Blood

A scarlet liquid tinged Alfons palm and as he stare at it uncomprehendingly, he was wracked by another coughing fits though not as bad as last time. No blood this time, but the sudden dizziness rendered him unable to move on the deck. He's losing grip. His visions are getting blurry.

He didn't realize that he's stayed on the deck way too long. For Edward suddenly appeared before him, concern written all over his face. Alfons felt good about it, that this person before him is showing some care and affections. Sometimes it's nice being sick.

"Hey?! What happened?! You told me you'd be coming right away and its almost half an hour.." Edward helped Alfons on his feet for he's already staggered sideways on the railing. As big as Alfons is, Edward managed to lift him up his fit.

Alfons had to marvel on Edward's inhuman strength. The situation is something he found funny, as sick as he is. As Edward fully support him to get into their room. "Did you get sea sick again?" Edward asked, frowning.

"Yeah, something like that, Edward-san.. I'm sorry for the trouble.." Alfons said. But he didn't mean it. He was glad that Edward is very concerned on his well-being.

Even though I'm just a replacement..

It's a very negative and very bitter truth. But it's the truth nonetheless. Somehow or another, Alfons had to find a way to make do with that. Even if he had to exploit the very face, the very built and the very body he was born with.

How far can I fall?

Even though Alfons is not sure what was wrong with him, that thought is pushed aside at the back of his mind. All he could think about is the person before him. As long as he could get his attention his sickness could wait until they reach Romania. Its not like they can do so much in the middle of the ocean, thousand miles away from the nearest shore.

Exploit Edward-san…

That's the only things running through his brilliant mind, aside from rockets. As long as he could make Edward his, what does it matter? All the attention, all the caring and all the loving… He wanted everything to be his.

Edward brought a light breakfast on their cabin and as usual fuzzing all the details of the menu. But that was his own way of caring for him, of loving him. Sometimes it was easy and much simpler to deceive himself that he's the one Edward cares about. It was a lot simpler to fall for the lie for what it was than accepting the painful truth.

"Edward-san.. I don't feel too good. Will you stay with me?" Holding Edward left wrist that is currently wiping his sweat off his chest. Alfons asked in a very low tone that indicates that he absolutely do not feel well at all. He didn't think this could work even for a second. But then, Edward looked at him again with that kind of eyes he had on, the night before. The gloriously golden eyes that put the sunshine on shame with its wonderful golden hue.

Breathtakingly beautiful…

Edward frowned for a bit, maybe about to protest but finally relented. "Okay, if you say so. I'll just read a book here. Tell me if you need anything." Edward got a chair and sit next to Alfons. While Alfons occasionally asked Edward questions about Amestris and his brother.

Edward would adapt that melancholic look when he's talking about another world. Then hearing about his brother is painful too. But Edward would always looked at him from time to time, and during that fleeting moment, it was as if the time stopped and the world belongs to them alone.

"Edward-san, I want to whisper something in your ear.." Alfons said..

"What is it? Geez, we're the only people here." Though he said that, Edward leaned his ear to Alfons face. Then Alfons suddenly took hold of Edward's head and kissed his lips lightly. After a few seconds, Edward jerked back.

"W-What was that for?"Edward exclaimed, his left hand on his lips.

"You're just so adorable Edward-san. Didn't your brother do that to you too?" Alfons asked teasingly. Though the kiss meant a lot to him. He did that whimsically, because Alfons probably had a pretty good idea that Edward will forgive him for anything. The saving grace of being a replacement to Edward's beloved brother, he could take advantage of Edward's affections.

"H-He didn't." Edward said, blushing furiously..

"Is that so, Edward-san… What do you see me as?" Alfons asked, unable to stand it any longer. He really wanted to know, he really wanted to hear, the truth coming from Edward's own mouth. Although he already got a pretty much idea what Edward is going to say.

"Like a beloved brother.." Edward said earnestly..

"Is that so, I love you Edward-san.." Alfons maybe spoke those three words out of the mild fever that he's currently suffering from. Either way, he had never been more honest on his entire life than he is now.

Edward's eyes widened at those words. Though it was filled with happiness. "Wh-What are you saying?" Edward said, totally embarrassed.

