The Smashy Amazing Race: Season Four

by Hoogiman

SEASON FOUR! Join eleven teams of two smashers on a race around the world! See Fox and Falcon, the party boys! See Marth and Squirtle, the human and turtle lover! See Zelda and Roy, the gold digger and diggee and see Luigi... ...Luigi's really insane.

6. I Speak English!

"Previously on The Smashy Amazing Race…" said Master Hand.

Shots of the teams ripping open clues appeared on the screen.

"…teams flew from Dream Land to Corneria!"

"Upon travelling to the airport, King Dedede's pranks on his partner fell out of hand!"

A special effects guy wearing a zombie costume jumped onto the front windshield, chewing on a fake human corpse.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" screamed Toon Link. "DIE! DIE! DIE!"

Toon Link grabbed his sword and stabbed the zombie.

Eight Waddle Dees fell out of the costume.

Toon Link stared in shock.

"You're such a wimp, Toon Link!" laughed King Dedede, chuckling.

"OH MY GOSH WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???" screamed Toon Link angrily.

"…resulting in a splinter in their relationship!"

"I HATE YOU!" screamed Toon Link, "THIS IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER!"

"Upon landing in Corneria City, teams had to complete a monster truck Road Block, where the competition heightened between Kirby and Wolf!"

"THIS… MEANS… WAR!!!!" screamed Kirby in his deep manly voice.

Kirby accelerated and started ramming Wolf's monster truck from the side.

"Oh, teehee Kirby! That's really cute!" laughed Wolf, "What are you, evil?"

"DIE DIE DIE" screamed Kirby, taking a crowbar and swinging it at Wolf's head.

"Wolf and Samus, Jigglypuff and Ganondorf, Kirby and Pikachu, Fox and Falcon and Toon Link and King Dedede quickly zoomed through the task…"

"Yeehaa!" screamed Wolf in his cowboy accent.

"Leaving Wario and Mr. Resetti…"

"We're going to get eliminated…" said Wario angrily, "You can't trusty this guy with anything! He can't operate a toaster by himself, let alone a gigantic truck!"

"I've operated a lotta trucks in mah life boy!" rambled Mr. Resetti, stuck in a ditch, "Look at me go boi! Look at me go! Whoopee! Hehe!"

"…and Roy and Zelda battling to survive."

"Come on, Roy! We have to beat these fat idiots!" screamed Zelda.

"In Corneria Complex, teams were equal at the last task: earning tickets from arcade games!"

"LA LA LA" screamed Ganondorf, breaking open a machine with a sledgehammer.

"…leading to a four-way footrace!"

"LA LA LA LA LA" sung Jigglypuff, running straight through the glass tables, shards of flying glass stuck in her skin.

"I can't believe it! Those idiots are risking their lives to beat us!" said Wolf angrily, hopping from table to table, overtaking Fox and Falcon.

"Yay! We're small!" cheered Kirby, weaving with Pikachu along the ground under tables and people's legs.

"But Jigglypuff and Ganondorf's complete disregard for their wellbeing…"

"THIS IS VERY FUN YES YES" said Ganondorf, jumping through the walls of glass every three metres, ascending directly up the staircase instead of around.

"GANNIE THIS HURTS" said Jigglypuff, now unrecognisable because she was a collection of blood, organs and her brain was sticking out where her ears used to be.

"…helped them land in first place!" said Master Hand.

"You are officially the stupidest people ever to win a leg in the history of this race!" said Master Hand.

"…much to Samus's frustration!"

"This is so freaking stupid!" said Samus angrily, "The only reason why we didn't win is because they were the only people stupid enough to think that running through glass and giving themselves permanent injuries is a sensible idea!"

Falcon, covered in glass, whistled.

"Meanwhile, King Dedede went to see a movie, holding up the progress of his team!"

"Shut up!" said a moviegoer, "I'm trying to watch the movie! We're not at the arcade, losers!"

"Why are you watching a movie?" said Toon Link angrily, "We're supposed to be at the arcade!"

"It's an arcade game, silly," whispered King Dedede.

"Tell the guy in my mouth who I'm trying to trick that he's in an arcade centre! I'm not shouting out!" screamed King Dedede to the back of the cinema.

"…putting them in a footrace with Wario and Mr. Resetti to avoid elimination!"

Toon Link and King Dedede were now half a flight of stairs behind Wario and Mr. Resetti.

"How do we get in front? They're too fat! Oh God! We'll lose because they're fat!" screamed Toon Link.

"The Coal Miners slipped in by just seconds… leaving Wario and Mr. Resetti eliminated!"

"Oh naaaaw!" sobbed Mr. Resetti.

"We had a lot of fun, and we had a million dollars worth of memories…" said Wario, a tear running down his cheek.

…

"Which would freaking be mine if my partner was actually someone who had the basic motor co-ordination of a three year-old!" screamed Wario angrily.

Wario choked Mr. Resetti.

"Six teams remain… who will be eliminated… next?" said Master Hand.

The Teams:

Wolf and Samus (Newly Dating)

Roy and Zelda (Engaged)

Toon Link and King Dedede (Coal Miners)

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf (Dating Twelve Days)

Fox and Falcon (Frat Boys)

Kirby and Pikachu (Best Friends)

"This is Corneria Complex, the largest shopping centre in the entire of Corneria!" said Master Hand, "And I'm here at 'The Summit', a rooftop bar on the tallest point of the centre! This bar and grill was also the fifth pit stop in a race around the world!"

"Teams arrived here for a mandatory rest period, where teams can eat, sleep and mingle with other teams!"

"Look Gannie! I'm balancing!" said Jigglypuff excitedly, balancing on a railing next to a fifty metre drop.

"SHUT UP JIGGLYPUFF" screamed Ganondorf, throwing Zelda over the ledge.

"Due to lack of production funding, this pit stop lasted for over eight months! Teams were sent back to their home towns, where Fox and Falcon attended a real university!"

Fox and Falcon

"Now we don't have to pretend we're drunk!" cheered Fox in a giddy voice.

"I had one sip and now I have a hangover!" screamed Falcon, taking a sip of light beer.

A senior wearing a dark robe over his head walked into the room, wielding a paddle.

"My dad's paying fifty thousand dollars a year for this!" cheered Fox.

He swung.

"…oww…" whimpered Fox.

The senior walked up to Falcon.

"I like it when men play… dirty…" said Falcon sexily.

He whacked Falcon.

"Is that all you can do… pretty boy?" said Falcon sexily.

The senior whacked Falcon really hard.

"OH GOD" screamed Falcon, bleeding.

"Jigglypuff and Ganondorf are currently in jail, and will be replaced with first season contestants Peach and Bowser!" said Master Hand.

Peach and Bowser

"Oh no! Looks as if I forgot to wear pantaloons or put any clothes on today!" chortled Peach.

Bowser lost his balance and toppled over, shell-first onto Peach.

"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD" screamed Peach, bleeding to death.

"Peach and Bowser will be replaced with Bowser and Luigi!" said Master Hand.

Bowser and Luigi

"Being given a second chance on the race," said Luigi, "It's really a great-"

Bowser stroked Luigi, grinning menacingly.

"…uh…" said Luigi.

Bowser stroked Luigi, grinning menacingly.

"…"

"Kirby and Pikachu singlehandedly caused the Global Financial Crisis!" said Master Hand.

Kirby and Pikachu

"How was I supposed to know that printing a couple hundred trillion dollars in fake notes was supposed to do anything else but get me lots of food?" said Kirby angrily, behind bars.

"And now that we have transitions reminiscent of the Bourne Ultimatum, we no longer have to show any of the footage in any sense of chronological order!" said Master Hand.

"Shelley and Sonic, you are the last team to arrive," said Master Hand.

"Detour!" said Master Hand, "Lose a Limb or Gain an Organ?"

"I'm… to sexy for my shirt…" said Wolf sexily.

"YOU MUST USE THE ADVERB TOO INSTEAD OF THE PREPOSITION TO FOR THIS SENTENCE TO BE GRAMATICALLY CORRECT" screamed Ganondorf, hacking Wolf's limbs off with a chainsaw.

"Jigglypuff and Ganondorf, who were the first team to arrive at 1:23 PM, will depart at 1:23 AM!" said Master Hand.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
1st to depart: 1:23 AM

"Fly to uh..." read Jigglypuff. "Uh... uh..."

"Teams must now fly to Begnion, a Beorc theocracy dedicated to the goddess Ashera. Once teams arrive in this country, the largest in its continent, teams must drive over 56 kilometres in a four-wheel drive to this camel station in the North West! Once teams arrive here, they will receive their next clue!" said Master Hand.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf stared at the clue.

"…it's a Fire Emblem location, in case you're wondering," said Master Hand on a voiceover.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf stared at the clue.

"…like, Ike-land," said Master Hand.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf stared at the clue.

"uh… you can go now," said Master Hand.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf stared at the clue.

"The tape is pre-recorded… it doesn't matter if you give it voiceovers now, the footage has already been shot, and anything you say or do won't affect the outcome," whispered a Koopa producer to Master Hand.

"That's not true! With the power of flash animation, I shall make them do whatever I want!" declared Master Hand on the voiceover.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in 1st Place

"Hey Ganondorf, I'm Jigglypuff!" said a crudely-drawn Jigglypuff, in Master Hand's falsetto voice. "And the casting of my team was definitely not a liability to the future production of this show, making the boss Master Hand fork out several hundred thousand dollars per leg for the destruction we've caused!"

"GOD DAMNIT JUST ELIMINATEE THEM ALREADY" screamed Master Hand, bashing his hand on the computer and keyboard.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in 1st Place

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf stared at the clue.

Wolf and Samus
2nd to depart: 1:24 AM

Wolf and Samus walked up to the mat.

"Are they asleep or something?" laughed Wolf, taking the clue from the producer.

Jigglypuff woke up. "No!" said Jigglypuff angrily. Jigglypuff fell asleep.

"Pretty sure they are," said Wolf.

"They're clearly not, if Jigglypuff just woke up to tell us that they're not," said Samus angrily.

"I mean, besides from that! Look! They're currently asleep!" said Wolf.

"But how are they asleep if Jigglypuff just woke up to tell us that they're not asleep?" said Samus angrily.

"And then fell asleep again!" said Wolf angrily.

Kirby and Pikachu
3rd to depart: 1:25 AM

Kirby and Pikachu walked up to the mat, seeing Wolf and Samus arguing.

"I think we can take the lead if we can get ourselves out of here," whispered Kirby to Pikachu. "…but we have to make sure that Jigglypuff and Ganondorf keep on sleeping and Wolf and Samus keep on arguing, so that we can sneak into the lead!"

"Good idea!" said Pikachu.

Wolf and Samus

"Look, they're obviously asleep!" said Samus angrily.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you all along!" said Wolf angrily.

"Stop trying to avoid the issue!" said Samus angrily, "You're just too stubborn Wolf! Too stubborn! A stubborn Wolf!"

"Don't bring my Wolfness into it!" said Wolf angrily, taking out a claw.

"How dare you call me a woman!" screamed Samus.

Kirby and Pikachu

"Okay… here's what we do!" said Kirby.

"Psst psst psst psst psst psst psst," whispered Kirby.

…

"…I don't think there was even a comprehendible English word in that sentence…" said Pikachu, "All I heard you say was psst psst psst psst," said Pikachu, annoyed.

"Fine," said Kirby angrily. "Psst psst psst, psst psst, psst psst!" whispered Kirby.

"Pretty sure you still said psst psst," said Pikachu.

"Let's do it!" said Kirby grinning evilly, "And sneak into the lead! Subtly!"

"I'm not even sure I know what you want to do," said Pikachu.

"They won't even notice that we've stolen first place from them!" laughed Kirby evilly.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf slept, Wolf and Samus arguing next to them.

Kirby ran up with an airhorn and blew it into Jigglypuff and Ganondorf's ears. Pikachu ran up with two cream pies and splutted them into Wolf and Samus's faces.

…

"SUPER SECRET PLAN TO GET US INTO FIRST PLACE!" announced Kirby and Pikachu.

Wolf and Samus glared angrily at Kirby and Pikachu.

Pikachu quickly bowed, and waddled off into a nearby taxi with his child-sized backpack.

Fox and Falcon
4th to depart: 1:26 AM

Falcon opened the clue.

"Fly to-"

Kirby ran out of the taxi with a mallet, hit Fox in the kneecaps repeatedly and broke a bottle over Falcon's head. Kirby waddled back towards the taxi.

Kirby and Pikachu

"I don't think they noticed a thing!" said Kirby, laughing evilly.

"Hooray!" cheered Pikachu.

The taxi stopped at a stop light. Wolf and Samus pulled up in the taxi next to them, glaring evilly.

"Nope… they don't suspect a thing!" said Kirby.

They continued to glare.

Wolf and Samus

"I can't believe they did this to us!" said Wolf angrily, "Let's keep on staring at them with our angry faces because that's how we display our anger, being characters in a series of well-known fighting games!"

They glared at Kirby and Pikachu angrily.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"UFIW VSJKDR XSDUVC SHB VIFB" said Jigglypuff, now deaf.

"IDSF SOFUI REUIOHNV IFDORV" said Ganondorf, now deaf.

"UEWFIU EUIFHEUI FRE EFIN ESRFION, FCEioF EO WEFHN!" joked Jigglypuff.

They chuckled heartily.

Fox and Falcon

Fox lay on the ground, clutching his broken knees. "Duuude, did something just happen?"

"The only thing I know is that…" said Falcon, scratching the portion of exposed brain from the glassing, "…that was a wild-ass party!"

"Wooooo!" screamed Fox, bleeding on the ground.

A magpie flew in and started to peck on Falcon's exposed brain.

"Hey there bird…" said Falcon, "I've also got a biiiird too," said Falcon sexily.

"Like a pet?!" said Fox cutely.

…

"I can pet you… with my bird," said Falcon sexily.

The magpie bit out the 'sexual innuendo' part of Captain Falcon's brain.

"Please sex me," said Falcon, collapsing from blood loss.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 2nd Place

"I think we're going to use this incident to our advantage," said Wolf, "If we can get everyone to hate Kirby and Pikachu, then when U-Turn season comes along they'll be the prime bait!"

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currant-ly in 3rd Place

(I actually can't think up of anything to say for them. I just really liked the currant pun.)

Roy and Zelda
5th to depart: 3:04 AM

Roy took the clue.

"Rooy, let me open it!" demanded Zelda.

Roy passed the clue to Zelda.

Zelda clumsily tried to rip open the clue.

"It won't woooork!" wailed Zelda.

"Honey, you're opening it from the wrong-"

"I can do it myself!" said Zelda angrily.

Zelda started poking the clue.

"That's not how you-"

"ROOOOOY!" wailed Zelda.

Roy

"Sometimes Zelda's a bit…" said Roy, "…intense…"

"How could you say that about me?!?!" screamed Zelda, "ROOOOOOY! You are the worst boyfriend ever! THIS IS THE ULTIMATE ACT OF BETRAYAL! HOW DAAAARE YOU! ROOOOOOOOOY! I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!"

