A/N: Thanks everyone for all the reviews, follows, and favourites! I apologise if the story is still confusing after this chapter. More clarity will come up in each chapter that's posted. It'll all make sense eventually.

Again, I'd like to thank you all for the feedback! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Thoughts were coming at him like a swarm. Memories resurfacing faster than he could count, faster than he could focus. They were snowflakes falling in their unending army, demanding to be noticed, but he couldn't do so. Everything was locked onto him, and despite being able to attach to one memory in every few hundred that zipped through his mind and ride it until it fizzled like a falling star, he couldn't decipher the mess.

His past was an amalgamation. Deformed by an outside force. Indeterminate due to the tampering of an untrained man's memory wiping abilities. He was the antithesis and crux of a blank slate.

These facts, accompanied with the incessant presence of memories that both were and weren't his, left Ben Solo to lay his pounding head in two gripping hands, fingers clawing deep into his temples, his eyes watering. Already being rather mercurial and emotional, slight inconveniences easily brought his wrath. But now, with all these events having occurred, and all these memories being uncovered, he was a wreck. He was more than just angry. He was the union of fear, confusion, and unadulterated rage.

His fighter had landed on the lowest point on the island, on a bed of green, swaying grass, which glowed blue in the twilight sky. It shuddered indefinitely, having been left on due to the incapacitated Ben. He waited, knowing that his uncle and the girl were on that island. He knew they were there, for their combined force-sensitivities were omnipresent on this island, being magnified immensely by the power of the old jedi temple.

Still, he had no idea how he knew what island on what planet on what system they'd be located. A side effect of having a waterfall of information rain upon you without you having any time to center on any of it.

It didn't take long for the two jedis to find his TIE-fighter. Ben watched with grey eyes as the ship's hatch opened and his uncle entered it with haste.

"What are you doing here?" he asked quietly, helping the dark knight out of the ship.

"What do you mean? He's here for the First Order! He's here to kill you," cried Rey, insistence in her voice. "Don't go near him. He's a monster."

Luke shot a glance her way – not really a glare, but it held no fondness in it. She could only take it to mean "be quiet." With anyone else, she would bite back, she would defend herself, she wouldn't relent. Her words mattered, and her mind still flashed those images of being interrogated by him every night. He was a nightmare to her.

But he was also Luke's nephew.

With overwhelming reluctance, she took a step back, and let the old jedi assist his kin.

"I don't know," finally replied the deflated Ren. "I don't know why I'm here." He looked up at Luke weakly, and promptly passed out in his arms.

Luke eagerly carried his nephew over his shoulder. He made his path clear; he was going down into the temple to let the man rest.

Rey followed, her footsteps short and light. She couldn't look at Luke, for every glance up at him was met with the limp body of Kylo Ren. And every time she saw him she shivered. He was the feeling of sand biting her face whilst she rode her cruiser on Jakku. Unpleasant, unremitting, and irredeemable. He was everything she could hate in a being.

So she kept her head down, and tried to steady her racing heart with breathing.

3 in. Hold. 3 out. Hold.

It took ages to reach the other side of the island. The cool air stung her eyes as she descended the crumbling steps that led into the temple. Soon enough, they had made way into the room she had become abundantly familiar with. It was her room, she deemed.

And now that monster was sleeping in it.

She pouted, almost like a child, and slid down one wall of the room and sat. Crossed arms and snake eyes watched from across the room as Luke assisted the worn-out Knight of Ren.

"I can't believe this is happening," whispered Rey, her voice wavering. "I can't believe he found us. And I can't believe you're just letting him stay." Her words were biting, but Luke disregarded them. He had wizened enough over the years to know she meant what she said, but that she was also shaken. The teen would ease up soon.
"You remember when I said there is a lot you don't know?" he asked, placing a blanket over Ben's body.

"Yes."

"He is one thing you don't know about." Luke looked her way. Despite cryptic wording that dodged all progress and meaning, Rey took what she could, and assumed she would understand soon enough.

But for the night, she would rest. This was more than she could handle in just one day.

"I'll go sleep on the Falcon. Will you watch him?" The last word dripped with enmity, almost tangibly.

Luke nodded, continuing to watch his nephew closely. Rey examined the old jedi, and could've sworn she saw the glisten of a tear in the corner of his eye. For a moment, empathy washed over her, and she regretted her haste in condemning the Solo in front of his uncle. Regardless of his evils, Kylo Ren still had family that loved him. It wasn't up to her to be his judge.

