A/N: I do not own Twilight or its characters. Sorry for keeping it in Alice's POV and I get that you guys want to know what Bella is thinking but there are way too many fanfictions in Bella's POV so I thought I'd focus on Alice and just throw Bella in there just to give a mystery affect. But yeah just thought I'd explain.
Oh and the song is The Last Night by Skillet. The reason I started this Fanfiction. Enjoy!
Chapter 6 – Past Collides with the Present:
BPOV:
I storm out of the bathroom. She was being completely unreasonable. How could she leave out her past? It's part of her. I know that I've only known her for a few hours but I just know that she has more to her than everyone sees.
I sat back down in class and counted the seconds until Alice would return. Each second ticked by ridiculously slow, mocking me. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 2893. The bell rings. I blink repeatedly, confused. Alice still hasn't returned. I gather my stuff clumsily. I have placed all my supplies in my bag and slowly pull the zipper all the way around. I am hoping to buy myself a little time to have Alice come back and at least get her things.
I look back at the sound of the door opening and I am surprised when Jasper walks through. He smiles and then walks over to pick up Alice's things. He then promptly walks over to the teacher. I hear him explain to the teacher a well constructed lie. The teacher bought it, completely fooled.
I however was not fooled for a second. I knew I had upset Alice but not so much that she couldn't be close to me long enough to grab her things and then skip the rest of the day. This was much more serious than I originally thought. She must be utterly ashamed of her past. I didn't think someone so sweet and kind could have a past that would cause this.
I stop by the bathroom on my way to class. It was empty. I didn't think she would still be there but I had to check.
I jitter with frustration, sadness, guilt, and also a strange chill in the air that could not be warmed by Alice's bright personality. I begin to rub my arms, convincing myself that I was actually starting to feel cold.
I get smacked in the face with a dodge ball 8 times in gym. I probably have a black eye but I don't even care. The stares of the people around are empty.
I walk to my truck. My eyes widen at a familiar freezing touch. A smile starts to ascend my face and I turn my head. I am confused when my eyes fall on Jasper.
"Can you come with me please?" he asks quietly, almost inaudible.
"Ok," I hesitate. He held out an arm, showing the way that we were going.
"I thought we'd go to the soccer game," he says pretending to be casual. I look at him curious.
"I really should go home to cook for Charlie if we are just going to watch the game," I say dropping the hint that this better be important.
"I think you'll want to hear some of things I have to say while we watch. There are some things that you must know about your new friend," he finishes quietly. My ears perk at the last two words. Was he trying to imply something? Shut up. You wish. Alice is beautiful and an angel. Like she would ever be interested in you.
My inner voice was right.
"So have I kept your interest now?" he asks kind of mocking almost.
"Yes," I smirk back. He smiles which falls too soon. With its fall, a new mood is set between us. He sits down on a bleacher seat and I join him on the same row but about 2 feet from him.
"Ok well first, you must know that the Alice you see and the real Alice are two different people. She was hurt by the ones she trusted most, twice," he starts. I could tell that this was not going to be something that I want to hear but also that I knew that I would have to force myself to listen.
"I guess I'll just start at the beginning," he sighs. I turn and face him, looking into his eyes, to help give him confidence. I nod. He inhales and exhales deeply.
"Alice grew up in Russia. She lived in a traditional home of Russian culture. But at a very young age she was sent to an asylum. You must understand that in Russia they still use very archaic and inhumane modes of "treatment". She was brutally tortured through shock therapy, drowning, and being beaten almost to death," he cringes at the mention of each act. I brought a hand to my mouth. Tears began to form and blur my vision. He glances at me but turns his gaze back to the game as he continues.
"She was tortured for years. In her early teens she met me. We became very close. I helped her escape and we traveled for years until we made it over to America. We both thought that we had met the person that we would marry," he smiles at this. I could tell that there were facts that he was leaving out but I knew that he was telling me everything that he could.
