Suki loved Sokka. She loved the way that he looked at her, the way he made her laugh, and epically the way that he touched her. They had been one another's first and only, so far. In the three years since they started having sex they had learned about one another's bodies in the most intimate of ways. He could please her almost as well as she could please herself, and most of the time left her breathless and blushing under him.
The sex was one of the best things about being with him.
There was more to it than that though. She really did love his company, his companionship. He always made her laugh when she needed it most, and better yet he knew when she needed to laugh. He was always ready to hold her, to kiss her, not caring who was around. It was as if he wanted everyone to know that they were with one another, that there were no secrets.
She thought about these things as he laid with his head on her stomach, his cheek pressed to her skin. She ran her fingers though his thick brown hair, her eyes half closed. His arms were rapped around her hips, the side of his thumb stroking her bottom.
"Have you made a choice?" Sokka asked her, breaking the silence between then.
"Lets not talk about this." Suki shook her head.
Sokka lifted his head and let his chin rest on her stomach, looking up at her. "I can't stop thinking about it..."
"Well that makes two of us." Suki rolled her eyes.
"And then you come here and we do this and it just confuses me more."
Suki clenched her eyes tight, "I know." She sat up, forcing him to do the same. She opened her eyes as they both sat in bed naked. Suki's hands went to his face, holding it. "I guess I just missed you."
He pressed his forehead to hers with a frown, "I missed you too." His hands went to her chest, holding her and making her bush. "I love you Suki."
"I love you too, Sokka." She did not lie when she said this. The kiss that she gave him as she kissed him down to the bed was not a lie either. She never lied to him, she never told him anything other than the truth as their bodies joined together in love and passion.
None of it was a lie; she really did love him.
On one hand Zuko wanted Sokka to cry, he wanted him to feel pain and to suffer for years of hurt, for years of him lying to his face. It made Zuko shiver with anger at the thought of his friend for over 10 years not only hoping, but counting on his wife leaving him. He had stood with them as they were married; not once but twice. He smiled and enjoyed life with them, all the while acting like things were alright. That he was happy along with, and for them.
However as Zuko sat and watched Sokka sitting on the floor in front of him, crying, he felt bad for him. He felt the pain, the anguish that Sokka had held inside for all these years and he felt overwhelming guilt. It was his fault after all.
The other thing that Zuko was feeling was a little bit of hurt. Suki was going to have a baby, their baby and he wanted to celebrate, Sokka to celebrating with him. It hurt him that he had to be here like this now, that he could not celebrate for fear of hurting his friend.
Sokka stopped crying, his hands cast to the side.
"Feel better?"
Sokka shook his head, "I feel worse actually." His voice was shaking from the crying, his face dry and sore. "I feel like shit for not holding up to our agreement."
"I think you held up to it." Zuko laced his fingers together, looking at them. "You were never resentful, you were just sad." He looked at Sokka with a soft frown on his face, "And when we made the announcement two days ago that we were expecting it brought all of it up again."
"No." Sokka crossed his legs in front of him, his hands in his lap. "Well kinda." He looked at Zuko, "I did think that she would leave you. I don't know why but I held onto that hope but I did." He saw that same angry look return to Zuko's face. "And then the other day when news of the baby came out I guess it finally hit me that she was really gone. That there was no way she would leave you if there was a child involved."
"What I don't get about that is why you thought that for so long." Zuko's face was red with anger. "I mean we were obviously happy. Why did you think that she would just up and leave me when things were going well?"
Sokka said nothing, but just looked down.
"And if you were trying to break us up you were doing a pretty piss poor job. We always thought of you as our biggest supporter. When we had problems we went to you. You kept us together when we did want to call it quits."
A horizontal pillar of fire burst forth from Zuko and Suki's bedroom in the Ember Island vacation home. Zuko stomped out of the room, his face red. The next thing that came out of the room was one of Suki's gold fans. It hit Zuko in the back of his head then fell to the floor with a hard clunk.
His hand went to the back of his head and he turned back to the door, "Real FUCKING MATURE!"
"You got what you had coming you son of a bitch!"
Sokka and Aang were standing at the end at the end of the hall way watching what was going on. They had heard their raising vices from the bedroom and had only gone to see what was going on when the yelling really started.
Suki ran out to Zuko in the hall, pulling a robe around her. "Its not just your wedding!"
"When did I say that? I know its not!"
"Your sure as hell acting like it is!"
"I told you I did not have a choice in the matter!"
