Of Letters and Friends
People heading for the floo and door alike, Molly accepted the farewells tossed her way as she began the work of cleaning up her home after yet another Order meeting. Sighing as she stood up and straightened out her back, she wondered if she and Arthur should look into a new home. This little townhouse barely held her, her husband, and Arthur's nephews on a good day in the summer, but when there were Order members and their children running about as well? Or the other times throughout the year when families needed a place to stay between having their homes razed and finding a new one? Undetectable Extension Charms became a must. However, Molly was beginning to feel they weren't enough anymore and that it might be time for a move to a bigger home.
Maybe a house in the countryside would be nice; one with three or four bedrooms and another sitting room to use. At least then Robert and Horton could have their own room to share when they stayed over in the summer instead of having to share with little Wilber. But now was not the time to think about a new home. That'd be best discussed with Arthur a little later. After they finished cleaning up and opened a bottle of wine to relax.
Pushing a lock of hair back behind her ear, Molly went to collect a set of cups scattered on the coffee table when a shadow cast itself over her work. Looking up, she saw Lily Potter.
The poor woman was pale, making the shadows beneath her eyes all the more ghoulish. "Hello, Lily," Molly greeted kindly as she paused once again in her cleaning.
Fiddling a bit with her sweater's sleeve, Lily seemed to become someone much younger. She looked more a schoolgirl than a married woman to Molly, and knowing what she did from talking with her brothers, she even knew that was true. The poor girl was hardly twenty. When it became clear Lily would not be forthcoming in why she'd come up to her, Molly inquired, "Is there something you want, dear?"
Blinking, Lily gave a sheepish smile before taking a breath. "Seeing as this is going to be my and James's last Order meeting until You-Know-Who's gone, I wanted to say goodbye," she whispered. "You have been exceptionally kind to me these past couple months and I'm sorry I won't get to speak with you again until the war is over."
"Then you two chose going into hiding, then?" Molly questioned for clarity as she searched the younger woman's face.
"Yes," Lily replied, mouth quavering ever so slightly. "We'll be in hiding for who knows how long."
Molly's heart went out to her fellow woman. "Lily…" she said.
"Yes?"
"Just because we're saying goodbye doesn't mean you have to be a stranger, alright? Write me as much as you like and need, I'll be here, dear," she told her, hoping that Lily would accept her offer.
Green eyes shimmered with tears as the younger smiled and nodded. "Thanks, Molly, I think I'll be taking you up on that offer."
"Good, I look forward to hearing from you soon," Molly replied warmly before continuing to clean her home as Lily was taken away by the bespectacled man Molly recognized as her husband, James.
-v-v-v-v-v-
Dear Molly,
We just went into hiding. It seems silly writing a letter to you when we've barely been here a day, but it's actually very frightening realizing that your life is in the hands of someone else and there's nothing you can do. I don't have much else to say, but I just felt the need to vent to someone besides James.
Lily
-v-v-
Dear Lily,
It probably sounds a little juvenile, but instead of focusing on how frightening it is to be in hiding, why not think instead of all the things you'll get to do once you're out of it with your baby? Like taking a walk in Diagon Alley or going on holiday to the coast. I'm sure others have been telling you to keep your chin up, but really do try. You might be surprised by what it does for your spirits.
Molly
-v-v-
Dear Molly,
I've tried to stay positive like you recommended, but it's been quite difficult as of late. James is antsy and agitated most of the time these days and, well, we had our worst row ever because of it. Sometimes, I can't even stand to look at him without wanting to scream. Do all couples go through times like these? Or just ones that can't ever get any space from one another?
Lily
P.S. Did I ever tell you that our baby is going to be a boy?
-v-v-
Dear Lily,
A boy! How lovely! Surely that's a good way to keep you and James busy? Planning his bedroom and all those lovely things. Have you thought of any names for the little one?
Now that we've covered that exciting news, let's go back to your concerns.
Trying's half the battle, dear, so take pride in that small accomplishment and continue to focus on a better future as much as you can over the things you cannot change–like your current situation. And while I cannot say I've had the exact same fights with Arthur that you have had with James, we did have our biggest row ourselves not too long ago.
