*THANK-YOU for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much*
A FEW WEEKS LATER:
Over the next few weeks Azzy and I have been spending lots of time together and when we're not together we are constantly talking on the phone when I'm away. I hate leaving her behind but I have to do my job. I bought her a cell phone so that it is easier for us to talk when I'm on the road. It's my plan to bring her out on the road with me soon but once she is settled in at the diner I'll discuss it with her and see what she thinks. I'm not saying permanently but just once in a while I want to bring her out on the road with me, take her around to places for her to enjoy so we can enjoy traveling together. She really seems to like working at the diner and she's been working on getting her life together. I'm happy for her. She's doing very well.
I am sitting in the waiting room of the clinic while Azzy gets her birth control implant placed into her arm. We have been discussing birth control over the last few weeks with how active we are. I hate condoms and don't like to use them and she doesn't want to risk a pregnancy. I on the other hand am not too worried about an accidental pregnancy but since she is working so hard to get her life together I don't want to ruin that so we agreed that she would get the implant since she wouldn't be good at remembering the pill and she didn't want the shot and I would pay for it out of pocket since she doesn't have health insurance. The door opens to the back and she walks out to the waiting room to get me. "Hey," I say standing up. "How did it go?"
"Good," she says with a smile as she shows me where they put the implant. "The doctor said it should prevent pregnancy for 3 years and there is a very slim chance I could get pregnant probably about 1% so we are all good after 7 days."
"After 7 days?" I ask.
"Yeah," she says, "the doctor told me it won't be effective till after 7 days and they did an STD test on me as well. I should have those results back in a couple days but I'm pretty sure I'm good."
"All right," I say, "I'm good on the STD thing too and we can't have sex for 7 days?"
"No we can he just said to use a condom because it takes 7 days for the implant to become effective."
"Okay, I got you," I say with a smile. "So what do I need to do? Do I need to pay right now?"
"Yes," she says. "They are waiting for you."
"Okay," I say before I kiss her lips softly. "I'll be right back."
"Okay," she says, "thank-you."
"You're welcome," I say with a smile before I make my way to the window in the back to pay for her implant. It's a lot of money but it's worth it if it protects her from getting pregnant too soon. I hand the woman behind the window my debit card and have her swipe to complete the payment. She hands me a receipt and I am on my way.
After Azzy's appointment we decided to go have lunch at my brother's diner for a lunch date and then we go to see an afternoon movie just to get in as much time as we can together before I go back out on the road. I love spending time with her. I wasn't so sure of our relationship at first but in the last few weeks I have realized I am glad I listened to Roman and Seth or else I would be missing all this with her. She's a great girl, she's beautiful, she's smart and she's funny. My time with her is my favorite time of the day. We've been keeping our relationship private from the group and I haven't mentioned her too much because I don't want anyone in our business. We are doing us and I don't want anyone getting in between us or for her to be scared off by my fans. She isn't ready for that lifestyle yet. "So what do you want to do now?" I ask as we are walking out of the movie theater.
"I don't know," she says with a smile. "We could have Chinese food and hang out at my apartment if you want to."
"Sounds good," I say with a smile. "Do you think you're ever going to come to my house?"
"I don't know," she says. "I want to but I'm not ready. It's a comfort thing. I've been through a lot that I really don't like going to places I don't know by myself. I trust you but it's just I'm not ready."
"It's okay, Azalea, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I will be patient with you but my house is bigger and my bed is bigger."
"I'm sure it is," she says with a smile as she leans into me and I kiss the top of her head taking in the scent of her coconut shampoo as I wrap my arm around her shoulders as we walk outside the movie theater.
"Damn it," I murmur to her.
"Hmm?" she asks.
"Tessa from group is here," I say.
"Oh," she says. "Maybe we shouldn't be seen like this together?"
"Probably not," I say, "but it's too late now." Tessa and her friends have already spotted us and Tessa is making her way over to us.
"Hello, Dean," she says as I stop with Azzy keeping my arm wrapped around her shoulders.
"Hello, Tess," I say with a soft smile as she looks at me and then she looks at Azzy. "How are you?"
"Good," she says keeping her eyes on Azzy. "How are you?" she asks bringing her dark brown eyes back to me.
