A/N: Look at me, updating in a week! I'm awesome, right? Not really.
By the time they left for the party, it was almost nine, even though Kendall and Carlos had been there since six. No one was really into that big of a party mood, either. Carlos had fought James tooth and nail about putting Cuda products in his hair, and despite the others' best efforts, Kendall still ended up in a beanie. Logan didn't really mind it, honestly. He agreed that it didn't really go with the sleek outfit the James had dressed Kendall up in, but it was so damn adorable.
When they were finally heading out the door, keys in Logan's hand, they were accosted by Kelly.
"So…party, huh?" She eyed them suspiciously and they all seemed to shrink under her gaze.
"Uh…yes?" James squeaked.
She stared them down for a minute before Carlos cracked. "Logan's the designated driver!" Kendall not-so-subtly elbowed him to shut up, but it was too late.
Kelly sighed. "I'd yell at you and make you stay home, but you're seniors now and you've been doing this for years now anyway. Besides, you would just sneak out, wouldn't you?"
Logan honestly wouldn't, because he felt like that would be ungrateful towards Brooke after everything she had done for him. But Kendall immediately nodded; he wasn't exactly the best with rules and authority.
Kelly pointed at them threateningly before they could slink away. "He are the rules: you have to be back by two, and I'm assuming Carlos and Kendall are sleeping here? And I can't fight you drinking, as long as Logan stays sober and watches out for everyone. But absolutely no pot or any sort of drug, got it? And if you have sex, and don't act like you won't James, I know you're a man-slut, make sure you have a condom, okay? And that includes you, Logan. Even if guys can't get pregnant."
James looked insulted when he called him a man-slut, but he also knew it was true and she was being way cooler than his mom would be.
"Got it, Kelly." Kendall gave her a thumbs up and they slowly started to tiptoe away.
She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Just come in quietly, please."
Logan didn't allow himself to breathe until they were in the car and pulling out of the impossibly long driveway. "Damn, James, your mom may be scary, but Kelly is a close second," Carlos commented from the backseat.
"Ugh, I know," groaned James, leaning back in his seat. "And she's probably gonna tell my mom all about that, they tell eachother freaking everything, and then I'm gonna get an earful, again. At least you'll be joining me this time, Logan."
"How often do you guys go through this?"
Carlos shrugged. "Not too often. We usually crash at Kendall's, his mom is really cool."
They joked around and listened to the radio for the next ten minutes or so, Logan turning whenever James told him to. Finally, they pulled up to a large, fancy gate with cars pouring in and out that said "GRIFFIN".
"This is it." James pointed and Logan turned down it hesitantly. The driveway was long and filled with already drunk teens and cars pulled over. Logan found an empty seat and they got out and walked the rest of the way.
"Jesus," Logan whispered when they came in view of the house, slightly shrouded by the large trees. The house-if you could call it that- was an incredibly fancy and elaborate white mansion that was about twice the size of James' house- quite a feat. The ground was pulsing with beat of music and colorful lights were already pouring out. People were actually waiting outside- like it was some sort of club or something. Logan had stood in a few of those lines in Dallas when Camille had the urge to go clubbing- they never got in, of course.
"Yeah, it's pretty impressive, right?" asked Kendall, smirking at Logan's gaping mouth. He could think of some really fun things he could do with Logan's mouth like that…
"Are those…bouncers?"
"Yeah, the parties usually get pretty crazy, so her dad hired them to keep the house from being totally destroyed." James said this like it was no big deal.
"Her dad knows about these parties?"
Kendall and James simultaneously rolled their eyes. "Yeah, Arthur Griffin is a little uh-" Kendall made the universal crazy gesture- "and basically gives Mercedes whatever she wants. He buys the alcohol and pot for her and everything."
"Do the cops ever show?"
Carlos snorted. "They wouldn't dare. Not that Arthur would like, assassinate them or anything. They just know that Mercedes isn't worth the hassle. She can make your life a living nightmare all by herself."
Logan kept his cool as they passed by the seven-foot-tall bouncers standing outside the door. Luckily, they just nodded and let the guys pass through. One of them, a huge black guy, said as they walked by, "Hey, Kendall."
"Hey, Freight Train," Kendall called over his shoulder. Logan didn't bother to ask how they knew each other. He had a feeling it was a really long story and involved some sort of trouble at a past party.
The mansion seemed even bigger on the inside- if that was even possible. It was also filled to the brim with screaming, drunk, dancing teenagers.
