I am back with the next installment, the long awaited Buford chapter. This chapter was a hard one to write, maybe because I don't like Buford that much. This isn't as long as my last one but should be just as good. This is a cleaner chapter, except for minor swearing, but as always, enjoy!

Hey you! Yes, you! Me, Buford has a bit of a story to tell you nerds!

2 months earlier

BULLIES AWAKE! BULLIES AWAKE!

I groan as I, while still blind as a bat, stumble around my room, striking random objects with my fists, until half a destroyed room later, I find my alarm clock, shaped like a nerd and smash it. "Breakfast in 20!" my mom hollers up the stairs. "OK Ma!" I yell back. You're probably thinking what does this have to do with anything. I'm getting to that. A syrup coated stack of flapjacks later and I'm at Jeet's locker giving him his pre-class wedgie. It's that moment when he's whimpering as he is blasted with intense pain, I look into his deep brown eyes, and from that moment I know I'm in love, with HIM!

Now you're thinking, so Buford likes Baljeet, I don't give a shit. No! If I was to get show my feelings for my nerd, I would be dishonouring the bully code. In other words, I'm fucked!

Back to the present

"Hey Dinner Bell! How was your little session with Girly, last night?"
"Buford!" Phineas turns cherry red, with embarrassment as he rustles through his locker.

"My personal life with Isabella is none of your business!"

"Oh really? Then she wouldn't mind if I asked her about how well you "performed" in bed? She wouldn't? Ok then, HEY GIRLY! I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING!"

Phineas goes running after her, "NO! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!"

I walk away laughing my ass off.

After school, I decide to talk to the one person, that might be able to help me in this situation. He's right over there, under the old oak tree, beside Dinnerbell.

"Hey dweebs, shove it 'cause' Buford and his nerd are comin' to the party!" I shout making a gangster style entrance. Phineas continues talking as if nothing happened, Ferb just rolls his eyes.

"Hey Beanpole McGee, I have a problem and you need to help fix it,"
Ferb just replied with "And why should I help you exactly? Especially after you embarrassed me in front of Gretchen. Just ask for Baljeet's help!"

"That's the thing, I can't! I just can't"

"Why? Are you afraid of admitting your romantic feelings for him, and that you have heavy fantasies about him? Is that it?

I raise my fist to his face, "Listen here, my entire life depends on this, I can't afford to lose my friendship with my nerd. He is the only thing I have left. And... if you don't co-operate, I'm sure girlie Dinnerbell (Gretchen) would love to see a naked "selfie" of you"

"Fine!" Ferb lets out an exasperated sigh. "I'll help you, but not because you threatened to punch me!"

"Guys, I don't mean to interrupt, but this recreation of the entire Chinese Empire isn't going to recreate itself!" Phineas pops up from behind us.

Later, outside of Baljeet's house

"Remind me never to come out as a gay bully," Ferb concludes as we walked home. It had been a disaster, especially when Baljeet collapsed from shock. Even worse, I found out he was dating one of them Campfire Girls, after she had walked in on him and confessed her love for him. The girl's mind is a complex thing. Just like loving your nerd.

So what did you think? I feast on reviews *cough* and human flesh *cough* so yeah!

The Wizard is Out! (please come back later!)