Roy started to sob, "Zel, I didn't mean it in that way… too bad we're broken up… because now I can't…"

Roy took out his little velvet-covered box.

"I can't…" sobbed Roy.

"HAHAHAHA JUST KIDDING ROY" screamed Zelda obnoxiously loud, "YOU KNOW I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOUR MONEY"

…

"…and uh… you…" said Zelda.

"Aww," said Roy.

Zelda reached for the box in Roy's pants pocket.

"Zel!" said Roy, surprised, "Does that mean-"

"WHAT KIND OF GIRL DO YOU THINK I AM?!?!" screamed Zelda. "ROOOOOY!"

"I'm so sorry, Zel!" said Roy apologetically.

"That's okay, all is forgiven…" said Zelda.

King Dedede walked in wearing nothing but a black, revealing thong.

"Now… King Dedede and I were just going to inspect the uh…" said Zelda.

"The leak…" said King Dedede sexily, snapping the strap of his only item of clothing.

"Yes… the leak…" said Zelda, walking out of the room.

Zelda and King Dedede ran out of the room, giggling.

…

…

"What a sweetheart!" sighed Roy, smiling.

Zelda and King Dedede
At the pit stop

"Plug in that leak, you rough rough monster!" shouted Zelda.

"I'm plugging it in!" screamed King Dedede, "All of that sewage is going to be punished!"

"You're so strong! You strong, sexy bird! Now there won't be a leak in our bathroom sink!" screamed Zelda.

"It's in! It's in!" screamed King Dedede.

"Yes! Yes! The water is no longer so flooding! I'm so satisfied!" screamed Zelda.

Kirby and Pikachu

Kirby and Pikachu sat in the next room, playing cards.

"It's in! It's in!" screamed King Dedede.

"Yes! Yes!" screamed Zelda.

…

"I'm so satisfied!" screamed Zelda.

Kirby and Pikachu stared at each other, in shock.

…

"I'm doing the plumbing in a thong!" screamed King Dedede.

Kirby and Pikachu continued to stare in shock.

"I can't believe you got a royal flush!" said Pikachu angrily to Toon Link, who just took in a pile of both Kirby and Pikachu's coins.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Last to depart: 3:44 AM

"Fly to Begnion!" read Toon Link, "Once there, make your way to the Enrhein Camel Station!"

"Let's-a go!" said King Dedede, wearing a moustache.

"I swear you've made that joke before," said Toon Link angrily.

"OH YEAH?!" King Dedede took out a knife and screamed, "I SWEAR I'M GONNA TAKE THIS KNIFE AND CUT YOUR FU-"

Call station signal.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Last to depart: 3:44 AM

"Fly to Begnion!" said Toon Link angrily, sitting in a wheelchair and wearing a leg cast.

"Gee, I hope we in-jure this leg a lot!" laughed King Dedede, pointing at Toon Link's cast.

"I swear," said Toon Link angrily, "If we walk through a dark alleyway I'm going to use the bombs in my back-"

"Ate them already!" said King Dedede, licking his lips.

"I'll use my sword to-"

"Just ate it!" said King Dedede.

"My poisonous mushrooms-"

"Already did!" laughed King Dedede.

…

King Dedede's eyes went wide open, and he started to choke.

"Well… I guess that serves you right!" said Toon Link angrily.

King Dedede continued to choke.

"Who's got the upper hand now?!" laughed Toon Link.

"BLEEEEEUUUUGHHHH" screamed King Dedede, vomiting a sword onto Toon Link, which became impaled in his neck.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed Toon Link.

"Aaaaahhh…" hummed King Dedede and his barbershop quartet of Waddle Dees in successive harmony.

…

Toon Link grunted.

Corneria International Airport

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 1st Place

"We're on the first flight at 9, looks like all teams are going to be getting on," said Pikachu to the camera.

Kirby ran past, laughing evilly, holding up a roll of plastic wrap.

"Guess this means we'll all be equal again at the next flight."

Kirby dragged the candy shop owner past the camera, whose face was covered in plastic and looked… dead.
"…and what are you doing?!" screamed Pikachu.

"Candy!" cheered Kirby.

"Yaaaaaay!" cheered Kirby and Pikachu, taking candy from the man's pockets.

"All teams are now on the same flight from Corneria to Begnion!" said Master Hand.

Begnion

Several shots of a baron, desert landscape appeared on the screen. A shot of wolf-men hacking other wolf-men up with swords appeared on the screen.

1st Flight
Landed at 12:00 PM

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 1st Place

"We're in Fire Emblem land!" cheered Kirby.

"Yaaaay!" cheered Pikachu.

Pikachu picked up a strange orb out of his backpack. "Look what I got at the airport!"

"What is it?!" said Kirby excitedly.

Pikachu threw the orb at a window near the airport. It exploded into flames, incinerating several people and setting the building on fire.

Kirby and Pikachu stared.

"Wicked cool!" cheered Pikachu.

"Super fabulartabular awesome!" screamed Kirby, like in a kids' toy ad.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 2nd Place

"Wow, this place is sweet!" said Samus excitedly, "There's like animal-human things everywhere!"

"What about the last city we were in?" said Wolf, "Everyone there was some kind of animal."

"Look, there's a wolf!" said Samus, pointing at an untransformed laguz, who resembled a human but with several points of furriness, including a tail. "Isn't that so cuuute?"

Wolf looked at Samus, annoyed.
"You should tell her that she's cute!" said Samus in a girly voice, "And then you guys can go out!"

"Hey, aren't I going out with you?" said Wolf angrily, pointing a claw at Samus.

Samus stared at Wolf.

"Because like… I'm a dude…" said Wolf.

Samus stared at Wolf.

"And you're not a dude…" said Wolf.

Samus stared at Wolf.

"And we hang out in a romantic way…" said Wolf.

Samus stared at Wolf.

"Like… dude to non-dude love…" said Wolf.

"Yes… I'm not a dude…" said Samus suspiciously.

Samus took out her diary. "Dear Diary," said Samus out loud, "Wolf is beginning to suspect my true-"

"I can hear you," said Wolf, ironically oblivious to what Samus actually said.

"How do I delete?! HOW DO I DELETE?!" screamed Samus, scrawling Ctrl + Z repeatedly across the page.

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 3rd Place

"ROOOY! It's hoooot!" screamed Zelda, wearing several layers of ski gear in the blistering sun.

"Why are you wearing all of that?" said Roy, concerned, "You'll boil to death! Take some of that off!"

"ROOOY!" sobbed Zelda, "What kind of girl do you think I am?!"

"I didn't mean it in…" said Roy.

"ROOOOOY!" screamed Zelda, "THIS IS THE WORST TRIP EVER!"

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 4th Place

"This desert heat is killing me," said Toon Link, perspiring heavily as he walked towards the carpark. "It's soooo hot…"

"Sure is," said King Dedede, being transported along by a team of Waddle Dees, holding him up on a big mat.

"Hey! That's not fair!" said Toon Link jealously. "You're not even doing anything! I want one to carry me!"

"Okay," said King Dedede reluctantly, ordering one Waddle Dee over to Toon Link with his finger.

The Waddle Dee walked over and held up Toon Link with ease, waddling along.

"Wheeee!" cheered Toon Link, happily riding along. "To the carpark!"

They walked past the cars.

"Hey! The cars are back there!" said Toon Link.

"The ice cream parlour's another hundred metres," said King Dedede.

"Hey!" said Toon Link angrily, "We're racing! We're racing! I'm not going to put up with it!"

Toon Link struggled in an attempt to loosen the Waddle Dee's grip, who was holding him over his head.

The Waddle Dee was stronger than Toon Link.

"Waaaah!" sobbed Toon Link.

Nobody responded.

Toon Link grunted.

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 5th Place

"Now that we're in a real fraternity," said Fox, applying aftershave to himself, "We have to maintain well groomed for the ladies."

"And girls just dig this deodorant," said Falcon, spraying weed killer all around himself.

"Dude, that's weed killer," said Fox.

"Weed killer… …or lust creator?" said Falcon romantically.

Plants around him started to die.

"Dude, it's weed killer, it's probably poisonous," said Fox.

"Nonsense!" laughed Falcon dismissively.

They walked along.

…

"…why are my nipples blue?!" screamed Captain Falcon, looking down his shirt.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

"omg hurry" said Jigglypuff, running along.

"omg i said brb cos I was going to the bathroom" said Ganondorf angrily.

"but how could you write that if ur away?!?!" said Jigglypuff angrily.

"OK I said it cos ur boring me!!!!!" said Ganondorf.

"how could you?!" sobbed Jigglypuff, "waah! Waah! Waah!"

Jigglypuff ran off crying.

…

"jeeglypoff?" said Ganondorf.

…

,"hunny?!" said Ganondorf.

…

…

Jigglypuff came back, smiling.

"…bitch," said Ganondorf.

"how could you?!" sobbed Jigglypuff, "waah! Waah! Waah!"

Jigglypuff ran off crying.

"jeeeglypoff!" cried Ganondorf.

Angst-ridden music.

Kirby and Pikachu

Kirby and Pikachu climbed into the car, Kirby into the driver's seat.

They looked at the controls excitedly.

"…automatic car!" they cheered.

…

…

"…car on…" said Kirby slyly.

"When it means an automatic," said Pikachu, "It means it automatically changes-"

"I know what I'm doing," interrupted Kirby in a scruff, action-hero voice.

Kirby turned back towards the steering wheel. "Car on."

The car turned on.

"A-ha!" announced Kirby proudly, "See? I do know what I'm doing!"

"Wow!" said Pikachu excitedly, clapping his hands in amazement.

"Car… drive forward!" said Kirby, sneakily throwing his hand underneath on the accelerator pedal.

Nothing happened.

"You have to put it into drive," said Pikachu, suddenly unimpressed.

"Ah…" said Kirby dramatically.

Kirby put the car into drive. "Car… drive forward!" screamed Kirby dramatically.

Kirby put his foot on the accelerator pedal and drove slowly forward. "See? It is an automatic car that does whatever you tell it to do! It's a technological marvel, a-"

"I know what you're doing," said Pikachu, uninpressed.

Kirby pouted.

Wolf and Samus

Wolf and Samus sprinted towards the four-wheel drive.

"We have to beat them!" screamed Samus, running towards the car.

"Cool, we've got a four-wheel drive!" screamed Wolf, wearing his patented cowboy had, jumping through the window heroically into the front seat.

"Hey, that was cool!" cheered Samus.

Samus shot a charge shot (one of those gigantic bullet thingies) towards the car, causing a giant dent in the car, causing the left side to crumple.

"What the hell, Samus! WHAT THE HELL?!" screamed Wolf, jumping out of the burning car.

"I know you like… heroic entrances…" said Samus nobly.

"…YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!" screamed Wolf.

…

"And my hat!" said Wolf, whimpering, clawing at the tiny chunk of his cowboy hat that was burned. "My really cool hat!"

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Can I drive for once?" said Toon Link to his feathered friend outside their car.

"Sure can!" said King Dedede.

"Oh goodie! Oh boy! Oh boy!" cheered Toon Link, running into driver's seat. "You're the greatest!"

King Dedede hopped into the passenger's seat, lowering the car four-wheel drive about a ruler length with his weight.

"This is the first fun thing you've let me do this entire race!" cheered Toon Link.

King Dedede adjusted his moustache in the mirror, disinterested.

"Oh boy! Me driving?! Oh boy! Oh boy!" cheered Toon Link.

Toon Link started the engine, gripping his hands tightly on the steering wheel.

"Don't forget to put on your seatbelt!" reminded King Dedede.

"Right!" cheered Toon Link, taking his hands off the steering wheel and-

King Dedede reached for a lever underneath Toon Link's seat, pushing him back a metre.

…

"Hey!" said Toon Link, shocked, his feet a good four feet away from the accelerator pedal.

"Hyuk, hyuk!" laughed King Dedede.

"Very funny," said Toon Link angrily, struggling to move his seat back forward.

Toon Link continued to struggle. "We're in a race!" screamed Toon Link, "Just help me adjust my seat!"

"Okay," said King Dedede, grabbing onto Toon Link's chair.

"Move me forward!" screamed Toon Link, panicking.

King Dedede moved Toon Link's chair an inch forward.

"More! More!" screamed Toon Link.

King Dedede moved Toon Link's chair an inch forward.

"More! More!" screamed Toon Link.

King Dedede moved Toon Link's chair an inch forward.

"Push harder!" demanded Toon Link.

King Dedede, smiling, pushed Toon Link's seat forward with all his might, sending Toon Link flying out of the front windshield.

"ohsh-" said King Dedede, putting his hands to his cheeks in shock.

Some of Toon Link's blood dripped on King Dedede's good suit.

"…now WHAT was that for?!" said King Dedede angrily, "…that's… …annoying!"

Roy and Zelda

Roy and Zelda ran into the carpark.

"ROOOY! This car is on fire!" moaned Zelda, "We're gonna come laaasssst now! This is the woooorst trip ever!" screamed Zelda.

"Zel, that's just one four wheel drive," explained Roy, "There are six or so other four-wheel drives that we can use."

…

"…I don't like the colour!" moaned Zelda, looking for an excuse to mope.

"Zel, they're all the same colour," said Roy.

…

"ROOOOOYYYYY!" screamed Zelda. "IT'S TOOO HOOOOOOOOT!"

Fox and Falcon

"Zelda complaining is really getting under my skin," said Falcon angrily, running along.

They ran up to the car. Falcon bumped his finger on the car door. "My nails are ruined!" screamed Falcon, with a lisp.

…

"You just complained," said Fox.

"You are so insensitive to my feelings!" sobbed Falcon.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"OMG we finally made it it's our car!" screamed Jigglypuff, crawling along the ground at the end of the tumultuous 200 metre trek.

"IT'S really NOT that far to go BITCH" said Ganondorf, stepping out of the taxi he took from the entrance of the airport.

"OMG you took a taxi without telling me?! WAAH WAAH WAAH" screamed Jigglypuff, running back to the entrance of the airport.

…

"she'll come back" said Ganondorf.

Jigglypuff hopped out of a taxi next to Ganondorf, smiling.

"OMG U TOOK A TAXI ur such a weakling! ONLY a stupid girl and a bad girlfriend would do that" said Ganondorf, "UR THE WORST GIRLFRIEND I'VE EVER HAVE!!!!"

"Waah waah waah" screamed Jigglypuff, running off crying.

…

"bitch," said Ganondorf.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 1st Place

"I think Kirby and Pikachu are tailgating us," hypothesised Samus.

Kirby rammed his four wheel drive into the back of Wolf's vehicle, shaking everything inside.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" screamed Wolf.

"Calm down honey, deep breaths," said Samus.

"THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL US," screamed Wolf, "Despite what we've worked out with your therapist now is a time to panic!"

"AAAAHHHHH!" screamed Samus, panicking, hitting Wolf over the head with a crowbar.

"Try panicking without you hurting me!" screamed Wolf angrily.

"AAAAHHHHH!" screamed Samus, breaking the front windshield with a crowbar.

The shards of glass narrowly missed Wolf's face. "AAAAAHHHH!" screamed Wolf.

"Actually, I'm feeling a lot better now," said Samus.