"About two years ago, we were adopted by Esme and Carlisle. I'm afraid that I was the second to cause her pain. I feel guilt for her everyday but Edward stole my heart after a few months with our new family and I broke Alice's in the process," his gaze fell to the ground. It looks like he wants to cry but couldn't.
It didn't matter. I was crying enough for the both of us. The tears pour over my cheeks. He stops letting me gather myself after all the information that he had already given me. I feel that he was just getting started. It made my stomach churn that this was not even the worst of the story.
Alice had her heart completely shattered by her first love, and savior from her dark prison. No wonder she had trouble telling me. She probably still cared for him while he was happy with Edward. Before I sat on this thought and created more tears, I wipe my face and sniff.
"I'm good. You can go on," I answer, needing desperately to hear the rest.
"Well at first she yelled at me and told me that she couldn't even look at me. She lay out in the forest around our house for a week and a half eating very little and drinking just enough so she didn't dehydrate. If it weren't for Rose and Esme, she probably would've just died out there," he looks sadly over to me. He cares deeply for Alice. They would've been the ideal couple. I smile reassuring.
"After that she was just empty. She walked around as if she had nothing to live for. She refused to come within 10 feet of me. I completely understood but it just flared the guilt that I already felt. Then the worst memory of my life happened," he chokes out. I wait.
"She was out in the forest and was attacked by 3 mountain lion cubs after the mother had "killed her". It was amazing that she survived. We came just in time and we had the car to scare them off. It broke our hearts however when we heard her mumble "Why didn't you just let me die?" She had tried to kill herself," he stops noticing that my mouth fell open again. I couldn't believe it. I just stare at him. I mean I could tell that there was a detail off but that it was mostly true.
"If you don't believe me there is still a scar on her left wrist. Just check and it's like that all over her body. It's completely horrible. But that's not even the worst," he pauses. My breath catches in my throat. How could there be anything worse?
"She tried again about a month later. This time she built a huge fire. I tackled her just before she was about to walk into the fire," he looks over to me still unbelieving himself.
"She was actually about to walk into the fire. I held her to the ground and refused to let her go. I had to settle it. She finally forgave me, in a way. It was the best I could've hoped for," he ends. I burst into tears again. I made silent sobs to myself.
He sits and waits for about 10 minutes until I calm myself. Then it suddenly clicked.
"Wait, that is why you came by that night," I both question and state. He nods.
"I feared that after all her progress that something had happened and she was going to try again," he answers somberly.
I raise my hand back over my mouth trying to soften my uncontrollable sobs. He slides closer and places a hand on my back, rubbing gently.
"You must understand that Alice is still very fragile and that she just couldn't bring herself to tell you. She's ashamed and embarrassed by her past. She doesn't feel that she deserves to be happy again but this morning for the first time in months, she was happy," he finishes. I look up at him with tear-stricken cheeks and bloodshot eyes. I sniff.
She was happy for the first time in months? Was it because of me? But how? She was the one that is helping me. Even if she didn't want me like I want her, I want to at least be there for her as her friend.
"You caused her happiness. I know it. I saw it last night as she bantered with me for the first time in years. I saw that her smile did not fade as I left. It was you. You make her happy. And I thought that you should know that you can't give up on her. She needs you. I can't make her happy anymore especially now that she has met you," he says, eyes softly glowing as he looks at me.
"Will she want to see me though?" I ask.
"No, she is thinking. She actually went to our aunt's house in Idaho," he answers. Bullshit. But I guess he couldn't tell me and I just accept that he meant that she was somewhere that I could not reach her.
"Oh," I answer softly.
"If you need anything. Feel like you need to do something for her to help her understand. Whatever it is. Just let me know and I will help in any way that I can," he told me warmly.
I thought for a moment. I knew what I should do.
"Do you have a piano?" I ask. He looks at me oddly for a second and then smiles.