"I'm doing pretty good," I say. "So you're going to see a movie?"
"Yeah," she says. "Did you and Azzy see a movie together?"
"Yes we just saw The Avengers," I say with a smile. "What are you seeing?"
"Probably Pitch Perfect 2," she says. "So are you two together?"
"We're hanging out," I say with a nod.
"I see but like are you two together?" she asks keeping her eyes on me as I hold Azzy close to me.
"I guess you could say that," I say with a smile as I feel Azzy's hazel eyes on me. I look at her and smile.
"Interesting," says Tessa.
"Well," I say, "I hope you enjoy your movie. Have a good day."
"You too," she says before we walk away and I can feel Tessa's eyes on me as we walk together to my car.
"I can't believe you told her we are together," says Azzy as we get into my car.
I shrug my shoulders and say, "It's the truth right?"
"Yeah but it's against the rules isn't it for us to be involved with each other?"
"It's frowned upon not against the rules," I say with a smile as I take her hand into mine as I pull out of the parking space. "Besides what's Tessa going to do?"
"Tell everyone in the group," she says as she intertwines her fingers with mine.
"So what if she does. It doesn't matter to me if they know. That means we don't have to hide it anymore besides I am sure Tessa is upset."
"Why because you're with me?"
"Yeah and not with her she has been interested in me for a while. She doesn't care she's asked me out on a date before. If I were you I wouldn't worry about it."
"Did you go out on a date with her?" she asks.
"Of course not, I'm not interested in her."
"But why are you interested in me?" she asks. "I'm 18 you're 29. You are at a different place in your life and you don't know me at all."
"I know enough to know that you're beautiful and you're smart. And it doesn't matter to me if you're 18 or 28 I am still crazy about you," I say giving her a smile as I am stopped at a red light. "There is nothing that I don't know about you that would make me walk away, Azzy. I'm in it because I like you and I want to see how far this goes and I believe it's going pretty far."
"I don't know," she says.
"Relax, Azzy," I say as I stroke her knuckles with my thumb. "There is nothing that can change my mind about you. I don't know what you do to me but I know you give me this feeling that I don't ever want to lose you. It may be really soon to have those feelings but the moment I met you I was hooked on you. I don't want to lose you."
"Losing people is a part of life," she says, "People have promised to never leave me and they have. What makes you different? Right now we're all about the hot sex we have together and a few dates here and there but really what are you attracted to when you see me?"
"Everything," I say. "I'm attracted to everything about you, Azzy. Stop being down on yourself everyone else may have left you but I'm not everyone else. I am someone different. I am me and I think I am in love with you," I say. "I just can't stop spending time with you or thinking about you when I'm away. I miss you every time I go out on the road. I miss you before I even leave. Azzy, what we have is hard to explain but it's real. The attraction we have to each other is more than just hot sex. It's more than sex."
"You can't be in love with someone that you don't know," she says, "Please don't tell me you're in love with me until you know the real me. You don't know a thing about me except what I have allowed you to know."
"Azzy, I told you there is nothing that you tell me that would make me change my mind. When you're ready to tell me I'll be listening."
"Okay," she says as she begins to look out the window.
The car ride to the Chinese restaurant is done in silence and after we get our order from them the car ride back to Azzy's apartment is done in silence. I try to start a conversation with her but to no avail. When we get back to her apartment I carry the Chinese food into her room as I follow behind her. She says hi to Brooke on our way to the bedroom and stops to pick up Brooke's daughter and gives her a kiss on the cheek before playing with her a bit before putting her back down. Watching her interact with Brooke's daughter is adorable. I can tell she really likes kids but I also understand at 18 she isn't ready to be a mom yet. "Are you okay?' I ask as I shut the bedroom door behind me.
"I'm fine," she says, "I was just thinking."
"Are you sure?" I ask laying our food down on the dresser before I walk over to her and cup her cheeks with my hands as I look into her beautiful hazel eyes before I lean in and kiss her lips softly.
"I'm sure," she says with a smile as I break the kiss. "I was really just thinking that's all. Let's eat."
"What if I'm not ready to eat?" I ask with a smile, "and I want to do something else?"