"Good," screamed Wolf nervously.

A butterfly flew into the car, landing on Wolf's nose.

"KILL IT! KILL IT!" screamed Samus, picking up the crowbar and-

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 2nd Place

Kirby and Pikachu drove along, a slow country song playing in the background.

"I thought they said on the freeway to give two seconds' space," said Pikachu.

"I thought that was two inches!" said Kirby, pressing on the accelerator pedal, ramming into Wolf's car again.

"No! Two seconds!" said Pikachu angrily.

"Oh," said Kirby.

Kirby allowed a one metre gap between their cars.

"Kirby… that's no better… at all…" said Pikachu. "If Wolf's car in front of us were even to slow by a couple of kilometres we could find ourselves…"

Kirby turned up the radio.

"And welcome to… …Kids Radio!" cheered an announcer.

"Yaaay!" cheered Kirby and Pikachu, flailing their hands in the air which meant that Kirby took his hands off the steering wheel.

The four-wheel drive steered off the highway. Their car hit a rock, and the car flipped over. The camera turned to black.

Cliffhanger music.

The Smashy Amazing Race

Kirby and Pikachu

The four-wheel drive flipped over, skidding on its roof to a halt. Kirby and Pikachu were jerked around as the car hit rocks and bumps. The car halted several metres on the side of the highway.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 1st Place

"Woah, did you see that?!" said Wolf, looking at his side mirror, "I think their car just flipped over!"

"Serves them right for trying to kill us!" said Samus angrily.

"I… I think they're hurt!" said Wolf.

"You are so soft," said Samus angrily, "They've tried to kill us dozens of times but when Kirby gets a boo boo because of a little car crash-"

"It's more than a littlecar crash," snarled Wolf.

"You like them, don't you?!" said Samus angrily.

"I think they're adorable and I wish I was cute as them!" sobbed Wolf.

Kirby and Pikachu

"Oh no!" screamed Kirby, climbing out of the car.

"Are you alright?" said Pikachu, shocked, crawling out of the car.

"Sorry Pikachu, I was so excited by the kids' radio hour that I lost track of the road!" said Kirby, in a daze.

"It's okay! As long as we're alright," said Pikachu, patting a rock.

"Pika, I'm here," said Kirby.

"You're my best friend," said Pikachu, hugging the rock.

"Are you concussed?" said Kirby.

"No Kirby! I'm fine!" said the Pikachu-cactus in a deep voice.

"Oooohh!" laughed Kirby, "There you are!"

Kirby hugged the cactus tightly.

Wolf and Samus

Wolf reversed the four-wheel drive against 60-mile-an-hour traffic back towards Kirby and Pikachu, somehow not getting hit by any oncoming cars.

"You guys okay?" said Wolf, parking his car.

"Yeah, we're fine!" said Pikachu, in a daze.

"No we're not Wolf! And you're going to stay here and be our best friends forever!" demanded Kirby angrily.

"Come on, Wolf!" said Samus, dragging Wolf off.

"But they're sooo cuuuuute!" sobbed Wolf.

Kirby and Pikachu

"In the case that a team's car breaks down, they must wait for a replacement, with no time credit for this unfortunate event!" said Master Hand.

Roy and Zelda

Roy stopped the car. Zelda jumped out, panicking.

"Kirby!" screamed Zelda, "Pikachu! Are you okay!"

Zelda ran over to Kirby and picked him up, hugging him. "Oh Kirby, are you okay?!" said Zelda.

"We're fine," said Kirby, "We just got into an accident but we're okay."

"Oh that's great!" said Zelda cheerfully.

Zelda picked up Pikachu, cradling him near her chest area, "Oh Pikachu! I'm so glad that you're okay! I was so worried about you for a moment there!"

"Oh, I'm doooing fine…" said Pikachu in a deep, sexy, masculine voice, still being cradled by Zelda.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"I think the Pokemon have been in an accident!" said Toon Link.

"I'm really sad to see their race crashing and burning like that," joked King Dedede.

"That is so out of line!" said Toon Link.

"You're right! That last joke was a wreck!" laughed King Dedede.

King Dedede drove past, chuckling to himself.

"You didn't stop?!" screamed Toon Link, "They might be hurt!"

"The only thing that hurts my heart is to see a young boy like that get so fat," said King Dedede, "It was probably his stomach that unbalanced the car and caused it to flip."

King Dedede grinned giddily, anticipating a laugh.

"Everything you have done in the last five minutes has just been wrong," said Toon Link angrily.

…

"And you're saying Kirby's fat?! You're fat!" said Toon Link angrily.

"Oh, like I didn't already know that!!!" laughed King Dedede with a lisp, flopping his wrist down.

…

"I'm not fat," sobbed King Dedede.

Kirby and Pikachu

"That's King Dedede passing," said Kirby.

"I can't believe they passed without stopping!" said Roy, shocked, "There's so many heartless teams in this race!"

Fox and Falcon

Falcon stopped the car and peered out of the window.

"You okay, dudes?" said Falcon.

"We were in an accident," said Pikachu, being curdled by Zelda.

"Oooh… I'd like to get in an accident around Zelda," said Fox sexily, looking at Pikachu, being comforted by Zelda near her chest area.

…

"…why would you want to get in an accident?" said Falcon, "…you could get hurt!"

…

"Let's just… …go…" said Fox.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"LA LA LA" screamed Ganondorf, doing a handstand with his back facing the front windshield, operating the pedals with his head and steering with his thighs.

"OMG CAR CRASH" said Jigglypuff, shocked, pointing ahead.

"let us stop and help, LUCKILY we are very RESPONSIBLE drivers so that sorta stuff doesn't happen to us," said Ganondorf, repeatedly side-railing a Mini, causing it to spin out of control and narrowly miss another car.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in 5th Place

"iN the case of emergency we have always carried around this first adi kit" said Jigglypuff, holding up a vat of sulphuric acid.

"Also, I HAVE A KNIfe and SaLT so that I can cut you open and then heal the wounds" said Ganondorf, holding up a knife threateningly.

"Gee! Thanks guys!" cheered Kirby.

"Uh… Kirby? Are you sure about this?" said Pikachu.

"…yep! And I'm so confident I'm volunteering you to go first!" said Kirby enthusiastically.

Kirby pushed Pikachu in front of Ganondorf.

Ganondorf stabbed Pikachu.

"Uh… uh…" said Kirby, backing away slowly.

Wolf and Samus

"We are so lost after we got off the highway," said Wolf, navigating through a bumpy, desert road.

Toon Link and King Dededede

"It's boiling and we're lost," said Toon Link, "…I think we see a team far ahead of us though."

Fox and Falcon
"Geez, those desert girls there are suuuure hot," said Falcon, peering out of the window.

"Those are cacti," said Fox.

…

Roy and Zelda

"You guys go now," said Kirby, to Zelda.

"I love you all!" said Zelda, blowing a kiss to the Pokemon.

"Wow, you're so caring," said Roy, "And sweet, and that's what I love about you."

"Yep, yep, I love you, yep," said Zelda dismissively and quickly.

Enrhein Camel Station

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 1st Place

Their four-wheel drive turned into an even bumpier road.

"I spot camels!" said Wolf, pointing ahead.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 2nd Place

"Look Link! I'm a camel!" said King Dedede, wearing a novelty hat with a hump on top of it.

"Pay attention to the road," said Toon Link softly, clenching his teeth as their car neared a flock of camels.

"Honk! Honk!" said King Dedede, making a duck noise.

"That is not a camel noise, now can you please look at the road?!" screamed Toon Link, as they neared the bunch of camels.

"And…" said King Dedede, opening his door, "…bail!"

King Dedede attempted to jump out, but his penguin fat was too large to let him stay in the car.

"Uh…" said King Dedede, their car now fifty metres from the camels, and nearing quickly.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" screamed Toon Link and King Dedede.

Wolf and Samus

Samus jumped out of the car, ran out and grabbed a clue.

"You must now-" read Samus.

King Dedede's car was coming straight for Samus.

Most of the flock of camels ran off. One camel pushed Samus forward with his head to warn Samus.

"These animals are so rude!" said Samus angrily, holding her clue away from the camels, and holding her ground.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!" screamed Toon Link and King Dedede, their car nearing Samus.

Wolf and Samus

"Samus!" screamed Wolf from twenty metres away.

"I'm trying to read the clue!" screamed Samus angrily.

A strong gust of wind came between the two.

"There's a car coming straight for you!" screamed Samus.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!" screamed Toon Link and King Dedede, their car coming straight for Samus.

Suddenly, a small tornado formed right in front of their car.

Their car gently glided over Samus's head and landed five metres from the clue box.

…

…

"Well… karma must be rewarding me for being such a good person!" laughed King Dedede.

King Dedede strolled out of the car, smiling smugly.

A tornado formed underneath his feet, picking him up, and swirling him towards a pit of spiky, sharp animal fossils.

"Okay! Okay!" screamed King Dedede, "I won't push my luck!"

The tornado put King Dedede back down.

"…sucker…" chuckled King Dedede.

The tornado started to form underneath King Dedede's feet.

"Okay! Okay!" screamed King Dedede.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 1st Place

"Okay! We're here first!" said Wolf, grabbing a clue. "Road Block! Who can stand both heat and cold?"

"Road Block!" said Master Hand, "A Road Block is a task that only one person may perform! In this Road Block, that person must take one of these camels through the desert, braving ninety-degree heat! They must lead this camel on a two-kilometre trek to this oasis, where they must perform a ritual for the goddess, Ashera! Once they have taken this potion and submerged themselves in icy water for two minutes, they will be able to collect their next clue!"

"I'll do it!" said Samus.

"Lead a camel on a two-kilometre trek along a marked path to an oasis," read Wolf, "Once there, participate in a traditional ritual to receive your next clue."

"Right!" said Samus, using a shovel to dig in the sand.

…

"…what possible reason led you to start digging in the sand?" said Wolf.

"I'm finding camels," said Samus.

…

"Technically, yoooou're…" said Wolf, "…not going to find a camel underneath the sand."

"You're not allowed to help!" said an on-location cameraman from production. "Or it's a five minute penalty!"

"What?!" said Wolf angrily.

"Don't worry, Wolf! I've got this all under control!" said Samus, digging deeper into the sand.

"Sure you do," sobbed Wolf, burying his head in his arms. "Sure you do."

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 2nd Place

"Road Block!" read Toon Link, "Who can stand both heat and cold?"

"I'll do it," said Toon Link, "After all, you shouldn't be running through the desert. You get sweaty reaching for a hamburger!"

Toon Link grinned at King Dedede.

King Dedede stared blankly.

"It was a joke," said Toon Link.

…

"…I'm making fun of your weight," said Toon Link.

…

"Oh! Very funny!" laughed King Dedede.

King Dedede lunged towards the cameraman, the picture turning black. Suddenly, the sound muted.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Coal Miners

The picture came on again.

"Road Block!" said King Dedede enthusiastically, "Who can stand both heat and cold?"

"Ooh, ooh," said Toon Link angrily, scratch marks and bandages covering his face, which had two noticeable black eyes. "Me. Me. I'll do it."

"Yes, yes you should!" laughed King Dedede, "After all… I shouldn't be running through the desert! As I get… …sweaty reaching for a hamburger!"

King Dedede grinned, anticipating a laugh.

…

"You beat me up for making a joke about your weight and then you steal my joke and use it afterwards?!" said Toon Link angrily.

…

"Do you want me to do that to you again?" said King Dedede angrily, pointing to Toon Link's face.

"This is all being recorded," said Toon Link angrily.

"Just kidding!" screamed King Dedede in a very fake manner, "Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!" screamed King Dedede forcefully.

Kilvas Highway

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in Last Place

"Oh look! Here's our spare car!" cheered Kirby, pointing to a four-wheel drive being driven towards them.

The car stopped, and a production assistant jumped out.

"Come on!" squeaked Pikachu, climbing into the back seat. "We have to catch up!"

"Yeah! We've got catching up to do!" announced Kirby.

Kirby revved the engine and accelerated down the highway at 120 miles per hour.

"Uh… Kirby…" said Pikachu nervously.

"Yep?" said Kirby, making a coffee as he took his hands off the steering wheel.

"Can you… try and be a bit safer this time?" said Pikachu nervously.

Kirby sipped his coffee as he sat back in his seat looking at the dangling fluffy dice with the car in auto-pilot. "Don't worry, everything should be fine!" said a relaxed Kirby who was leaning back further as the car accelerated in auto-pilot from 120 to 130 miles an hour as they approached a sharp 90-degree bend.

"Kirby!" screamed Pikachu, the sharp freeway bend nearing.

Pikachu grabbed onto the steering wheel, jumped onto the front seat and jammed on the brake, causing the car to skid around the corner, taking several cacti and cows with it as it made the turn.

"Oh! So now you have a problem with my driving?" said Kirby angrily.

Kirby and Pikachu

Pikachu drove down the highway at a calm 80 miles an hour.

"You are… …such an old man driver," said Kirby angrily.

"I'm still speeding!" said Pikachu angrily, pointing to the 60 miles per hour sign on the right.

"Oooolllld maaan…" taunted Kirby.

…

"Do you want your cane, old man?" said Kirby.

"Shut up!" screamed Pikachu in a deep, gruff masculine voice.

Enrhein Camel Station

Toon Link

Toon Link crawled through the desert heat, taking shade in the camel who was walking alongside him.

"Go Link!" cheered King Dedede, "You better hurry up! Otherwise you'll die in the desert heat or be eaten by coyotes!"

Toon Link turned around angrily. "Those aren't even puns!" he screamed.

Samus

Samus continued to dig through the sand, looking for a camel.

"Samus, there aren't any camels there!" said Wolf angrily.

Samus rummaged through their car for a camel.

"You are not going to find a camel in the car," said Wolf angrily.

Samus started looking inside her clothes for a camel.

"Samus… …no Samus…" said Wolf, sobbing into his paws.

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 3rd Place

The frats sped their car into the parking lot, narrowly missing small animals and endangered wildlife as they sped into the carpark.

"Frats are here, and they're ready to party!" screamed Fox, jumping out of the car in his bathers, holding a keg of beer.

"The party is here!" screamed Falcon, wearing a skimpy swimsuit.

"Race you to the pool!" screamed Fox, running towards a pile of hot quicksand.

They jumped into the sand.

"This pool is so freaking heated!" cheered Falcon.

They sunk.

"I hope I can meet a girlfriend!" cheered Fox, drowning.

Kilvas Highway

Kirby and Pikachu

Pikachu drove the car.

"So… old man…" said Kirby, pushing his face up to Pikachu's. "…you had your pills yet?"

Pikachu glared angrily, and continued to drive the car.

"Have you cleaned your dentures today?" said Kirby, grinning.

Pikachu scrunched his face up and continued to stare at the highway.

"…there's bingo afterwards!" said Kirby.

…

"Do you like bingo?" said Kirby.
"Shut up!" screamed Pikachu in his deep, manly, masculine voice.

…

"No bingo for you then!" said Kirby angrily. Kirby jumped back into the back seat and crossed his arms angrily.

