A/N: Fun times with Artemis and Butler.

Temporal

Chapter Six:

The Thymogenic Thesis

Butler was quiet when Artemis finished. He had interjected several times into the teen's monotone story to give his opinion or his advice or an admonishment. Now he wasn't quite sure what to say.

Artemis was hiding in his hands, trying to process the guilt and the anguish and the frustration and the newfound desire that was causing such conflict within him. When he'd told his mother "everything," he had tactfully left Holly and. . .him. . .out.

"Not what I expected, but I thought that I had given expectations up years ago."

"Apparently not," Artemis mumbled.

"Let's assume she was human for just a moment," Butler muttered. "She'd be, what, twenty-five?"

"Eh. . ." Artemis thought about it for a moment. "Can we pretend that it would be twenty?"

"Fine," Butler leaned back and crossed his arms, his eyes flicking to his "watch" and then around the street just in case. "Twenty. Not so bad. I can still rightfully call her a cradle robber, however."

Aretmis groaned.

"Obviously she couldn't withstand your wit and charm, sir."

Artemis lifted his face from his hands and glared at Butler. "You do know that I still remember your name and I will post it on that rubbish bodyguard site."

Butler shrugged. "That threat was a bit like your old self."

Artemis shuddered. "I was such a monster, Butler. I don't know how you put up with me. Thank you."

"You lost your father, Artemis. And back then. . .well he wasn't much of a father. You were raised to be who you were, in some respects."

Artemis just nodded. "I appreciate and agree with your honesty, my friend."

"If you're mature enough to admit that, then I think you are most certainly mature enough to date women more than twice your age."

Artemis blinked. "It's four times, actually." Butler gave him flat look. "Not exactly helping my case, am I?"

"Not really, no."

Artemis considered the situation again, trying to withdraw his emotions. "I will say that what I did was out of love for my mother, although vastly reprehensible, and I was aware of that at the time. I will also say that I did not encourage Holly's regard for me in any way, shape or form. Let us remind ourselves that I kidnapped her seven years ago."

Butler nodded gravely. "Duly noted."

Artemis was just warming up. "After said kidnapping I heartlessly bribed her people out of their gold, cut off her index finger, forced her to dive into freezing cold, poison-laden waters in Russia, allowed her people's secrets to be appropriated by a megalomaniac, convinced her to drain her magic to heal you, nearly got her killed in the act of saving my life at least twice, once to blue rinse, once to trolls, forced her to disobey orders and bring N°1 to Tokyo, let her die alone on the top of a volcano, lost her three years of her life, stole an eye from her, forced her to once again disobey protocol in order to save my mother, guilt-tripped her, lied to her, allowed her to be kidnapped by me again, practically poisoned her with animal fat because of my inattention, and allowed Foaly to lift certain memories that will potentially get her in vast amounts of trouble with the Council if anyone is able to piece them together."

Butler contemplated Artemis for a moment. "Seems ironic that you kidnapped her twice."

"In light of all previously mentioned incidents it seems unlikely that Captain Holly Short would have any regard for me. However, when we parted ways, I discerned that that simply wasn't so. This reaction must be thymogenic, because it is not based on logic, but on emotion. Women are tricky creatures, Butler. One cannot think enough about how their minds work, and it never seems to help."

"Sometimes it helps talking to the woman in question."

Artemis smiled. "Not yet, my friend. Let me explain. Although I will never understand how the mind of a woman works—and I have accepted this—I do believe that some of the good things I have done in the past might have influenced Holly's emotions slightly more than the vast number of negatives."

"You don't say," Butler said.

Artemis plowed on. "If this is true, I would conclude that it is within the realm of possibility that her regard will overcome this further obstacle, coupled with the fact that I saved her life. Again."

"Not nearly as many times as she's saved yours."

"True. But who's counting?"

"Eleven times, " Butler muttered.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," Butler shrugged. "You were at the bit where you had decided that Holly might still have feelings for you."

"Yes, Butler, it is within the realm of possibility, as I said."

Suddenly something became very clear. "Artemis," Butler said slowly. "Is that why we're having this meeting here today?"

"What? No, of course not. I've spent more than four years promising myself that I would begin to excel physically as well as mentally and I have never even attempted to put effort into this endeavor. I wish that to change now. You aren't always around to protect me, Butler."

"Finally, the boy understands," Butler said to the sky. He checked his watch again. "And here is my contact now."

"Butler, always a pleasure," said the man, shaking the bodyguard's hand. "I am surprised, however. If there was someone to be whipped into shape, I figured that you would be doing the whipping."

Butler's face broke into a smile as Artemis paled even beyond his normal vampiric hue.