"Drinks!" shouted Carlos, a little to excitedly as he ran towards a huge buffet table laden with beers, wine, whiskey, and basically every type of alcohol Logan could think of. He eyed it a little wistfully as Carlos dragged James in its direction.
Kendall laughed. "Let's go find some of the others." He started to make his way through the crowd and Logan grabbed his wrist so not to lose him in the semi-dark. Kendall's heart rate picked up a little bit when Logan did that, but he pretended that it didn't.
"Jo!" he shouted, waving down the blonde girl. She was sitting at one of the many couches with Dak and talking to three very pretty, immaculately dressed girls.
"Kendall, Logan!" She smiled at them and patted the seat next to her. "Logan, have you met the Jennifers?"
The three girls eyed him disdainfully. He could feel the iciness radiating off their bodies. The blonde sniffed and looked away. The curly-haired one nodded once then turned back to Jo. Only the Hispanic one acknowledged him, flashing a brief smile that didn't reach her eyes.
Kendall subtly rolled his eyes and leaned in to whisper in Logan's ear, "They're total ice queens. The only person who beats them in the world-class bitch competition is Mercedes. Won't even give me the time of day." Logan felt a little chill of excitement move through his body when Kendall's lips brushed his ear.
The girls trouped off in a little formation, swinging their hips in a way that Logan guessed was supposed to seem seductive. He didn't really find it so.
Jo grabbed Logan's wrist and pulled him down on the couch next to her. "Take a seat and relax!" she shouted over the music.
"I'll be back," yelled Kendall, and he disappeared before Logan could ask where he was going. So much for sticking to Kendall like glue.
"Ugh," groaned Logan. "I really don't like parties."
"Really?" asked Dak curiously. "You must be, like, the only person in the universe."
"It's just not really that enjoyable unless you get drunk, and James forced me into being the designated driver."
As if on cue, James and Carlos came crashing over, Carlos already looking slightly tipsy with a can of beer in one hand and a bottle of tequila in the other. James had a glass filled with some colorful liquid.
"Heyyyyyy!" Carlos said a bit too loud as the DJ changed tracks. "Whazzup?"
"Oh god, are you drunk already Carlos? You're a fucking alcoholic!" Kendall had reappeared, a few beers in his arms as well. He was also tugging along Stephanie and Lucy.
"I'm not drunk!" protested Carlos, his face burning. Stephanie giggled and sat on the floor by the couch, pulling Carlos down with her. She was being awfully friendly- no doubt she'd already had a few herself, seeing as how she was never this forward with Carlos.
Kendall tossed Logan a beer and he gave him a questioning face that was so cute Kendall thought his heart might crack in two.
"You can't get wasted off of one can, can you?" he teased, nudging Logan over on the sofa. Lucy settled by his feet, a little ways away from Carlos and Stephanie, and James took a seat on the couch next to Dak.
Logan rolled his eyes and opened the beer, taking a sip of the bitter liquid. Jo and Kendall, meanwhile, practically chugged theirs.
A few hours passed and people came and went, though the main group stayed put. April, Kitten, Luis, and Jenny all approached Logan on separate occasions, Kitten looking a little apprehensive of his friends. Other people that Logan knew from his classes came up to talk to the others and so did people he didn't know. People especially liked to talk to Kendall and James- mainly girls with James, but basically everyone seemed to know Kendall. Logan also got the feeling that he was being watched, not by anyone in particular, just by people in general. And it seemed like kids that he didn't know knew him- more than a few people that he had never really seen addressed him as "Logan." He was struck by the sudden sense that he was hanging out with the popular crowd. It made sense- James was a good-looking man-whore, Kendall was the hockey captain, Jo and Stephanie gave off that pretty-girl/fashion-queen vibe, Dak was a drama star, Lucy was the untouchable rocker, and Carlos was just purely lovable.
Logan wasn't really sure how he felt about this. Back home, in Dallas, he wasn't popular- he wasn't a loser, but he wasn't the most loved person, either. Although he appreciated people being friendly to him, he didn't really like the feeling of people watching him- it felt like everything he did would just generate gossip. He wondered how many people knew he was gay by now. It wasn't like he tried to hide it, but he definitely didn't broadcast it either and he didn't think anyone he had told would just go around gossiping.