"Yes. We also have a recording studio. Edward likes to write and record songs. Would you like to use it?" he asks. I nod.
"I really need to go cook for Charlie now but can I have your number?" I ask. He pulls out a note card and scribbles a number down.
"Thank you," I say grateful.
"Thank you," he answers in return.
We part. I go home and cook for Charlie. Then I do the little homework I had. I stay up all night thinking of my time with Alice, sighing peacefully into sleep.
One Week Later
Ring. Ring. Ri-
"Hello," answers an angelic voice, with a hinted chill.
"Hi, this is Bella, is Jasper there?" I ask, slightly frightened.
"Yes," the cold voice replies.
"Hello," answers the much warmer voice, a second later.
"Who was that?" I asked wanting to know who I should avoid at his house.
"That's Rose. Sorry I think she's upset that Alice is still gone as well," he answers somberly.
"Oh, sorry about that," Guilt fills me.
"That's all right. Would you like to use the piano now?" he asks changing the subject thankfully.
"Yes please. I might be over for a while. Is that alright?" I ask. I had been thinking all week about what I want to do but I haven't yet figured a melody to go with it. I mentally thank Renee for forcing me to take piano lessons long enough so I could do this one thing for Alice.
"That is fine. We're going to Port Angeles to have dinner. We won't be back until about midnight or 1. And if you need more time I can convince them to stop by somewhere else and just stay in a hotel," he offers. He is being so generous. Alice is so lucky for the love of her family. I don't even see why she needs me.
"No no, midnight should be fine. I wouldn't want to force your family out of their own house any longer than a few hours. I already feel bad for that," I answer.
"No it's fine. We were planning on going out anyways," he answers, lying to make me feel better. I thought I heard a growl in the background. My spine shivers.
"Ok well how do I get there?" I ask. He gives me very simple directions.
"I guess I will see you shortly then," I answer awkwardly.
"I'll see you soon," he answers, cheerfully.
I walk outside to my truck. It churns to life as I turn the key in the ignition. Charlie had the night shift once again.
I pull out of the driveway and drive to all the Cullens except the one that I so desperately want to see. I've thought about nothing this week except for the few encounters I had with Alice. They were the only memories that could bring a smile across my lips.
I pull up to an extravagant house. My mouth drops open a little. My eyes widen. It is a two-story, old style beautiful house.
I cut the engine and lose my footing as I step out of my truck. I continue to stare in wonder as I approach the mansion. The door opens before I reach it.
With it opened the familiar and yet unfamiliar Cullen family appears. Of course I had met all of the children but they seemed to be keeping their distance from me. I look to the new ones that I could only guess were Esme and Carlisle. Most would assume that they were both ravishing super models.
Carlisle had blonde wavy locks, rugged mountain man facial features, and the same golden eyes that were present across all the faces of the family. They had great wisdom and kindness present deep within them. Esme was beauty personified just like Rosalie except with light brown hair. Her eyes however were motherly and giving unlike Rose's hard, cold ones.
"Hello, you must be Bella," Carlisle says politely.
"Yes. Thank you for letting me use your piano. I'm sorry that I've forced you out of your house," I finish slightly guilty.
"We were planning on going out already. And we're happy to let you use it if you feel that it will make Alice happy. That's all we want," he answers softly.
I look around to see everyone nodding sadly at this. My heart broke. They were willing to do anything to have their daughter and sister happy again. She must've been so sad over these past few months.
I felt like I was missing something but pushed it out of my mind.
They bid me farewell and walk over toward a very nice car. They all fit just barely and Jasper waves one final time. They were off down the road and disappearing from sight.
I look around the house, the inside more stunning than the outside. I snap myself out of my daze. The piano didn't seem to be anywhere on the first floor.
I walk up the stairs and decide to start at the end of the hall. I shouldn't have. I open the door slowly. Alice. It was her room. Everything I knew about her told me so. There was no doubt.