Sokka nudged Aang, motioning to them. "You're the Avatar, fix it." Sokka said under his breath.
"I'm so tired of that fucking excuse!" Suki had tears in her eyes now, her arms crossed over her chest.
"Its not an excuse!"
"Um guys..." Aang walked to them, speaking in a soft voice "Is there anything that we can to do help yo-"
"SHUT UP AANG!" Suki yelled at him, turning back to Zuko, "Its all you ever say anymore; that you have no choice!"
"Well I don't!"
"YES YOU DO!" She stomped her foot in anger, her hands flying out and in frustration.
"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Sokka's voice was louder than either Suki or Zuko's had been. They froze and looked over at him. "Suki, what did Zuko do?" He walked to them, standing in front of Aang and speaking with a calm even voice.
"I did nothing." Zuko huffed.
"He was asking me!"
"I was." He looked to Suki again, "What did he do?"
"He is making choices about the wedding without me."
"I made once choice." He held up a single finger.
"What was the choice?" Sokka glanced to Zuko before looking back at Suki.
"He invited Mai." Suki's voice shook a little as she said this, looking at Zuko with a sad and angry look.
"I told you that I did not have a choice in the matter. She is a noble and has to be invited. I can't afford to alienate the people who make the Fire Nation run, ex-girlfriend or no."
"I mean he has a point Suki." Sokka's hand when to his chin, stroking his beard. "Why don't you want her to be there?"
"Thats what I don't get. Every time you have been around her there has been no issue between the two of you." Zuko held his hands in the air as he looked over at her.
"It has nothing to do with me and her, its you."
"Me?"
"Yes!" Suki had tears on her cheeks, that she wiped away with the palm of her hand.
"Tell him why Suki." Sokka's voice was soft and sure, almost comforting.
"You change whenever she is around." She looked over at Zuko as she spoke, wanting him to know the extent of her feelings on the matter. "You get all mopey and are like that for days after. You turn into that same little shit you were all those years ago and I hate it!"
He frowned, looking at her, "No I don't."
"Yes you do." Sokka told him quickly.
"Thats why I don't want her there. Its nothing to do with jealousy like you think it is. I just want you to be happy on our wedding day."
"And I will be happy, but I have to invite her Suki. She is a noble and they have to be invited. Its traditional for all of them to be at the wedding of the Fire Lord."
"Thats another thing! You keep saying you have to do stuff when thats not right!"
"Suki, no yelling." Sokka said in a soft voice. "Just talk about whats bothering you."
She sighed and looked at Zuko, "You keep saying that this and that is tradition and you have no choice in the matter."
"Thats true though. I have to do things that neither of us want because of who I am. I'm Fire Lord and like it or not I have some responsibilities that I can't get out of."
"Thats bull shit, Zuko." Sokka said to his friend.
Zuko snapped his gaze to Sokka, "What?"
"I know that you don't give a fuck about tradition. If you did you would not be marrying her."
"Exactly." Suki was crying harder now.
"You are the Fire Lord and you are going to marry a girl from Kyoshi Island, who is not a noble in any way, shape, or form. You are going against tradition by being with her, so you can't stand behind tradition now that it comes to other stuff."
Zuko was looking at Suki while Sokka was saying this, watching as she cried.
"Thats why it bothers me when you say that." Suki looked at him, drying her eyes. "You are so worried about following tradition and don't wanna do anything that goes against it. I am not traditional, so it makes me feel like you are not wanting to do - to be - with me."
"I don't mean that at all." He went to her, taking her hands into his, holding him to her chest. "I wanna be with you and I don't care about social status or anything like that."
"Then can you please accept that you don't have to do everything by the book?"
He nodded and he leaned down and kissed her knuckles, "I will, and if you don't want Mai there we don't have to have her there."
She nodded, "Thank you."
"You just have to uninvite her." His face was drawn into an awkward frown.
She nodded and kissed him in answer.
Sokka smiled to himself and turned around, walking back into the kitchen. Aang followed him, "You did a good job on that." Aang told him.
"You are not the only one who has the power to bring balance to the world." Sokka's voice was booming with pride, a huge grin across his face.
Sokka was holding his head, "I never wanted to break you guys up. I wanted to help you cause I loved you both and wanted you to be happy."
"But then why did you think she would leave me!? Thats what I'm confused about. If you wanted her to leave me why did you help us, why did you care so much?"