He registered that James had said his name and he turned back to see James' figure retreating with a brunette in a pretty short skirt, most likely about to get it on. Logan chuckled and hoped that James wasn't drunk enough to forget Kelly's threat.
He turned his attention back to Kendall, who was talking animatedly with Jo and some other girl he had never seen. It was weird to see Kendall so- well, so confident. He honestly didn't really see a lot of Kendall in a foreign setting. They hung out after school a lot, but Kendall was just goofy and relaxed then- something everyone was when they were with their best friends. When they passed notes in Chem, Kendall didn't seem nervous, exactly, but he definitely wasn't as confident and outgoing as he was in the party setting. Logan wondered if that was a good thing. He made a mental note to bring it up to Camille. Of course, it could just be his imagination running away with him again.
"Logie!" squealed Lucy (Squealed? That can't be right… Logan thought), crashing onto the couch and squeezing herself between Kendall and Logan- annoying the both of them profoundly. "So… you're gay!"
Logan gave her a weird look. "That's correct."
"I've just- I've been wondering is all-" she giggled, obviously drunk- "Are you, like, a bottom?"
Kendall spewed out his drink, making Carlos yelp and slide away. Jo cackled and Stephanie giggled as well. Dak snorted.
"Lucy!" Kendall gasped in between his coughs. "You can't ask that kind of stuff!"
"Why not?" Lucy pouted, a weird expression to see on her normally semi-angry looking face.
Kendall groaned. "You're so drunk, oh my god."
"Lighten up, Kendall," said Stephanie, winking at him. "So, Logan, are you gonna answer the question?"
Kendall leaned over Lucy to reach Logan. "They're normally not like this."
Logan laughed. "It's cool. I get it a lot, actually. You shoulda heard James when I told him I wasn't a virgin anymore."
"So you're not?" asked Carlos, attempting to wag his eyebrows in a suggestive fashion and failing miserably.
"Nope."
"Wasn't that awkward though? Talking about your sexual experiences with your cousin?" Dak asked.
Logan laughed again, louder this time. "You have no idea."
"You still haven't answered the question," prompted Jo, poking his arm.
"You guys sure you really want to have this conversation?"
"Honestly? Yeah. Weird as it sounds, I'm curious." The others nodded along as Dak spoke.
Logan snorted. "Well, I'm more of a top myself, but yeah, I've bottomed."
Lucy let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like "hot". Kendall suddenly found his bottle very interesting. He silently wished for the couch to swallow him up before his imagination went wild. His cheeks were burning up, he was sure, and he was glad for the dull lighting.
"So how many guys have you slept with? How many boyfriends?"
"Do you guys just want to know my entire romantic history?"
"Yes."
"Okay." Logan set his half-empty beer down down and started counting on his fingers. "So I've had four boyfriends, if you count the guy I dated for about three weeks when I was fourteen. I've slept with three and a half guys, blew five and have been blown by…seven? I can't remember everything."
"Wait, hold up," interrupted Carlos. "How do you sleep with three and a HALF guys?"
"I got really drunk and woke up half naked in a bed with a guy I've never seen before on top of me, but I don't really remember everything that happened, so…"
Lucy snorted. "Been there, done that."
"So how many guys have you bottomed for?" Jo asked. Logan felt like there were people listening in on their conversation now, but he didn't really care. He used to be shy about talking about his sex life, but Camille and his third boyfriend had changed that drastically for him. He honestly didn't really give a fuck what people thought of him now.
"Two. My second boyfriend, Todd, asked me to bottom for him but it didn't work out so great, so I mainly topped. And my fourth, Nate, liked to switch things up a little bit."
"Doesn't it, like, hurt?" Dak asked in a small voice.
Logan grinned at them wickedly. "You guys want me to go into a full explanation of the mechanics of gay sex?"
"N-no," Dak stuttered. Even Jo looked away shily. Only Lucy nodded.
Logan rolled his eyes. What pansies. "It hurts at first, but then it starts to feel good."
Kendall cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well." He looked at everyone except Logan. "I'm gonna go get another drink, anybody want something?"
The group immediately chorused out their requests. "Here, I'll help you, Kendall," said Logan, standing. The pair weaved their way through the crowd to the drink table.
"Sorry if I made you feel awkward back there," Logan said suddenly as he opened a bottle of vodka.
"What? No, it's fine," Kendall rushed out, feeling more than a little flustered.
"You sure?"