She left the room and gave Luke a short message conveyed through the force.

I'm sorry.

Tiny footsteps left light impressions in the dirt as Rey struggled to keep up with her friend. Being fifteen meant his longer legs could take longer steps, and even though he walked at a pace that was proportional to hers, she still couldn't quite make up the difference.

"Could you slow down?" she huffed, her feet shuffling to a halt.

"I gotta get to Master Luke," he replied. "It's important. You know that my training's almost up." His head turned forward and he began walking in his long strides again.

"Wait!" she yelled, speeding up to a run. "You're so big and I can't walk that fast."

He stopped on his heels, and plopped down on the ground. She took her spot beside him.

"Thanks, Benni."

He rolled his eyes.

"This is important to me, Rey. Uncle Luke says he's got something important for me. Like, a super special jedi mission."

She nodded. "I know... I just don't want you to leave."

"So you're stalling?" he asked lightly.

"What's 'stalling'?"

"You're keeping me waiting so you can spend more time with me."

"Yeah!" she chirped. "You're my best friend. I'm gonna miss you when you finish your training, Ben."

He grinned widely, and got to his feet. She joined him.

"I'll miss you too, buddy. But, who knows, you're pretty strong, too. Maybe you'll be joining me soon."

She nodded, somewhat sated with that response. He held out his hand for her, and she took it. Then they made way for Luke again, this time walking much slower.

Rey awoke not from the bizarre dream, but from the deafening wailing of an upset wookiee. She flung out of her bed, and chased out of the Millennium Falcon wearing only her undershirt and pants – her sleeping garment.

As she made her way outside, the brisk air nipped at her many inches of exposed skin. The roaring came from a short distance up the steps. Ascending the steps in large bounds, she found the source of distress had come from a little quarrel between Luke and Chewbacca. She had entered the scene at the butt-end of it, and could hear the wookiee growl about Ben. She could only assume Luke had informed him of Ren's arrival, and now Chewie sought retribution.

"You can't do that! He's not dark anymore. He's here to help," insisted Luke.

Chewbacca shook his head furiously, and attempted to shove his way past Luke.

"No!" he shouted. This took Rey by shock, for she had never seen Luke so uneasy and angry. He could always hold himself together around her, but now he was frantic, and clearly on edge. "You don't know him like I do, furball!"

Rey snickered at the name, alerting them both. Luke's eyes went frighteningly wide when he saw her, and then he glanced right back at Chewbacca, a finger prodding his furry chest. "I mean it. Stay away from him. At least until you calm down." Without another word, he swung around and meandered up the steps to presumably go check in on Kylo Ren. Chewbacca, still seething after the encounter, stormed straight past Rey, sharing not a word, and climbed back into the Falcon.

The girl stood on the battleground, the wind helping to clear the air after all that had unfolded. As she stood she reflected on Luke's wording, bewildered by how he could say Ren wasn't dark.

"Yes he is," she mumbled, her fists clenching.

She whipped around and joined the wookiee on-board the ship, and readied herself for another day of training.

When Ben Solo awoke, he stirred slightly, coming to his surroundings slowly. He was in the temple, he assumed, for the structure was ancient and vaguely familiar to him. There was a heavy blanket atop his body, keeping his heat in, which he desperately needed. The injuries he sustained after the struggle with Snoke left him in need of recuperation yet again, and he was also notably susceptible to the cold. And there was his uncle, kneeling at his feet, awake but avoiding eye contact with Solo. He turned his head and closed his eyes, and felt the presence of Rey behind him, sitting at the third step from the bottom of the set that led down there.

He had plenty of company.

"What do you remember?" asked Luke, looking up at long last.

"I can't tell," came his hoarse reply. "I remember a lot, but I can't distinguish anything. It's all coming back too fast." The dark-haired man opened his eyes and met his master's gaze. "I remember my training. That's what's prominent in my mind. And then I remember your mission for me. Which I failed." He winced, always one to pride in his likelihood of success.

But Luke only nodded, no chagrin betrayed in his eyes. He was calm, understanding. He kept listening, keen, and forgiving.

