The Cessation of Memory Chapter 6, a steins;gate/シュタインズゲート fanfic

An annoying ad for that RaiNet anime is blaring from the giant LCD screen over the bridge, waves of shoppers passing under it as they move from one building to the next.

I sigh and lean back into the railing, enjoying the cross breeze that flows over this area.

I swear I've listened to that thing a dozen times. At least it's different from the one a year ago…

I check my phone to see that the time is 6:55pm. My assistant doesn't do lateness, so I expect her to be on time. I was as anxious as I was aimless, so I got here early.

I close my eyes and wait.

I open them as I sense a shudder in the railing, turning to see that Kurisu has joined me. My heart gives a painful little somersault.

"Hello." She says, placing an arm to her side and greeting me without a smile. I am struck by how different this is from our last meeting in this very same spot.

That time, she stood over me with that haughty look on her face, sunset catching in her hair, arms squared… almost like a goddess, sent to earth to smack some sense into a misguided mortal.

It's not like she doesn't still cut a striking figure, but there's a sense of raw anticipation in her eyes that is almost scarier than the old critical confidence.

I clear my throat.

"Thanks for coming."

"Ok." She replies, looking annoyed. "What are we here for?"

I cross my arms and lower my head, letting out a long breath.

"Kuirsu… I need your help."

Watch her reaction closely!

"Huh? W-with…?!"

She blushes and turns away, looking flustered.

Yes!

"That's just it!" I cry, placing my hands on her shoulders. "You remember, don't you? That's the déjà vu effect in action! "Operation Dellingr" can begin!"

Kurisu jerks away from me, eyes searching my face.

"What do you mean? Is this is an experiment or something?"

I nod vigorously, and begin to pace.

Kurisu sends nervous glances to some disturbed pedestrians; I have no cares for such trivial matters and begin my explanation right away.

"We've both observed that people without my ability, Reading Steiner, can recall memories across worldliness. I've hypothesized that everyone has Reading Steiner to some extent! But all of it has been casual observation. It's not like I can publish the results or anything like that, but…"

Kurisu holds a finger to her lips, eyes focused.

It seems she's hooked by the promise of an experiment! It worked!

"You want to pin point the cause of déjà vu, and understand the phenomenon of memory along worldliness better…"

"Bingo." I reply.

She huffs, eyebrows raised. But I know her better than that. She's interested.

"It's pointless." she says, but continues before I can offer a retort.

"You and me are the only ones aware of the phenomenon. Although… I suppose it could yield insights into déjà vu as it is already understood… as being a mechanism of biology tied to shifts in temporal experience… it could even be seen as an evolutionary by-product of the development of a rational consciousness and be indicative that linear thinking is a necessity for survival…"

Damn! There she goes!

"You see?" I say, grinning slightly and throwing out my arms. "It's just something that I, as a mad scientist, must understand better!"

She looks at me, eyes blazing with the passion only a true scientist can know. I love that look.

"But why this all of a sudden? You clearly want nothing to do with time travel studies anymore." she studies my face as she speaks. "And it's been a year since you found out about déjà vu. AND since you're not going to be traveling along worldliness anymore, any experimentation will be limited to this worldline, which is an awfully small sample."

I forgot how fast she is!

But I'm ready for at least part of that.

"I want to study déjà vu because YOU just found out about it, and proved just how powerful it can be." I say, "As a neuroscientist, you must be able to see that this research is clearly highly valuable to the future of science and the whole human race!"

She shuffles her feet a little.

"So you're doing this for me?" she says in a low voice.

I can't stop myself from feeling a little red in the cheeks.

That's a little too close to the truth…

I strike a confident pose in reply to my own churning emotions. "It is the least I can do to repay my assistant for all of the hard work she's done for me. And of course, don't forget that I have my own dangerous curiosity as a mad scientist!"

She folds her arms and smiles, turning away as she brushes a long strand of hair out of her eyes.

"I suppose I can work with you again."

She's so damn attractive when she's focused! I wish I could hug her!