I'm sure by this point you're aware of how many people we're losing left and right in the war and Dumbledore asked Arthur if he'd think about becoming an active member for missions and the like. He–thankfully–told Dumbledore he'd have to discuss it with me first. I love my husband, but he's not as much a fighter as some men I've seen and I was against it.
Just like he's been against me joining the war too.
After our argument about him becoming an active member, we didn't talk for almost two whole days. In the end, we agreed he could act as a sort of reserve member. One the Order may call upon when they're very desperate and no one else is available or capable to partake in a mission.
So far, he's been called on to be a part of a rescue mission for a muggleborn's family that was targeted because of the book their daughter is writing about the inheritance of magic in muggles and magical folk alike. Somehow, Dumbledore got tipped off on the attack and he had Arthur go help evacuate the family and lay in wait for the Death Eaters afterwards to help other Order members capture them for interrogation.
I was a mess the whole night. Not even Arthur's sister and my friend Catherine could help me calm down. But, in the end, he came home safe with little more than a few scratches from shattering glass. Since then, I have realized I'm very proud of Arthur. Not every man is so willing to help the cause like he has.
What can be taken from this, I suppose, is that even if you two are fighting, do you still feel proud to have him for a husband and love him?
Molly
P.S. I sent along a pair of baby booties I knitted for your little boy.
-v-v-
Dear Molly,
Thank you for the booties! They're adorable! We don't have any names yet, but I'm quite partial to Hank or Jerry. James wants a junior, but I bet I can persuade him away from it. I might be able to get him to settle on a different name, I think, if I tell him James can be the baby's middle name.
I've also thought about what you said about feeling proud and loving James still, despite everything. I do love him. So much so that it hurts writing this as I know he's sitting in the living room getting pissed because he's so scared of what's going to happen to our son and us if You-know-Who isn't taken care of soon. I would try and sit with him now, too, but he'd only become more upset and accuse me of patronizing him and pick a fight with me by saying I don't understand what he's going through.
Personally, I bet we're thinking much along the same line, but how do you convince a man of that when he just wants to brood all alone and pretend it's him alone against the world?
It does make me feel better, though, knowing that he feels so strongly about our baby and me. I know not everyone's husband does. Like for my sister, I doubt her husband is nearly so loving, the first time I met him, he looked me up and down with my sister right in the room! It was awful and I hate it, but I bet he must do the same to other women as well. I write my sister quite a bit, but she doesn't write back. Well, that's not quite true. She does, just not very often.
Sometimes I wonder if magic is really all that broke my sister and I apart. She has always hated that I'm a witch, but I've been trying for years to make sure she knows I love her, and that it doesn't matter to me that she's a muggle.
It doesn't work, though. Petunia still hates me and I'm sure she'll hate my son too just because he's a wizard and her baby won't be (she's pregnant too, I found out not long ago, what are the odds)! Sometimes I just don't know what to do. I haven't the slightest idea how to prove to her how much I love her and want to talk to her like we used to when we were girls.
Thank you again, Molly, for writing me. It really helps having another woman who cares to talk to.
Lily
-v-v-
Dear Lily,
I'm happy to hear you like the booties! If you need anything else, just let me know. I'm quite good at knitting and would be happy to make you anything else you might want. And Hank or Jerry, hm? Those are lovely names. I remember when I was young I was quite fond of Bill or Percy for a boy, if I ever had one.
As for James and you, I'm very relieved to hear you know you love him. Sometimes, I've seen young women get confused after they marry and realize they didn't love their husband or their husband didn't love them like they thought they did. I fear that this may be the case for your sister's husband and that's very unfortunate for her. I hope she has a friend to talk to if she doesn't want to talk with you.
Does she know you're in hiding?
I'm also sad to hear that you and she don't get along as well as you want to. Are you sure it's the muggle and witch issue that has caused the rift?
Or is there a possibility that there is more to it? I know from talking with some other muggleborns that their parents became extremely fascinated in the magical world after they learned their child was to be a part of it. So much so for one wizard, his little brother told him that he wanted his brother to go away forever so his mum and dad would stop talking about him all the time.
Either way, I do sympathize with you, Lily. It's not exactly the same, but my parents and I have not gotten along well at all for quite some time. They think I was wrong to have married Arthur, because I cannot have children and he had expressed an interest in having some to my parents. With how things are going, I don't imagine I'll be there at their death beds. It's quite unfortunate, I'd say, because I was very close with my father when I was a little girl.