Enrhein Camel Station

Toon Link
"Go camel, go!" said Toon Link, waddling along next to his camel in the desert heat.

Samus
Samus looked underneath a rock.

"No Samus, no," said Wolf angrily.

Samus walked past the camel.

"Samus!" screamed Wolf angrily, "Back there!"

Samus walked back towards the camel. Samus walked past the camel. Samus looked underneath a rock.

"AEIFBHWEUFONIO!" screamed Wolf, biting his hand.

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 3rd Place

"I'll do it, groovy dude!" said Falcon, wearing a 60's rainbow t-shirt and psychedelic-vision-inducing sunglasses.

"Since when do you ever talk like that?" said Fox angrily.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in 4th Place

"DRIVING IN THE DESERT" said Jigglypuff, covering Ganondorf's face as he drove down the freeway.

"DRIVING IN THE DESERT" screamed Ganondorf, attempting to insert chocolate into his own mouth except Jigglypuff was blocking his mouth so he was actually inserting chocolate into Jigglypuff's back which did not digest the chocolate very easily.

Toon Link

"Hiya!" screamed Link, leading the camel throughout the desert.

The camel walked at the same speed.

"Go faster, boy!" cheered Toon Link.

The camel walked at the same speed.

"Good boy!" said Toon Link, patting the camel.

Samus

"Wolf, I have worked out what the camel is!" said Samus proudly.

"What?" said Wolf impatiently.

"That!" said Samus, pointing to a camel.

"Yes Samus, yes!" cheered Wolf, "Well done! Now you can finally lead your camel and-"

Samus shot the camel repeatedly with her blaster.

"Now I can lead my camel across the desert!" cheered Samus, looking at her incredibly maimed camel.

"Generally when you lead camels on treks, they're supposed to be alive," said Wolf pitifully.

…

"…oooohhhhhhh…" said Samus.

…

"Oops," said Samus.

"Just take another camel," said Wolf.

"No, no! I think I've got this!" said Samus, attempting to drag the dead camel across the sand.

"Just. Take. Another. Camel." said Wolf angrily.

"Look! Look!" cheered Samus, pointing at the stationary camel, "It's moooving! It's mooooooving!"

"JUST TAKE ANOTHER CAMEL" screamed Wolf.

…

Samus took another camel. "Get it, moooving?"

"Camels do not moo," said Wolf.

"Waah! Waah!" cried Samus, running off crying.

Oasis

Toon Link

"Go Toon Link!" cheered King Dedede, driving in the jeep alongside Toon Link.

"Phew, almost there," said Toon Link, panting, taking several steps towards a post and then tying the camel to it. He pulled the clue out of his pants pocket. "Once there, participate in a traditional ritual to receive your next clue."

"I give you ritual!" screamed a crazy old lady, holding up a strange mixture in a glass.

"Uggh," muttered Toon Link under his breath.

"I believe in you!" cheered King Dedede from his car.

"I guess I have to do this for the race," said Toon Link, cringing at the worms and dirt surrounding the glass.

"You can do it!" cheered King Dedede.

Toon Link took the mixture and swallowed it.

"You can realise that this is actually not part of the task!" cheered King Dedede.

Toon Link started to choke. "This is disgusting!" screamed Toon Link. "What did you say?"

"It's not part of the task!" cheered King Dedede.

"W- WHAT?!" screamed Toon Link angrily, gagging on the mud, peanut butter and worm chowder inside the mixture.

A worm crawled out of his stomach and into his mouth. "You mean I drank this disease-ridden drink and it's not part of the race?!" screamed Toon Link angrily.

"Well, that's what I paid that crazy lady to do!" laughed King Dedede, "The ritual is over there!" King Dedede pointed over to a booth next to the oasis that was labelled 'ritual'.

"cDSVSDJHNIE!" screamed Toon Link, becoming infected with disease.

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!" chuckled King Dedede.

Toon Link
Performing Ritual

"So this is the ritual?" said Toon Link, looking at a dinky plastic cup on the table.

"Yep, it's pretty simple!" said a native wolf girl sitting at the desk.

Toon Link downed the potion. "Hey, this is sweet!" said Toon Link happily, ingesting the sweet syrup with ease. "Is that the whole ritual?"

"Yep," said the girl.

…

"Oh, also we have to submerge you in water for two minutes," said the wolf girl.

"Submerge whaaaa?" said Toon Link.

"I'LL DO IT!" screamed King Dedede, jumping out of the car, running across the hot sand and picking up Toon Link.

He dived into the oasis, pinning Toon Link below the water.

"THIS. WILL. TEACH YOU." screamed King Dedede, pushing down with all his might, "TO TRY. AND. TAKE. MY. PLACE. AS. A. COMIC RELIEF CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!"

"mmmf!" screamed Toon Link.

"Time's up," said the native.

"NOT ON MY WATCH" screamed King Dedede, pushing Toon Link down further.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 1st Place

"Well, I knew that all along!" laughed King Dedede, glaring at the locals angrily with one eye, "I knew that the potion you drank assists you in breathing underwater! Why else would I try and drown you besides for comedic effect?"

"You didn't know that!" said Toon Link angrily, flapping his gills, taking the clue, "I still can't believe you tried to drown me!"

Toon Link opened the clue.

"Drive to the Persis Military Training Centre!" read Toon Link.

"Teams must drive through the political and economic capital of Begnion, Sienne to find this military training centre!" said Master Hand, "Once here, they must search the grounds for their next clue!"

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 1st Place

"Hey! We're finally in first place!" cheered Toon Link.

"…or are we?" said King Dedede, grinning goofily.

"Oh no you don't!" screamed Toon Link, dragging King Dedede along.

King Dedede's fat penguin body budged barely an inch.

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!" laughed King Dedede.

Toon Link grunted.

Enrhein Camel Station

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in 4th Place

"Road Block! Who can stand both heat and cold?" read Ganondorf.

"oh me me me I can do it" said Jigglypuff enthusiastically.

"well" joked Ganondorf, who was about five feet taller than Jigglypuff, "if my partner, who is not hear doesn't want to do it"

Ganondorf looked around at the surroundings his height.

"…then I'll have 2 do it" said Ganondorf angrily, "way 2 let me down bitch"

Jigglypuff kicked Ganondorf in the shins.

"ow ow o wow ow my shins" cried Ganondorf, falling over the ground.

"NOW U CAN FEEL WHAT IT'S LIKE 2 BE ME" said Jigglypuff angrily, stabbing Ganondorf's legs repeatedly. in the desert.

10 minutes later…

"well" said Ganondorf, sitting on a wheelchair, "I am sitting on wheelchair and still taller than you olol!"

Jigglypuff removed Ganondorf's wheels. "how about now" cryed Jigglypuff.

Ganondorf was two feet tall, sitting on the ground. "still taller than yuo!"

Jigglypuff grabbed a chainsaw and-

2 minutes later…

"now u are as tall as me!" laffed Jigglypuff, leaning on Ganondorf's disembodied head.

"OMG I AM REALLY HUMILIATED AND IN A LOT OF PAIN AS I AM A DISEMBODIED HEAD" screamed Ganondorf.

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 5th Place

"Rooy! We are so behind!" screamed Zelda, panicking, ripping open the clue. "Road Block! Who can stand both heat and cold?"

"I'll do it, Zel," said Roy.

"ROOOY!" screamed Zelda, "You never let me do anything!"

"Are you sure?" said Roy, pointing to Jigglypuff leading a camel in front of them, "It looks like you might have to walk through the desert."

"Oh, so are you saying women are physically incapable of performing any task that involves even an ounce of strength?" said Zelda angrily, "I am woman and I am strong!"

An ant crawled up to next to Zelda's leg.

"AIIIIEEEE!" screamed Zelda, jumping into Roy's arms in a Scooby-Doo-esque style, trembling.

"…I'll do it," said Roy.

Kilvas Highway

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in Last Place

Pikachu drove down the highway.

"We are currently in last place," said Kirby. "We've never been used to this position and we don't want to go home today."

Kirby glared at Pikachu angrily, "And maybe we wouldn't if this old man here wouldn't drive so slowly!"

"Forgive me for driving 59 in a 60 zone!" said Pikachu angrily.

"Old man," said Kirby, grinning.

…

"Old man, we're going to play some 1920's songs afterwards," said Kirby, grinning.

…

"Are you excited?" taunted Kirby.

"Well if I'm an old man, then that makes you a little kid!" said Pikachu angrily. "Go back to kindergarten, little boy!"

…

"…hey!" whimpered Kirby.

Enrhein Camel Station

Samus

Samus walked the camel along.

"So… is there anything you'd like to say to me?" said Samus angrily.

The camel did not respond.

"I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME!" screamed Samus, shaking the camel.

The camera panned fifty metres behind Samus.

Falcon

"Come on camel!" cheered Falcon excitedly, placing shots of whiskey in front of the camel to mark out a path.

The camel slurped up a shot, walking quicker and quicker to each next glass.

"To the college guidance counsellors, I say ha!" said Falcon triumphantly to the camera, "Alcohol has many benefits indeed!"

The camel fell asleep.

"Damn it!" screamed Falcon.

The camera panned across the desert, several hundred metres back.

Jigglypuff

"OMG CAMEL" said Jigglypuff angrily, wearing a sparkly bandana, "it's step step jump not step jump step!!!!!!!"

"HOW CAN you make it on the cheer team if you can't perform basic choreography!" screamed Ganondorf angrily, with a lisp.

Roy

"You know," commented Roy to the camera, streams of sweat flowing down his red face, "It's really hot out here and it's really tough, but I keep on going because I know I have the full support of my partner!"

Begnion Plaza

Zelda

"Hmm… hmm… hmm…" said Zelda, shopping for shoes.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 1st Place

"Oh my gosh!" said Toon Link excitedly, passing all of the racers leading camels, "I think we're in first place!"

"Oh, we'll take care of that," laughed King Dedede evilly, cradling his hands.

"You're on my team, you know!" said Toon Link angrily.

King Dedede stared at Toon Link, dumbfounded. "You mean… we're racing… together?!?!"

"I can't believe I just heard those words coming out of your mouth!" said Toon Link angrily, "And to believe-"

"Just kidding!" laughed King Dedede.

"oooohhhh!" laughed Toon Link.

…

"Well, now that we're in first place," commented Toon Link, "We should-"

"nyom nyom nyom!" laughed King Dedede, inhaling Toon Link and eating him.

"…I WAS THE ONE DRIVING!" screamed Toon Link.

"hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!" laughed King Dedede.

"It's on auto-pilot and everything! We might hit something!" screamed Toon Link.

"Okay! Just fooling around!" laughed King Dedede.

King Dedede reached in his mouth to pull out Toon Link, but grabbed something else.

"Okay, here goes!" said King Dedede excitedly, pulling out his heart and-

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed King Dedede, in excruciating pain, holding up his heart.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed Toon Link, looking out of King Dedede's mouth, noticing the cave that their car was speeding towards.

Dramatic pre-ad-break music.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 1st Place

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed Toon Link, looking out of King Dedede's mouth, noticing the cave that their car was speeding towards.

"Hyuk! Hyuk!" laughed King Dedede, placing Toon Link back into the driver's seat. "Just kidding!"

"Very funny," said Toon Link angrily, taking control of the car.

"You see," laughed King Dedede, "I bought this fake heart to scare you into thinking-"

The 'fake' heart in King Dedede's hand started beating.

"Oooohhhh…. Craaaap…" said King Dedede, pulling out the fake heart of his stomach.

King Dedede collapsed onto the dashboard.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in Last Place

"We are currently turning into the camel station," said Kirby turning the wheel as Pikachu operated the pedals, "And we're hoping that one team's still stuck here."

Toon Link and King Dedede's car came towards them. Both cars slowed down.

"Yo dudes," said King Dedede, the four-wheel drive's hydraulics causing it to bounce in time to the bird's hip hop mixtape, "Everyone's still at the task."

"If you guys work quick, you can still stay in!" said Toon Link.

"Okay, you got that?" said Kirby.

Pikachu nodded.

"Onwards!" cheered Kirby in his deep, manly warrior voice. "We shall let nothing stand in our way!"

Pikachu pressed the accelerator pedal.

"Oh! Oh!" said Kirby, pointing to a juice stand on the side of the road in the middle of the desert, "Can we get some juice? We need some juice!"

Pikachu drove past.

"You are NO fun, old man!" said Kirby angrily.

"Don't you want to stay in?" said Pikachu angrily.

"Don't you want some juice?!" screamed Kirby.

Oasis

Wolf and Fox waited at the end of the Road Block in their cars.

"So…" said Fox sexily out of his window to the next car, "What are you doing afterwards, Samus?"

Wolf rolled down his window angrily.

"I did not realise you looked uh… like that under your suit," said Fox hesitantly, leaning back.

"I am not Samus!" screamed Wolf angrily.

"You seriously need a shave, bearded lady," said Fox sexily, leaning towards Wolf.

"I AM NOT SAMUS!" screamed Wolf.

Samus

"I'm done!" said Samus, panting as she crawled the final steps of her long trek.

"Way to go, Samus!" cheered Wolf, "Go Girl!"

"That was so tiring," said Samus, taking a drink from a production-provided refreshment stand.

"You still have to perform the ritual!" said Wolf.

"Getting onto it, honey!" said Samus, walking over to the potion stand.

"This potion shall give you gills," said a mysterious, veiled woman, "Which will allow you to stay underwater for a long time."

"Oh my god!" screamed some random fanboy, "Samus transforming into a fish whilst wearing her revealing zero suit! This is a dream come true!"

Everyone stared at him.

"I'm just gonna uh…" said the fanboy nervously.

Security escorted him out just as Samus was about to change into her zero suit.

"NUUUUEEEE" screamed the fanboy.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in Last Place

"Road Block! Who can stand both heat and cold?" read Kirby.

"I'll do it," said Pikachu, "You need to stop for food every two minutes."

"Do not!" said Kirby, snacking on Pikachu's ear.

"That's my ear," said Pikachu angrily.

"Uh…" said Kirby.

Falcon

"We are done, bro!" screamed Falcon, tying his camel to a post.

"Go dude!" cheered Fox.

"I am so excited to get in the water with Samus!" said Falcon excitedly.

"Hey!" screamed Wolf angrily, "Nobody makes comments about my girlfriend!"

…

"…Samus is… a dude?" said Falcon.

"You are an idiot!" screamed Wolf.

"Samus is a dude?!" screamed Fox.

"I told you that like, two minutes ago!" screamed Wolf.

Fox chugged down another bottle of beer. "Samush is… a duuude?" said Fox slurrily.

"You guys are absolute idiots," said Wolf.

Falcon

"I'm comin' for ya, Samus!" said Falcon excitedly, downing his gill pills.

Samus

A shot of Samus gliding underwater peacefully played.

Wolf and Fox

"You know," said Fox drunkenly, putting his arm around Wolf's shoulder, "There's one thing I neeever really understood about Samus…"

Wolf pushed Fox's arm off him.

"If Samus is like 6 foot or whatever… how come she can bend into the shape of a basketball because there…" said Fox, with slightly unclear speech, "…there's no way the human body can even contort itself into that position, nor can the human body take up that little space! Huuuuuh, Wolf?"