I timidly walk inside, tears already beginning to form. As I cross the threshold, I inhale her familiar smell. The tears slide down my cheeks. I had realized that I missed Alice this past week but not how much until I realized that her scent was not accompanied by her beautiful face and sweet laughter.
I sit on her bed remembering.
Memories flood back from that night over a week ago.
My eyes fall upon her face. So beautiful. Too beautiful for words. She had been staring into the fire but now possessed a similar intensity towards me. I am lost for words but after she wouldn't speak I had forced myself to.
She was out thinking at two in the morning. What could this beautiful angel have to worry about? Something troubled her features. I could tell. I would help her forget her troubles tonight at least or help her get over them if I could.
She asks me why I was here. I figure I would just be honest at the risk of sounding stupid. She laughs. Probably the best sound that has graced my ears. I had to force my eyes to stay open and not relish in the beautiful sound.
She asks me if everything seems alright. It's not. Not when she looks so broken. I tell her that. She looks back at me curiously.
She asks what I mean and before I can answer we are joined by Jasper. He seems very worried. I find out that my angel's name is Alice.
Alice talks with him and he is off after a short while.
My heart drops because I get the feeling that she and him are dating. They have a close bond. I ask her and am relieved when she answers no. She then jokes about not knowing my name. I tell her and try to imply that I will let her have anything she wants to help me figure out if she's interested.
She answers politely and I give up. I then ask if she wanted to go to the beach so that I can at least be with her even if she doesn't like me the way I like her.
I grab her hand and it is freezing. I was about to let go out of instinct but instead my hand held still, not wanting to let go. I turn around and rub my hands along hers creating delicious friction.
In another pathetic attempt to show her how I feel, I removed my jacket after her protests and walk around to put her arms through the sleeves. I even zip it up for her. I can't help what I'm doing but I just smile to hide anything but just regular 21st century girl affection. She asks if I have a boyfriend.
I think about it for a minute. I shouldn't stay on my problems tonight. I wish I had someone but I do not want any boy.
I told her no and joke about how I'm making friends with my books. I grab her hand and continue pulling her toward the beach enjoying her light grip in mine.
I thought about an idea and then turn around abruptly. I lean over and remove her shoes after she got over her confusion. I sit down and begin to remove mine. I am pleasantly surprised when she leans down and starts to remove them for me. Her soft cold fingers hold my calf as she removes my shoe. We exchange smiles.
She gets up and puts her hands out for me to grab. I grasp them loving it. She pulls with surprising force and accidentally sends me flying toward her body where she catches me easily.
Our faces are inches apart and I can feel her cool breath graze across my neck. I almost kiss her but instead I thank her awkwardly. She says you're welcome and drops her arms from around me as well as her gaze from mine.
Ok now I know that she doesn't like girls. She is just being polite.
She asks about my earlier comment before Jasper interrupted us and it broke my heart having to tell her what I saw in her eyes.
She stutters cutely when I seem to read her easily and I explain.
I stop after I realize that she has stopped. I turn around and she collapses. I rush over to her wondering what I said. She just looks at me and tells me that she is surprised. She then throws her arms over my shoulders and buries her face in my neck.
I love holding her like this and try to comfort her telling her that she can tell me anything.
We stay like this all night long until the sun rises about 2 hours later and I regretfully have to release her. I tell her that I must go home. She apologizes and I refuse to accept it because it was the best night I have ever had.
I go back into the forest and head home from my love.
I came back from my thoughts of the first time I met her. I stop crying. I look around her room. Her room is empty and it is completely my fault. I have to find a way to make it up to her.
My thoughts drift back to a week ago when I ruined everything.
She starts the conversation innocently enough by obviously not liking my choice of clothing. She then compliments my body and I look down at myself confused and give her a "you're crazy" look. I then joke that she is on drugs.
She seems offended by the harsh comments about myself. She thinks I'm beautiful and I didn't accept the compliment like I should have.
