Chapter 6 – No Moon

"This is a really bad idea, Carlisle," Edward told him, watching as the elder vampire cut expertly into a pineapple. "You are supposed to be the doctor and she is supposed to be the patient!"

Carlisle shook his head, and with one smooth motion of his knife, cut a beautifully round slice of the yellow fruit. Lately there had been many disagreements between the two. Nothing has changed.

Edward refrained from raising his voice. "Everything has changed," he tried to say calmly, but found his tone rising with each word. "You are meeting her in the garden again, at midnight…with another sandwich!" he said, exasperated, gesturing toward the pineapple for emphasis.

I can't help it. I have to see her again. Carlisle wished that he had not been so quick to think it…that he could take it back, but it had not mattered. His actions over the past few weeks had already demonstrated his feelings. It had become harder and harder to try to justify these feelings to his adopted son.

"She is human!"

I know that! Carlisle did not face him and instead grasped the fruit and set it carefully between two fresh slices of bread. Perhaps one day you will find a woman, Edward, and then you will understand these irrational urges…

He doubted that and had to disagree. "If I do, she won't be human!" Edward argued.

"Maybe she will," Carlisle said aloud, lifting his head and meeting the younger vampire's gaze, "or maybe she won't."

Shaking his head vehemently, Edward replied, "No! I would never do anything as reckless or foolhardy or irresponsible as falling in love with a human!" He continued to mutter on about the fact that Esme was not only mortal, but married and pregnant as well.

Carlisle tuned him out, picturing once again the smile on Esme's lips, anticipating her delight at the treat as he placed it into the cardboard box.

"Did you hear me, Carlisle? I would never let that happen! Never!" Edward repeated, but to his dismay, Carlisle's thoughts and mind were elsewhere. It was impossible to speak to him when he was off in la la land. Carlisle continued to wrap the sandwich into the box, tied a ribbon around it, and then placed the remainder of the bread and pineapple slices into separate bags.

"I have to go, son. I don't want to be late." Wearing a silly grin, Carlisle hummed, scooping the bags and Esme's gift into his arms and ghosted toward the door.

"Wait. What are you doing with the leftover bread and fruit? Are you giving that to Esme, as well?"

I'm going to make a quick stop downtown.

"Ah." Feeding the pregnant and the derelict - it was so Carlisle.

She searched for him, her heart pounding with anticipation. It was dark this night, and with the moon nowhere to be found in the vast expanse of sky, the only light apparent was from the stars that shone dimly in the heavy blackness. Esme calculated her steps carefully as she walked, hoping to avoid tripping over her own feet. He was not behind the pine tree where she had spotted him the night before, and the lack of light did not afford her much opportunity to find him. Still hopeful, Esme returned to the stone bench.

Except for the distant chirping of crickets, it was deathly quiet in the garden. She inhaled the fresh rosy scent from the nearby bush and closed her eyes, feeling the gentle tug of wind as it brushed her hair against her cheek.

"Hello."

Startled, Esme's eyes popped open, and in reflex her hand flew to her heart. "Carlisle! Oh, I didn't hear you."

Though this patient-doctor relationship that they had was hardly proper, Carlisle really liked the musical quality to her voice as she said his name.

As she gestured for him to take the seat beside her, she could only make out his dim figure. His pale skin and the white of the gift box were visible only as shadows. Relief washed over her to see him there; she had been fretting all day whether he would actually meet her or not.

"You look well," he complimented.

Esme giggled. "How can you even see me?" She brought her hand within view. "I can barely see my hand in front of my face."

Oops…another slip up. Carlisle realized that he was going to have to be more careful.

"I brought you something," he told her, hoping to change the subject.

She could only hear the smooth tenor of his voice, and its silky tone drew goose bumps from her body. Clapping her hands together, she faced him. "Another sandwich?" she asked excitedly, feeling very spoiled.

"Yes," he replied, handing it to her, pleased by her reaction. Esme was so sweet, so thankful that if she had so desired it, Carlisle would have happily given her the world.

"Thank you," she told him, already untying the ribbon and opening up the box. She wasted no time in removing the sandwich and taking a big healthy bite. "Mmmmm. Mmmmm…so good."

With a smile, he watched as she enjoyed the fruit of his labor, and a slight breeze swept some stray locks against her cheek, nearly tangling itself into her food.

The tempting scent of honey and vanilla sent him reeling as always, but since he had not hunted in a few weeks, an uncomfortable burning that he had commonly suppressed was now prickling stronger at his throat as she shoved the strands away.