"Okay, I've got another mystery," said Wolf angrily, "How can you be so freakin' stupid and get your own series of games, huh? Huh?"

"Hee, hee," laughed Fox childishly, "You're silly!"

"I was insulting you," said Wolf angrily.

"Gaw! Haw! Haw!" sobbed Fox.

Falcon: 0:23
Samus: 1:34

"Show me your moves!" said Fish Falcon, flaunting his gills to Samus.

Samus pushed Falcon back into a rock violently.

"Ooh… I like a girl who plays rough," said Falcon sexily.

Falcon realised he was impaled on a sharp spike.

"Owie! Owie! Owie!" screamed Falcon, bleeding.

The sharks in the oasis noticed and-

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 2nd Place

Fish Samus emerged from the water.

"Yaay!" cheered a team of teenage fanboys.

Samus, Wolf, security and production gave them a dirty look.

"NUUUEEE!" screamed the kids, being escorted to the execution chamber.

Wolf ripped open the clue. "Drive to the Persis Military Training Centre!" read Wolf.

"Come on, let's beat the frats!" screamed Samus angrily in a manly baritone.

Fox and Falcon

The camera panned over to Captain Falcon, who climbed out of the water desperately, gasping for air, sharks mauling his tight-fitting suit, gnashing their teeth into his skin.

Captain Falcon stood up, a shark's teeth impaled on one of his buttocks. Falcon casually grabbed the clue and read, "Drive to the Persis Military Training Centre!"

"Dude, there's a shark biting your ass," said Fox, staring at the shark biting Falcon.

"Why thank you," said Falcon, smiling giddily, doing a masculine curtsey.

"How could that possibly be misconstrued as a compliment?!" said Fox angrily.

"I thought you were saying my buttocks were nice and firm!" cried Falcon, running off crying.

Pikachu
On Road Block: Currently Last

"Come on, Pikachu!" cheered Kirby, driving alongside his partner who ran along, camel in hand.

"I'm trying my best!" said Pikachu, waddling quickly through the sand, holding a leash through his teeth.

"Good word bud, we're catching up!" cheered Kirby.

Roy
On Road Block: Currently 5th

The camera panned towards Roy, who was struggling to stand up straight.

"The desert heat is killing me," muttered Roy, sweat covering his eyes, hands and face, "I hope I'm not hallucinating but I think I see the end not too far away."

Jigglypuff
On Road Block: Currently 4th

"I LIIIKE JELLY" sang Jigglypuff in a beautiful soprano, taking a bite out of the camel.

"I LIKE CAKE" screamed Ganondorf, biting the camel's ear.

"I LIKE CAMEL SERVED ON MY PLATE" sang Jigglypuff to Disney-esque background music, bluebirds flapping and resting on her arms.

"I LIKE PIE" said Ganondorf, holding up a freshly baked pie.

"SO DO I" said Jigglypuff, holding up a coyote skull that rested next to her feet.

"LET'S TAKE THIS KNIFE AND CUT ALL INSIDE" sung Jigglypuff and Ganondorf, holding up a knife together.

They started to kill the camel.

"Uh…" said the cameraman, "The task is to transport the camel, not to eat the camel."

…

"wAY TO Tell us, camel!!!!" said Ganondorf angrily.

"yea! Wey tO LeT US down Camel!!!!!" said Jigglypuff angrily.

The camel's carcass did not respond.

"YOU ARE Deeleted from mah myspac ea and face book and twitter and blocked from msn" said Ganondorf angrily.

The camel's carcass did not respond.

…

"dibs," said Ganondorf, pointing to one of the camel's legs.

Sienne

Baroque harpsichord music played as shots played of aristocracy, grand buildings and upper

class folk.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 1st Place

"Wow, this is such a high class place!" said Toon Link, admiring the bliss of this renaissance city, watching academics stroll down the street in their gowns.

King Dedede came to a stop at a traffic light.

"Yes, everyone here is quite sophisticated and polite," said King Dedede. He rolled down the window, and in a British accent said, "Good afternoon good sir!"

"Good afternoon plump anthropomorphic bird!" said a man dressed in a suit, in a posh British accent. "The fast food chain is around the corner!"

"Ho, ho, ho!" laughed a band of his associates.

"Very clever," said King Dedede, stepping out of the car, "And the hospital is also around the corner, too!"

…

"wut?" said Toon Link.

Sienne Police Station

King Dedede and Toon Link sat in a jail cell.

"You BROKE his KNEECAPS?!" screamed Toon Link angrily.

"NO I ATE HIS KNEECAPS" screamed King Dedede, blood and foam frothing from his mouth.

Sienne

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 2nd Place

"Wow, this place is so high class and posh!" said Wolf excitedly, looking out his window at a traffic light, "I actually feel like I fit in with my monocle!"

"I thought it was an eye patch," said Samus.

"I KNOW it's an eye patch!" said Wolf angrily, "Haven't we been over this like, twenty times this race?"

"Uh…" said Samus, searching through the last five chapters, "…doesn't seem like it."

…

"…wut?" said Wolf.

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 3rd Place

Fox drove through town, Falcon chugging a beer in his mouth.

"This place freaking sucks!" said Fox angrily, pointing at the old men in nice suits walking around, "It's like all of the bad, academic parts of college put together in one place! All of the professors that failed us because we couldn't stand straight or we were too inebriated to sit for finals!" sobbed Fox, waving his arms angrily every time he read out the italicised words.

"I know buddy," said Falcon, patting Fox, "Sometimes life just isn't fair."

Enrhein Camel Station

Roy: Currently 5th
Pikachu: Currently Last

Roy struggled to keep a steady pace as Pikachu caught up from behind.

"Go camel, go!" cheered Pikachu, scampering past Roy under the shade of his camel.

Roy
On Road Block: Currently Last

Roy sighed as he was passed, "All of us are fighting to avoid elimination right now and we're pretty close together."

Jigglypuff: Currently 4th

"gANNIE I'M SO Tvvvvbbbbbbtiiiiired" screamed Jigglypuff, dragging the dead camel down the last thirty metre straight.

"WELL MAYBE you SHOUldn'T ComaPlain or I will shoot you" said Ganondorf, "Shoot you WITH this GUN liked I dids for the camel"

"why do you killed the camel?!" cried Jigglypuff, "it's like 9.36 x 10^5 times aharrder"

"wELL it's NOT avery hard for ME so IT SHOUldn't BE For YOU dumb BITCH" said Ganondorf, cruising alongside Jigglypuff in his air-conditioned car.

"omg it's easy for us as you have aircon and everything!1" said Jigglypuff angrily.

"well YOU DON'T HAVE AIRCorn cos nobody like you!!!!" said Gnaondor f angrily.

"waah waah waah" sobbed Jigglypuff, running off crying.

"you'll be back" said Ganondorf.`

"i'm a golnna make this whole of quicksand and then die out in the desert heat I hope ur happy" said Jigglypuff angrily, grabbing a shovel out of the camel's insides. Jigglypuff started digging.

Pikachu scampered past with his camel.

"omg u can't do that's!" laffed Ganondorf.,. "as you r not strong enuff to dig a WHOle because you DON'T Have all The vitamins from riboflavin to THIACIN stupid!!!!!!"

"waah waah waah" sobbed Jigglypuff.

"what a stupid joak you are" said Ganondorf, taking a book out of the camel's insides, "I am going to edit this joke book and right in ur name because u r a joke"

"waah waah waah" sobbed Jigglypuff.

Ganondorf grabbed a pen out of the camel's insides, "LOOK I'm editing the joak book and drawing ur name in it cos ur so stupid and then that makes you a joke as your name is contained within the joke book OLOL and calling u a joke implies that ur merit as a person is quite low to society's standards OLOL"

"WAAH WAAH WAAH" sobbed Jigglypuff, taking tissues out of the camel's insides.

"waaaaaah waaaaaaaaah" sobbed Jigglypuff, taking a black marker out of the camel's insides, drawing emo tears on herself.

"" sobbed Jigglypuff, taking a laptop out of the camel and posting emo messages on her myspace.

Roy walked past with his camel to see Jigglypuff pulling out random objects from the camel.

"And what exactly did you guys feed this camel?!" said Roy in disbelief.

Pikachu
Performing Ritual

Pikachu ran over to the post and tied his camel to it.

"Great work!" cheered Kirby, "You have to still do the ritual!"

Pikachu looked at the oasis nervously, "Do I… have to go in that?!"

A shrieking high-pitched violin sound played.

"Yeah, come on, dude!" cheered Kirby. "You'll do fine!"

"I dunno!" said Pikachu nervously.

Roy
Performing Ritual

Roy walked the final stretch with his camel and tied it to the post.

"Well done Roy!" cheered Zelda, wearing a completely new outfit, holding her new desert-themed handbag.

"…where did you pick that outfit from?" said Roy.

…

"…it's uh… a mirage… and certainly not a waste of our race money" said Zelda shiftily.

"…oh," said Roy.

"Yeeeah," said Zelda shiftily.

Jigglypuff: Currently Last

"omg if ur not gonna treat me liek a human being this relationship is OVA!!!!" said Jigglypuff angrily.

"LOL WHATEVA" laffed Ganondorf.

"I'm leving 4eva and I'm gonna go out and u'll be sorry without me!!!" sobed Jigglypuff.

"okay" laffed Ganondorf, "i don't need u! I will enjoy this nice bottle of grape juice in this air conditioned car"

"ha!" laffed Jigglypuff spitefully, "u can't drink that without me cos u have week wrists!!!"

"i so can open it with my bear hands!" said Ganondorf, showing Jigglypuff his bear hands.

"ha!" laffed Jigglypuff.

"GNNNGGHHHHGGNNNGGHHHH!" screamed Ganondorf, trying to twist the bottle.

JIgglypuff walked off.

"wait jeeglypoff b4 u leave 4eva can u open this 4 me?!" said Ganondorf, thirsty.

"NO!" said Jigglypuff angrily, walking further away.

"omg ur such a bitch" said Ganondorf.

"Hmmph!" screamed Jigglypuff.

…

"O MY GOD i'm gonna die of dehydration if i don't drink this juce!!!!" said Ganondorf angrily.

…

"jeeeglypoff!" screamed Ganondorf, crumpling up and dying.

Persis Military Training Centre

Persis Military Training Centre

Shots of marching wolf men and humans in strict formation played on screen.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 1st Place

Their car, jerking forwards suddenly every few seconds and then stopping, made its way into the car park.

"Stop doing that!" screamed Toon Link, as the car came to a halt again.

King Dedede accelerated the car quickly and jerked it forward. "Hyuk! Hyuk!" laughed King Dedede.

"Stop it!" screamed Toon Link, "What are you trying to do, make me sick?!"

"Nope, I'm trying to make me sick!" laughed King Dedede.

"That doesn't even begin to make sens-" uttered Toon Link angrily.

"BLEEEEUGGGHHHH!" screamed King Dedede, vomiting camel meat and month-old Subway into Toon Link's face in a constant stream, like a hose.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Coal Miners

Toon Link, covered in old food and undigested meat stood next to King Dedede, arms crossed in anger.

"Detouuuur!" sung King Dedede melodically, "Sword Training or Board Training!"

"This military centre is Begnion's central youth training facility, where sissies are turned into real men!" said Master Hand, "In this detour, teams have to join the armed forces for a day and choose between two military training exercises: Sword Training and Board Training!"
"In Sword Training, teams must go to this field and must demonstrate increasing levels of sword proficiency! First, teams must run through this field full of dummies and hack their way through twenty dummies in just two minutes! If these Olympic judges are impressed with the technique, form and variety of the team's attacks (giving a combined score of 20 out of 30 or more), teams may progress to the next drill!"
"Secondly, teams must walk over to this circus tent and learn how to juggle swords with each other! Once they can get three swords working at a time for five seconds, teams may progress onto the next drill!"
"Lastly, both members must walk over to this fencing field and choose a swordsman each to duel! To finish this detour, each team member must get three hits on their swordsman! This seems easy, but with an unlimited time limit, and a pay bonus for every gallon of blood each swordsman can drain from each contestant, teams may find themselves literally being held up… because they have been impaled by a sword and the sword's been stuck up high which means they've been held up!"
"In Board Training, teams must snowboard through a 2 kilometre snowboard course in an icy underground cavern, one of the planet's toughest! If teams can brave through areas of pitch black, cliffs, 45- degree one metre-wide drops and several loop the loops, they might find themselves… speeding ahead! However, if teams get stuck, they will have to be transported by snowmobile back to the top, a very time-consuming break between each try!"

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 1st Place

"Let's do Sword Training, definitely," said Toon Link.

Enrhein Camel Station

Roy
Performing Ritual

"Come on, Roy!" cheered Zelda, as Roy swallowed the potion.

Pikachu
Performing Ritual

"Come on, Pikachu!" encouraged Kirby, holding Pikachu's shoulders, "The potion will help you hold your breath for longer! I know you can do this!"

"I guess…" said Pikachu nervously.

Roy

Roy took off his shirt and dived into the water.

"Go Roy!" cheered Zelda, "Come on, we're not gonna be in last!"

Jigglypuff: Currently in Last

"jeeglypoff I can't believe u'd leave me like this" sobbed Ganondorf, "ur such an unreasonable bitch and now I'm going to die of heat exhaustion and it's all ur fault"

Jigglypuff stumbled outside from dehydration.

"u are soooo selfish" said Ganondorf, leaning back in his chair in the well circulated, air-conditioned car, "u have like, no idea how 4tunute u are when ppl like me have to die out in the desert like this"

"omg help" said Jigglypuff, dying.

"sorry, did I just hear a total bitch speak or was that just the wind?!" said Ganondorf angrily.

"omg help" screamed JIgglypuff, choking.

"u r so selfish and to think of all the sacrafices I make 4 u!!!" said Ganondorf angrily.

Jigglypuff's health meter neared 0.

"OMG u totally just used a mod to do that, I'm not sharing my resources u cheater!!!" said Ganondorf angrily.

Pikachu
Performing Ritual

"Come on, dude!" said Kirby supportively. "I'll buy you a peanut butter chocolate ice cream if you do this!"

"You know I'm allergic to nuts," said Pikachu, trembling with fear.

"Oh, what a shame," said Kirby, getting lost in thought, "Guess I'd have to eat that ice cream… that nice, nice, delicious looking ice cream…"

"This really isn't helping that much…" said Pikachu, trembling.

Roy
Time Breath Held: 1:22

"Woooow!" said Roy, underwater, apparently the first contestant to realise that it is quite different to be able to breathe underwater.

Pikachu
Performing Ritual

"Nah dude, I joke!" said Kirby, patting Pikachu on the back, "I know you can do this, bud! Besides, it's gonna be cool in there anyway, and the potion is gonna help you stay under there!"

Kirby and Pikachu
Post-Leg Interview

"Electric Pokemon have a natural fear of water," said Kirby.

"Mainly because there's the possibility of us electrocuting ourselves which hurts a lot!" said Pikachu, shuddering. "We have to be relaxed not to electrocute ourselves!"

Pikachu
Performing Ritual

"Come on!" cheered Kirby, "I know you can do this!"