A door opens right in front of us and I grab her arm to stop her but she fell backward instead. She seems overly surprised and tense. She has been like that all day. I fall down on top of her since I was still holding her arm.
I place a hand on her hip, loving the smooth texture. I ask her if she is alright. She is and asks me the same. I reply yes and then finally confront her on her weird mood all day. She answers with a stupid response while leaning onto her elbows, putting our faces even closer together. I am overcome by the urge to kiss her again but decide to lighten the mood by joking about her temperature.
She appears to have stop breathing at that. I look at her curious but the bell rings before I can ask. I remove my hand from her hip and place it on the floor to hoist myself up. I offer a hand but she is already up.
She rushes to class and I follow. She excuses herself shortly after. I give her 10 minutes and then join her.
I pushed her too hard, too fast. I didn't deserve her as a friend or anything else.
I push these thoughts out of my mind and head to the next room. It was the one with a white grand piano. I sit down on the bench and spend the next 3 hours coming up with the best song I can. I can only hope that it is enough for her.
I am about to leave the house. I put my hand out to grasp the door handle. It turns of its own accord. They must be home early. It is only 10:30. I step back to let them swing the door open.
My eyes connect with . . .
APOV:
. . . Bella. What is she doing here? I had heard the piano playing an unfamiliar melody a little while ago but I thought that Edward was just writing another song for Jasper.
Her face looks worn and worried. My poor Bella. What had I done to her? Making her worry like this. It looks like she hasn't slept since I left.
"Alice," she whispers, just as surprised as I am.
"Bella," I whisper, holding her gaze intensely.
"I'm sorry," we say in unison. We laugh shortly. I step forward. She meets me in the middle with a tight hug and buries her face in my neck. I return only a little force, even though I want to return so much more.
She pulls back and looks at me concerned.
"I still can't tell you. I'm sorry but I'm too ashamed," I say sadly. I can't believe that I still can't bring myself to tell Bella what she wants to know.
"Will you be mad if I told you that Jasper told me everything?" she asks hesitating.
"No," I answer smiling. I'll have to remember to thank Jasper. It must've been hard for him too. I wonder if he told her absolutely everything. I doubt it.
She looks at my wrist. She grabs it in her hand and turns it over. She looks at it intently and then sadness engulfs her shining eyes. She looks up at me but I drop my gaze to look at the floor in shame. She brings her other hand up to my wrist and uses her index finger to trace the marks.
She starts to cry. I look up. I use my free hand and bring it to her face using my thumb to wipe the fallen tears from her smooth cheeks.
"I'm sorry," I repeat. I never wanted her to know about what I had done to myself. She smiles forgiving.
She hugs me once more and I inhale her scent deeply. I don't care if she hears me this time. I have missed her so much. I am relieved to hear her inhale deeply as well. I feel her nose and lips press against my shoulder as she inhales again before pulling away.
"Can you come with me?" she asks hopefully. I look at her curious but comply after thinking about it very shortly. She grabs my hand and laces her fingers through mine. It feels so right but I remind myself it still doesn't mean anything.
We walk up the stairs and into Edward's room. She releases my hand and goes to sit on the bench in front of the piano. She motions for me to sit next to her which I do.
"Well I'm a horrible singer but I wrote you a song to apologize and to show you . . . Never mind. Just listen," she tells me. It is cute how she blushes when she is nervous.
I place a hand on hers for encouragement. She smiles and then removes her hand from under mine. She moves her hands over the keys and I see them shaking slightly. I move closer and wrap an arm around her waist, while also laying my head on her shoulder.
The melody is soft and sweet.
You come to me with scars on your wrists
You tell me this will be the last night
Feeling like this
I just came to say goodbye
Didn't want you to see me cry I'm fine
But I know it's a lie
I would have cried if I could have. The lyrics are beautiful. Her voice is beautiful. I don't care what she says.