Sokka pulled on his hair, yelping a little bit, "I don't know!" He panted softly, "I don't know why I acted like I did, or why I felt like I did. I did not want her to leave, I just thought she would."
"Well what's the difference?"
Sokka shook his head again, "I don't know, alright?!" Sokka held his chin in his hands. "I don't really know, Zuko."
They said nothing, but just looked at one another for a little while. Zuko wanted to say something but he was not really sure how to. He himself had kept feelings on the matter held inside for years. Suki knew of corse; him having told her during one of their countless nights spent talking instead of sleeping. She had comforted him, told him that it was somewhat natural to have feelings like this and that there was no use on lingering in the past. Her words had put him at ease but did not address the feelings that he still held on the matter.
"Sometimes I wish I would have never told her that I loved her." He finally said, his voice shallow. "That I would have kept it to myself and let you two get married. I would be to you two what you are to us."
"But then you would have been miserable."
"Well one of us was going to be..."
Zuko was standing in the Kitchen of his apartment in Ba Sing Se. Well it was not really his apartment, it was uncle's. He stayed here when he was in town though, helping in the tea shop from time to time. People who came in and still be shocked at seeing him with an apron on and holding a tray of tea. It always made Zuko laugh when they awkwardly interacted with him.
He was not in the mood to serve tea today though, but he did want a cup of it. He sat down with his back to the wall as the water was heating up. He held his head in his hands, running his fingers though his dark hair with a sigh.
As he closed his eyes he thought about Suki, about the events of the past few weeks, and mostly about the blue betrothal necklace that Sokka had shown him. It felt like a punch to the gut. He knew that she would say yes, and that she would be married to him. That was not the worst of it. If she was married she could no longer be a Kyoshi Warrior, she would no longer be his body guard, his companion. The thought of it made him want to throw up.
He was happy that she would be getting married to Sokka, to the person she did love so much, but it broke his heart that he would loose her in the process. He pulled his hair and grit his teeth as the image of their wedding day crept into his head, him standing to the side alone, really alone from that moment on.
"Don't do that." Suki's voice pulled him of the nightmarish day dream. She was kneeling in front of him, pulling his hand away from his scalp. She was in her casual Kyoshi uniform, as was traditional these days when she was guarding him. Not that she did much guarding these days. She mostly just kept him company, helped him, comforted him, and understood him. He found all these things much better than her guarding him. "You should not pull at your hair." She sat down next to him, speaking to him with a soft voice.
"I know, I can't help it sometimes."
"So whats wrong?" She hated seeing him like this, seeing him upset.
He looked over at her, the beautiful 19 year old woman who he had fallen in love with. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of corse." She laughed softly, "You don't have to ask me if you can ask me something, you just ask. I thought you would have known that by now." She nudged him with her shoulder.
"Yeah..." His voice trailed off, looking at her. "Something bad is about to happen, I mean nothing bad. Not bad for who it is about to happen to anyways."
"Who is it bad for?" Her hand snaked on top of his, like it always did when she was trying to comfort him.
"Me, and its not really even bad. Things will just change and I will loose something very special to me."
"Then you should fight for that thing that is special to you." She smiled softly at him. "I mean if you care about this thing that much you will stop at nothing to keep it."
"You think so?"
She nodded, "Very much so. If you do nothing you are sure to lose it, which you don't want." She laughed a little bit, "I don't want that for you."
"What do you mean?"
"You have so little that makes you happy Zuko, and I don't want you to loose anything." She leaned her head back on the wall, looking over at him. "So whatever it is that you are about to loose I suggest that you fight like hell to make sure you don't loose it."
"Even if it means risking having my friends hate me?" His face was flushed over, looking at her fair features.
Her eye browed raised, "What is this thing you want so bad?"
Zuko stood up with a sign, walking away from her and into the living room. "Its nothing, Forget I said anything."
She got up and went to him, grabbing him by his shoulder and pulling him around so he was facing her. "Don't pull that shit with me, what is it?"
He stood in front of her, their faces less than a foot apart. It occurred to him in that moment that he could not live without her, or at least without her knowing how he felt. He looked into her eyes and knew that he would have to fight like hell for this, for her, and it would be his greatest pleasure do to so.
"Well?" She was growing impatient now.
It was with this that he did it, he took action and fought. He leaned in quickly and pressed his lips to hers. It was a clumsy kiss, with their lips not even making full contact with one another's. His hands went to her upper arms, not to hold her, but to steady himself. He felt like he was about to faint.
