Renee told us. What's wrong?"

"What are you doing up here, Jake?" I muttered. I folded my arms around my waist and sat down on my bed. "You don't have to humor her, you know?"

"I wasn't. I wanted to come up and see you."

Well, you don't have to humor me. I grimaced.

His expression turned confused, and he took a step back. "Sorry, you're not feeling good."

He would leave. "Wait a minute, Jake!"

His eyes widened. "Yeah?"

I decided I'd have to sort out my tangled emotions later. "I'm feeling well enough. Come in and tell me about your school?" I grinned, softening my expression.

His shoulders relaxed, and he came in, partially closed the door, and sat down beside me. "I like the school and the people. Living in a dorm is really different though."

"Really? What's that like?" I asked, sensing the prickly tension between us.

The way he absentmindedly lifted Winkleberry and began to fiddle with her nervously told me he sensed it too. "There are a lot of kids around, but it's not living with your family. It gets kind of lonely sometimes, and because of all the dorm rules, I don't even get to spend as much time with Rebecca and Rachel as I thought I would. I miss ..." He looked down and realized he was holding Winkleberry in his hands. His face puckered. "What the hell?"

The startled jump in Jacob's eyes when he realized what he was toying with was more than comical. I laughed, disintegrating some awkwardness that was clogging the atmosphere.

He grinned. "You don't sleep with this creepy little thing, do you, Bella?"

It was a breath of fresh air that took me back to the way we'd been before the movie theater. "No." I slowed my laughter. "It's a classic. Charlie says they don't make them anymore."

"Huh." He dangled her around in his hands, examining her for another couple seconds then handed her back to me. "Looks like she's been beaten one too many times. Anyway, I'm glad to be home. I really missed you guys."

"We missed you too."

As I returned the sentiment, I wished so much to be back when he didn't have a hint of my attraction to him, and I didn't know of his disregard.

Embry's allusion I meant more to Jacob than the who-knows-how-many girls he dated in Chemawa ruffled through my head. I wondered if there was any truth to his statement. Then I wondered he meant it as a compliment, because it felt more like an insult to my intelligence.

No, I told myself I would not exaggerate what little went on between Jacob and me and ruin our close friendship. He did nothing wrong, really. The day he left, he even made a point of telling me he didn't make promises to anyone. The only person I had the right to be mad at was me, for refusing to accept Jake's behavior of not coming over after the movie and not calling me when he was in Chemawa for what it was: a sign he didn't want to take things any further with me. I frowned at the realization.

"What? What's that look about?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes, looking away from him as my face went warm. Presuming this was as good a time as any to clear the air between us so that he would know I understood, I coughed then made myself say, "Jake, it doesn't have to be weird between us or anything. I mean, I know things got a little mixed up with us before you left. I just want to say that ... I want to forget all about that."

He probably already did, but at least he'd know that I was okay with it, and we could go back to being normal.

His eyebrows lifted. "What? Why?" he asked, surprised, like he didn't have the slightest clue why I might even say that.

"Why?" I parroted, hearing a thump on the other side of the door.

Someone else was in the hallway. We both turned toward the door, and Jake stood up."You coming down, Jake?" Seth asked, as the door pushed open. "Emmett and Jasper are back." He waltzed inside while Leah stood in the hallway with a strange look on her face.

"Anyway, Bella, your mom and dad taking us out to dinner. Pizza, I think. Are you coming, or are you too sick?" Jake asked.

I didn't know if I had enough energy to sit around the table with everyone holding up some charade. "Um..."

"Ah, she's not too sick. Come with us, Bella," Seth urged. His bubbly energy was always contagious to me.

I thought, maybe I could fix this if I didn't pay too much attention to Jacob just like before, and said, "Sure, anything for you, Seth."

Jacob

I picked up my pizza and took a bite, glancing across the table at Bella sitting beside Seth, thinking about how he pulled her chair out for her. She didn't blink a surprised eye. Actually, no one did. I wondered if he always behaved that way toward her. I never noticed it before, or maybe I did, but it was just now standing out and bothering me.

Bella was reading a Trading Post paper while everyone talked. It was the last time I saw her all over again. She wouldn't look at me, and I was finding it hard to concentrate on what everyone else was saying.

It seemed like she was mad at me again, and I didn't know why-either that or she really was leaning toward Seth, from the looks of it.