"I'm ready to eat," she says with a smile. "Besides I don't want our food to get cold because we have hot sex with each other," she says as I stroke her cheekbone with my thumb. "As much as I want to," she says as she rubs my chest through my shirt. "I think we should eat and talk maybe hold off on the sex tonight."
"Okay," I say. "We can talk. I'm all about talking," I say with a smile as I kiss her lips once more before I let her go as I go to get our food from her dresser. We take a seat on the floor and I hand her food to her and pull mine out of the bag. I hand her chopsticks and pick up my own. I don't care if we are intimate physically or emotionally but spending my Friday night with her in her bedroom, talking and eating Chinese food works for me. "So what do you want to talk about?" I ask.
"Anything," she says. "I just want to get to know you and know more about you. Let's play 20 questions. I'll ask you a question and then you'll ask me a question even if it is the same question. How does that sound to you?"
"Sounds like a plan," I say with a smile before taking a bite of my food. "I'll answer anything as long as you do the same."
"I'll answer anything too," she says with a smile. "So what is your favorite movie of all time?"
"Easy one, Batman," I say, "what about you?"
"I have to go with 10 Things I Hate About You that movie is my all-time favorite movie. What is your favorite color?"
"Red," I say, "and yours?"
"Black," she says making me smile. It's just like her to like the color black. It fits her personality.
"Okay let me ask you a question," I say.
"Okay," she says with a smile.
"What is your favorite type of music?"
"Hip Hop and pop," she says, "what about you?"
"Rock," I say with a smile. "If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go?"
"Anywhere in the world I would go to Italy," she says. "I hear it's beautiful in Italy. I'm sure you've traveled pretty much everywhere, where is your favorite place in the world to travel?"
"I have to say Europe. I love going to Europe. It's one of my favorite places to visit. The crowds are awesome and just seeing the beauty is fun."
"Cool," she says with a smile. "When you were younger what did you want to be when you grew up?"
"I wanted to be a firefighter when I was like 5 but as I got older I got the idea that I wanted to be a wrestler and here I am. Of course I had to go through some personal demons to get here but I made it. What about you?"
"I always wanted to be a teacher," she says, "a second grade teacher but right now I want to be a drug and alcohol counselor. I want to find a community college to go to and register for classes so I can start working toward my degree but first I have to get my GED."
"I can find you some places that can help you get your GED and then help you get into college."
"That would be awesome," she says with a smile. "You're so good to me."
"Because I love you," I say with a smile.
"Don't use the l word," she says, "I'm not ready for it."
"It's okay," I say with a smile. "I saw you with Brooke's daughter out there do you like kids?"
"I love kids," she says, "I want to have a lot of kids when I get my life together and I'm stable. I want to have like 5 kids."
"Really?" I ask.
"Really," she says with a smile. "Do you like kids?"
"I love kids," I say with a smile. "I would love to have a big family someday."
"Me too," she says with a smile. "And I want to get married to a great man. What about you? Do you want to get married again?"
"To the right person yes," I say with a smile. "I think I only married before because I got the girl pregnant. I don't think it was actually true love that pushed me to marry her. When I find the right girl I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her."
"Do you ever think you'll find the right girl?" she asks with a smile.
"I think I've already found her," I say with a soft smile.
"Oh," she says as her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. "Dean, can I tell you anything?"
"You know that you can," I say. "What's up?" I ask.
"It's about my past. It's about me and the things I did."
"Okay," I say. "If you're ready go ahead and tell me."
"I'm ready," she says as she nods. "Do you remember when I told you about that guy that I fell in love with that got me hooked on heroin?"
"Yes," I say, "I remember."
