Special thanks to lum-chan of lum-chan(.)com
=== Cam is outside the editing room. "Well, Ataru and Lum left on their one week get away this morning. Shutaro, Megane, and the other guys are extremely angry. I'm actually angry too; I wanted to go with them so I can get footage from their trip," Cam explains. "Unfortunately the priority is footage in Tomobiki but there was supposed to be new camera guys coming in a few days ago to help out and they have yet to--" Cam starts. "Hola, amigo!" a man calls as he walks in. He is Mexican and next to him is an American man about the same age. "What? Who are you two?" Cam asks. "I'm Carlos," the Mexican man replies. "And I'm… standing next to him!" the other man replies. "We're the new camera guys that are supposed to be helping out for the show," Carlos explains. "WHAT? WHERE WERE YOU 3 DAYS AGO?" Cam yells. He falls to his knees. "If you had gotten here just a few hours early, I could be on that plane with Ataru and Lum getting the best footage this show will ever have!" Cam wines. "Psst… I think the new guy is upset…" the second man says to Carlos. "I know! People of Paris…" Cam says to the camera. "Get out your video cameras… if you see an abnormally perverted 17 year old male and/or a flying teen girl with horns and green hair, and get good footage of them, you will be eligible to win a prize courtesy of the Urusei Yatsura Eternal Destiny Company. Send your videos to--" Cam is cut off. ===
Hen to hen o atsumete
motto hen ni shimashoo.
Hen na hen na uchuu wa
taihen da! da! da!
Suki na no wa anata hitori yo.
Itsudatte daite ii no ni.
Aa achikochi ni baramaite
watashi o nayamaseru wa.
Koi wa itsumo futari no mono.
Yume wa hitotsu Love me more.
Soo yo koi wa futari no mono.
Owari no nai Love me more.
~Classroom—Cam~
It is early in the morning, class has recently started. Onsen-Mark is teaching the class as always. Lum and Ataru's desks are empty.
=== "They didn't tell us about their little 'vacation' until yesterday at the end of the day," Shinobu explains. "Lum clearly wanted to make sure no one bothered them on their week off. She told us that if she saw anyone in Paris she would give that person a personal lynching. This seemed to be mostly directed at Mendou since he is the only one who has the money to actually go to Paris on such short notice. He went anyway, actually… he left last night, and they would have left a few hours ago… We're expecting him back shortly," she continues. ===
Onsen-Mark takes out a book. "Everyone turn to page 45…" he says. Upon opening his book, he finds that all the pages have been ripped out. Onsen-Mark begins to anger. "Who did this…" he asks. Perm is trying to cover a smile. "I need to know who tore out the pages of my book… or I am going to lose…" Onsen-Mark kicks his entire desk over. "MY MIND!" he yells. At this time Perm has stopped smile and has begun reading his book.
=== "Since they told us, yesterday, that they'd be gone for a week, me, Megane, and the rest of the Storm Troopers realized that the level of mischief and randomness would decrease drastically. So… we started thinking of ways we could balance the scale to avoid universal destruction… That is our 'reason' for any pranks we pull today on Onsen-Mark," Perm explains, smiling. ===
~Moroboshi House—Carlos~
Mr. and Mrs. Moroboshi are sitting peacefully at the table. Mr. Moroboshi is reading the newspaper while Mrs. Moroboshi nits. "It's been so long since we've gotten to be by ourselves," Mrs. Moroboshi says, smiling. "It's so quiet without them here…" Mr. Moroboshi comments. "Indeed…" Cherry says, eating a bowl of soap at the table. A randomness explosion occurs. "When did you get here?" Mrs. Moroboshi yells. "I thought that because those two were gone you would have so much food left over so I decided to help you by getting rid of some of it," Cherry explains. "GET OUT!" Mrs. Moroboshi yells.