"Yeah…it's just…" Kendall hesitated to ask the question but then figured if anyone wouldn't judge, it was Logan. "How did you know?"
"That I was gay?"
"Yeah. Like, I don't know…was it just a sudden realization, or whatever?"
Logan shrugged. "Sort of. It came on slowly. I guess it started around fifth or sixth grade, when other guys were getting girlfriends or looking up pictures of naked women, but I didn't really get it. I can see how a woman could be considered beautiful or whatever- besides their vaginas- but I just wasn't into it. Then, when I was around twelve or thirteen, I started to realize I was looking at guys that way. I think I was in the eighth grade when I sort of just- came to the conclusion that I must be gay. It freaked me out a lot, to be honest. I thought being gay meant I had to wear rainbow flags and act flamboyant and that I was never allowed near a church again. But when I sort of sat myself down and thought about it, I realized I was still the same person, I just was interested in boob-less people, that's all. It helped when I finally told someone, kind of made me come to terms with it. After that, I was fine."
They gathered up the others' drinks and carried them back to the couch. "So did you ever get any crap? Like at school?" Kendall asked.
"A little. Texas isn't the most liberal state, obviously, but Dallas is a big city and my school was humongous."
"How big was it?"
"A few thousand people."
Dak whistled.
"That's not really that big. But it was big enough that not everyone knew who I was, so it wasn't like the whole student body hated me or anything."
"Were there other gay and bi kids?"
"Yeah, we sort of tended to band together a little bit, to be honest. But they weren't my only friends. I knew plenty of kids who didn't care if I was gay, or just didn't know. Sometimes the super religious kids would give me crap about saving me or whatever, and there were some homophobes, but it wasn't like excessive. No one ever killed themselves because of bullying or anything. I got my locker trashed once though."
Jo made a noise of disapproval in the back of her throat. Kendall seemed lost in thought as he took a sip from his cocktail so Logan decided not to bother him. Maybe he was concerned about what would happen if he came out? That is, if he was gay, which Logan didn't know for sure.
The night wore on and the group got progressively more and more drunk, leaving Logan to clean up their messes. Finally, at around one, he decided maybe it was best to leave now- that is, if he could track James and Carlos down. Kendall, Lucy, and some guy known only as "Guitar Dude" were taking over the couch. Guitar Dude stank of pot and Lucy and Kendall were both cackling over something supposedly hilarious that he had said.
Just as Logan was getting up, he felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around to see tall girl with wavy blonde hair staring him down in the most frightening manner possible. He could practically feel the hostile radiating through his body. This could only be Mercedes.
"Who are you, and why exactly are you at my party." It wasn't really a question.
"Um, I'm Logan. I came with James?" Out of all the vaginas that Logan had (unfortunately) ever encountered, this one had to be the most frightening, and he hadn't even seen it.
"James Diamond? How do you know him?"
"I'm, uh, his cousin. I just moved here."
"Really." She eyed him up and down for a second. "You're cute. I could use a new boyfriend."
Logan didn't really know what to say to that. Luckily, Kendall said it for him. "'Cedes!" He tugged on her hand and said in a loud stage whisper, "You can't take him. He's gaaaaaaaaaay."
Mercedes looked back up at Logan suspiciously and he nodded profusely. "Oh well then. I already have a gay best friend, unfortunately. But you can stay." Logan only squeaked in response as she spun on her heel and strutted away.
"Logannnn?" whined Kendall, a way too adorable pout adorning his face. "Can we go now? Pleeeease? I'm tired."
"Yeah, yeah, I just have to find James and Carlos, okay? Stay right here. Lucy, do you have a ride home?"
"I'm g'na stay here," she mumbled sleepily, resting her head on Guitar Dude's head.
"I got her, man. You go find the other dudes."
Logan ventured through the party and went up the stairs. If he found James, it would undoubtedly be in one of the many bedrooms. Sure enough, in the fourth one he checked (after inadvertently walking in on several couples) was a shirtless James making out with some girl. In the bed next to them was another girl, already asleep. It took Logan five minutes to convince James to get dressed and come downstairs with him. It turned out, the trick was to invoke his mother's name.
Logan led James through the busy halls and staircase and nearly had to punch a guy in order to get through. Finally, they got to the couch and saw Kendall already half asleep. "Can you take him out to the car?" asked Logan. James was relatively un-drunk, just horny. He nodded and went to grab Kendall's arms.