It's no trouble, dear, I enjoy hearing from you just as much!
Molly
-v-v-
Dear Molly,
I have wonderful, wonderful news! The baby kicked today! Not just once, either, he kicked three times in a row! I wish you could have seen James's face when I told him. His smile was so beautiful. In fact, it was quite possibly the most beautiful thing that I've seen since we've gone into hiding.
And Percy? I think it's a handsome name, very smart. Thank you for the offer, I might take you up on it someday, but what I'd like best, I think, if you could send me instructions and such so I could learn how? I need a hobby to keep me busy. I can only read so much and walk around my house so many times before my mind goes numb from boredom.
Petunia does know I'm in hiding, I don't know what she thinks about it, though. She hasn't said anything about it in the few letters I have from her.
I never considered that a possibility for a reason for her to be so awful. I always just assumed it was that she just hated me and magic. But you might be right about their being more to it. I think she was very jealous at first, she even sent a letter to Dumbledore, asking about going to Hogwarts once. She probably did want to be a witch like me, but when she wasn't…I think that was actually when she turned so cruel. Before that, yes, she could get annoyed when I did strange things, but I always knew that she was my best friend and I was hers.
My parents were very proud of me being a witch too, I realize in retrospect. I can't say what they did while I was off at school, of course, but Petunia always did seem especially bitter the first week or two after I'd come home for Hogwarts. I have to wonder if it was because of how they acted with me home again or because they'd become so excited for my return.
I want to write her and make things right, but I don't feel she'd want to. She's always been excellent at holding onto a grudge.
As for your parents, I'm sorry they're like that. I can't imagine what it must be like to have your parents disapprove of you marrying the person you love just because he wants children and you can't give him any. Have two ever considered adoption? I'm sure you have more than enough references at this point who would gush about how wonderful a mother you would be!
Lily
-v-v-
Dear Lily,
First, I'd like to apologize. I haven't written in almost two months. Arthur and I recently moved to a new home and hardly a week after settling in we were asked to take up the care of several siblings after their parents went missing. The youngest was just barely four months old at the time! It really was a shame that both the mother and father were only children and that their grandparents had passed some time ago. The children were scared of what would happen to them the whole time they stayed with Arthur and I before we found their parents. The oldest one, hardly even ten, kept asking if the Order found his parents dead, would he and his siblings have to go to an orphanage.
I promised them they would stay right where they were now, with me and Arthur. I'd never let a child go to some place so loveless if I could help it.
And just so you know, we did find the parents last week. The father's blind due to a curse and the mother weak thanks to their long imprisonment, but now they're home safe with their children and I've been checking in on them every day to make sure things are going alright.
I'm very happy to hear the baby kicked! That must be such a wonderful feeling. I hope you and James have come to a decision on the baby's name? You must be getting quite close to your due date now, it's nearly the end of July!
About your sister, you should write her, even if she doesn't reply or ridicules you. Maybe all she needs is for you to offer a hand to bury the hatchet. If you don't try at all, you'll never know. Since I don't know how it will go, I will apologize now if it fails in advance.
Arthur and I have discussed adoption, we just aren't sure we should at the moment. There are children who need us all the time as it is, adopting one would mean we'd have to shift our attention to them as to bond properly. In the process, we would leave all those young ones who come through our home now without a safe place to be when their parents are gone on raids, missing, or when they are between family.
If everything goes smoothly, Arthur and I hope to adopt a war orphan or two when it's over. It feels like the right thing to do.
Molly
-v-v-
Dear Molly,
It's been a while, hasn't it?
I'm happy to hear those children are back with their parents and I'm glad you're checking up on them. One baby is difficult enough, I can't imagine what it must be like trying to recover from imprisonment while caring for a baby and older children at the same time. So, if your letters continue to lag, I will not blame you. There are more important things than writing a woman in hiding.
I trust you got the birth announcement for Harry. I have to say, I never thought a baby could be so time-consuming! Even when he's sleeping all I want to do is stare at him. James like to sit with me too, sometimes. It's nice. This is the most at peace we've been since we went into hiding, I think.
