"Remind me, why did we have to go back into the desert?" Waluigi lifted his cap so he could wipe his brow. "I think I preferred the Frozen Mountain over this place." The Sun beat down mercilessly on the endless stretches of sand. The mountain he referred to was already a faint spot on the horizon.
"We have no other choice, Mr W. We only went up Frozen Mountain to avoid the Deep Gullets, but then Kamek dragged us off to the Ice Lake. If we didn't go back through the mountain to the desert, we'd have to pass through the Knife-Edge Peaks and then the Burning Caves. Boy, the place names in your world sure are literal." Starmac held out a weathered old map before him. "Anyway, it was nice of the Snow Rangers to catch up with us. This map is going to come in really handy."
"Yeah, and they gave us a lunch too. So isn't there a town nearby? I'm getting tired of this desert."
Starmac's eyes scanned the map. "I can't promise you any recent civilisation, but we'll pass through some ruins soon," he said optimistically. His smile quickly faded. "Oh. You know what, we should probably go around it. Someone drew crossbones across it."
Waluigi snatched the map away and stared intently into its depths. "No way, lightbulb. The fastest way out of this stinking place is through these ruins, so that's what we'll do. Any idea what unera is?" he asked and pointed to the name above. Starmac peered over his shoulder.
"Unera Ruins… no, doesn't ring any bells, but it sounds kind of friendly."
Waluigi smiled sardonically. "Yeah, because a friendly old ruin would be marked with skull and bones." He chuckled enthusiastically and folded the map together. "Perhaps there'll be some ancient mystery that we can solve there."
Starmac settled on Waluigi's shoulder. "I just wonder how it can still be this hot, when the sky is so overcast." He put his arm up over his eyes and gazed up ahead. The bleak clouds created by the negative energy covered the view to the heavens. The only hole was above Mount Frozen, so far back that it could not be seen anymore.
Most of the ruins had crumbled long ago and disappeared into the sand. The high walls of the temple, however, had preserved it. Still, a good layer of sand hid the floor of the courtyard from view. Mounted high on pillars, identical faces glared down at them. They were flat, and had only angry eyes and a mouth ready to spit at them.
Waluigi waddled into the complex, immediately seeking a shadow's shelter. He sat down on the steps leading into the temple and took off his cap to fan himself. Starmac came down from above. "I can't sense any form of life here. We should probably just get out of here as fast as we can, Mr W." He eyed the faces scowling at them from everywhere; built into the corners and balustrades and walls.
"I've been walking all day, lightbulb. Gimme a break." Waluigi took a bottle of water and a lunch pack from inside his overalls.
Starmac sat down on the steps next to him. "But look at how well-preserved this place is, even after all this time. I don't see any bones lying around either, so whoever lived here must have fled." His eyes shifted around nervously, expecting some kind of monster to leap out.
Waluigi waved his hand dismissively. "Bah, that was thousands of years ago. Nothing could have survived here for that long." He unfolded the paper around his lunch and tore into the sandwich. "Not bad. I feared the worst from creatures living off of ice and snow."
They couldn't see the Sun, but it made itself be felt through the dark veil eroding day and night. "All right, you can eat here, but then we go, agreed? Besides, you're the one who wanted to leave the desert quickly," Starmac pointed out.
"Right, but that was before I found this place. Got a nice, mystical feel to it, eh?" He chuckled sinisterly and swallowed the last of his meal. He reached out for the second sandwich when he felt something crawl over his hand. He looked down and found a grub staring up at him. "I thought you said this place was deserted?"
He slapped the larva away and dusted off his sandwich before eating it. Starmac started up as the worm flew past him. It quickly undulated its way across the sand. "That's odd, I didn't notice anything like that a moment ago. How could anything live out here?" He followed the grub with his eyes. It went into a crack in the wall where it had likely come from. "If the ruins aren't empty after all, then, all the more reason that we should leave here quickly."
"Tell me something," Waluigi said and with his mouth full. "Do you sense a star here?"
Starmac opened his mouth to answer, but found he had nothing to say. He took a deep breath of the desert air. "Faintly. It's like when we were in Snowman Village, so there could be one below us. But with this weak a reading, I could be picking up any number of false leads," he quickly inserted.
Waluigi threw the rest of his meal inside his gullet and got up again. "Then we best go and check it out, lightbulb. Since we had to give up that shine sprite, we haven't really got any new powers for a while. You're the one who said we couldn't show up at Peach's castle yet."