It took Logan another ten minutes of asking around to track down Carlos. He passed through a relatively empty hall and stumbled in on the surprising sight of Jo making out passionately with Dak. They didn't notice as he passed by. He smirked. Jo seemed to have gotten over him relatively fast. Not that he had a problem with that.
Carlos, it turned out, was attempting to climb one of the pillars in the miniature ballroom so he could swing from one of the many chandeliers. Stephanie, also relatively sober, was desperately trying to talk him out of it. Seeing as how reason wasn't working to well, Logan resorted to physically dragging him down, which took another ten minutes and more than a few bruises. When Carlos finally let go, he fell to the ground, giggling incessantly.
Logan looked down at Carlos apprehensively. "You sure this is the guy you're head over heels for?" he addressed Stephanie. She looked alarmed, but then realized that Carlos probably wouldn't remember any of this in the morning anyway.
She sighed. "He gets so crazy when he's drunk. Did you see him dancing earlier?"
"Unfortunately."
She shook her head. "I must be out of my mind."
"So…no action tonight?"
"Not tonight. Maybe next time."
"Do you need a ride home?"
"Nah, I can drive. Besides, I took Jo and Dak here. Have you seen them?"
"Yeah, playing tonsil hockey in the hallway between here and the dining room."
"Really. That's an interesting development."
"You're telling me."
It took a good fifteen minutes for Logan to drag Carlos out of the party and all the way down to the car. By the time they got there, Kendall was already fast asleep in the backseat and James was drinking from the bottle of water Logan had the foresight to put in the car. Before he could push Carlos into the backseat, he keeled over and began vomiting on the expansive lawn. Logan stepped back so not to get any on his shoes, then waited until Carlos was done before helping him into the car and buckling him in. James handed him the bottle of water from the front seat. "You better not get any vomit in my car, Carlos," he mumbled. Carlos muttered something unintelligible back.
When they finally left, it was nearly one-forty-five and Logan knew they were cutting it close. He had to speed a bit to get them back in time, but they made it, bursting in the door as quietly as possible at exactly one-fifty-eight. Logan dragged Carlos to the couch and laid him down on his side, placing a trash can next to his face. James was awake enough to drag himself up the stairs and into bed. Logan went back to get Kendall, but found him lying on the stairs, looking up at the ceiling and tracing imaginary circles on to it.
"Hey, Logie," he giggled, a little bit too loudly for two in the morning.
"Hey, Kenny." The nickname left little flip-flops in his stomach. "Let's take you upstairs, all right?"
He placed Kendall in one of the guest beds- as far away from Kelly's room as possible, and laid him on his side as well. He felt obligated to help Kendall into some pajamas, or at least out of his clothes, but hesitated for two reasons- one, guys could occasionally be uncomfortable when Logan did that. And two, he was pretty sure he would have a heart attack if he saw Kendall shirtless. Luckily, Kendall solved that problem for him by sleepily sliding off his beanie and unbuttoning his own shirt. Sure enough, just the sight of Kendall's lightly defined abs and pecs made Logan's breath hitch. He also had to fight the overwhelming desire to touch.
Kendall opened his eyes and looked up at Logan, giggling again. "Logie Loges." He reached out, intending to pat Logan's head, but instead only getting his face. He laughed. Logan looked so adorable. He took his beanie and placed it on Logan's head. "You look so cute!" He had a faint feeling that he shouldn't be saying that, but he was too drunk to register why.
Logan snickered. "Really."
Kendall sighed and closed his eyes, rolling onto his stomach and struggling to get his shirt all the way off. Logan helped him. "You always look cute," he mumbled drunkenly. Logan was silent then and Kendall drifted off to sleep. Logan watched him for a minute, memorizing how his face looked when relaxed and in dreamland, before he decided it was getting creepy and got up to go to bed himself. He shut the door behind him as quietly as possible and went to his own room, quickly peeling off his clothes and getting into pajamas. He took off Kendall's beanie and inspected it before he turned off the light.
Yes, he thought, Camille had definitely been right about Kendall. Though he hated to let false hope in, Kendall definitely had something going on in his life- not every guy would call another guy cute. Now, the question was, how would he get Kendall to admit it?
The beanie smelled just like Kendall, he realized. He fell asleep sniffing it. That night, he dreamt of Kendall, and though it wasn't for the first time, it was the first time he dreamt of holding Kendall's hand while they walked on the beach, talking and laughing and both wearing beanies as the sun set.