Chapter Six: Giving Up Is Hard To Do
Hermione sighed. "Let go," she had whispered to herself. But that was before she realised that she wasn't in the position to let go. Because to let go, this entailed having the person, but she did not have Draco, there was nothing for her to let go of.
"Give up," she decided. That was a better phrase. Letting go of someone meant that that person was yours to begin with. To give up means that he was never yours. Hermione decided, right then and there, as she closed her eyes and prepared for sleep to overcome her, she had to give up.
--
Hermione checked her reflection on the mirror in her dormitory for the umpteenth time the next morning before deciding she looked decent enough. "I guess this will have to do," she whispered to herself.
A knock was heard from the door. "Primping for Malfoy?"
Hermione took a quick glance and found Ginny smirking at her from the doorway. She rolled her eyes and walked towards the door and passed Ginny on her way down the stairs. She looked over her shoulders and stared at the younger Gryffindor. "For your information, I don't primp."
"Right," Ginny nodded solemnly as she followed the Head Girl down the staircase. "Except for Malfoy."
"Especially not for Malfoy," Hermione rebutted. "I've decided that I should just give up."
"When did you decide that?" Ginny asked as she pulled on Hermione's arm.
"Last night," Hermione answered. She stopped walking and turned to face Ginny.
"How come?"
"Because, Ginny, he's betrothed."
"So?" Ginny asked exasperatedly.
"Nothing will come of it if I continue to… like him," Hermione said, grasping hard for the right words.
"How are you sure?"
"I'm not."
"Then what's the point?"
"I don't like feeling stupid. It's a foolish thing to like him," Hermione said as she turned to continue her descent from the dormitories.
"You can't just let go."
"Give me one good reason as to why I shouldn't," Hermione said indifferently as she reached the landing in the Common Room.
"Because I think he likes you, too," Ginny said seriously. "I don't see him with anyone else except you. He hardly smiles. But when he's with you, he's always grinning or laughing."
"That's not a reason." Hermione sighed. "Besides, he was with his girlfriend yesterday."
"Girlfriend?"
"Didn't I tell you he was betrothed?!"
"But that doesn't mean they're together now!" Ginny exclaimed. "And she studies here? Who is she?"
"Why are you so affected by this?" Hermione asked, giving Ginny a curious look.
Ginny smiled sheepishly. "Well, I'm a hopeless romantic."
"Right," Hermione shook her head. "I'm not buying that."
Ginny frowned. She leant forward and placed her hand on Hermione's shoulder. "Look, quite frankly, I was disappointed when you and Ron fazed out. I thought you would be good together, good for each other. And you almost had it. But when it seemed like things were working out for you two, you backed off. Now you're back in the friend zone.
"And now, I see you like Malfoy a lot. And he likes you back. I'm just afraid that you might blow this thing off and end up just being his friend," Ginny said disconcertedly.
"I am just a friend," Hermione said defensively. "And I did not 'back off' from Ron. We both realised we loved each other, but it always seemed platonic. You know how people often rush into relationships just because they feel like it's the end of the world? Maybe it was like that. History shows that during times of war, a lot of young people rush into marriage –"
"Leave it to you to start talking about history when we're clearly discussing your love life," Ginny said her eyes dancing with amusement. "Or lack thereof."
Hermione shook her head. "Well, we're done discussing it."
"Done discussing what?" Harry said as he and Ron marched down the staircase.
"Hermione's love life," Ginny said with a huge smile.
"What about it?" Ron asked, returning Ginny's grin. "Can't get over me, eh?"
Hermione whirled about and stomped her way to the Common Room's exit. "No one's allowed to discuss my love life."
"She's touchy today," Ginny said with a knowing smile.
"So who is it?" asked Harry as he wrapped his arms around Ginny's waist.
"Can't you guess?" Ginny grabbed Harry's hand and led the two boys to follow Hermione out the Gryffindor Common Room and down the flight of stairs.
"Draco Malfoy," Ron said after a long pause. "I'm right, aren't I?"
Ginny simply smiled.
Ron shook his head. "I wonder how this will play out. Can you imagine?" He quickened his steps and fell into place next to Harry. "Bloody hell. Do you think he likes her back?"
Harry laughed. Ginny smirked. They both rolled their eyes.
"What?!" Ron exclaimed. "I'm serious. That, for your information, was a serious question."
"Yes, Ronald." Ginny laughed. "I think he does. But he doesn't know it yet."
"How do you know that?" Ron asked. "How do women know these things, when the blokes themselves don't?"
"We're intuitive," Ginny simply said. "Hermione, not so much though. She's a bit in denial right now." Then looking at Ron seriously she raised and eyebrow and whispered, "Not jealous, are we?"
Ron blushed crimson right up to the roots for his flaming red hair. "Of course not."
Harry scoffed but did not say anything.
--
Hermione trudged across the school grounds alongside Harry, Ron and Ginny, still miffed about their earlier teasing.
"Hermione!" she heard a familiar voice call her from behind them.
She tried to ignore it but it kept on calling after her, persistently louder each time. Ginny shot her a curious look, to which Hermione just shook her head. Ginny pouted in obvious disapproval. And just when Hermione thought she had gotten rid of Malfoy, a strong arm suddenly slung itself around her shoulders. Hermione body stiffened.
"Hey guys," a breathless Draco said as he caught their pace. The he turned to look down at Hermione. "You must not have heard me, it is bleeding windy lately, but I've been calling you."
"Must have been that, dreadful wind, eh?" Ginny said sarcastically, but Malfoy didn't take notice.
"Can I join you guys at Hogsmeade, then?" Malfoy asked with a sheepish grin.
"Sure!" Ginny said with a huge grin on her face. "But Harry and Ron won't be joining us though."