"Well, yes, I suppose there is that." Starmac sat down on Waluigi's cap. "B-but still, there could be a monster down there, or any number of traps. It's really quite hard to tell at this distance and with so much sand and stone between us," he protested.
The entrance was held up with sun-baked arches. The stone faces followed them even as Waluigi stepped inside. "No sweat," he grinned. "I can take care of anything that happens, just try and stop me. Wahaha!"
The temple lobby was church-like with rows of stone benches leading up to a pulpit in the middle. The walls were decorated with carvings and old script, all of it neatly etched into the sandstone bricks. Corridors slanted down, into the heart of the complex.
"Look at all this," Starmac said awed. Curiosity immediately overtook him, enticing him to examine the ancient story telling. "Looks like this place was quite green and wet at some time."
Waluigi rubbed his chin as he found more of the angry faces inside as well, set into the walls right below the ceiling. "Does it say anything about those things?"
"Guardians, I think. They are mentioned a few times in the pictures. Oh, what I wouldn't give to understand the text as well. If I had known your world was this fascinating, I would have visited a lifetime ago."
The star being went around the room, searching, but Waluigi had gotten his fill. "Which way do you want to go, lightbulb? Left or right?"
Unheeding, Starmac finished with one side and went over to the next. "Nothing here about what happened to them. Then my theory was probably right; they did flee, and they didn't have time to write anything down. The rest is just about how they came here and how good life was." They were small beings that could have been toads or any number of other things. The old carvings were eroded in places and broken in others. "The last thing they mention, the newest carving relatively, appears to be a trade they made with some nomads. Lots of toys and exotic food and… scribbles."
"Right, left it is."
Waluigi waddled down the left corridor and disappeared into the darkness.
"Do you think we could stay here for a bit, Mr W? I really like this place… Mr W?"
Starmac looked around him. Waluigi was nowhere to be found. He had reached another level of the temple reserved for the staff. The corridor was filled with small rooms where primitive beds had been. Nothing but dust remained on top of the stone slabs. He passed them all by, wrinkling his nose, and came to the room at the end.
It had belonged to someone important, being several times bigger and equipped with more furniture. Its rich decorations, however, were long gone. Once filled with vibrant colours, only the stark walls remained.
Another grub crawled across a desk on the left. Waluigi sat down on the stool behind it and observed the worm slither. He sent it flying with a flick of his finger. It landed on the floor and scurried away.
"There's nothing exciting here, lightbulb. You're right, let's just go." Waluigi finally looked up and realised that he was alone. "Lightbulb?" He went out of the room. Starmac was nowhere to be seen, so Waluigi crossed the hallway once more.
He had missed the stairs down. Granted, they were right next to the stairs up. New curiosity bobbled forth in Waluigi. All thoughts about Starmac were gone, and he made his way downstairs.
The new corridor ran perpendicular of the stairs. Pillars held up the ceiling. They were sturdy, too wide for even Waluigi's long arms to grasp around. At the top sat the grotesque faces, leering at him. Waluigi, annoyed, kept an eye on them as he went inside.
Faded images told of the ancient worship that happened in the temple. Even Waluigi had to pause when he saw the object of his query. It had long ago glimmered brilliantly from gold paint. Now he could barely make out the star held up to the congregation. The painting took a few minutes for him to get, but then a wicked smile crept over his face. He traced his hand over the painting and clenched it over the depicted star. A grub slithered past his feet.
"I knew it, I knew there would be a star here. This temple practically reeks of it." He snickered and went down the pillar hall, casting his head around, finding new stairs to descend. "Now where is it? I bet it must be all the way at the bottom." Waluigi came to a narrow walkway, the eternal abyss only a mistake away. The platform was already crumbling. Here and there, remains of a balustrade still stood. Waluigi stepped forward. A few pieces broke off and flew into the dark.
Giving the dangerous conditions no more than a sneer, Waluigi steered directly for a dark room. He was barely inside before his surprised yelp echoed through the ruin.
"Waluigi?" Starmac put down a pottery shard and looked up. He had heard something, hadn't he?
The right-hand stairs had taken him down into a kitchen. The broken jars had enraptured him, thinking what they could have held, what meals could be made on the ancient stove, what else had been lost to time. Hearing the noise, whatever it was, made him worry. He fluttered through the room where perhaps a dozen kitchen helpers could work at once. He had noticed the stairs further down as soon as he entered, but paid them no mind. He should have.