She turns back, gaze hardened. "…although what kind of experiments do you plan to run, exactly?"

I gaze out over the shinning city, deeply inhaling the humid air. The sun is starting to inch towards the skyline.

"First of all, two factors appear to remain constant when it comes to déjà vu …"

To my surprise, Kurisu cuts me off.

"… the location, and the presence of you, Okabe Rintarou, the man with Reading Steiner."

I struggle to regain my intellectual footing.

"R-right… anyway, in order to test which factor is the most important in triggering a déjà vu, I want to see how well someone can recall a "non native" memory, that is, a memory from another worldline, with each factor alone, and combined."

Kurisu is tapping her foot. "Right, you need a control group…" She turns to me sharply. "And where are you going to get THAT?! At maximum, you could test the 8 lab mems reliably for déjà vu, but if you OR me do the testing, it automatically contaminates the results!"

"You're just playing around!" She asserts, "This isn't scientific at all, Okabe!"

I step away from her ferocious tone, but maintain my confidence.

"How you doubt me." I whisper, slowly raising my voice. "You, my skeptical assistant… you made similar claims about the Phone Wave (name subject to change)! And how did THOSE messy experiments turns out?!"

She lunges close to me, clenching her fists.

"Ultimately, I'd say they turned into an unmitigated disaster!" she yells, shrinking back as the attention of pedestrians is drawn to us again.

I give the smuggest smile I can muster. "See? You remember… you're experiencing déjà vu as if those memories where always yours on this timeline!"

She gasps slightly, gaze becoming distant as she searches her memories.

"You're right…" she says. "So you want to know what causes it… it can't be the location, if I'm standing here… can it? This isn't where we did those experiments…"

I summon a reply as she trails off into thought.

"Ah, but we haven't tested if those memories are stronger back where they happed, or if they grow stronger while I, the only human being known to posses Reading Steiner and clear memories of many worldlines, shares physical proximity with you."

She chuckles a little. "What are you suggesting as the cause in that case? Telepathy?"

"Perhaps." I say grimly. "I'm a mad scientist, after all. I cannot afford to rule anything out."

She leans back into the railing, rays of the setting sun kissing her chestnut hair.

"So…" she sighs. "Is this the first part of your so-called experiments?"

"Operation Dellingr." I correct her. "And you are correct… I also want to know how clearly an individual can recall memories with déjà vu while alone. Muyuri described them as reoccurring dreams, and so did you. But we're not dreaming. So…"

I face her, sun to my back.

"Describe to me what, if anything, happened right here on another worldline."

Kurisu stiffens, clenching her fists.

Uh oh. Will she freak out?

But Kurisu relaxes, and then closes her eyes.

"I…"

She opens her eyes again, staring at the sky until her gaze flickers right into mine, making me shudder inwardly.

"It was the first time I ever heard you call me by my real name. You asked me for help, and seemed like you where in a great deal of pain. You…"

She steps closer, still holding my gaze. Her voice is steady, although I can see that her body is quivering slightly. I'm frozen in place.

"… you told me about your timeleaps, about Mayuri's death, about how you could never prevent it no matter how hard you tried. I was amazed that you had hadn't given up sooner. I was horrified that you had waited so long to ask for help… I remember thinking "What an idiot!"

She breathes out heavily, and I suddenly realize that our bodies have been drawn in close. I wrench my eyes away from her vivid stare, clumsily stepping back. Kurisu looks away and pulls a hand through her hair, continuing to speak.

"… and I-I remember, I was glad… to be the one… to help you."

"Wow." I croak. "That far surpassed my projections."

She's standing there as if she's in a trance, then nods. "I remember it vividly. It was even sunset, just like now. Did you wait for this time on purpose?"

I shake my head dumbly. "Y-yeah… because… timing is an important factor to consider too…"

"Hmmm…" She sighs. "You're right, that's an obvious one. A-anyway…"

She shakes her head, quickly rubbing her eyes. "Are you satisfied? Can I go home now? How many credits do I get for being a participant, professor?" She mocks, her usual sarcasm returning in a rush.