That doesn't mean we aren't constantly afraid, of course, but it's easier to let it slip from your mind when we have Harry to focus on. I love him so much, Molly. He's so beautiful. Just the other day I got him to laugh for me when I tickled his little toes, it was such a blissful sound!
Also, thank you for the sweaters, James barely takes his off!
I sent an announcement to my sister about Harry, too, but I haven't heard back or anything. I'm afraid she just threw it out (as she's probably done with all my other letters). I keep wondering if I shouldn't write something down about making sure Harry doesn't go to her if anything happens to James and I. Her son already looks like a little bruiser from what I've seen from his birth announcement and I'm sure he'll have his father's temperament–which will not bode well for Harry if they meet.
It's probably awfully silly, but I wish you were my sister instead. We just barely known each other a year, but I feel like you know more about me than my own sister. If I had to choose anyone for Harry to go to, it'd be you and Arthur after Sirius.
Actually, I'd put you before Sirius, as he's a bit too reckless for my tastes, but James would no doubt fight me tooth and nail on the issue. He thinks no one would love our son more. He might be right, of course, Sirius is at his gentlest with Harry. At the very least, it'd make him mature, if he had to care for Harry.
Anyway, I'm betting we've both been very busy as of late, but I hope I'll hear from you soon!
Lily
-v-v-
Dear Lily,
Merlin, time flies doesn't it? I can't believe it's taken me this long to get back to you! Christmas is next week and you wrote me at the end of November! How are you Lily? How is James and little Harry? I'm sure he must have accomplished so much by now!
I remember when Wilber was a baby, it was while Arthur and I were watching him that he took his first steps! His mother was a bit upset about that, but we made up for it by getting the tyke to walk her way when she came to pick him up.
It's good hearing the sweaters aren't going to waste at your home! My older nephews, Robert and Horton don't wear theirs too much as they think they're "dorky". But, I suppose they are getting to be teenagers and think most things connected to family are. At least Wilber enjoys it still. Some days, I hear, it's all he wants to wear in the winter.
I'm quite touched you'd give me your son to raise over his godfather and feel so close to me. I suppose trying to reach out to Petunia did not go well, then?
Do you have any special plans for Harry's first Christmas? I know you can't get a tree, but maybe you'll be passing down some family traditions? I know that I've treated Arthur's nephews to some Prewett traditions–like making our own garland for the Christmas tree and making a batch of gingerbread men for Santa.
Surely, as you're busy (and quite possible more than me!), I don't expect to hear from you right away, but still I hope we'll get a Christmas card as I'm attaching one to the letter for you.
Molly
-v-v-
Dear Molly,
Thanks for the Christmas Card, Molly. You, Arthur and your brothers looked very jolly. I trust you got ours.
I can't believe how quickly time goes here, either. I remember before Harry was born, it was so slow! A day felt like a week in hiding. But, now, it seems like no time at all. In fact, James and I have been discussing who's name Harry will be saying first. He thinks it'll be Dada, of course, but I think my little boy will be saying Mumma first. After all, I talk back to him much more than James does when Harry gets in a cooing mood!
As for Petunia, it's hard to say, she sent us a Christmas card with her husband and son along with a rather ugly vase. But, I suppose, it counts as a good sign if she's sending me a gift. Merlin knows I didn't get one last year!
For Christmas Eve, Sirius and Remus and Peter all stopped by. It was quite nice, we had a ham and they sang Christmas carols for Harry and I. It was quite the show! Of course, everything with them is a drama or comedy, but it's yet to get old. Especially with Harry, who's not used to their antics yet. Before we went to bed, I had Harry help me put out cookies and milk for Santa. He's still too little to be of much help, but I had him put down a carrot for the Reindeers on the coffee table. I'm glad I washed it before I let him have it, because the instant I gave it to him, he put it in his mouth!
I can't say he liked it too much. His expression was adorable, though.
Tomorrow's New Year's Day, so, happy 1981, Molly and I hope to get a letter from you again soon!
Lily
-v-v-v-v-v-
Sitting side by side, heads bent close as they decorated cookies for dinner, Molly found herself taking the sprinkle holder from her young nephew when she saw him dumping them on an unfrosted biscuit.