The next room was some kind of ceremonial dressing room. Once, clothes had been kept in the stone casket, but naught remained save for a metal crown. The howl reverberated again through the structure. Starmac resolved his face. It had been louder this time. He wasn't just closer, he was also sure it wasn't his imagination.
Further into the temple, lower and lower through the next stairs, and he came to an abyss. His face paled. Had Waluigi plunged down there? Starmac nervously hovered out past the ledge and stared into the dark. He couldn't see the bottom, even glowing as he was. He braved lower into the hole when he heard grunts and swearing. Relieved, he sprang up from the pit again. The sounds had definitely been Waluigi, and they had come from the room overlooking the depths.
Starmac hurried. "I'm coming," he called out, anxious about the pained moans from his comrade.
Waluigi was neck deep in sand, and without the aid of his arms. Only his head protruded, spluttering and spitting. A sphere flew across the room and cracked open on his face. Perhaps once a deadly projectile, it was now so weathered that it posed little more than an annoyance. Starmac looked around for the source.
It was the face. Only stone, it no less possessed life, enough to bedevil Waluigi with ancient missiles. He wriggled, but the sand had got him in a tight lock. And more were coming. All the faces around the room came alive to belch out the aggravating force.
Frantically, Starmac looked around for any kind of aid. Several things floated on top of the viscous sea. Among them, Starmac spotted a metal board. Whatever it had been part of lay quashed under the sand, and this one piece broken free. Starmac grabbed it quickly and put it down in front of Waluigi's face. The first projectile banged into the impromptu shield and bounced off, hitting the face that had spat it. The face closed its eyes and became inanimate. Starmac gasped at his discovery.
It was harder than his fluke had made it seem. The spheres came from all sides, and getting them to just hit the board was hard enough. Next was getting them to fly back at the faces. There were seven of them left, mounted high on pillars all through the wide room. All the while, Waluigi craned his neck to avoid being drowned. Only his height had saved him thus far. "I hope this is going to help, lightbulb. If hitting those stone faces doesn't shut the sand trap, then I'll come back to haunt you, you got that?"
Starmac nodded resolutely and redoubled his effort. The sand was past Waluigi's chin. The next two stone faces were down. The sand crept up to Waluigi's lips. Another two stone faces down, and another two missed. The sand crawled up towards Waluigi's nose. His face was horizontal in his desperate attempt to breathe. Starmac adjusted his board and got another one. Waluigi's face disappeared. Only the tip of his hook nose jutted out like a shark fin.
The next shot hit Starmac instead, and the star being toppled back, stunned. The sand submerged Waluigi entirely. Starmac shook his head and got up. He had only one chance before Waluigi would drown. The angry face's puffed-out cheeks hurtled out another sphere. It banged into the board and flew back. Starmac closed his eyes. A satisfactory click told him he had been successful.
The room rumbled. Quicker than the sand had filled, it left again through grates in the floor. Waluigi was once again revealed. He fell on his stomach, breathing deeply.
"That was too close," Starmac said feebly and threw the board away. "What happened?" He flopped down on Waluigi's back, drained of all his strength.
"Dunno. I thought the sand would be more solid, but I sank through, and then the room filled up," Waluigi explained, spread-eagled on the floor.
They took a well-deserved rest for a few more minutes before Starmac sat up. "I've had enough of this place," he said, dusting himself off. The tiny grains clung even to his star body. "Perhaps we should just leave already."
"Not a chance!" Waluigi snickered evilly. "There's a star down here, no doubt about it, and I am going to find it." He got up as well, Starmac hovering around him.
"You know, this trap could be hiding a lot of things. It doesn't have to be a star." Starmac sat down on his shoulder. "Like, long dead kings, or hordes of gold and jewels. Perhaps even both," he reasoned.
"But you feel a star nearby, right?" Reluctantly, Starmac nodded. "Then it's settled!"
Laughing, he trudged on with Starmac. "Woe and bother," the star being said as Waluigi stepped up to the opposite platform. "I hope we can just nab it and leave."
Waluigi pushed into the darkness of the next room. There was light, but it was dim. His eyes took a moment to adjust. The entire temple had a clever arrangement of mirrors and holes reaching the surface to provide light, but this next room was eerily twilit. A strange breeze blew, carrying a stench of mould and stale air. And then there was the ever-present noise, like something slimy being dragged across the stone floor.