~Nurses Room—Andy~
=== Sakura is sitting quietly at her desk. "Is there something you want?" she asks. Silence goes on for a short while. "Hello… are you going to reply?" she asks. Again, silence for a short while. "Just leave…" she says. ===
~Nurses Room—Cam~
=== Much much later, she is tending to the wounds of someone, who is lying on a bed. The boy seems to have been electrocuted "Yeah, your new friend seems to be pretty dull," she explains. The boy is screaming in pain as she tends his wounds. "I don't know what his problem is but he basically spent the entire time just sitting there not saying a word and barely moving. When I told him to leave he turned off his equipment and then asked me why he had to sit there and not say anything and film me do nothing… I think you should let me do a check-up on him later…" Sakura suggested. ===
~Class Room—Andy~
The following is a previous scene. Without Lum and Ataru in class, the room is very quiet. Onsen-Mark looks very happy. The door opens and Mendou slowly walks through the door, wounded everywhere. All the girls gasp. "Mendou! What happened to you?" Shinobu asks. "Yeah, I thought you were gonna go spy on Miss Lum and Ataru," Megane says. "Miss Lum… wishes to be… left alone…" Mendou replies before fainting. Everyone is silent for a while. "Maybe we should take him to Nurse Sakura…" Chibi finally says.
Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da!
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Tonogata Gomen Asobase.
~Class Room—Cam~
Mendou, after being treated and restored to health, walks back in to the class room. "I have an announcement to make…" he starts. "Due to the fact that Miss Lum and Moroboshi are not with us anymore I think that it would be in our best interest to choose to people to be 'substitutes' until they return," Mendou explains. "Now listen here!" Onsen-Mark starts but is knocked out by the four Storm Troopers using mallets before he can finish his reply. "Interesting idea… who did you have in mind?" Megane asks. "Well since I was the one who came up with this idea I thought it would be best if I took Moroboshi's place. All those in favor?" Mendou asks. All the female students cheer in agreement. "Just wait a minute! Don't you think we should get a say in this?" Megane protests. "Ah, but it will be up to you to decide who will be my Miss Lum," Mendou explains. He gets close to Megane and begins to whisper. "We can all have our chance at playing this role. I'll take it today, there's no school tomorrow so it will go to no one, and then we'll decide who can do it on Monday…" he whispers. Megane begins to grin.
=== "Today is Friday. But… Mendou thinks it is Saturday, and in Japan we have school on Saturdays. So… yeah, I feel like chasing this opportunity," Megane explains. ===
"Alright then…" Megane agrees. "Excellent… Now we just have to decide on my Miss Lum," Mendou reminds. The female students begin to scream and fight over the role. Suddenly, footsteps echo from the hallways. Everyone stops making noise to listen to the footsteps. The door to the class room opens. "I will play that role!" Cherry calls, dressed in a Lum costume. The class is hit by a randomness explosion. "Like I was saying…" Mendou begins, after getting up. "We need to choose a FEMALE to take the role of Miss Lum…" Mendou explains. Suddenly, footsteps begin to echo again from the hallways. Everyone listens to the footsteps and the door opens. "Excuse me, is this by chance Furinkan High?" Ryoga asks. Another randomness explosion occurs.
~Outside the school—Andy~
The sky is bright blue and the clouds are mild. It is sunny and there is absolutely no one around.
~Ataru's Room—Carlos~
=== "The students at school are figuring out replacements for Lum and the idiot?" Ten asks, floating over the center table. "Since they left, I get this room all to myself," Ten says, smiling. "I'm in a good mood today, so I'm going to go help them like the good boy I am," Ten explains, still smiling. ===
~Class Room—Andy~
Onsen-Mark has been tied up and set behind his desk while Mendou takes charge. "Alright everyone, we have narrowed it down to our top three possible Miss Lum substitutes for this week. They are; Miss Shinobu, Miss Ryuu, and Miss Ran," Mendou explains. "We will make the final vote now…" Megane adds. "Hmm? Do you hear that, Megane?" Kakugari asks. A faint whistling noise slowly increases in volume. The windows suddenly shatter and through them comes Benten on her bike. "Hi, am I late?" she asks. "Late?" Perm quotes. "I LOVE THE SEA!!!" Mr. Fujinami calls as he rides into the classroom on a wave. This wave suddenly freezes, causing him to fly off and Oyuki appears. "Pardon me…" she says. "What is going on here???" Mendou calls. Ten flies in through the window, slowly. "I heard you were looking for replacements so I gathered as many people as I could find and brought them here!" Ten explains, smiling proudly. "WHAT?" everyone yells. Ryoko, riding on a toy horse carried by two Kuroko, enters. "Big Brother, I came for your little contest and I even picked out who can take the place of Mr. Moroboshi and be by my side," she explains as a third Kuroko pulls in a tied up Tobimaro. "Let me go! I never agreed to this!" he calls. Ran is feeding Rei food in his normal form. "AHHH! A MAN!!!" Asuka calls as she runs past them, knocking them away and any other man she happened to run into as she runs around the room, still screaming. Kurama arrives, with some of her crows. "Surely there's at least one man here that fits the Princess's tastes," one of the crows says. Sugar, Pepper, and Ginger have grabbed on to Benten's chain and are trying to steal it from her. Benten has a hold of the chain and is pulling it back. She pulls out a bazooka and fires it on the three girls. "Big Brother!" Asuka calls as she crushes Tobimaro in her arms. In all the mess, Perm and Megane watch horrified. "Hey, Megane…" Perm starts. "Yeah?" Megane asks. "I don't think we'll have to worry about tearing a rift in the universal dimension…" Perm states. "No… we do… just for different reasons now…" Megane replies. He slowly falls to the floor unconscious.