"Nothing Edward-san.."Just plain truth. Alfons wanted to add but stopped himself. Then when he looked at Edward's face, he was crying. "W-Why, Edward-san?"

"N-Nothing, I just missed my brother." Edward hastily wiped his tears with his hands.

"Okay.."

"Alfons.."

"What?"

"Thank you.." Edward finally said and leaned to kiss Alfons forehead. Then for a moment, they didn't say anything after that. Edward resumed reading his book and Alfons drift into a comfortable sleep with Edward by his side..

How I wish these simple moments could last forever…

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I love you..

Those three words kept ringing on Edward's ears even after Alfons already fell asleep. Those three words that made him so unbelievably happy and satisfied. Those three words that is very apparent on his brother Alphonse actions and affections but never put into words.

If there is such thing as satisfaction in human, then this must be it. Although Edward knows that Alfons is probably delirious or just plain sick to utter those words, he was touched and happy nonetheless.

As he watch Alfons comfortable figure as he slept, Edward kept remembering Alphonse as an armor that never slept. Instinctively, Edward left hand lift to touch Alfon's face and stroking his cheek.

I wonder if Al also felt the same way. Just as smooth, just as warm and just as human..

Again, Edward is filled with regret and remorse. What he did to his brother and for what he did to their mother. He still can't forgive himself. As long as he lives, he'll never forget. As long as he didn't see Alphonse restored on his human body, he'll never be able to forgive himself.

To my brother, whom I love more than life itself…

Absent mindedly, Edward's hand also wondered through Alfons neck, then chest.. Going lower…lower…lower… lower.. Then Edward suddenly jerked his left hand back. He was remembering something he was not supposed to rember.

The things he shared with Alfons, he was like a brother to Edward, But most of the time he always forget that Alphonse is on the other side of the gate. And the Alfons here is probably nothing but a replica of his brother. He already knows that, and yet… there are things in life that couldn't be stopped even if his life depended on it. One of those is his growing affections to Alfons.

Oh, how I've always longed to touch my brother.. Smell him and fell his warm.

Those simple longings are being channeled to the person obliviously sleeping on the bed. How guilty he felt. This kind of feeling and longing is a kind of betrayal to his own brother and Alfons. How he wanted it and desired it with every fiber of his being. The feelings couldn't be more profound..

I want you..

But instead, Edward settled on ruffling Alfons's hair. Tears are rolling out of his eyes silently. It was both painful and satisfying to be like this with the person next to him. He wanted to atone for everything. He wanted to atone for every single mistake, for the time that Alphonse had lost and for being a failure of a brother.

I love you..

Though Edward is getting confused and disoriented to whom those words are directed to. Is it for his beloved brother? Or is it for the person sleeping next to him? Most of the time, it was easy to meld them both together. Alphonse and Alfons being the same would bring a lot of peace of mind to Edward.

For I am just a mere human, that's why I would accept anything that would make me happy..

Edward leaned his head and kissed Alfons lips. He's still asleep.

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Alfons is already conscious for quite a while now. Edward probably didn't notice but they have been there for half a day. Way past lunch. He awoke halfway through Edward's hand exploring him. He had to wonder what all of that meant.

Maybe there is more to Al than being Edward's brother. The way he touch him is almost like the way he would touch your beloved lover. He touched him gently, kindly and passionately, but Edward cried afterwards and he had to wonder about that too.

If I could become your brother, would you love me?

That thought lingers on Alfons's mind and kept haunting him, persuading him and telling him that if it's the only way that Edward would look at him, why not? Its wrong and its twisted, but this misguided love is already doomed from the start. So how far can he fall?

DISCLAIMERS:

I don't own FMA.. Thanks for reading^_^

Okay, I too think that this chapter is too dramatic.. But I think it's one of the needed elements. Alfons is falling deeper and deeper and Edward is falling, too? Haha.. Are you people still reading this? Please review if you do. Please look forward to rape once Alfons is diagnosed in Romania^_^ I already see the ending and you too probably. It's bound to be a sad one. But if people requested it, I might revise it to a happy ending. I'm open to constructive criticisms and suggestions. Once again, thank you..