"You okay, Jacob?" Renee asked. "You're too quiet."

My eyes roamed around the table, and everyone was staring at me. Bella even popped up from her paper. What was she reading that stupid thing for, anyway? "Sure, sure, just tired from the long trip."

They all went back to their conversations. Emmett and Charlie were talking about a football game. I glimpsed over at Seth and Jasper. Jasper was telling Seth about a Civil War documentary he had watched on The History Channel. Leah was paying deep attention to whatever Jasper was saying.

I took another slice of pizza, but I wasn't hungry. I didn't know why everyone felt like they needed to feed me.

"Jake ... They must have a good gym down there. I can tell you made some gains." Emmett said, slowly stretching and positioning his arms into a loose double bicep pose. "You're almost as big as Dad."

Oh, oh, here we go! I grinned.

Emmett had a classic football player build. He lifted weights a lot, and he got bigger. He always wore those damn preppy, dress-up sweaters though. I reached over and poked the front of his shoulder a couple times, showing he was soft. "Seriously, dude, how many shirts you got on under there?"

Emmett's face twisted in insult. "I don't have a bunch of shirts on under here!"

Seth and Jasper cracked up laughing right away. It took Charlie, Renee, and Leah a second to catch on. Bella wasn't paying attention. "One point for Jake," Jasper said, holding up his index finger. That was something we used to do when we were younger. We'd score the jabs we took at each other by how funny we thought they were. All it did was egg us on and sometimes pissed us off.

"Okay, you got me," Emmett grinned, laughing under his breath.

Bella lifted her head and almost smiled.

"For real though, Jake, what's the boxing like down there?" Emmett asked, interested.

"It's good." Everyone was gazing at me, so I elaborated. "It's a good size team, and there are some really talented boxers. It's not what I expected it to be, though. I mean, a lot of them have my skill level, but as far as sparring goes, there's hardly any guys my class."

"That's 'cause you ain't got any," Emmett razzed.

I chuckled. Yeah, I walked straight into that one. Jasper put his thumb down at the same time Seth said, "Two points." I flicked my crumpled napkin at Seth's face.

A couple minutes later, Charlie and Renee got up and walked into the game room. They had this weird infatuation with Pac-man and Ms. Pac-man. One by one, everyone else followed except for Bella, me, and Emmett.

"So, Jake, how's the girl situation in Chemawa?" Emmett asked.

Leave it to him to ask something like that right in front of Bella. She looked up. "Typical," I answered, stretching my arms overhead. I was trying to act casual and keep myself from glaring at him.

"Typical?" He smirked. "So ... does that mean you're seeing one or ten?" He laughed, his expression instigating.

He was hell bent on being a pain in the ass, and I knew what he wanted her to hear from me: that I had a girlfriend.

"None." I squirmed, stealing a fast glance at Bella. I thought I saw her cut her eyes away. I didn't know if it was at me or at her obnoxious big brother.

Emmett gave me a closed lip grin then stood up and moseyed into the game room. I took it as maybe he suspected I had a thing for Bella and wanted to make sure nothing would happen on that front.

We were both quiet after he left. She couldn't have been reading that paper. It was a Trading Post for cripes' sakes!

I stared at her wondering how our conversation would have gone if Seth hadn't interrupted us when he did. As curious as I was though, I didn't know if I really wanted to hear what she had been about to tell me. I decided I better just leave it alone. I was already feeling crappy from her distant behavior toward me. I didn't want to make things worse for myself.

"They're playing pool. C'mon, let's go take on the winners," I suggested.

"I still don't know how to play pool," she replied. Her eyelashes quivered bashfully.

God, she was beautiful.

"I bet I can teach you."

"Easier said than done." She laughed. I grinned; it felt good to see her smile at me, and it was about time. "Okay, I'll try it," she agreed.

We joined everyone in the game room. Emmett and Seth beat Leah and Jasper, so they ended up being our opponents. As usual, Emmett was already bragging about how good a shot he was. I put my quarters on the table. Emmett lifted his chin to me. "Do they have a pool table in the dormitory? I bet you still can't beat me."

"We'll see," I replied. "Bella's gonna be my partner."

Emmett laughed. "Now I know you won't beat me."

"Shut up, Emmett," Bella snapped.

