Bellamy

I wake to the sound of panic. I spring to my feet and am alert from a dizzy haze almost immediately, my mind buzzing as adreneline shoots through my system. Clarke stirs and rises beside me, her eyes flicking to the left as outside we hear a blood curtling scream as the commotion behind the thin gauze of the tent shakes the very ground. My heart skips a beat as I think of Octavia, bloodied and kicked to the ground, and heavy dread drips like sludge through my veins. I am quick to reach for my gun but out of the corner of my eye I see Clarke reaching for the same weapon. I turn quickly to her and rumble darkly, "You have to stay here this time, ok? Whatever's going on outside, whatever you hear happen, promise me you will stay here. Run if you have to, but keep our baby safe." I stare forcefully into her eyes without blinking, my grimace telling her that whatever happens to anyone here, even me, she must stay away for the sake of our baby. I see in her steady, determined gaze that she understands, she nods curtly giving my arm a tight squeeze that speaks to me as clearly as if she had screamed it, "I love you."

I whisper back steadily, "you too." I press my lips against hers, squeezing my eyes shut, drinking im this fleeting moment of restitution. I pull away and turn to the curtain, before I can will myself to pull it open, revealing whatever carnage may lie behind its thin veil, I give her one last, longing, parting glance. Her eyes glinting with determination, she nods bravely back at me, a rifle held tightly in her palm.

I turn away and pull open the curtain, revealing a dazzling sunlight, and within it, raw and unincumbered chaos.

I rush into the action, grounders seem to be filtering in from all angles although with my adrenaline rush clouding my focus the attack could be anywhere from five to fifty grounder warriors closing in around us. I gun down a warrior barraling towards me, the spear clutched in his palms catching the early sunlight; shimmering with venom. I reload my handgun but find grounder after grounder running towards me, soon I will run out of ammo. I duck behind a storage shelter and find Finn already pressed against the wall. His face is streaked with dirt and blood and he is panting heavily, he is weaponless, a broken chunk of firewood clutched in his hand as a last ditch effort at self-defense. He is not fighting off an attack anymore, he is fighting to survive.

With a sinking heart I realize so is everyone else here. We have been subjected to an attack we where completely unprepared for, if this had occured three months ago, we would have been ready. Well fed, well armed, and well defended. But with winter has come a lack of resources, we stopped preparing for an attack and began stockpiling for riding out a desolate winter. Our numbers have dropped with the temperature, the elements picking us off from illness, cold, and malnutritian. It has always been a war of survival, but with this very present, grounder attack we may be finally at our wits end.

In the wake of despair, I find a steely, resiliant determination buried in myself. The raw, powerful force that is human nature awakens, forcing me to fight to my last breath, for survival, for Clarke, for Octavia, for my baby, for my people and for myself. If this is a game of survival, then I'm gonna blaze out every last force knocking me down, incinerating everything that threatens me like a roaring flame, desimating everything in my wake.

I turn to Finn, and with a nod of his head I see the same fire blazing through my chest reflected in his eyes. Wordlessly, I pass him a knife and beckon for him to cover me. We creep out slowly from behind the shelter, and suddenly spring into action. Relentlessly pushing forward, swatting our attackers down like flies.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Octavia, her eyes narrowed in anger as she viciously holds off three warriors with a single knife. She is backed into a corner and in her fiery gaze I catch a flicker of fear as her attackers square in on her. Finn nods for me to go, turning back to an oncoming spearman. I sprint towards my baby sister, slashing down anyone wishing her harm without a second thought. When the threat is gone, I pull her into my arms briefly, as my eyes search for any oncoming attackers.

In a single moment, the world stops. From a blind spot, I feel someone approaching me at the speed of a bullet, I turn but it is too late, I shove Octavia with all of my strength to the ground. In that second when the knife penetrates under my ribcage, the world becomes crystal clear. I see the light filtering through the lush green of the leaves overhead, kissing my cheeks. In the back of my quickly fading vision I see Clarke rushing at me, her face cloaked in tears as she bends over me, her face inches from mine. Her voice reaches me as if she is speaking underwater; distorted and far away. "No Bel' no, keep your eyes open!" She sobs, her warm tears dripping onto my cheeks. She fades in and out of my increasingly blurred vision and I gasp; fighting to hang on, the pain in my side radiating so strongly through my body that i can physically feel it tearing through my conciousness.

In a raspy, guttural voice I splutter, "Is Octavia? you? baby?"

She replies gently through her tears, "Everyone's ok. You kept us safe."

I sigh and I feel my body relaxing for the first time in what seems like my entire life and I whisper, my teeth chattering as an intense cold washes over me, "Mom I did it. I saved her. I'm sorry I couldn't save you but I did it. She's ok, I took care of her."

The pain is gone, leaving a euphoric calm in its wake. I know in retrospect this is bad, yet I am hauntingly calm, as if I am standing on the sidelines watching a beautiful chaos unfold around me. Octavia has crawled over my arm sobbing into my shirt, Clarke is shaking my ashen face desperately, pleading with me to stay. Blood gushes from my side, leaving Clarke an island in a crimsom red lake. She is moving over me like a hummingbird, she pumps my chest rapidly and skillfully with her palms, while at the same time she is shouting at Octavia, willing her to get up and move me. Clarke's words make her move like a rag doll, blindly following orders as she mutely drags me to a covered area. Clarke rallies once more, pulling Monty from the battle and with a quick command has him beating my chest rythmically as she had been.

She does not skip a beat, wiping the tears and blood from her hands she produces a knife from her boot, unflinchingly cutting around the jagged edge of the knife sticking out from my side. No one can touch her, she is ablaze with determination, the fighting begins to taper off around us yet it seems Clarke has willed an unpenetrable bubble around herself using her sheer will of determination.

It is this unwavering spirit that pulls me back, kickstarting the intensity of my will to live. I feed off her strength, allowing for it to flow through me, empowering me. I sink back, willing myself to awaken, and suddenly I feel everything. Earth shattering pain explodes through my side, my head is pounding and bright lights seem to swallow me whole. I scream in agony, writhing as the pain seizes my body. I want nothing more than to get out, shut out the pain, escape from the torment of life. But something holds me back, I look up through the pain and see Clarke her eyes shining, holding me down. She can barely contain her relief, fresh tears spring to her eyes, washing out her grieve and replacing it with sheer joy. She bends down, and gently kisses my face whispering authoritatively, "Bellamy, everything is going to be alright, stay down, you can't move. I removed the knife but you still have severe internal damage and I will have to operate again when you're strong enough but for now I think you're out of the woods."

I nod weakly, my whole body feels weak and defeated and I am unsure if I will be able to form coherent words, yet I lightly clutch her fingers, affirming that I trust in her. I feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness, but I think it is alright to rest for now. I feel my whole body shudder as I fall into an uneasy sleep, each time I open my eyes when the pain becomes to strong, I find Clarke's gentle gaze hovering over me, and I am able to take control again.