I know you guys didn't like the last chapter. And neither did I. Hopefully you'll like this one better. I have a feeling you will. Thank you for 36 reviews. It really does make me happy!
Disclaimer: Nope.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
~Willie Nelson- 'You Are My Sunshine'
The ride back to the US is long and as much as he tries, he cannot sleep. He has done this once before and the sleep he had was filled with water and sand and somewhere in the middle of it all he loses her all over again. Gibbs, McGee and Ellie watch him carefully from the other side of the plane. Between them lies a wooden box.
A wooden box is too simple for her.
Stupidly, he thought he would be making this ride back with her. He thought that Ziva would be with them and that everything would be somehow righted. Something would have just clicked back into place and he would everything would be okay once again.
Oh how wrong and oh so stupid he was.
…
Gibbs drives Tony back to his house instead of Tony's apartment. Given a blanket and a pillow he is directed to the guest room. He doesn't even bother to flick on the light before he collapses on the bed, unfurls the blanket and lies down, waiting to escape to the realm of sleep.
He can't. All he sees is that white shard of bone glinting in the sun and the feeling of wanting to be sick stirs in his chest once more. He can't go to NCIS tomorrow. He can't face them. He can't face himself. Maybe he'll become Gibbs. Alone with boats. His apartment isn't big enough to build a boat and he wouldn't even know where to start.
It just seems like another tally in the list of failures. It seems like if he took each one and stretched them out, they'd last forever.
Although he rejected them at first, maybe he should go to those group sessions that help if you've lost someone. He didn't want to go before because he didn't feel like he had really lost her. She was still out there, somewhere in the world and he could always find her. She was safe and he had the knowledge of knowing that he would see her again some-day.
Except now she'd gone forever and all he's left with is sand in his shoes and a broken heart.
…
He awake when the clock in the guest room reads 12:07pm. His head is pounding and his heart is aching but he manages to peel himself from the bed and make it to the shower. Then the kitchen. Then to the sofa where he lies and looks at the ceiling.
Small steps. One at a time.
His phone buzzes with a text from McGee. Needed at Abby's lab. ASAP.
He doesn't want to go see Abby. Not because he doesn't want to comfort her and not because he's mad or anything like that. He doesn't want to see her because she does what he can't. She mourns. Openly. And a little part of him envies that.
Even so he manages to get himself into his car which is parked outside Gibbs' house (God bless the man for having forethought) and manages to make it to the Navy Yard. He's glad there's no traffic and no delays because driving gives him something to focus on, something to ground him. Traffic and delays make him still and give the demons in his head free reign.
When he walks into Abby's lab, he sees that she's not as distraught as he thought she would be. In fact, she's not distraught at all.
"Tony!" She cries, teetering over to him in her platform boots. She hugs him then and it's comfort and warmth and, although it sounds stupid, it's a thing to live for. "Are you okay? Well of course you're not okay but are you holding up? I brought some of my Grammy's apple pie for you. Do you like apple? 'Cause she has a recipe for berry too."
"Abs," McGee says, "why don't you tell him why we called him in here?"
"Right!" she nods, affirming. "Well here's the great news: the DNA you gave me? It's not Ziva's!"
Suddenly the world is spinning and he has to steady himself against Abby's table. "Whose is it?" He manages to croak out.
"Well the DNA is a 12.5% match which is consistent to what you would find between first cousins."
"So the-"he can't even say it, "who we found, that was Ziva's cousin?"
"Well yeah. Assuming Ziva has a cousin. But she must, 'cause DNA doesn't lie, Tony."
"Of course this doesn't prove that Ziva's alive," McGee says.
Oh she's alive. He can feel it, because it never felt like she was truly dead.
…
The first thing he wants to do is make a phone call to the Director of Mossad and find out exactly why Ziva's cousin was in the same place that Ziva was sent.
Except of course Gibbs stops him.
"Can't let you do this, Tony."
"We have to! She knows, Gibbs. If anyone knows, she does and we can't let her keep secrets from us if it's about Ziva!"
"Tony, if you go shake her up she's not going to tell us anything again."
Deep down Tony knows he's right. This could damage the very delicate, thread-thin relationship that Mossad and NCIS have. A part of him doesn't care. This is about Ziva. Damn everything else. Including Gibbs rules. Especially Gibbs rules.
"Who was Ziva's cousin?" is the first thing he says to Orli. The MTAC screen emphasises the bags under her eyes and the lines around her mouth. She looks tired.
"I do not understand what you are talking about, Agent DiNozzo. Or whom for that matter."
"The body we recovered at the compound. DNA is a match for Ziva's first cousin. Any idea who that might be? And don't bullshit me, Orli. I want you to be straight with me."