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere
You want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms
And I won't let go
I'm everything
You need me to be.
Bella starts to cry after this. She sung with such emotion and I'm just glad that she cares so deeply for me when I felt the same. I close my eyes to lose myself in her singing.
You're parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you
They don't know you at all
I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase you'll be ok
You're fine
But I know it's a lie
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere
You want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms
And I won't let go
I'm everything
You need me to be.
The last night away from me.
The night is so long when
Everything's wrong
If you give me your hand and
I will help you hold on
Tonight, Tonight.
The piano melody is growing in intensity along with Bella's singing.
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere
You want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms
And I won't let go
I'm everything
You need me to be.
I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why.
The last night away from me.
Away from me.
I open my eyes. She kept her fingers hovering over the keys for a moment and then places them in her lap. I grip her around her waist only slightly tighter. I lift my head off her shoulder and look at her. I bring my hands up to cup both her cheeks and wipe her tears away with my thumbs.
"Look at me. You're supposed to be the one crying, not me," she says breaking the silence and laughing at herself. She pouts.
"It was beautiful. Thank you. I just don't think I can cry anymore," I answer truthfully. I look at her beautiful face. She wraps her arms around my neck, burying her face into it. I feel the heat of a blush flare and figure that is the reason for her hiding her face from view.
I feel her trying to stifle a yawn. I lean back and she looks up curious.
"You should go to sleep," I say.
"But you aren't tired and . . . yawn . . . neither am I," she says yawning through her argument, and losing.
"Oh yes I'm tired let's go to bed," I lie. I pretend to yawn. She pouts. I smile.
"You're lying," she answers, not too happy.
"I'm sorry that I'm an insomniac. Come on, you are way too tired to drive. Stay here," I answer smiling.
"Ok," she answers without fighting, leaning forward against me again.
"Bella, I didn't mean right here," I whisper giggling. I look down to see her smiling.
"But why not, you are so comfortable," she mumbles, furrowing her eyebrows while still leaning against me.
I get up from the bench, keeping a hand on each shoulder while walking around the bench to get behind her. Her head drops lazily. She moans.
"Alice," she complains. I slide my hands down, one on her right hip and the other under her left arm. Her heartbeat quickens slightly. That's interesting.
Her eyes flutter open and she cocks her head back up at me.
"I'm helping you over to my room," I answer holding back the urge to kiss her. I raise my eyebrow.
She smiles then takes the arm that I was holding and moves it around my neck, "forcing" me to place my now free hand on her stomach.
She stands up clumsily and I hold her still as her body involuntarily wobbles. I steer her toward my room. I let go shortly to open the door and she almost falls to the floor but I reach back out for her.
"Wow you're fast," she answers sleepily. I figure that she is too tired to even notice so I lean her over and scoop her up bridal style. Best moment of my life. Then I lightly kick the door the rest of the way open and walk through to regretfully place her on the bed.
I remove the sheets from under her and slip her underneath them. She smiles at the warmth. I turn away from her.
"I was supposed to take care of you," she mumbles though I hear every word. I turn back around. I place a hand on her cheek. She places one of hers over it clumsily. She smiles again.
"Can I hold you?" she asks. I'm confused by what she means and by the look on her face I don't think she even quite understood it.
She looks like she is pondering. Then slides over to the over half of the bed and pats where she was just laying. I smile, now understanding.
I slip under the covers and turn my back to her. She snakes her arm around my waist. She moves close, pressing her warm, blood-filled body against my cold lifeless one.
"You are still so cold. Why haven't you eaten more Iron yet?" she asks frowning into my shoulder and neck. I laugh.
"I'm too busy being your pillow," I joke causing her to laugh into a sigh.
"Goodnight Alice," she sighs happily before she is lost.
"Goodnight my Bella," I answer in return. I thought I heard her heart skip a beat but I can't be sure.
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A/N: Well hope you liked it and reviews, as always, are appreciated.