After a moment of contact Suki's lips opened and she embraced the kiss, adjusting to his awkward angle. He felt her gasp as her hands went to either side of his face, his lips moving into the kiss along with her's. His arms went to her waist, pulling her close as they kissed.
It was Zuko who finally pulled away, leaving her hovering in mid air, wanting more. "It's you Suki." He smiled ever so lightly. "You are the thing that I want, you are the thing that I cannot live without, you are the thing that I want to fight like hell for." He felt tears in his eyes, one of them rolling down his cheek. "I love you, Suki."
She was looking at him with her mouth open a little bit, unable to speak. She simply ran her fingers over the rough edge of his scar, feeling the texture of it, the texture that she loved and adored, just like the man it belonged to.
Zuko saw the conflict in her face, and felt the rejection in the lack of her words. He pulled away from her, looking down. "Please... Forget that just happened." He shook his head, walking away from her. "Nothing happened." He said to himself as he left the apartment and went to the tea shop.
"Thats not really fair, Zuko. I mean you loved her just like I did. If you would have not said anything she would have never had to make the choice, thus she would have limited herself."
"But she would have been with you."
Sokka shrugged, "True, but then she would have lived her entire life with me simply because she did not have an option for anything else." he smiled to himself, "I guess I would rather her have the choice and not choose me than never being given the choice at all."
"I guess thats one way to look at it." Zuko smiled a little bit. "I always kinda hated myself for taking her from you. I felt it was very selfish of me to tell her that I loved her, to even try to pull you guys apart when I knew how you felt about her."
Sokka shook his head, "Don't think like that, alright?" he held his face in his hands. "I mean what I said that night in the palace, that I wanted her to be happy, even if it was not with me. And she is happy, for that I am glad." He looked at Fire Lord Zuko, thinking about the role that had been thrusted on him all those years ago. "You needed her more than I did anyways."
"You think I needed her?"
He nodded, standing. "I know you and I know that you need someone close to you or else you turn into a royal ass." He extended his hand to Zuko, who them took it, pulling himself up with Sokka's help. "So you have her, and I'm glad it was her. She has done so much good in the world and I don't know if she would have been able to do that if not for her being Fire Lady." Sokka walked into the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water.
"She is an amazing Fire Lady." Zuko said this was a dreamy sign; he was still enamored by his wife even after all these years.
Sokka nodded, "She's not the only good one."
"What?"
"You are an Amazing Fire Lord, you know that?" Sokka drank his water then put the cup back onto the counter.
Zuko frowned a little bit, reaching back and scratching the back of his head. "I guess." he shrugged, "The last three Fire Lords were kinda evil. So yeah, I am pretty good compared to them." He laughed softly.
Sokka walked to him and put his hands on Zuko's shoulders, looking into his eyes. "No. You are fucking amazing. You are kind, wise, a hell-a-va good leader, a great husband and friend. And I know for a fact that you will be the best damned father in the world"
Zuko gave him a soft smile, his cheeks flushing over a little bit.
"I really mean that. I mean you sat here today and let me yell at you about shit that I really had no right to be upset with you over. Not only did you take it, but you comforted me when by right you could have kicked my ass."
"I sill could kick your ass." Zuko was half joking when he said this, but they both laughed as Sokka pulled his hands away from him.
"As I'm sure you still will." He looked at the Fire Lord. "I'm fucking serious though Zuko, I'm glad that we are friends."
"So we are still friends?" Zuko crossed his arms across his chest.
"Of corse we are friends, we always were. From that very first day when you saved us from Sparky Sparky Boom Man you were my friend. Nothing, not even a woman, will change that."
Zuko nodded and smiled a little bit, "I'm glad to have you as my friend as well. You really are a great and brave man, as well as a damn good councilman. You, just as much as Aang or I have shaped this city and the world into what it is today."
"You think?"
Zuko nodded, "I do, you will go down in history just like the rest of us will."
Sokka perked up a little bit, smiling. "I kinda like the sound of that."
"Sokka the Bachelor."
"Damn right." Sokka grinned.
"I mean its not like you don't have plenty of woman at your beck and call. I've never known you to be without some kind of companion."
"That is true." Sokka scratched his chin, smiling widely. "I'm seeing this Fire Nation woman right now, she seems to like me."
"Of corse she likes you." Zuko smiled at him. "Is she pretty?"
"Very. She kinda reminds me of your sister."