She sighs and shuffles around papers on her desk. Buying time but actually just delaying the inevitable. "Ziva's cousin was Officer Adine Mizrahi. She was a Kidon operative, Agent DiNozzo, one of the best we had. I am glad we finally know what happened to her."
The false feeling irks him and he can feel the anger like an acid breeze threatening to choke him. "What was she doing on Ziva's mission?"
Orli looks straight at him. "Actually, Agent DiNozzo, Ziva was on Officer Mizrahi's mission. It was a rescue mission. Do you not remember the video message from Ziva?"
This is for a very old friend, who has lost more than I ever have. She deserves this, and I will do it no matter what.
Suddenly it's clear. "What was Officer Mizrahi's mission?" He stumbles over the unfamiliar syllables of the surname.
"Her mission was to take out the Al Qaeda cell. When we heard no word from her, I contacted Ziva as her next of kin. She volunteered to go and finish Adine's mission and rescue her if need be. Obviously the mission was unsuccessful. She re-shuffles papers on her desk and looks at him with fire in her eyes and speaks with ice in her voice. "No matter what you think of me, Agent DiNozzo, I do care for Ziva and I did not leave her in the desert. We have to be careful in that area. We cannot afford anymore enemies. And no, I did not take that long to rescue her because of politics. They reinforced their guard; they made it harder for us, Tony."
The first name usage both annoys him and softens him. He believes her. He can see the sincerity and he can see that she is genuinely sorry for what has happened to her extraction team, her lover's daughter and one of her best officers.
"One more question, Director Elbaz. Do you think Ziva is dead?"
A sigh comes loud and crackly over the speakers. "Agent DiNozzo, for Ziva to have survived this for a second time, I think it would take a miracle." And then she cuts off.
It doesn't fill him with hope. When even the Director of Mossad thinks she couldn't have survived it. But when has the thoughts of the Director of Mossad stopped him anyway?
…
"Tony, I think I got something!" McGee calls to him from below the catwalk.
"Spill it, McFinder!" He shouts the nickname a little more harsh-sounding than intended. McGee doesn't even rise to it and Tony realises that he owes the probie big time. It's a little hard to swallow and acknowledge that McGee isn't a probie anymore.
"When we got back I looked at the satellite images from the past seven days and I managed to find when the camp moved." McGee moves it to the plasma. "Two days ago. They moved South West."
"You're great, McGee! Can we find out where they went?"
From his desk, Gibbs watches him wearily with narrowed eyes. And Tony just knows that Gibbs knows he defied Gibbs and did whatever the hell he wanted anyway. He'll pay for it later, but right now he doesn't care/
"Tony, I don't think we'll need to," McGee stutters and at the apprehension in his voice, both Ellie and Gibbs slowly move from their desks and to the plasma, where McGee is about to play the satellite video.
"I asked NSA to send this over once I looked at the stills, Tony. Look at this figure right here," McGee says, zooming in on whom he means.
The figure is being led out of one of the back doors of the compound, each wrist held roughly by two people flanking them on either side. One lets go and opens the door of a vehicle (which Tony thinks is a stupid move for a terrorist, you don't leave someone with a free hand) and the captive kicks the other's legs out from underneath them and knocks them out with a punch. Using that person's gun, the captive gun's down person number two and takes their gun too. They bend down and take their water flasks and food satchels and load them into the vehicle, before getting in and driving off at full speed.
"Is that-?" Ellie mutters.
"Yup," Tony says. "That's her!"
He only knows one person who could do ninja moves like that and get away with it.
"How on earth did she manage to get away? Surely the other guys must have heard the gunshot. Even if they are on the other side of the building."
"Weather reports say a storm was coming. It could've been silenced by the wind. Or they might've heard it but it was too late by the time they got there. Look at the speed in which she drives off." McGee sounds in awe.
"Someone should tell Abby," Gibbs says.
McGee will do that. Or Gibbs. But Tony has a more important job to do. He needs to find out where she went.
….
For the second time in an hour, he finds himself having an MTAC conversation with Orli.
"I cannot believe she managed to do it," she mutters, after watching the footage. "I cannot believe she managed to escape."
"That's what she was trained for, Orli. But this wasn't a social call. I need your help. Our tech guy said that she drove in North. Is there any reason why? There are only a few towns and villages where she was heading."
Orli suddenly looks interested. "North East or North West?"
He's confused. "Does it matter?"
"Agent DiNozzo, just answer the question!"
He has a feeling he has poked the bear just enough and perhaps too often. "East. Why?"
She looks… pleased. "There is a small village North East. It is barely acknowledged on a map. It is very useful for deep cover missions because of that. Mossad has a safe house there. There are weapons there, along with emergency rations of food and water because of the village's location. There are not, however, any phones or signal. Like I said, it is used for deep cover only."
He feels so deliriously happy. "Orli, where is this village?"
For once, things are starting to look up.