The medium length of her caramel colored hair was something that Carlisle had always found especially attractive about her. In an age where most women flaunted the more common bob, Esme's locks hung in long tresses that brushed past her shoulders. To Carlisle, it was all the more endearing the way she had refused to follow in the latest fashion; it was a testament to her independent way of thinking.

"So?" she asked after polishing off the first half of the sandwich, and then setting the remainder back into the box for later. Not being able to read his expression was a bit disconcerting, but she also found a comfort there…in the darkness.

"So?" he repeated.

Esme was embarrassed to have to repeat it, but found the nerve there in the dusky setting. "You were supposed to tell me why you left a gift for me," she reminded, finding that suddenly it was not so difficult to say the words when she could not make out his reaction.

"Right." He could see her just fine, his keen eyesight dependable and unfailing even in the blackness. It was easy for him to make out the question in her large expressive eyes.

"I thought," he began, watching her expression carefully, still debating if he wanted to take the conversation in this direction.

"Go on," she urged.

"I thought that I could do one single thing to make you happy."

She shook her head. "What makes you think that I'm not happy?" Esme countered.

He was silent, but let his gaze fall heavily on her wrist. She could barely see the outline of him; his head was bent downward, and the faded white horizontal line on the wrist of her right hand was instantly brushed by his cool feather-light touch.

One single thing to make you happy. The words, they seemed innocent enough, but now that the meaning was clear, they brought a flood of tears to her eyes, and she pulled her healed wrist away from him. "That's very personal," she told him, trying desperately to suppress the quivering of her lips.

"Esme…you asked," he told her gently, honestly, wishing he could reach out and wipe away the tears now falling onto her cheeks.

Not able to hold it in any longer, the sobs broke freely, and she raised her hands to cover her face as she wept. Apparently, he had known the truth all along about her husband's wrongdoings, and now Esme felt foolish for thinking that Carlisle had believed her lies…and there had been so many.

"I'm sorry," Carlisle told her, wishing that he had never said it. The last thing he wanted to do was make Esme cry; she had suffered enough.

"I think you should leave, Dr. Cullen," she said in between sobs, humiliated and facing away from him now. Feeling grateful for the darkness, she was happy that he could not see her crying, even if he could hear her.

"Please," he begged, but could not summon any words to follow that might help. With a sigh, he stood, waiting for a moment, hoping there was some way to remedy this, but another thought occurred to him then. Edward was right…about everything. She was human and his patient. And vampires were not supposed to form personal relationships with mortals. Now, Carlisle wondered bitterly if she would ever allow him to treat her again… "I really am very sorry for upsetting you, Esme. Good night." Careful to monitor his speed, he stepped slowly away.

She sniffled, uncovering her face, watching as the figure of his body retreated from her. A feeling of panic overcame her then. "Wait! No!" she called out, sniffling again and rising from the bench.

Her voice stopped him right in his tracks. As much as he knew he should, Carlisle could not bring himself to walk away from her.

Esme covered the distance between them, now pleading. "Please don't go. I really don't want you to leave, Carlisle." To Esme, sending the man away was like cutting off a vital part of herself. "I'm sorry about all that. It's not your fault. Every day has been like a rollercoaster for me, and my emotions can't decide whether to be happy or sad," she told him now with a girlish giggle. "Today, I've already cried three times…for no apparent reason." What she neglected to mention was how afterward she would dive into a fit of giddy laughter…and that the thought of meeting him again was what had prompted it.

"That's normal," he confirmed softly, turning to face her then; he was relieved to hear the music of her laughing, glad to see the light in her eyes shining again, but most of all grateful that she was not angry with him.

"Thank you," she told him. "Thank you for all the sandwiches."

"My pleasure."

"And there's something else, Carlisle," she told him softly. "I'm not unhappy." She set her hand upon her slightly swollen abdomen in adoration of the tiny being growing inside her.

Before he even said the words aloud, he could already hear in his mind the disapproval in Edward's response. "I care about you very much, Esme, and I worry that your husband will hurt you again…and the baby."

She shook her head, half jumping for joy that Carlisle had admitted that he cared for her, half crying inside for his painful assumptions. And what hurt worse was that he was right; she knew better than anyone that it was only a matter of time until Clifford would strike her…Tears began to well in her eyes again.

"I want," he began, his voice becoming husky, "no need you to know, Esme, that if it happens again, that you have options." His eyes met the fear in hers. "You can go to the police, or I-"

"Stop." It was just a whisper, but she could not bear for him to continue.