"Here goes!" said Pikachu nervously, jumping in.

Triumphant music played.

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 4th Place

"Drive to the Persis Military Training Centre!" read Roy.

"I'm so proud of you, honey!" cheered Zelda.

Jigglypuff: Currently in Last

The air-conditioner stopped working.

"OMG jigglypuff this is rly serious I'm gonna die hear now" said Ganondorf.

Jigglypuff lay passed out in the desert.

"OMG this is srsly not a time to be playing ded!!!!!" said Ganondorf. "the heat is going to make me exhausted and then i'm going to dehydrate and then I'm going to starve…"

Ganondorf stared at Jigglypuff's body.

"…unless…" said Ganondorf.

Two seconds later…

"NYOM NYOM NYOM" said Ganondorf, biting and chewing Jigglypuff's leg.

"OMG WTF r u doing" said Jigglypuff angrily.

"I thought u were food!" said Ganondorf angrily.

Pikachu
Time Breath Held: 0:48

"Stay caaalm… stay calm…" said Pikachu to himself, trembling underwater.

Kirby

"I am so proud of Pikachu right now," said Kirby happily, "He's my best friend and it means a lot that he's doing this for me!"

Jigglypuff: Currently in Last

Jigglypuff stood in the middle of the desert, sobbing, sitting down with her camel.

"jiggy is everything ok?" said Ganondorf, feeling slightly guilty.

"yes," said Jigglypuff angrily.

"OH okiee!!!!" said Ganondorf happily, "Because u are usually such a bitch wen ur depressed because no-1 likes you"

"I AM OBVIOUSLY NOT ok!!" cried Jigglypuff, sobbing.

"i am so sorry!" cried Ganondorf, biting into his ice cream.

"NO ICE Cream for Yuo!!!!" screamed Jigglypuff, taking Ganondorf's ice cream and throwing it in the sand.

"HOW DARE YOU THROW MY ICE CREAM AWAY LIKE THAT!" screamed Ganondorf, tensing his muscly muscles angrily. "THAT MAKES ME FEEL ANGRY!"

"…u are feeling right now, how u make me feel all the tiem!!!!" said Jigglypuff, sobbing. "evry time u say bad things its like me throwing ur ice cream in the sand"

"i never understood the severity of the situation before you created this analogy!!!" sobbed Ganondorf, "I'M A MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"waaaaah" cried Ganondorf. "I'm sorry"

"I forgive you," said Jigglypuff, sad music playing in the background.

"I'm glad you can forgive me," said Ganondorf, mellow saxophone elevator music playing in the background, "…now Jigglypuff, we have a race to run!"

Triumphant music played in the background.

Pikachu
Time Breath Held: 1:51

"You can do this!" said Pikachu to himself.

"Time's up!" shouted the native from above water.

Pikachu hurriedly emerged from the water, gasping for air.

"Go Pikachu!" cheered Kirby.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 5th Place

"Drive to the Persis Military Training Centre!" read Kirby, Pikachu drying himself off with a towel.

Persis Military Training Centre

Toon Link and King Dedede
1st Drill: Dummy Hacking

"Okay, so we have to kill twenty dummies in two-minutes," paraphrased Toon Link, looking down at the clue as they walked towards the field of dummies.

"…aaand… we get judged on our form, technique and variety of attacking techniques?!?!" said Toon Link, astonished.

"Yep, looks like it!" said King Dedede, pointing to a table of three judges in front of the dummies.

"This isn't sword training, this is… the moronic cousin of Olympic ice skating!" said Toon Link angrily.

An angry Russian man wearing a flamboyant, decorated-with-sequins leotard, wearing skates stared at Toon Link angrily.

Toon Link blushed, "Which of course, I love!"

One minute later…

"Okay, so are we going to get started?" said Toon Link impatiently.

"Soon!" said King Dedede angrily, "Just because you're skinny and you can fit into your leotard quickly!"

"But we're not wearing leotards," said Toon Link.

"Then where did I get this-"

The angry, almost-naked Russian ice skater stared at King Dedede angrily.

"…oh," chuckled King Dedede, "What an innocent mistake! I must have just mistook you for a coat hook stand, and I must have taken off your costume presuming we were supposed to wear it for the task! Innocent mistake!"

"How is that an innocent mistake?" said Toon Link softly, rolling his eyes.

"Oh don't worry! Accidentally removing leotard happens all the time to Dimitri with Russian girls, you know?!" laughed the Russian man.

…

Toon Link chuckled nervously, realising he would receive a death stare if he did otherwise from the Russian man.

One minute later…

King Dedede put the classical record on. Toon Link and King Dedede paused in the position as the record sped up.

The sound track started. Toon Link took giant ballet-esque leaps across the grass in front of the judges, landing in the splits, slicing off the heads of two nearby dummies.

A Waddle Dee inserted some sheets of ice underneath King Dedede's feet. He put on some skates and performed a triple-lutz whilst holding the sword in his teeth, disembowelling three dummies at once.

Toon Link did a brief waltz with another dummy, putting it into a position where three were lined up together. He plunged his sword through all their stomachs.

As the piece came to a close, King Dedede stabbed the final dummy in time with the pulsating notes of the orchestral work, giving the dummy a death kiss on the final note.

The record stopped. Toon Link and King Dedede bowed to the judges, who all proceeded to give them a standing ovation. Roses and teddy bears were thrown on the ice/grass in front of them.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Completed 1st Drill

"Okay," said Toon Link, looking at the clue, "Now we have to juggle swords!"

Sword Juggling Tent

"Okay," explained Toon Link, "Juggling swords might look hard but the trick is to try and give the sword enough rotation that it floats up and-"

"Catch!" laughed King Dedede, spearing a sword in Toon Link's direction.

"Yikes!" screamed Toon Link, ducking for cover. He stood up angrily, "What the hell? You could've killed me!"

"Relax!" laughed King Dedede, "It's just a plastic sword!"

King Dedede noticed the man stumbling behind Toon Link with a very sharp sword impaled in his chest.

"…uh… a very sharp plastic sword…" said King Dedede.

Oasis

Jigglypuff
Performing Ritual

"She must now take this potion that will grow gills on her and help her breath underwater!" said the native to Ganondorf.

"my gal doesn't need pills silly!1!1" laffed Ganondorf, "as she IS a one of the best qwater pokemon"

"I am clearly of the pretty pokemon type" said Jigglypuff brilliantly "I mean uh balloon pokemon"

"that was clearoly a joak!!!!" said Ganon dorf cataclysmically

"u know u are also a joak too!" taunted Jigglypuff astonishingly.

"GAW HAW HAW" cried Ganondorf, his wax face melting

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

A quick shot of Jigglypuff submerging, with a cut to them reading the clue.

"Drive to the Persis Military Training Centre!" read Ganondorf

"we may be in last place but however i personaly believe that us americans and such as and such as and the iraq" said Jigglypuff.

Persis Military Training Centre: Sword Juggling Tent

Toon Link and King Dedede
2nd Drill: Juggling Swords

"Okay, we have to clock five seconds of juggling with one sword always in the air," said Toon Link nervously, holding a sword in one hand.

"…go!" said a man with a timer.

King Dedede hurled his left sword in the air. It twirled violently through the air and as Toon Link tried to read its path, he tossed the sword in his other hand up high. He caught the other sword, trembling nervously. King Dedede effortlessly caught the sword in one hand, right after he tossed the other up high.

"Time's up!" said the man.

"Yay!" cheered King Dedede, catching two swords with his left hand, and throwing up all of the swords in victory.

The swords flew with an arrow-like trajectory towards Toon Link, rocketing blade first towards his head.

"AAAAH!" screamed Toon Link, ducking for cover.

The swords narrowly missed his feet by inches, forming a circle around him.

"You idiot!" said Toon Link angrily.

"Okay, onto the next task!" announced the jolly penguin.

King Dedede waddled around.

Toon Link attempted to move out of the circle of swords, pushing one sword with all his might. It didn't budge.

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!" laughed King Dedede.

Toon Link grunted.

Persis Military Training Centre

Wolf and Samus

"These stupid frats have been following us all day…" said Wolf angrily, driving through the complex's entrance.

Fox and Falcon

Falcon drove, Fox sat in the back, letting his face sink into his hands.

"It's a paarty in the USA.." sung Falcon to the soft sound system of the car.

"You are such a loser," muttered Fox.

"Shut up!" sobbed Falcon, "Miley Cyrus is a talented and pretty young musician and she speaks to my heart! And she makes more money than you and she's way prettier so-"

Fox let out a long groan.

Wolf and Samus

Wolf screeched the car to a halt, parking awkwardly across two spaces in the parking lot. "Let's beat the frats!" he screamed, jumping out of the car and running towards the clue box.

Fox and Falcon

"????" screamed Fox, chugging down a beer.

Wolf and Samus

Clue-rip sound.

Fox and Falcon

Clue-rip sound.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 2nd Place

"Detour! Sword Training or Board Training?" read Samus.

"We're definitely doing Sword Training," said Wolf, "We're both famous video game warriors, so we shall do what we do best!"

"Welll…" said Samus, "Certainly I'm a famous video game warrior but all you do is sit in a ship and shoot people… …not very well…"

"Oh my god I've been over this so many times," said Wolf angrily, "I'm really not trying my hardest in Star Fox because it's not my game and I have to let that idiot over there…"

Fox and Falcon

"Hehehe! That tickles!" laughed Fox, plunging his hand deeper into the blade of the knife.

Wolf and Samus

"…win!" he growled, "If we were in a real battle I would inseminate him instantly! Instantly! I am a warrior and I am not a sissy as that game, which by the way is a fictional depiction of our personalities, leads you to believe!"

Wolf started twitching angrily and foaming from the mouth, crumpling the clue into a tiny, tiny ball.

"Okay," said Samus, thinking back to what her social-interaction-therapist said, "So you are foaming from the mouth and twitching and turning red and breathing heavily which means you are now…"

Samus thought. "…happy?!"

"Wrong. Emotion." screamed Wolf, gnashing his teeth so hard together that they broke.

"…s- s- saaaad?" said Samus, confused. "…saaad?"

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 3rd Place

"Detour!" read Falcon very slowly and with an irregular rhythm to the pace of his words, "Sword Training or Board Training?"

"I think we should do some sn- sn- snowboarding!" said Falcon excitedly.

'"I choose option C," laughed Fox, "We attend a kegger and we get totally wrecked!"

"And meet lots of new girls!" laughed Falcon.

…

"I wish I got invited to keggers," cried Fox quietly.

"I wish I knew a girl," sobbed Falcon softly.

Rural Begnion

Roy and Zelda
"Honey, navigating these maps are a nightmare," said Zelda, frustrated.

"I know you're doing your best, Zel," said Roy.

Kirby and Pikachu

"We haven't seen anyone since we left," said Pikachu, driving along, "and I just hope the adventure won't end today for me and Kirby. We've had the most amazing time, seen the most amazing things-"

Kirby let out a loud snore from the back.

"Aren't you supposed to be navigating?!" screamed Pikachu in his deep, gruff, manly voice.

"…yes I'd like a cherry pudding…" said Kirby, licking his lips, half asleep.

"That's really cute," said Pikachu, rolling his eyes.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"OMG we have a flats tyre!1" said Ganondorf, pointing to a flat tyre that may have been caused by the nail factory they were driving through two minutes before.

"horray" cheered Jigglypuff

"horray" cheered Ganondorf

Ganondorf and Jigglypuf hopped out of the car.

"NYOM NYOM NYOM" said Jigglypuff, eating the flat tyre.

"NYOM NYOM NYOM" said Ganondorf, eating the flat tyre.

The flat tyre wasn't fixed.

"at least we have eaten the nutritiously beneficial meal!!!!!" said Ganondof.

They died of rubber poisoning.

Persis Military Training Centre
Fencing Field

Toon Link and King Dedede
On 3rd Drill: Duel

"We're currently putting on our fencing uniforms for the third of our three drills," said Toon Link, "I just hope King Dedede can get through this task, because he's not a sword fighter and he's not really quick with his hands."

"I am however, quick with my mouth!" said King Dedede slyly.

"If you inhale them you'll get your mouth pierced by a sword!" said Toon Link.

"Nope, you'll get pierced by a sword!" laughed King Dedede.

"Wut?" said Toon Link.

King Dedede inhaled Toon Link. He put on the rest of his fencing uniform, and ran towards the field. "I'm ready!" announced King Dedede.

"Let me out!" screamed Toon Link.

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!" laughed King Dedede.

Toon Link grunted.

Wolf and Samus
On 1st Drill: Dummy Hacking

The timer started. Wolf did a ballerina rotation on one foot, stepping gracefully on the other and pushing his sword through a dummy's neck.

Samus walked up to a dummy and started to chip away at its polystyrene flesh.

Wolf did a running flip, landing at the feet of the dummy, slicing its legs and removing its body.

Samus continued to chip away at the same dummy.

Wolf performed some extravagant salsa moves with a polystyrene dummy, before slitting its head off with his teeth.

Samus continued to chip away at the same dummy.

Wolf looked over to Samus. "What are you doing, Samus?!" he screamed, "Why aren't you slicing any of the other dummies?"

"You mean this isn't a sculpting task?!" screamed Samus angrily, standing next to her half-completed duck sculpture.

Noticing two seconds left on the timer, Wolf quickly dived to slash the last four dummies in one slice.

A whistle sounded. The judges conferred. A drum roll sound played. Samus and Wolf sat in front of the camera, shaking hands with the head officiator and the coach. Samus waved to the camera as they waited for the scores on the screen.

"Score… 24 out of 30!" was announced over the PA system by a voice suspiciously like Mario's.

"Hooray!" cheered Wolf.

"Woo and yay!" cheered Samus.

Wolf and Samus
Finished 1st Drill

"Come on, let's catch up!" cheered Wolf, running along.

Fox and Falcon
On Board Training

"Dude, I'm not sure about this task," said Fox, "I mean… I haven't even snowboarded before."

"Fox," said Falcon, inspirational music playing in the background, "College, much like life is full of challenges. But if we can chug beers every Saturday night fast, then why can't we snowboard fast?"

…

…

"That analogy makes no sense on so many different levels," said Fox.

"Do it for Omega Omega Delta Sigma frat!" screamed Falcon.

"For Spaaarta!" screamed Fox, charging down the hill.

They stood on their snowboards, sliding down a mild hill at several kilometres an hour.

"This is insaaaaane!" screamed Falcon.

They continued to slide down the hill at two kilometres an hour.

Fencing Field

Toon Link and King Dedede
On 3rd Drill: Duel

"We're about to start our duels," said Toon Link, "We decided to pick the slowest-looking fencers possible because it's not so much about how powerful they are, but how quickly we can land a few hits."

"Ready!" said King Dedede, putting on his visor.

"Ready!" said Toon Link.

Toon Link: 0 Hits
King Dedede: 0 Hits

A whistle played.

A dub-over in a sports commentator-like voice said, "To complete this task, racers must land three hits on their opponent's upper body! Racers have unlimited time to complete this task, and may call a time out whenever they want!"