"Well, he also got me pregnant the night he overdosed and died. We were shooting up and having a wild night together and the next morning I woke up he was dead. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to have the baby. I was only 16 but I wanted to have the baby but I couldn't kick my heroin habit as hard as I tried. I kept shooting up and it affected my baby. If I would have kept the pregnancy going it would have been born without a brain and I couldn't do that. There would be no function, it would never walk, talk or do anything not even breathe," she says with tears in her eyes, "so I aborted the baby and went on with my life. It was the hardest thing I ever did but I had to do it because I screwed up. Losing the first guy I ever loved and losing my baby really tore me up. I got lost further into heroin. I used it to kill my pain. I was shooting up more than I can count in a day. I spent my life being high pretty much and as soon as the high was coming down I shot up again. I met two guys shortly after that provided me with heroin. They pumped it into me. Their names were Ty and Chris," she says. "They offered to take care of me and by take care of they kept me high and kept pumping me with drugs then they started to use me for sex. To get drugs I needed to have sex with them. I had to do what they wanted me to do to get high and I did it because I needed that fix. Then they started putting me out on the streets to get drugs. They pretty much pimped me out to get their drugs or to pay for their drugs. They rented me out at parties to other guys. It was horrible. I was their sex slave but in return I was getting high. They took care of me. They fed me and clothed me. I was dependent on them just like I was dependent on heroin. I needed my fix so I did what I needed to do. Often times I didn't have a choice. If they wanted me to have sex with a friend or someone I did it just so they could get their drugs or pay their debts. There were times I had trains ran on me; guy after fucking guy just so they could get what they want. They had me work hour after hour having sex with people sometimes I was so raw and sore but they didn't care they made me work because it was their business. I'm not proud of it but when you're high 95% of your life you do what you have to do. And when you need that fix you do what you have to do. It was probably the worst time of my life. I got beat up, I got raped and I got destroyed out on the streets but it was life for me. It was what I knew. I wanted to go back home but the urges for heroin and the other drugs they pumped into my system were just too strong. It made me depend on them. They had the goods and to get it I had to stay with them," she says. "It is really something I'm not proud of but it happened and I'm sorry if I'm not this amazing girl you thought I was and I understand if you don't want me anymore because I'm damaged goods but know that I'm trying to change my life. I'm trying to be a better person. I want it all in life. I want a family, I want a husband, I want a job and I want kids. I want a good life not a life on the streets. I'm sorry, Dean," she says with tears streaming down her cheeks.
I don't know what to say. My heart breaks for her. She went through a lot. I have heard and known of women being a sex slave for men to get drugs but she was just a little girl. She was 16 years old. She was just a baby. They turned her out before she even had a chance to live her life. "Azzy," I say wiping her tears away. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I know what it's like out on the streets. You were a baby. You were only 16 years old. You did what you thought you needed to do. We all have a past but our past doesn't determine our futures. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I'm sorry that you had to do everything you were forced to do. I'm really sorry. You should have never had to go through that or deal with any of that. I'm sorry, Azalea."
"You don't hate me? And you don't think I'm trash?"
"I could never think like that. I don't care what you did in the past. I don't care about who you were. I could never hate you and you're not trash, Azzy. I only care about who you are right now and who you're trying to be. I can't hold your past against you but it pains me because you're so beautiful and you're so smart. You were so young and they turned you out before you even got to know what life was about. I can't even imagine how hard it was for you."
"It wasn't hard. I hated it but like I said I spent the last couple years hooked on heroin and high. I was in a zone. I knew it was happening but I didn't stop it. I couldn't. I needed the drugs. Getting arrested was the best thing that ever happened and when Ty and Chris walked away that was the best thing for me because now I can get my life together. I just wish I didn't do what I did."
"I know," I say as I wrap her up in my arms. "but it's okay. You won't ever have to do that again. No one here is going to turn you out on the streets. You're going to have a good life and you're going to get the future that you want whether it's with me or if we don't work out another guy. I'm here to help you remember. I'm not here to judge you for the things you've done but to help you better yourself and to help you through your urges while loving the shit out of you, Azalea. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here and I'm going to be here. You don't have to worry about me leaving you."
"Dean," she says snuggling into my chest, "that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I love you," she says as she looks up at me with those beautiful eyes and a smile on her face.
"I love you too, Azalea," I say with a smile before I lean down and kiss her lips softly.
*A/N: So what do you think of Azzy going on birth control? Is it the best thing for her and Dean right now? What do you think of Dean paying for it? Was it smart for him to tell Tessa that him and Azzy are together? What do you think of Dean telling Azzy he loves her? What about them getting to know each other better? WHy do you think Azzy is so scared to go to Dean's house? What do you think of Azzy's past? Are you surprised Dean stayed despite what she told him? Please review and thank-you for reading.