He cringed, "Never call my sister pretty again."
Sokka laughed as he leaned against the back of a chair in the living room. "It's not that I don't have woman to date, I do. I just never really was able to commit."
"I know." Zuko's attention turned to the mess in the living room, "I want you to though; we want you to, Suki and I." He picked up some clothing that was on the sofa, throwing it though the open bedroom door. "I mean there is always Toph."
The name made Sokka blush, "I'm not sure Toph even thinks about stuff like that."
"She does with you."
"How do you know that?"
"I'm not able to comment on the matter, you should ask her though." he chuckled a little bit.
Sokka narrowed his eyes at him, "Whatever."
Zuko smiled to himself, looking over the still dirty room. "Aang and the girls are going to be by in a bit, we should clean up."
Sokka nodded in agreement, "I'm gonna take a shower." He started to walk to his bedroom, going though the door. "You take care of the living room." He closed the door behind him before Zuko could even answer.
"You know I've never really liked the color green."
"I think it looks nice on you, Sokka." Aang's voice was just as cheery and positive as always.
Sokka sighed in mild annoyance as he changed into the green formal robe that had been given to him. He did not want to but It was tradition for all the men involved in the Kyoshi wedding ceremony to dress like this. He stepped out of his individual dressing room and saw Zuko in his own green outfit, standing in front of a large mirror and looking at his reflection. The green outfit was just like Sokka's but there was a dark green sash around his waist. There was no evidence of royalty in his attire. No headpiece, no gold belts, nothing that would suggest that he was Fire Lord. He was not the Fire Lord today, just Zuko, bridegroom to a Kyoshi Warrior.
"You on the other hand look great in green." Sokka told his friend.
Zuko looked at Sokka though the mirror, "Thanks." His voice was soft and shaking a little bit.
"Are you... nervous?" Sokka walked next to Zuko, looking at them both as he fixed the color of his own robe.
Zuko nodded, pulling his hair back into a knot at the back of his head. "I am."
Sokka laughed a little bit, reaching out and patting his shoulder. "I can stand in for you if you like."
Zuko rolled his eyes with a soft smile, "I think I'll be ok."
"Look at how handsome we all are!" Aang walked up behind them, putting an arm around each of their shoulders, his head in-between theirs. "The girls are gonna love it."
"Zuko's about to get married, he doesn't have to impress her anymore." Sokka smirked softly.
"It still helps." Suki's voice came from outside the door. She could not be seen though, she was hiding from Zuko's gaze.
"COVER HIS EYES!" Sokka cling to Zuko's head to cover his eyes, hitting him hard in the nose as he did so.
"Ow!"
"Don't hurt him." Suki said laughing softly.
Aang removed the sash from around Zuko's waist and put it over his closed eyes. "Can you see, Zuko?"
Zuko shook his head, "No." He waved his hand in front of his face to verify that he was in fact blind for the time being.
"Come on in." Sokka said to Suki.
She stepped into the door way, her large green dress filling the door frame. Sokka's breath was taken away when he saw her. The dress was an overly formalized and feminized version of her Kyoshi unoform, and fit her thin frame beautifully. Her make up was a simplified version of the normal Kyoshi make up, with red lips and thick eye liner. As Sokka and Aang looked at her with smiles, all she looked at was Zuko.
Sokka and Aang left the room, both of them hugging her silently as they did so. Sokka also kissed her on her forehead, making her smile widely as she hugged him back.
Aang and Sokka joined Katara and Toph out in the hall; leaving Suki and a blindfolded Zuko alone in the room. Both Katara and Toph in green silk dresses that matched Suki's. Toph pulled at it awkwardly, not being used to delicate things like this.
"Doesn't she look beautiful?" Katara asked Aang as she hugged him around the waist.
Aang nodded and kissed Katara, "So do you."
Katara laughed softly and held his hand tightly.
"Are you ok?" Toph whispered to Sokka, reaching out for his arm.
Sokka nodded, moving his arm into her hand. "Yeah." He kissed Toph on the side of the head as he pulled her close, making her blush deeply.
He peered into the room that they were in. Suki was holding Zuko's face with a smile, brushing some stray hairs away lovingly. Zuko had that same smile on his face that he always did when he was with her, one of pure love and admiration.
He smiled to himself, thinking how perfect that they looked in that moment. He was happy for them, both of them. He did not even wish that he was in Zuko's place, he was just happy that his friend was able to smile like that.
"Today is going to be a good day."