The camera panned over to Toon Link. Toon Link's opponent was a seven-foot, 200 kilo monster with a bodybuilder physique, who wielded a sword that was bigger than Toon Link.

Toon Link tried to swipe the man's stomach, but his opponent moved his sword quickly to block Link's little blade. The man quickly thrust his sword into Toon Link's side. The force, speed and power of the blade caused Toon Link to fall back and roll out of the fencing area.

"Time out!" called a referee.

Toon Link grunted. "Maybe I should've just picked a little guy and just fought him normally," he said, frustrated.

The camera panned over to King Dedede, who was battling a twelve-foot, 400 kilo dragon with muscles. Everywhere.

"Come on, King Dedede!" cheered Toon Link.

Noticing an opening, King Dedede slashed the dragon's thighs.

"You have to hit the upper body!" said the referee.

King Dedede tried to jump with his half-bodyweight sword and slash the dragon's stomach. The dragon moved his sword to block, causing King Dedede do do a half-backflip from the momentum, landing on his skull.

"…ow," said King Dedede.

"We have to change opponents," said Toon Link.

Death Canyon

Fox and Falcon
On Board Training

"Dude," laughed Falcon, after completing the first fifty metres of the course, "This is the tamest thing we've ever done! Extreme my ass!"

"Uh… Falcon…" said Fox, pointing to the almost vertical, 30 metre, 3-metre-wide drop they were about to ride on, with sharp rocks and gigantic stalagmites meeting them at the bottom.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" they both screamed.

They zoomed down the hill with virtually no control over their board at ninety kilometres an hour. With ice skidding underneath them and both of them falling onto their fronts, face-first down the hill, they both screamed. Their faces narrowly missed hitting sharp rocks and they came to a stop with only a couple of bruises.

…

"Dude, that was awesome!" cheered Falcon. "I'd do that any day!"

"Yeah!" cheered Fox. "This is amazing!"

"Piece of cake!" laughed Falcon, popping his shoulder back into the place, "This is such a pansy task!"

They saw a sign that read, "1/16th of the course completed."

"…we are so screwed," said Fox.

Sword Juggling Tent

Wolf and Samus

"We just sped through that first task," said Wolf, jogging over to the tent, "And now we're going to juggle some swords!"

"We saw what we think is King Dedede's car in the parking lot, so maybe we can still get first place," said Samus.

Fencing Field

Toon Link

"We just both took a time out," said Toon Link, "I've got two hits on my swordsman, who's being super-defensive and King Dedede doesn't have any yet."

"Normally I do…" said King Dedede, panting, "…a lot of sport… but this one of the hardest things… I've ever done…"

"You never do any exercise," commented Toon Link. "…and you've never worked a day in your life! All you do is eat food and get fat and tell people what to do!"

"…and I'm…" said King Dedede, panting heavily. "…extremely good at… …doing that…"

"You know," laughed Toon Link, "Maybe all of this starvation and exercise you have to endure is actually good for you!"

"You're right," said King Dedede, "From now on, I resolve to live and eat healthily, as what is life without-"

"OH MY GOD FRIED CHICKEN" screamed King Dedede, running and tackling a woman holding fast food. He ate all of the chicken, and her in one gulp.

Toon Link sighed.

"CHICKEN" screamed King Dedede, tackling a fire hydrant and gulping it down.

…

"…that's not even food!" said Toon Link.

Sword Juggling Tent

Wolf and Samus

"This is easy!" laughed Samus, the swords Wolf was throwing at her deflecting off her armour.

"That's because you're wearing protective armour and you never actually face the threat of being slashed by a sword!" said Wolf angrily. "And you're not even catching them, so we're not even really juggling them!"

"You're cute when you're angry," giggled Samus.

"Me… and cute… are not synonymous…" said Wolf angrily, twitching in his good eye, scrunching up his face angrily, holding up a puppy dog in one hand and an open claw in the other threateningly.

"Anyway," giggled Samus, picking up eleven swords at once, "Catch!"

Samus threw them all at Wolf.

"AAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Wolf. The swords, like a barrage of arrows from an army flew blade-first towards Wolf. They all merged and flew in a straight line towards Wolf's heart. Wolf quickly caught each oncoming sword and quickly tossed them in a quick flicking motion, alternating hands each time.

As Wolf was about to catch and throw his last sword, Samus exclaimed, Whee! That's great, and tossed all of the swords back.

"No! No! No!" screamed Wolf, diving out of the way.

Wolf turned to the judges, "How much time has passed?"

"Two seconds," said one of the judges.

"TWO SECONDS?!" screamed Wolf, catching and juggling the swords that changed direction mid-air and homed towards his neck, "This scene has gone on for hours! In fact, I don't think it's physically possible to say such a long sentence in less than five seconds, let alone all of the dialogue we've exchanged!"

"Three seconds," said the same judge.

"What are you running on, the Mayan calendar!" screamed Wolf angrily.

Samus on the other end, catching the swords one-by-one with her right hand started to javelin the swords back towards Wolf. "Hey Wolf, isn't this fun?" giggled Samus, spearing the swords back at him harder and harder.

"Samus! That's not even lobbing the swords to make it easier! You're trying to kill me!" screamed Wolf, catching every sword two inches before his neck and tossing it back with the same hand.

"And, time!" said one of the judges.

"That was not five seconds!" said Wolf angrily, tossing the last couple of swords towards Samus.

"Looks like you're right!" chuckled the other judge, "Turns out we lost count and you actually juggled for a minute and five seconds, not five seconds!"

The judges chuckled heartily.

"I hate this stupid, freaking task!" said Wolf angrily, taking a step towards the judges.

All of the swords zoomed straight past where he was standing a second ago.

"I think this task reaffirms my love for Wolf," said Samus to the camera.

"This task doesn't symbolise anything, you deluded old lady! It just means you're insane and you're trying to kill me!" screamed Wolf.

"That's his way of saying that he loves me," said Samus, "I think what's great about our relationship is that I can understand his Wolf language!"

"I SPEAK ENGLISH!" screamed Wolf, biting a metal pole in half with his teeth.

Fencing Field

King Dedede: Time Out, 0 Hits

"We just agreed in our simultaneous time out that I'll wait for Toon Link before I continue, and he's going to coach me after he's done," said King Dedede, stuffing several sandwiches into his mouth as he talked.

"Are you eating my half of the food?" shouted Toon Link angrily from twenty metres away, in the middle of his duel.

"Mmf course I'mm not!" said King Dedede angrily, munching.

Wolf and Samus
Finished 2nd Drill

"Come on," said Samus, running alongside Wolf, "This is to beat them for first!"

Toon Link: 2 hits

Toon Link's opponent, who was of similar height held the sword very closely to his body, waiting for Toon Link to pounce.

"Hyaa!" screamed Toon Link, slashing his sword in a quick, slitting motion towards his neck. His opponent blocked, holding up the sword tightly to his body.

Their swords locked, Toon Link dragged his sword back towards his body, and went to slash in the opposite direction. As his opponent went to block, he quickly pulled his sword around and slashed him in the first direction on the lower torso.

Toon Link: Finished
King Dedede: 0 hits

"Go Toon Link!" cheered King Dedede.

"Come on!" said Toon Link, dropping his sword and running towards King Dedede.

Wolf and Samus
On 3rd Drill: Fencing

"There it is!" said Wolf, sprinting towards the fencing equipment on the field.

"We can still beat these guys!" said Samus.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"This is for number one, bud," said Toon Link.

"Gee Toon Link, I dunno if I can take a little guy who's a lot quicker than me," said King Dedede.

"You're strong," said Toon Link, "Use that to your advantage!"

Wolf and Samus

"Come on, Wolf! We need to get our gear on!" said Samus, slipping on a fencing jacket over her heavy body armour.

"For the last time, YOU DON'T NEED THAT! YOU'VE ALREADY GOT A THICK LAYER OF BODY ARMOUR!" screamed Wolf.

Toon Link and King Dedede

Toon Link continued to whisper in King Dedede's ear. "You got that?" he asked.

Wolf and Samus

"We're going to get this task done in no time!" said Wolf, slipping on his visor.

King Dedede

The big fat bird, covered in white fencing armour holding a dinky sword stood up against his shorter opponent.

Death Canyon

Fox and Falcon
On Board Training

"Dude, this is actually pretty fun!" said Fox, riding alongside Falcon.

They both went down a steep hill and went up a ramp, clearing a five metre jump over a volcano.

"Actually, I think this calls for a beer!" said Falcon, taking a beer from the six-pack between his legs on the bottom of his board.

Falcon opened his beer and took a long sip, the thin ice beneath him collapsing as he went over it.

"You know, after those first few cliffs and those sharp rocks we almost broke our teeth on," said Fox, smiling, missing several teeth, "This task turned out to be really fun!"

"Yeah dude!" said Falcon, going first over a one-metre-wide ice bridge with a stream of lava several hundred metres below, the snow falling away beneath his feet as he went over, "It's actually not as bad as I thought it was!"

"Yeah dude!" said Fox, attempting to do a 360 spin over the same narrow, incredibly high, no-barrier bridge.

"Whoops!" laughed Fox, slipping over the edge slightly. He caught his falling board with his legs, and quickly but unstably hopped back onto the ice bridge.

"I think this was a piece of cake too!" laughed Falcon, finishing the bridge nearing the three hundred metre almost vertical drop.

"Hey dude! What does this say?" laughed Fox, pointing to a sign.

They stopped their boards.

"Warning: Death Valley… death toll: 18," read Fox.

An underground blizzard started, blowing heavy snow towards them.

"Is that called Death Valley because it's dead boring?" laughed Falcon, snorting.

"Dunno dude," said Fox, taking another sip.

"Either way," said Falcon.

They grinned at each other. "COWABUNGA!" they screamed.

Two seconds later…

"Ow," said Falcon, his spine, shoulders and legs dislocated and twisted in a very origami-like formation.

"Dude, are you okay?!" said Fox, who landed on the soft cushion that was Falcon's body.

"I'm okay because you're here," said Falcon softly, stroking Fox's fur.

"Uh… dude… your neck is sort of, not facing your front… anymore…" said Fox.

"Is that a metaphor? Is that a metaphor for love?" said Falcon softly and romantically.

Falcon looked down at his broken body.

"No it's not!" he sobbed.

Fencing Field

King Dedede: 0 Hits

King Dedede stood in his ready position. The referee blew his whistle.

"You know what to do!" cheered Toon Link.

King Dedede eyed his opponent, who was half his size. His opponent started to repeatedly slash the bird in the stomach, slashing him with his sword repeatedly.

King Dedede raised his thin little sword and went for a counter-attack, trying to lodge one into his opponent's side. His opponent blocked, and their swords pushed against each other's. King Dedede used his fat birdy strength to push over his opponent. As his opponent lay on the ground, King Dedede quickly stabbed his opponent.

"One hit!" called the referee.

Wolf and Samus
On 3rd Drill

"Okay! We're ready!" screamed Wolf, pumping himself up, jumping up and down, and then running towards the fighting area.

King Dedede: 1 Hit

King Dedede sat on his opponent, crushing his legs. King Dedede quickly swiped his opponent twice as he was down grabbing his legs in pain.

"Two, three hits for King Dedede!" said the referee. "Task complete!"

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 1st Place

Toon Link ran and grabbed the clue, opening it quickly. "Make your way to Merv's Fun Water Resort and swim to your next pit stop!"

"Teams must now drive over seven kilometres to the pit stop for this leg of the race, Merv's Fun Water Resort!" said Master Hand, "Once here, they must swim the length of the planet's longest outdoor swimming pool, a length of 150 metres to get to the pit stop mat! Teams must hurry, as the last team to arrive, may be eliminated!"

"Warning, the last team to arrive may be eliminated!" read Toon Link.

"This is it! This is for number one!" screamed Toon Link.

"And then I'll get…" said King Dedede, pondering at a hamburger stand three metres away from Toon Link, "…two family sized value meals and a-"

"NO FOOD!" screamed Toon Link, dragging King Dedede away by the collar.

"Waah! Waah!" sobbed King Dedede.

Wolf and Samus

Two whistles sounded. Wolf, in true fighting spirit unleashed a barraged of non-stop attacks on their well-trained opponents. After throwing every combination possible, Wolf did a fakey and then quickly landed three successive hits to the side.

"Three hits for Wolf!" called the referee.

The camera panned over to Samus. Samus's six-foot opponent continued to slash her repeatedly, with Samus not defending herself. She kicked the man in the shins and as he grabbed his leg in pain, Samus quickly slashed him thrice.

"Task complete for Wolf and Samus!" called the referee.

Samus kicked the man in the shins again.

"Ow!" he whimpered.

"Samus, the task is over, you don't have to do that anymore," said Wolf.

Samus started cutting the man's skin with a blade near his liver.

"Samus!" snapped Wolf.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 2nd Place

"Make your way to Merv's Fun Water Resort and swim to your next pit stop!" read Wolf, "Warning, the last team to arrive may be eliminated!"

"We have to beat the fatty and the little kid!" said Samus, running towards their car.

Persis Military Training Centre Carpark

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Come on! We've still got a little lead on them!" said Toon Link, Wolf and Samus thirty metres behind on the footpath.

Wolf and Samus

"Our car's right at the gate," said Wolf, pointing to the nearest jeep.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"We parked all the way near the vehicle entry spot because we didn't think we could get a spot," said Toon Link, jogging along.

Wolf and Samus

"Buckle up tight!" said Wolf, jumping cowboy-style through the window into the driver's seat.

Toon Link and King Dedede

King Dedede opened the car. Toon Link threw their bags into the back.

"Come on!" said Toon Link, shutting the boot, "We have to beat them out of here!"

"No probs!" said King Dedede, buckling up.

Wolf and Samus

Wolf revved the engine, reversed quickly and then sped his way through the carpark.

Toon Link and King Dedede

King Dedede started the jeep and drove the car straight out towards the entry/exit lane.

An aerial shot of the two cars played. Wolf's car, speeding down a long straight towards the exit was cut in front of by King Dedede's car. King Dedede stopped his car at the one lane exit.

"Why are you stopping?" said Toon Link.

"Safe driving!" chuckled King Dedede.

Wolf and Samus

Wolf, whose car was being blocked by Toon Link and King Dedede honked his horn. "Come on! Move!"

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Why are you adjusting the mirrors and the seat? You've been driving this same car with the same settings the whole day!" said Toon Link angrily, Wolf blaring his horn loudly behind.

"Well… I need to be safe!" said King Dedede.

"You've never cared about my safety at any point in this trip!" said Toon Link angrily.

"I said I need to be safe!" said King Dedede angrily.

King Dedede removed Toon Link's seatbelt and put it on his own seat.

Wolf and Samus

"We're not going to be able to get past!" said Wolf angrily, honking this horn.

"There's only one thing we can do…" said Samus, dramatic music playing in the background.

"We have to deconstruct their car so they no longer have a car!" screamed Samus desperately.

Samus jumped out and tried to pull off the back components of King Dedede's car: the exhaust pipe, the back bumper plate, the licence plate,

"They're not coming off!" screamed Samus.

"That's because it's a car, Samus," said Wolf, shielding his face in shame from confused onlookers.