"What?!" Hermione nearly shouted; an incredulous look plastered on her face. She was turning bright red.
"Sorry Hermione," Harry said in a rush. "Didn't we tell you? Must have overlooked it. But because of the busy schedule of the team, I decided to forego of Hogsmeade day for an extra training session. Ron and I are headed for the Pitch now, actually."
Hermione glared at them, but this didn't help her situation. "Where are your brooms then?"
"To be Accio'd later, we didn't feel like bringing them along," Ron said matter-of-factly.
Hermione glared at them once more and studied their faces. She suspected treachery but wasn't quite sure. And with a wave, Harry and Ron just continued their walk towards the Pitch.
"That's okay," Malfoy said, still oblivious to the situation. "It'll be just us three then."
"Er… not exactly," Ginny said.
Hermione quickly shot Ginny a haughty glare. If Ginny left them alone and escaped to somewhere else, Hermione knew she could bloody well strangle her at that very moment.
But then Ginny smiled. "I promised Luna that we'd meet her at the entrance."
Malfoy nodded. "The four of us then."
Hermione heaved a sigh of relief. "Well, what are you lot waiting for? Let's go, I'm freezing my bleeding behind in the cold."
Malfoy laughed and led them to the entryway to Hogsmeade. "Watch your mouth, Granger."
--
Later that morning, after hours of perusing shelves upon shelves of the most succulent-looking sweets imaginable at Honeydukes and raiding the stock of jokes and tricks at Zonko's and even replenishing their school supplies with a quick stop at Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop, Hermione found herself sitting at a small table inside Madame Puddifoot's tea shop.
She had originally suggested getting a drink at The Three Broomsticks only for them to find it jam-packed with Hogwarts students trying to keep warm inside the pub. So Draco had led them to the quaint little teashop.
It was Hermione's first time inside the shop and found herself looking around with mild interest. She sat comfortably in the cushioned seat and removed her gloves as she studied the interior of the place. It was a small, cramped teashop with decor on the tacky side of frilly. But it had a certain charm to it, she supposed.
Tired, she leaned her head against the windowpane, beside which their table was situated, and began playing with her gloves. Ginny and Luna were at the counter, ordering drinks for themselves. And Malfoy had offered to buy Hermione a drink – much to her annoyance, but nonetheless felt flattered by his attention. Not a moment later, Luna slid into the seat beside her and Ginny across from her.
"He's buying you your drink," Ginny said smugly. "Now, tell me he doesn't like you."
Hermione frowned. "That's totally beside the point. He's betrothed." She then reached down to grab a discarded copy of that day's Daily Prophet left lying on the floor of the teashop. She opened it up and began reading, trying to avoid Ginny's eyes. She stared at the letters, but none of them was being absorbed by her busy mind. Her thoughts were, understandably, elsewhere.
From the corner of her eyes, she saw Malfoy holding two cups of coffee and was heading their way. Hermione continued to avert her eyes from anyone else and continued to her pretend reading. Then she felt, rather than saw, Luna transferring to the chair beside Ginny to leave the seat next to Hermione free for Malfoy to take. She froze and felt the blood rush to her face. Her hands shook. How dare her friends play with them like that! Now, didn't that sneaky move make it obvious to Malfoy that she liked him? Why did Luna have to do that?! What would Malfoy think? Would he assume that she wanted him sitting beside her?
Hermione continued to slouch in her chair in order to avoid anyone's gaze, even when Malfoy slid into the chair beside her and placed her cup of steaming coffee on the table in front of her. She was furious with her two friends at that moment and didn't know what to do about it.
Putting the paper down, trying to control her temper by breathing in and out deeply, Hermione pasted a smile on her face and prepared herself to act okay. She joined in on the conversation and even managed to relax. There was nothing she could do otherwise, the damage has been done.
But as soon as Malfoy stood up to use the lavatory, she immediately pounced on Ginny and Luna. Glaring at Luna, she growled her query under her breath. "What's was that play all about? Why did you have to transfer beside Ginny?"
Then, turning to the redhead, she shook her head. "Ginevra Weasley, this is beyond you. But I know it's all your idea. What would he think now, eh? How much more obvious could you lot get?"
Ginny smirked and shook her head back at Hermione. But Luna was the one who spoke up. "What are you talking about? Didn't you see it, Hermione?"
"See what?" Hermione asked incredulously.
Luna smiled. "I didn't move because I just wanted to. He made me move." Luna began to re-enact what happened by moving her right hand back and forth in a shooing motion.
"N-no…" Hermione stammered. "I didn't see that. I was reading the Prophet."
"He was shooing Luna, Hermione, away from that seat. She didn't do anything. He was the one who wanted to sit beside you," Ginny said with a knowing smile. "Now, hush. He's on his way back."
Hermione felt her heart pound against her ribcage, and against her better judgment. It didn't mean anything, did it? So he wanted to sit beside her, that didn't mean she should get her hopes up. He was much closer to Hermione than to the other two girls, and it made sense that he'd want to sit beside her, else he would have no one to talk to. Right?
Confusion swirled through Hermione like the whipped cream that topped her coffee, and she felt a bit dizzy. What did it mean?
Malfoy sat down beside her again and smiled at her. Huh.
--
Author's Notes: Sorry for the very late update. I've been terribly busy at work plus the holidays just passed by, so I had a lot of parties and family reunions to attend. So before anything else, HAPPY CHRISTMAS to all of you, dear readers and I would also like to greet you a very wonderful 2008 ahead of us.
Anyhoo, I really do hope you enjoyed this chapter and cross your fingers (and toes too!) that I'd be able to update again real soon. Thanks so much for reading, but before closing the window or hitting the back button or any other button on your screen, please do leave a review! Thanks and ciao!