"Snoke is injured. He'll heal soon. I don't know why it happened, but he said something to me, and suddenly..." Ben sat up in the bed, groaning as he did so. Pain was familiar and unpleasant as always to him. "Suddenly, I wasn't me, or rather, Kylo Ren, anymore. I didn't feel right. In that moment you came up and told me to finish my mission, and I remembered what to do, and I attacked Snoke." He shook his head. "But why can't I remember anything else?"

"I taught you to erase your memories when they came up," said the Skywalker. "Snoke would pick up on the light in your memories. I couldn't jeopardise the mission with you holding back your past. It would've been best if you had just forgotten it all together."

Rey spoke up. "What is this mission?"

Ben shuddered at her voice, which stung him like an open wound having salt poured upon it. There was so much regret he held for his past with her, and her being anywhere near him left his heart pounding.

"I gave him the mission to kill Snoke years ago." Luke gazed Rey's way. "When he was fifteen. He had volunteered, and I trained him on how to discern light and dark. I wanted him to truly know the difference between both sides, and use them interchangeably." Then the older man looked at his nephew again. "I can feel overwhelming dark in you, Ben. My training failed."

"As did the mission," he replied emptily. "What did you expect? A fifteen year old not to be corrupted by the dark? I trained under Snoke for a decade." He couldn't manage to look into his uncle's eyes. "I don't even have an identity anymore." It was true that the dark side in him outweighed the light. Try as he might, the memories of his past, training with Luke, having friends and knowing Rey, none of it wiped clean the residence of dark in his psyche. He had been on that side for too long, mingling with its members, becoming more akin to Snoke than to Luke. To Leia. To Han.

Suddenly, his face contorted, pain plastered across his features in a distorted mask. He whimpered feebly, and covered his face with shaking hands as he remembered what he had done.

"I killed dad," he whispered. "I killed my dad."

Luke came forward, and sat at his side, a hand on his cheek. "I know, Ben, it's okay-"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no..." The young man shook uncontrollably. "No! It's not okay!" He looked up, both anger and sorrow coalescing in his dark eyes. "I murdered my father! How is that okay?"

"Ben, you just have to-"

"I can't believe I went through with this. It's cost me so much."

Luke frowned, aware that there was nothing he could do. Still, he said, "You knew the costs. You said it was worth it. And I still believe that you think it is."

"You don't know anything, Luke." His eyes met his uncle's with nothing but animosity. "Go."

And with that, Luke resigned. With a regretful nod, he got to his feet, and left the room. As he passed Rey on the stairs, he noticed the confusion clouding her mind. Before his departure, he left her a message.

I'll tell you more later. He needs time alone.

She nodded, her eyes glued to Ren in front of her. She replied, I'll join you in a second. I need to say something.

Luke trusted Rey not to hurt him, so he left her to her plan.

With Rey and Ben now alone in the room, she stood and took Luke's place beside Ben on the floor. He refused to look at her, and she could feel him blocking his mind from her. A frown tugged at the corners of her lips.

"I remember you," she said.

"And I, you."

Brows furrowed, she leaned closer. "We were friends?"

He nodded.

"There's no way. How could you have left me on Jakku? Killed all our friends? Tortured me? If we were friends you wouldn't have done that."

His lips pursed, and she could see the tears remaining in his eyes. "I didn't remember you as a friend. I remembered you as a little girl with a lot of potential, one I would train someday."

An itch in the back of her mind, sitting there like a rock, unmoving and demanding notice, finally gave itself a voice. "Did you take away my memories on Jakku?" Cracks made their way into her voice despite her insane effort to remain stoic.

And he was quiet. He had nothing to say, which made anger bubble up her throat like magma, and she yelled, "Tell me!"

"I did," whispered Ben. Then he looked at her. "I can't tell you my motives. I don't remember why myself. And if I could go back and undo everything I did, I would. Because I am just as miserable as you are." He looked away again. "I'd like to be left alone."

She shook her head, even more angry at him than she was before. When she got to her feet, she stormed out of the room with clenched fists. Before she left, however, she stopped at the first step.

"I don't care if you don't remember. You still killed all of my friends, left me to spend fourteen years alone and fending for my life, and took Han away from me." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I bet you didn't even miss me when you left."

When she was gone, Ben sat up again, head hanging over his legs, arms holding his stomach tightly as it turned inside out with regret.

"You're wrong," he called after her. "I can remember that day when I left."

He knew she couldn't hear him, so he talked to her with the force.

I did miss you.

Her reply never came.