I ignored him, racking the balls for the game. Seth shot first, but nothing fell inside a pocket. I studied the table for a few seconds then told Bella what ball to shoot for. I figured she, at least, knew how to shoot the ball. The first shot she took, the white ball jumped a foot high off the table and came flying straight for my head, barely missing me. Everyone got a big kick out of it, and Emmett started in with the teasing. "I don't understand how someone who can get an A in geometry, can't play pool worth a damn."

"I told you to shut up!" she barked, lifting the pool-stick as if she would whack him with it.

I would have loved to have seen that. "So what, I can play pool, but I can't get an A in geometry," I rebutted. "That was just a practice shot. Give her another chance."

Emmett agreed, boasting, "I'm telling you, Jake. You don't stand a chance against me, no matter how many tries she gets."

In through one ear and out the other.

"I'll line up the cue ball against the ball I want you to shoot, and the pocket I want you to aim for," I instructed Bella. "All you have to do is shoot on the spot I point to."

"It works, Bella. That's how I learned to play," Leah said.

Bella leaned over the pool table, holding on to the cue stick awkwardly and aimed to where I was pointing. She pulled the cue stick back and shot. The cue stick went upwards and barely nicked the white ball. Her face flushed; it was one of her cute, clumsy moments.

The white ball only moved a little. Emmett and Jasper cracked up laughing. "If we could have taught her how to play, we would have done it by now." Emmett chuckled.

Jasper nodded his head up and down. Bella frowned, rolling her eyes. It pissed me off whenever they treated her that way. "Be quiet, and take your turn," I grumbled. Emmett was wearing on my nerves big time. "It's a wonder she can do anything with you two jokes for brothers."

He ran the table for three balls before he missed. He always was a good shot. Then it was my turn, and I hit two balls. Seth shot next, he made one. We were back to Bella's turn. "Here, Jazz, you do it," she said, offering the cue stick to Jasper.

She already wanted to quit, but I wouldn't let her give up because of those two knuckleheads. "Just take your time, Bella, you'll get it this time," I encouraged. She huffed and leaned over the pool table, ready to shoot again. I lined up everything with my eyes once more and pointed at a spot.

"Jake, she needs to learn how to hold the cue stick the right way," Seth advised.

"Show her how, Seth," Leah said. She whipped her head toward me then quieted her voice, mumbling, "Or somebody."

Seth put his arms around Bella and leaned over her to show her the proper way to hold the stick and shoot. Even though it was all innocent, I was burning with jealousy. I couldn't even stand to watch and had to turn away until they finished.

"I'm ready, Jake."

We tried it again. She hit the mark on the white ball exactly where I was pointing. The number seven ball went straight into the pocket I called. She jumped up and down. Jasper, Leah, Charlie, and Renee clapped for her.

Emmett slapped Seth on the shoulder. "Hey, you're supposed to be on my side!" he exclaimed, exasperated.

She knocked two more balls down before she missed. We tied. Emmett hit the white ball too hard and scratched. It was my moment to do some heckling. By the time it was Bella's turn again, we only had one ball left plus the eight ball, and so did they. When she hit our last colored ball in, Emmett's face was mad red. I couldn't help but laugh at him. He hated losing, and I knew he especially didn't want to lose to me or Bella.

"The eight ball's gonna be trickier because we're gonna have to bank it," I told her.

"What's that?" she asked.

"We have to hit the eight ball so it bounces off the side of the table before it goes into the pocket we call." I lined it up for her, but she missed. "That's okay. It was a hard shot to make."

It was Emmett's turn. He hit his last ball in then went for the eight ball. He shot it straight in without banking it. "Whoo-hoo," he yelped.

"You didn't bank it!" We all complained at once.

"Who said we had to?" Emmett replied, smug. "I don't recall hearing that rule being made."

"You knew that's how we were playing it. That means we won because you didn't bank it," I argued.

"Nope," Emmett jeered, laughing.

"Pfft." I flicked the back of my hand at him. I looked at Bella. "He could gloat all he wants. Everyone's on our side anyway, including his own partner." I winked at her. She just turned away.

It poured wet when we left the Pizza Palace. We all hurried across the parking lot to the car. I noticed Seth holding his hand on Bella's lower back, probably to make sure she didn't slip.

I gulped. The searing jealousy I felt was too much to bear. Bella didn't like me anymore. I already couldn't wait to get back to school, to get as far away from Forks as possible.