"You don't have to stay here with him, Esme," Carlisle told her urgently, always having wanted to tell her as much, but having never found the courage. "I could protect…"

She cut him off. "Stop!" she said, and her hands rose to her ears to cover them. But after a moment, her hands fell back to the swell of her stomach. This time, she sniffed back the tears and wiped her eyes, still facing him. The darkness was giving her the courage to speak her mind. "I care very much for you, too, Carlisle," she told him, her heart thumping loudly in her chest. "Don't you think that I know how happy we could be together? Or that it hurts to know that there is actually someone out there who cares not only about me, but about what I think?" Stepping away from him, she continued, "In another life, you and I …" she stopped, forbidding herself to voice that sentiment. "But as much as it pains me to say this, my life is here, no matter what happens- for better or for worse. I am a wife and I'll be a mother soon…and this is my life."

Although Carlisle already knew, the truth of her words had cut him like a knife. He was only too aware that Esme would not stray from her commitments, but somehow hearing her say that she cared for him had made it harder, not easier.

"Of course, Esme. And I want you to know that if you ever need me, I'll be here…for you and the baby. I am still your doctor."

She nodded. That fact did give her a great measure of comfort and reassurance. This connection, this relationship that she had with him was so delicate, so fragile that she was loath to stain it with the harsh reality of what could never be…

"Yes. You are still my doctor," she affirmed. "And now you are also a very dear friend, and I could not stand to lose you, Carlisle."

He placed his hands on her shoulders very gently. It was true that they shared forbidden feelings for each other, but he brought himself to relish the fact that she still wanted him in her life… and that meant the world to him. "You will not lose me."

Esme's lips fell into a mock frown. "Promise? That we can still be friends?"

"I promise." He released his grip from her, letting his hands fall to his sides.

"And that we won't speak of this again?" she asked breathlessly.

This was a harder promise for Carlisle to make. He wanted, above all, for her to be safe from that ogre of a husband. "Very well," he agreed reluctantly.

Oh, she was feeling so bold now. Thank you, moon, wherever you are tonight, she thought, shuddering to think of how differently this conversation may have gone without the absence of the brilliant light from the sky. "And…that you'll come visit me every night…"

He was smiling now. She wanted him to return…on a regular basis. How could he resist? "Absolutely." Edward would be furious with him, but Carlisle brushed that very unpleasant thought aside as the pair continued to stroll along the garden.

Three hours later…

"I grew up in Atlanta, but after I met Clifford, we married and moved here to New Orleans about twelve years ago," she told him. The yawns were overtaking her again, and Esme was becoming very annoyed by it.

"Do you miss Atlanta?"

She shrugged. "I miss my family- my mother and brothers and sisters, but not the town itself."

"If you could live anywhere…"

She cut him off, "I would love to live near the ocean. Clifford's sister lives in Harmony, Mississippi. From her balcony, there's a breathtaking view of the sea. We go there about once a year to visit and stay for a week." Esme had looked forward to those visits, to the peaceful walks along the beach nearby, breathing in the salty smell of the water. "From Evelyn's house, it's less than a half mile walk to Peace Cliffs, and from there the waves stretch out as far as the eyes can see."

Carlisle nodded, enamored by the dreamy look in her eyes. "I've heard of it."

"You have?"

He kicked himself again, not wanting to reveal too much about his life. He could not very well tell her that he had worked at Harmony County Hospital for a number of years. That knowledge would lead to questions, and sadly, questions tended to lead to more lies. "I've passed through there."

Yawning again, she shook her head. "I've done it again! I still don't know anything about you, Carlisle," she said, rubbing her eyes.

That was how he liked it. "It looks like it's time for bed for you, Esme."

Her lips parted to disagree, but her mouth fell open, gaping again as the force of her tiredness burst out in a long exhalation. She rubbed her watery eyes and nodded reluctantly. "All right. And look at you," she pointed out, "again, you're not even tired! You haven't yawned once."

His eyes widened at this, and silently reprimanding himself, Carlisle immediately let his mouth fall open and covered it with his hand, doing his best impression of a yawn.

"Tonight, you tell me about you, okay?"

Carlisle did not know what he would tell her, only that he had an infinitesimal reserve of conjured stories in which to choose from. The very idea of lying to Esme brought upon himself a deep compunction. "Very well," he agreed. "Tonight."

As soon as Esme was out of sight, Carlisle took his leave at an unearthly speed, leaping over the wrought iron gate with ease, just as he had done so for the last number of visits, but as he approached his vehicle, a familiar scent touched his nose. Carlisle breathed a sigh, dread coursing through him as he approached his vehicle parked another two blocks away. A surge of gray in the sky swept through the cloudy blackness, giving the first glimpse of dawn and there, standing with arms folded across his chest like an angry statue before his car was Edward.

A/N: Please stay with me as I work my way through the final chapters...and please review! :)