Putting on a smile when the boy gave her a confused look, she took a bit of frosting on her finger and wiped it on his nose. "No, no, dear! Frosting then sprinkles!" Molly told Wilber with a laugh.
The boy grinned goofily as he reached up to clean the frosting from his nose. "Sorry, Aunt Molly!" he apologized. "The sprinkles are my favorite!"
Still grinning, Molly looked to and fro with exaggeration before whispering, "They're mine too! If only I could put them on more than just biscuits!"
The boy put his hands to his mouth and giggled. "Even peas, Aunt Molly?" he asked.
"Ye-" but she cut herself short when she saw her Floo flare to life with a call. Getting up, she wiped her hands on her apron and approached with a mix of trepidation and curiosity.
When she recognized the person calling as fellow Order member, Dorcas Meadow, she smiled. "Well, hullo there, Dorcas! It's been a while? How are you, dear? You really must come over soon for dinner it's been so long!" she chattered.
The woman, however, did not smile back. Instead, she just frowned. "Molly? Would it be okay with you if I came through you Floo? I have some news I want to share with you and I… I think this is something I should tell you in person," Dorcas Meadows told her, brow dimpled with pain.
Cheer abandoning her, Molly knew exactly what the woman was going to tell her. Someone was dead or gravely injured. Someone she cared for. "Is it one of my brothers?" she asked. "Did Fabian or Gideon-"
"Both. Both of them died," she blurted. "I'm sorry."
"I–no, no need to apologize. Thank you for telling me," Molly whispered as she turned her back to Dorcas. Tears already gathered in her eyes as her heart constricted painfully, Molly barely noticed little Wilber pass right by her. She hardly even registered the too young child taking charge of things and telling Dorcas goodbye before she felt his young arms wrap around her waist.
"It's okay to cry, Aunt Molly," he said in a whisper. "Mummy says so."
Hugging the little boy close, Molly sobbed gratefully into his soft hair. "Oh, Wilber!" she whimpered. "The boys! The boys!"
"It's okay, Aunt Molly. It's okay," he soothed.
And fifteen minutes later, when Arthur came home, after being notified himself about his brother-in-laws deaths, he found a wobbly smile stretching across his lips.
He should have known that sweet little Wilber would have known just what to do to comfort Molly until he could get home. "Molly? Wilber?" he called gently.
Boy in her arms, Molly turned. "Arthur!" she wailed, eyes desperate and so very broken.
Not wasting a moment, the man swept forward and hugged his wife hard. Things, once again, had been turned on their heads. But he knew, just like every time before, they would find a way to grow stronger from this.
-v-v-v-v-v-
Dear Lily,
I'm sure you've heard by now, but Fabian and Gideon are dead. I had to help plan the funeral with my parents. It had to be the worst time in all my life trying to help pick out their caskets, gravestones, and planning their eulogies. My parents wouldn't listen to me and thought they knew more about the two even though they had all but stopped seeing them after they finished Hogwarts.
If I didn't have Arthur on my side, I don't know what I'd have done. My mum listened to him a little more than she did me, but my father would not speak to either of us. The funeral, though, Lily. You should have seen all the people that came. Gideon's girlfriend sat with us and even got up to give a speech about him and Fabian. It was so lovely and did more to show them for the men they were than I ever could have if I'd tried to do the same.
I wish Gideon had gotten to propose to her like he'd been planning to, I would have adored her for a sister-in-law.
Lily, I don't know when I'll be writing back next, but, please, do not think I'm abandoning you. I just need some time. Even more time than I've already taken at this point. My brothers were the dearest family I had and now they are gone.
Molly
-v-v-
Dear Molly,
I have heard about Fabian and Gideon. I don't begrudge you for wanting time to process it, either. I've lost a great many friends, Sabrina, Marlene, and Edgar. To add your brothers to that list hurts much more than I like to dwell on.
Seeing as it's summer, now, I hope your nephews are helping you and Arthur through this hard time. The oldest one, he must be nearly fourteen now? I'm sure they knew Fabian and Gideon just as well you did. From what I understand, having family close makes the pain easier to handle. It does for me, at least. I can't tell you how many dark moods Harry has swayed me away from. When he isn't the one causing them, anyway.