=== "Wow… and I wanted to go to Paris with Lum and Ataru…" Cam says. Cam, Carlos, and Andy are in the editing room while Zack sits at the computer as always. "Anyways, today was a very productive day. Carlos you were very helpful. Andy… you could use some improvement…" Cam explains. "Guys, I know you are going to think I'm crazy when I say this but…" Andy starts. "I think most of those people we saw were from another planet! They're aliens!" Andy finishes. Carlos and Cam are silent. "Umm… yeah, Andy, we already knew that Ran, Benten, Oyuki, Rei, etc were aliens…" Cam replies. "What? No I was talking about Mendou and Megane," Andy adds. "Oh geez… Andy, shut up. Zack, blow up the computer. I'm going to Paris…" Cam says as he walks out of the room. "Adios," Carlos says as he leaves. Andy looks at Zack, who is still on the computer. "Hi…" he says. "I'm busy…" Zack replies. "You sound like an adult… but you're little like a kid… Oh! Are you Detective Conan?" Andy asks. "Get out," Zack replies. ===
Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki.
Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru.
Suki na no wa anata hitori yo.
Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo.
Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!
Watashi ga dare yori ichiban...
Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero."
Yozora ni step "Ame Usted."
Sugu yoake ga kuru.
Ai ga kiete yuku
Sugu hitori ni naru.
Tada sore ga kowai yo.
It's not just my imagination...
Filling me with anticipation...
Come on, give in to the temptation...
'Cuz I'm the one you really need!
Hen to hen o atsumete
motto hen ni shimashoo.
Hen na hen na uchuu wa
Taihen… taihen… taihen…
DA! DA! DA!
BLOOPERS!!!
Cam is filming in the class room when Andy walks in. "Hi Cam!" Andy calls. "Damnit… Andy, you're not allowed to talk while we're filming!" Cam yells. "But I'm not filming…" Andy replies. "When ANY of us are filming, Andy," Cam explains. "Wait… why aren't you filming?" Cam asks. "The person I was supposed to follow wasn't doing anything so I left…" Andy replies.
Andy is filming the class room, turning, Cam is seen with his camera. He looks at Andy. "Damnit Andy! You can't let me be in the shot! Stop filming me! Turn your camera!" Cam yells.
Cam is filming and Andy walks into view with his camera. "Damnit Andy!" Cam yells. "That's it… I'm leaving, you can film here, and I'll go somewhere else…" Cam says.
Cam is filming Sakura while she treats Mendou. Andy walks in again. "Andy! We've been through this! You can't step in front of the other cameras!" Cam explains. "I wanted to see what happened to the barbequed guy…" Andy says. "Okay… here's what we'll do… You go outside, go out to the yards, and film from there. You can film the sky," Cam explains. "I'd like that…" Andy replies, smiling.
Andy is filming the sky. Suddenly he notices a bunch of people heading towards the school. "Hey! There are people! I… should film them! I could go down there… get some footage… and then everyone will love me! Especially Camera!" Andy declares.