Chapter V

I sighed and turned around. Dean stood there with his arms crossed in front of his chest, looking very much like John. He did not look happy. Not that I could blame him. I was never really up front with people about my abilities, they were not exactly a good conversation started.

"Why weren't you up front with us?" Dean asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It would not be wise to provoke him.

"What was I suppose to say Dean? Hi, I'm Jay and I am a paranormal freak and I happen to be the strongest demon killer you will ever meet?" Dean shrugged. "Look. I am never up front with people about what I can do. I have been out of the ordinary all my life." I stated. "If you want my life story, I think we should wait until tomorrow morning, when Sam is awake." Dean nodded. He had softened a little when he saw how I had helped Sam.

"Whatever you gave him knocked him right out." Dean said, sitting down at the dinning table, his head in his hands.

"Chinese herbs have that effect on people when they have never had them before. Especially the one I gave him." I sat down across the table from him. "Dean?" I could feel that something was bothering him.

"Can you really talk to my dad?" I could hear the crack in his voice. I reached out and took his hand. He looked up at me. I smiled gently.

"Yes, I can talk with him." Dean nodded.

"Is he here?" Dean asked. I looked at the seat next to Dean and found John there. I nodded.

"Dad?" Dean called out, barely keeping it together. John reached out and put his hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean shifted, looking from his shoulder to me, his eyes were wide. I just nodded. Not many people have the chance to say goodbye to a loved one after they are dead, let alone ask them questions.

"Why did you do it, Dad?" Dean was beginning to loose it. "I was good as gone. You and Sammy could have gone on with out me. I hate living like this. Feeling this guilt for your death. I know it is my fault." I could see the tears forming in the corners of Dean's eyes. John looked at me, pleading. I had not done this for anyone before, but if anyone was worth it, the Winchester's were. I nodded slowly. John got up and walked over to me. I closed my eyes and felt him enter my body, an experience I would not recommend for any Medium.

"Dean?" John's voice came our of my mouth. I looked up at Dean and he nearly fell out of his chair. I had John's voice and his eyes. John got up and went over to Dean, kneeling down in front of him.

"I did what I did for you, Dean." John explained. "I love you, so much. I couldn't have gone on without you. It is up to you and Sammy now." John said, taking Dean's hands.

"Look at me son." Dean looked down into John's eyes.

"I need you to be strong. This war is coming, and it is coming fast. You can't afford to be thinking about anything but winning. Jay is here to help us win. I am sure by now that one of you boys have seen what she can do." John said.

"Sammy has." Dean nodded. John nodded.

"Good. Now I need you to believe in my choice and trust me. I made to right choice. I know I did. I want you and Sammy to finish what I started, finish and win this war. I want you to have the chance to settle down, marry a good women, and have a family of your own." The tears were running down Dean's face now, his jaws muscles clenched. John stood up and pulled Dean into a bear hug.

"Stop feeling the guilt, it is not your burden you bear. I made my choice, son. I need you to trust me. I did what needed to be done. Take care of Sammy." Dean clenched his father tightly in his arms, there was a gust of wind and John was gone. I felt feeling returning to my limbs and I felt Dean's tears soaking into my shirt. My knee gave out, but thanks to Dean aggressive hug, I stayed standing.

"Come on, Dean. It is time for you to go to bed." I said in my own voice. Dean nodded into my shoulder.

"Do you have any miracle drug that can help me?" He asked, releasing his hold on me. My knees took on the weight and threatened to give out. I held on to Dean's shoulder until my own legs were stable. Dean began walking up the stairs. He turned around to look at me.

"I'm sorry. No herb, no matter how powerful, can heal a broken heart."