Him and James accidentally broke the vase Petunia gave me for Christmas. I know it was something we could easily fix, but it still bothered me quite a bit. I couldn't even say if I wanted it fixed at that point. It felt like a metaphor for our relationship, ugly and fragile. I almost wanted it to stay shattered, just so I could use it as an excuse to break my relationship with Petunia. In the end, James convinced me to fix it. I'm not sure I'm glad for it yet, but I look at the pictures of Petunia I have, the two I have of her son and I wish so badly for him to have what his mother and I don't with Harry.
Unfortunately, I don't see that happening, but if James and I ever have another child, they'll be best friends with Harry if it's the last thing I do. I won't see what happened between me and my sister repeated. I won't!
Harry's crying in the other room and James is busy getting some much needed sleep, I'll have to leave this letter off here. I hope the next time I hear from you we'll have something happier to share.
Lily
-v-v-
Dear Lily,
Here we are and it's mid-October, Horton and Robert are both at Hogwarts, Wilber has the chicken pox and Viola has announced she's pregnant! It's the happiest news we've had in months, we're all so excited for the baby. It looks like it'll be another little boy and Viola has expressed an interest in naming her son after her Septimus.
Arthur has gone on a raid this past week, Benjy Fenwick, as atrocious as it sounds, was blown to pieces on the mission. While I'm sad that he has died, who I really care about is his children. The daughter is Hogwarts age, but the son's little more than a toddler at this point. I worry for Benjy's son, he's so young and his grandfather is half-blind. I just can't see that being a good combination for either of them. I sent the daughter, Mimi, a letter to let her know, as I promised her over a year ago, my home is her home if she wants to come here or if her little brother does. I haven't heard back from her, but I hope at least she believes me and will come to me if she needs me.
I'm relieved to hear James talked you out of leaving the vase broken. Even the most ugly things can become beautiful, Lily. Family is precious as well. Take it from me, dear. I know how awful it is to be so far estranged from family that you have little communication and no feeling besides contempt and distaste for them. I hate to think of you reaching that point of feeling with your sister, Lily. There's no coming back from that.
Seeing as I don't know when next I'll hear from you, I'll wish you a happy Halloween now, and I have attached a little crochet pumpkin hat for Harry to wear for the occasion!
Molly
-v-v-v-v-v-
Happily humming along to the wireless as a bit of early day's sunlight streamed in from the window, Molly sighed in contentment. This was the kind of morning she lived for, the kind where the sun was bright and welcoming, her husband was reading the paper in the next room and a little boy was sleeping in one of the spare bedrooms upstairs, which made for a perfect excuse to make smiley pancakes.
Smiling to herself, Molly realized this was the most at peace she'd felt since her brothers' deaths in August. It seemed she was finally starting to move past the terrible event and maybe, if she were ever so lucky, life would take on a taste of the normality that had been missing from it for some time.
Pouring the batter onto the skillet, Molly turned to reach for the chocolate chips when her fireplace came flaring to life with a call. The woman turned away fully from her cookingand answered it with a grin when she saw Dumbledore's familiar face. "Hello there! What has brought you calling this morning?" she asked.
His blue eyes lightless, the old man said gravely, "Molly, we have some bad news."
I'm crossing my fingers so hard right now that the next chapter will be the end to this story. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite happy as I write this and like the story, it's just taking up much more of my writing time than I want it to.
Thanks to, Ziva10, Son of Whitebeard, Nightmare Prince, Tie-dyed-julia and Lamia of the Dark I appreciate it! The reviews were great :)
Thank you so much for reading and please review!
Also, why not check out a couple of my other stories if you have a few minutes?
At the moment, I'm working on a couple stories - you might even recall one of them as I mentioned it just last chapter! Anyway, here they are with their summaries:
The Kidnapping of Lucius Malfoy - "It's 1968 and trouble's brewing on the horizon. The squibs are starting to demand their rights, Nobby Leach has just stepped down due to a sudden illness and some folks are starting to wonder if a group of elitists aren't responsible for the latter...In fact, a few are more than certain that one wizard in particular is responsible and they're going to make him pay for his part."
and
Bygone - "Freddie Weasley's always known there was a risk involved in interrupting his dad in his workshop. This time, though, he might pay a higher price than he ever thought possible."
EDITED: 2/12/16