PERHAPS ONE DAY
Part six is here, and in an ordinate amount of time. I actually wrote this while watching Veronica Mars – so a tiny bit of inspiration came from that. (Sweet tensions of LoVe tend to do that to anyone)
Title: Jealousy thy name is Tony
Rating: K
Pairing: Tony/Ziva
Warning: Spoilers for season 8 – you've been forewarned.
Summary: Jealousy, its everywhere, and she is a little bit sick of it because it does nothing to help who they are.
AN: This may seem like a step back, but it's not. Progress can be seen if you do a gentle squinting motion. Try it.
Disclaimer: "I started in the middle, a good book can grab you anywhere."
##
She is tired of this feeling, it wears her down and makes her exhausted – and no amount of bat naps makes that any easier on her. It courses through her belly sometimes when she least expects it too, and each time she is left breathless and hopeless because it was not supposed to happen this way.
She is jealous of him. The girls that he takes him make her feel incompetent in a way she shouldn't, though lately that number seems to have dwindled as of late. She is jealous of all that they can't be, and she is jealous that she is the only one who feels these things.
Of course there had been moments where she thought he was jealous, but each time he had shot down her accusation with cruel words that made her insides seize and her resolve to harden. They can be friends, but anything more is out of the question.
"What day are you leaving?" He questions her, and she bites her lip because this is just another way that they can run in circles. He pushes for answers to questions she can't answer, and she tells him he is jealous only for him to spin her statement on its head, making her realize she might have been wrong.
Her shoulders slump a bit, and she brings the book just a bit higher so that it covers nearly the entirety of her face. It doesn't stop the tension wafting from his form and she sighs as she snaps the book closed. "Wednesday," she acquiesces, and she instantly regrets it when he sucks in a breath through clenched teeth.
"You're leaving in the middle of the week?" He sounds downright angry about it, like somehow her leaving in the middle of the week is different than her leaving at the beginning of it, or the end.
She doesn't understand him, and she thinks maybe she never well. "I said I was going to be gone for three days," she tells him softly, like she is speaking to a young child who has just had a tantrum – under some circumstances she thinks that might just be the case.
"You didn't say it was going to be a Wednesday!" His voice has risen an octave, the way it does when he particularly doesn't like something, and clearly he doesn't like what she has told him.
"What difference does it make?" she questions, and she crosses her arms and glares at him because he really doesn't get it.
"It makes a whole lot of difference," he crosses his arms too, and their standing toe to toe now as if they're having a major face-off. The tug of her heart tells her it just might come to that. "Wednesday means I won't see you till Monday. That is more than three days, Ziva!"
She shakes her head slowly, because even though they made it to the heart of the problem she doesn't think that he realizes why he is so upset. To be honest she isn't quite sure of why he is either. "I am coming back, Tony." It's the only thing she can think of saying, and she thinks it might make him feel a bit better because his shoulders relax just a bit.
"You two gonna get any work done today?" Gibbs questions and they only take a step back to let him stroll through before staring each other down once more.
"Of course, Gibbs," Ziva states, though her eyes are still on Tony. She wonders what is making him act this way, because while a large part of her thinks its jealousy, another smaller part knows that that probably isn't the case.
The time must pass by quickly, because Gibbs' impatience is palpable in the way he slurps down the last of his coffee and tosses the container into his trash with enough force to rattle the can. "Sometime soon, I hope."
They both walk slowly to their desks, and once they are seated behind it they return each other's glances before turning away. Ziva can feel that she isn't going to get the answers she wants anytime soon, and when she pushes the matted hair off her forehead she feels like she didn't get nearly enough sleep on her day off.
##
"So, what are you plans for this mini vacation of yours?" He settles himself directly behind her desk, making himself comfy as he leans against the makeshift wall behind him.
She casts a look over her shoulder, one that he reads as far too innocent to really be innocent and his blood boils. "This and that."
"Well, what does 'this and that' entail?" He is pushing this, and he just wants her to give an inch because he really doesn't know how he is going to handle three days without her being at work with him, and five days without actually seeing her. If he knew what they were going to be doing perhaps this queasy feeling in his stomach would settle up a bit.
"Do you really want to know?" She turns to face him completely, leaning against her chair as she takes in his full form. His arms are crossed, as are his ankles, and he looks to be closing off rather quickly and her heart reaches for him. She can't tell him though; Ray is a friend that she takes comfort in, sharing that with Tony might make the relationship seem superficial at best.
"Yes!" He doesn't want to know, he needs too, but telling her that would only give her even more of an advantage.
She shakes her head slowly, and her eyes do something that he thinks might be softening, but it could have been a trick of the light. "It is none of your business," she presses, and she meant to tell him that the whole trip was nothing. She is feeding his insecurities without meaning too, and when she sees his shoulders hunt she feels a little bit bad about it, but not enough to correct her words.
He nods his head, and when he makes eye contact with her again she feels like she might be making a mistake leading him on like this. It can only spell disaster, and she thinks they might have already seen too much of that to survive any more. Still she doesn't tell the truth, she wonders what that means for them.
He pushes off the cabinet without sparing her a glance, and she feels her heart clench again at the way it makes her feel
There is silence surrounding them for the rest of the afternoon, and she thinks Wednesday can't get here fast enough. Tony made feelings swirl within her belly at such a rapid pace that she felt sick half the time, Ray did not. She knows what that means, but she can't do anything to change it – it's just the way things have become.
His frustrated sigh snaps the around the air around them, cackling with frustration that has her head snapping up and her mind to flurry because he is staring at her and she didn't even feel it. "Okay. You're right."
It's a statement that could mean anything, but his eyes tell her the truth, and she smiles at him in an attempt to placate him. He is jealous, and though he won't come right out and say it he is willing to admit that she is right. "Do not worry." She tells him, and it's her own way of telling him that he really shouldn't be worrying about her relationship with Ray because there really is nothing there.
She knows that that's not what he needs to hear, but right now it is all that she can say. She hopes that that will be enough.
##
This is addressing the Mr. Miami issue, because I know for a fact it is eating at him. It kind of has to be with the way he can't let it drop. Ziva's evasiveness might just be Tony's undoing, and Tony's undoing might just be the push Ziva needs to finally open up. This was a play on it.
Stay tuned for more.