A/N: I really hope anyone who reads this story doesn't care about the quality of the writing. This is basically just my "crazy random" thing. But I'm actually going to develop a plot soon. And there's some extreme OOCness, and some Ron-bashing, because I personally don't like him too much. If you don't like it, flame me, get it out of your system, and then go read something else. Just keep in mind that this is a parody.
Disclaimer: If I owned, everyone would be dead. 'Nuff said.
No one would've noticed it if they hadn't looked closely, but inside the dense, thick woods, a small structure had appeared. It seemed too small for a family of squirrels to fit in, let alone a large group of wizards. But indeed a group of wizards were housed there, and they didn't seem to think that anyone would be nearby.
Alice and Jasper had detected their voices with their super-awesome-vampire-hearing, and had immediately crept forward to investigate. They made no sound, of course. Minus several cracking twigs, quite a few leaves ruffled, and once, an extremely loud commotion in which Jasper had run straight into a tree, and Alice into him. But those were minor details, of course.
"Now, let's see-ouch, get off my foot, Ron! This morning, we were in the Great Hall at Hogwarts…"
"Lovely sausages," a male voice interjected.
"And now, we're, uh, here." There was a pause. "Anyone know where this actually is?"
Another pause.
"Uh, one of the sparkly people said something about, uh, silverware. Forks, or something."
Yet another pause.
"Anyone know of any place called Forks?" the girl said.
"I thought you were the smart one, Hermione."
"I dunno, maybe I never paid attention to the really, really small insignificant parts of the world?"
"How'd you know this place is small and insignificant?"
"Because I said so."
Alice snorted.
"Anyways, if it was significant, I'd have heard of it."
There was a snigger. "Well, guess what? I heard of Forks before. In fact, I ate my breakfast with it!
Alice mentally added "stupid" to her list of adjectives for this unusual group of sentient beings.
"Ha-ha, very funny."
"I know, right?"
"Just shut up."
Back at the Cullen house, Edward was still struggling with the behemoth machine.
"Hey!" Esme yelled to him. "Try smashing the weird diggy-part so it won't destroy anything!"
That had no effect.
"Try the wheels!"
Still, nothing happened.
"Um, Carlisle, what powers the bulldozer?"
"Try the engine," he said helpfully.
The bulldozer spluttered to a halt.
Edward jumped down, and Bella immediately ran to him.
"Ohmigosh, I thought that you were gonna die there!" (sob sob)
Then, the bulldozer exploded.