There was another grub. Waluigi kicked it aside. Another one. And another one. Starmac clenched his eyes and puffed his cheeks. His light intensified, and they could see the terrible truth of the room they had entered.
The walls were covered in thick, silky web. Hundreds of grubs, thousands of them, slithered around it, dropping to the floor like wet towels, and continued. Trapped within the web was the star, but protecting it was the biggest moth either of them had ever seen. Almost two metres tall, with horns on each side of its face and wings in a sun pattern, it squatted comfortably in its web.
"Oh… right. If this was hiding in my basement, I would also flee," Starmac muttered. His light returned to normal out of surprise, but the super moth blew a tongue of fire. The torches around the room previously hidden burnt free and blazed up.
"But it's been here for thousands of years." Waluigi slowly backed away. The moth observed him with its compound eyes. "How can it still be alive?"
"It must have gone into hibernation after eating everything here." Starmac found safety clinging to Waluigi's neck. "The star must have kept it alive all this time."
Waluigi bumped into something. He looked behind him and saw that the way back was blocked. Each grub could not do much, but with sheer numbers, they had created a new wall in the matter of seconds. "Then what woke it up?"
"My guess? Us," Starmac said wryly humorous. "So what do you want to do?"
"Obviously, we panic." Waluigi clawed desperately at the silk wall, but there were too many layers. It was impenetrable. He banged his fists against it angrily.
Starmac swallowed a lump forming in his throat. The super moth flittered with its wings, and embers flew into the air. "Maybe we shouldn't have given that shine sprite away after all. The more I think about it, the dumber it seems. We could have used it to free everyone from the misery spell, and not just those villages on the mountain."
Waluigi must have sensed the despair choking Starmac's voice, and remembered how fragile the star being was, as he immediately seized his futile digging attempts and stood up tall. "What's done is done, lightbulb. All you have to worry about is the here and now." He rolled up his sleeves and went into the middle of the room. The super moth kept careful watch on him.
"W-what are you going to do?"
Rather than answering, Waluigi went right up to the moth. Below it was the star, dangling in reach of Waluigi. He put out his arms. The super moth buzzed nervously. The air filled with its fiery scales.
"I know you like this star, you big bug, but this is Waluigi's," he said and chuckled. He weaved his hands into the threads. He touched the star when the super moth cried out in a tone so loud he almost couldn't hear it. He fell on his behind, clutching his ears.
The grubs attacked at once, spitting their web. Waluigi tried to wave it off, but it came from too many angles. He was soon covered in a thin film, still struggling. Starmac was forgotten, hovering in the air. "We've already absorbed a couple of stars," he said through gritted teeth. "That ought to account for something. Come on, you old fogey, you can do this."
Waluigi wriggled around helplessly, but the threads were too strong. He was soon completely impassive. Starmac needed no more time to think. He swooped down, trailing a gale behind him, blowing the grubs away. Without the assault, Waluigi began to free himself. More grubs crawled out of the webs. Starmac made another turn over them, and again, and again, until Waluigi was up.
He kicked and stomped the little worms, and the threat was soon dissolved. The super moth howled again. Waluigi had barely got his hands up when soothing tunes reverberated from Starmac's body. The super moth flapped its wings and looked at them curiously. Starmac's light pulsed in rhythm with the melody he was playing.
"Thank you, lightbulb. I'll take it from here."
Again Waluigi approached the star. The super moth howled, but Starmac cancelled it out. Waluigi put his hands into the web, tugging at the star. The super moth sloshed around, sluggish and still sleepy. Its sun-shaped arrangement of wings buzzed angrily. Scales loosened themselves like flickering confetti. One touched on Waluigi's shoulder and erupted into flames. It was just a tiny one, but another scale landed on his hat and did the same. Before Waluigi could even wriggle the star half-free, he was covered in a dozen small fires. He sprang back, frantically patting himself.
"You want to play rough? Let's play rough," Waluigi huffed, smouldering. "I'm-a getting that star one way or the other, and if you want to cheat, then I will cheat too. Lightbulb, give me some star juice." He flexed his fingers and laughed sinisterly, his face suddenly cast in darkness from his cap's shadow.
The super moth shivered in its net. It closed its eyes and cried out frightened. A veil of fire surrounded it. The flames crackled but harmed it none, nor its web, though hot enough for Starmac to retreat. Waluigi stood his ground just a few steps away. His cap caught fire from the intense heat. Starmac almost forgot Waluigi's command in the process, but Waluigi shouted something over the roar of the blaze.
Starmac puffed himself up. A bridge of yellow light connected him with Waluigi. Waluigi waved his arms triumphantly and let loose a battle cry. The super moth whimpered and intensified its fire. A sea of flames licked up against the ceiling and spread out along the walls.
Waluigi was fine, however. A bubble of icy cold water surrounded him. It hissed angrily, and mist boiled out. Waluigi threw his arms at the moth, and a wave splashed forth. The fires in the web went out. The super moth clung desperately to its perch, but the flood washed against it with great power. It squeaked and squirmed as it was rocked about. Finally it could hold on no longer. The super moth tumbled head over tail, off to the side, steam rising from its body.
"Awesome." Starmac hung in the air, his eyes wide. "I had no idea you could do that, Mr W," he said.
Waluigi wiped his finger under his nose. He was not wet in the least, but the room was drenched and all the sconces put out. Still it was bright, as the star glowed with all its might. "It's just something I can do in the heat of battle." He followed up his statement with a staccato of laughing.
Getting the star was no trouble at all. The water and fire had turned the threads to mush. As soon as Waluigi got his hands on the star, it dissolved and became part of him. The white slop covering it fell to the floor.
The grubs, what were left of them, slithered through Waluigi's legs towards the super moth. They burst into flames, becoming little clouds of smoke, and joined with the super moth. They had never been real. The worms were just scouts and soldiers. "We're done here," Waluigi said and waddled towards the exit.
The moth whimpered pathetically, its compound eyes swimming. "We can't just leave it here," Starmac said, choking up. "How's it going to survive without the star?"
Waluigi stopped in the entrance. "And how is it going to survive out there?" he asked tired.
"We should at least give it a chance. It might die out there, but it's bound to die down here."
Waluigi turned around. His face was soft. He sighed and went back. The super moth had only tiny arms sticking out of its white chest fluff, all four of them wriggling like a child wanting to be picked up. Waluigi hoisted it up on his back. With nothing to hold on with, Waluigi bent over and held tightly around its thorax.
Very carefully, Waluigi went to the sand trap area. The super moth could barely fit through the opening. It closed its eyes and folded its warm wings around Waluigi. Starmac remained just behind to ensure everything went smoothly. "You know, this poor thing must have come here thousands of years ago as an egg," he said and smiled. "I don't know who these ancients traded with, but this moth could have come from any corner of the world. All alone. No friends or family… no parents at all."
"That's great and all, but could you give me some more juice?" The glow surrounding Waluigi was fading, and his knees began to shake. They were barely through the sand trap area. "This thing must weigh a ton."
"Oh, sorry. And then it grew and ate all the supplies in the area. Looking at how big it is, no wonder the people had to move. And then they just left it here. Unbelievable."
The glow intensified around Waluigi. He had no trouble getting it up the steps and ramps, going the way he had used. Once they were out, the super moth buzzed its wings. It flew off Waluigi's back and into the air. There it hung, looking mournful at its helper.
Waluigi waved his cap at it. "We got you up here, now get on with you," he said. The moth misread the situation and hovered back to Waluigi, embracing him tightly, purring. Waluigi threw his arms around confused. "What are you doing, you crazy pest? I told you to get going, didn't I? You can't hang around here forever."
The super moth nodded and propelled itself backward, not willing to lose sight of Waluigi, higher and higher up. It got out of the shade of the temple. No doubt it was the first time it saw the saw the sun. It nodded almost knowingly. One last time it looked back at Waluigi, and then it was off. Despite looking like an oversized bumblebee with its horrible aerodynamics, it was fast, and it was soon just a speck in the sky.
Waluigi collapsed down on the steps. Starmac flopped down next to him.
"Getting it out of the temple was exhausting, Mr W. Even with another star in the bag, it was still hard work supplying you with the energy."
"Yeah, well, if you feed only on my wish to become famous, you won't have to worry about getting tired." He breathed deeply. "Does your map say anything about where we are going next?"
Get motivated about Waluigi with this next link. Better than anything I could ever write about him, and much more concise, is an article about why you should feel good about liking Waluigi. Show it your friends and family if they ever give him a hard time:
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