"Then we have to eat their car!" screamed Samus, jumping out of the jeep, and then biting on their back bumper. "If we can consume all of their car, then there's no car left for them to drive when they get to the pit stop! Mwahaha!" Samus cackled manically.

"Samus, this is one of those things that sounds really good on paper…" explained Wolf.

Toon Link and King Dedede

Toon Link looked behind.

…

"…is she trying to eat our car?!" said Toon Link, confused.

Wolf and Samus

"…basically, nobody in their right minds would EAT A CAR!!!" screamed Wolf angrily.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

"NYOM NYOM NYOM" said Jigglypuff, eating the carpet on the back floor of the car.

"THEse LEATHeR seats are A good substitutes for THE reaL food" said Ganondorf, eating the glove compartment.

"we ARE LOADED with THE MONEYS now that we're not spending tiem on fewd" said Jigglypuff, holding up a five dollar bill.

"OMG where's our other moneys???" said Ganondorf aggrily.

Death Canyon

Fox and Falcon
On Board Training

"Woooo!" screamed the frats, narrowly both avoiding a face plant as they made their way down the last, large hill.

"That was so amazing!" said Falcon, taking a clue from a clue box.

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 3rd Place

"Make your way to Merv's Fun Water Resort and swim to your next pit stop!" read Falcon.

"Now how do we get out?" said Fox.

They saw more terrain below them.

They gulped.

Persis Military Training Centre Carpark

Wolf honked his horn repeatedly, King Dedede's car still blocking the path in front of him.

"Hurry up!" screamed Wolf.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Are you done yet?" said Toon Link angrily.

"Okay!" said King Dedede, starting the car and driving left onto the main road.

Wolf and Samus

"They're finally moving!" screamed Wolf, accelerating the car as fast as he could.

Toon Link and King Dedede

Wolf and Samus's car zoomed past. "Losers!" screamed Samus as they sailed by.

"…and then I make my play!" laughed King Dedede, quickly U-turning and going the opposite direction.

Wolf and Samus

"Oh hot dog," said Wolf angrily, looking at King Dedede's car going in the opposite direction, "They totally just pulled a move on us."

"Well don't wait!" said Samus angrily, turning the steering wheel.

Explained Wolf, "Samus, generally we have to check before we-"

Wolf noticed Samus already leaned over and was turning the steering wheel, and their car was running straight into the path of an oil tanker.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" screamed Wolf.

The oil tanker rolled over and caused a five-oil-tanker pileup behind them.

"Phew!" said Wolf and Samus at the same time.

"Good to know everyone's okay," said Samus, assessing the camera crew and sound guy in the car.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"You see, there's a reason why I was waiting there," said King Dedede, "After they get angry, they speed ahead and maybe we gain a minute or two on them."

"Wow," said Toon Link, impressed, "Maybe we can still win this leg!"

Toon Link
Post-leg interview

"This leg has made me realise that King Dedede's the sneaky, tactician of the team," said Toon Link. "And maybe if we actually work together like this we can do well!"

Wolf and Samus

"King Dedede and Toon Link just shook us with a quick U-Turn," said Wolf, waiting at a stop light, "So now we reckon we're about a minute behind them."

"But Wolfy here's gonna do everything he can to catch up," said Samus, grinning.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"We know that Wolf will pull every single move possible to catch up to us," said Toon Link anxiously in the back seat, "So we just have to get our swimming mode on and hope we can beat them!"

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 3rd Place

"Come on, dude, frats to the finish!" cheered Fox, getting in the front seat of the car.

Wolf and Samus

The stop light went to green. Wolf squeezed through two cars in the gap between two lanes and accelerated very quickly.

"Wolf is driving amazingly," said Samus.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"We're now on a long piece of highway and then we hit the resort on the right," said Toon Link, reading the map.

Wolf and Samus

Wolf continued to weave through cars, moving up to higher and higher gears.

"We are catching up!" said Wolf, quickly going on the wrong side of the road to overtake a car.

Merv's Fun Water Resort

Dramatic camera angles and individual pans of King Dedede, Toon Link, Wolf and Samus's faces.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Crap, that's their car behind!" said Toon Link, peering out the back window to see the other car in the distance.

Wolf and Samus

"I see you!" said Wolf, grinning evilly.

"I know you do, I'm in the same car!" giggled Samus.

"I'm not talking about you!" screamed Wolf, making his crazy eye-twitchy face.

Toon Link and King Dedede

King Dedede's car slowed to the intersection, a right turn across traffic to the entrance to the resort.

"Okay, we got a green light but we're trying to do one last move," said King Dedede.

Wolf's car pulled up directly behind them.

Wolf and Samus

"Whatever you do, follow them slowly behind so we both make the light," said Samus.

Toon Link and King Dedede

The light turned amber.

Wolf and Samus

"Get ready," said Samus.

Toon Link and King Dedede

The light turned red.

Wolf and Samus

"He's not moving again!" screamed Wolf angrily.

Toon Link and King Dedede

The traffic going across them started to accelerate. Before they reached any speed, King Dedede put his foot down hard on the accelerator. He narrowly cleared all of the oncoming cars, and they continued to cross the intersection, blocking Wolf and Samus after he cleared the turn.

"We shook them!" cheered Toon Link, peering at Wolf and Samus, who were still at the intersection.

Wolf and Samus

"Drat!" screamed Wolf angrily, slamming his fist on the dashboard.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Come on! Now we have to swim to our pit stop!" said Toon Link, running out of the car.

"Let's go surfin'!" said King Dedede, quickly changed into a surfer's outfit, wearing shades and holding up a board.

Wolf and Samus

"Come on," said Wolf angrily, waiting at the light.

Merv's Mega Pool

Toon Link and King Dedede

They ran up to the start of the pool.

"There's the pit stop!" said Toon Link, pointing to a mat on the other end of the pool.

"Let's move!" cheered King Dedede, grabbing Toon Link and jumping into the pool.

Wolf and Samus

The light turned green. Wolf put his foot down on the accelerator.

Toon Link and King Dedede

Toon Link and King Dedede started jumping along, pushing off the bottom of the pool with each step.

"We have to get an advantage!" said Toon Link, swimming along slowly through the pool.

Wolf and Samus

"Okay, let's swim!" said Samus, in her zero suit.

Wolf quickly parked the car, took off his top and took off his pants to his board shorts underneath.

"…let's swim," said Wolf in a deep voice, winking at the camera.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"This pool keeps on going forever!" said Toon Link, swimming freestyle through the pool.

The camera zoomed back a fair way to Wolf and Samus, who jumped into the start of the pool.

"They're here!" said King Dedede, still jumping and wading along through the pool.

Wolf and Samus

Wolf and Samus both swam quickly and efficiently, conserving energy with their smooth, fluid strokes underwater.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"This is the halfway point, dude!" said King Dedede, nearing a shallow point in the middle of the pool.

"I'm struggling!" said Toon Link, panting.

"Let's have a mini-break!" said King Dedede.

Wolf and Samus

"???" mumbled Wolf underwater, catching up to Toon Link and King Dedede.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Kids!" said King Dedede, pointing to a bunch of 11 and 12 year olds in the pool, "If you see a wolf and a girl swimming, please splash them and try and maim them so they can't make the distance!"

"yaaay!" cheered the kids.

Wolf and Samus

Wolf started running through the pool for several seconds. "We're closing in on them!"

The camera panned twenty-five metres forward, where Toon Link and King Dedede started to swim from the halfway point.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Come on," said Toon Link softly, slowly wading through the pool, breathing heavily.

"You can do it, bud!" said King Dedede, wading along.

The camera panned twenty metres backwards, where Wolf and Samus were nearing the halfway point.

Wolf and Samus

"We're doing this!" cheered Samus.

Suddenly, several pool patrons started to splash water into Samus's eyes and mouth.

"Gaa!" screamed Samus angrily, punching the kids.

"How dare they!" screamed Wolf, being attacked by a barrage of splashing children.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Less than fifty metres to go!" screamed Toon Link. "Last lap!"

Wolf and Samus

"Damn it!" said Wolf, finally escaping the clutches of the splashing children, diving back in.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Come on, Link!" said King Dedede, pulling Toon Link along, as he continued to wade along, and Toon Link floated.

Wolf and Samus

"These guys are toast!" said Samus, closing to a fifteen metre gap.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"I can see the pit stop!" said King Dedede, piggybacking Toon Link along.

Wolf and Samus, ten metres behind, continued to catch up.

"The end is right there!" screamed Toon Link, exhausted, standing on King Dedede's back.

Pit Stop

Lots of dramatic camera angles.

King Dedede, five metres in front of Wolf and Samus neared the end of the pool. With Wolf and Samus gaining every second, Toon Link jumped off King Dedede's back onto the dry land.

"Get out, bud!" said Toon Link, holding out his arm.

Wolf and Samus neared the wall.

King Dedede lifted himself up, and started to roll over.

Wolf and Samus were a stroke away from the end of the swim.

King Dedede had his chest and arms on dry land. Toon Link tried to pull him out.

Wolf and Samus reached the wall and both grabbed the ledge.

King Dedede, with all his might pulled himself up with his arms. He pulled one leg out.

Wolf, with the aid of his legs, tried to pull himself up. He lifted one of his legs out of the pool.

King Dedede rolled out of the pull, his bird body lying flat on the ground.

"Hurry!" said Toon Link, trying to help King Dedede up.

Wolf got out of the pool and grabbed his arms out to help Samus.

King Dedede stood up. "Run!" screamed Toon Link, pointing to the pit stop ten metres in front of them. They started to jog up to the mat.

Samus leapt out of the pool. "Catch them!" she screamed.

King Dedede and Toon Link ran straight ahead towards the mat. Wolf and Samus attempted to slip by the side of King Dedede. King Dedede, now wearing full hockey gear side-checked Wolf, who fell on the ground. Samus weaved around the falling Wolf, and ran onto the mat. Toon Link ran onto the mat. King Dedede continued to waddle along at his excruciatingly slow pace.

Wolf jumped out, untied the tie off his nice suit and attempted to lasso King Dedede. He grabbed King Dedede's ear with the tie and pulled him backwards. King Dedede fell on his back. Wolf, at full pace tried to sprint around King Dedede. King Dedede, lying on the ground, put out his leg, tripping Wolf over a metre from the mat. King Dedede got up again, and started to waddle slowly before the mat.

"CAN YOU WALK WITH A BIT MORE PACE?!" screamed Toon Link, extremely annoyed.

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!" laughed King Dedede, walking in the style of a musical, taking giddy little steps towards the mat, five metres in front of him.

Wolf, angry and frothing from the mouth jumped up again and tried to tackle King Dedede.

King Dedede chuckled, too heavy to be pushed over by Wolf. A metre before the mat, King Dedede pushed Wolf off his back and strolled onto the mat.

"Yes!" cheered Toon Link.

"Toon Link and King Dedede…" said Master Hand. "You are team number…"

Toon Link and King Dedede
Arrived 1st

"…one!" he said.

"Yes!" cheered Toon Link.

King Dedede did his twirly walking-in-a-circle taunt. "Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!" he laughed.

"And I have some more good news," said Master Hand, "As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won a lifetime's supply of gourmet breakfast products!"

"Yay!" cheered Toon Link.

"…sponsored by the King Dedede Manufacturing Corporation!" said Master Hand.

"WHAT?!" said Toon Link.

"Every day, the King Dedede Manufacturing Corporation will deliver special King Dedede-related breakfast products straight to your door, such as: King Dedede waffles!"

A Koopa held up a plate of waffles with King Dedede's image stamped into the waffle pattern.

"…King Dedede toast!"

A Koopa held up a plate of toast with King Dedede's face in the toast.

"…and King Dedede bacon!"

The camera panned on a dead pig with King Dedede's face drawn on it.

"Could this prize get even lamer?!" said Toon Link angrily.

"It gets better! All of this will be hand cooked by one of Dream Land's most famous celebrity chefs…" said Master Hand,

"…chef Kawasaki?" said Toon Link, suddenly excited.

"…King Dedede!" said Master Hand and King Dedede in unison.

Toon Link grunted.

"He'll be there for breakfast every day, and this prize is so good that you will be legally obliged to let him in your house everyday!" said Master Hand.

"If you just wanted to spend more time with me you could've said so!" said Toon Link angrily.

"And guess what?" said Master Hand, "This prize is for you both!"

"Yay!" cheered King Dedede.

"Both?" said Toon Link.

Another King Dedede walked up to them. "That's right! Me, King Dedede!"

"…it's King Dedede!" cheered King Dedede.

Muttered Toon Link softly, "But there can't be two King Dededes, because-"

"PARADOX?!" screamed everyone.

The universe imploded.

Wolf and Samus
Arrived 2nd

Wolf walked onto the mat. "Wolf and Samus, you're team number two!"

"That's alright," said Samus.

"That was a pretty intense battle for first, guys," said Master Hand.

"Yeah, we didn't come on top today, and these guys are stronger than we thought they were," said Wolf.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Post-Leg Interview

"I think King Dedede's starting to suss out what the race is really about," said Toon Link, "And maybe if we work together like this, we'll be able to win the whole thing!"

Wolf and Samus
Post-Leg Interview

"Toon Link and King Dedede…" said Samus, "They've got a very small bag of tricks and they've used them all today."

"Today was an absolute fluke for them," said Wolf, "We know they're good at some things but they're not going to be at the top for very long."

Dramatic music played.

Persis Military Training Centre Carpark

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 3rd Place

"We are heading to the pit stop, and we think we're in third," said Fox, driving out of the carpark.

Roy and Zelda

"We are finally at the training centre," said Roy, "And we're just still hoping there's another team around."

Fox and Falcon

"Dude!" said Fox, pointing ahead.

"What?!" screamed Falcon dramatically, spit-taking his coke onto Fox.

"There's another team! And must you do this to me every time?" said Fox angrily.

"Do what?!" screamed Falcon dramatically, spitting another mouthful of cola onto Fox.

"Stop spitting beverages onto me!" said Fox angrily.

"Stop what?!" screamed Falcon dramatically, sp-

Roy and Zelda

"It's the frats?" said Zelda, "They left ages before us!"

Their two cars met, Fox and Roy rolling down their windows.

"Guys, we haven't seen anyone else around!" said Fox, "We haven't seen Kirby's team or Ganondorf's team here!"

"Roy! We're not in last!" cheered Zelda.

"Thanks guys!" said Roy, driving into the carpark.

"We thought we were last," said Zelda, "But if the next task isn't too hard, maybe we can stay in the race!"

Kilvas Highway

Kirby and Pikachu

"We are pretty stuffed…" said Kirby, fiddling with the map in the back seat, "We just can't find the city on this map."

"We're both looking at a map to try and find where we are," said Pikachu, reading his map upside-down.

"Hey! Here we are!" said Kirby excitedly.

"Where?!" said Pikachu.

Kirby pointed to a drawing he made of himself and Pikachu on his map.

"Cute," said Pikachu, "We have to find where we are though!"

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"OMG lok!!!!" said jigglypuff xcitedly, "it's another team"

"hooray hooray" said Ganondorf, "now we have more body parts to sell in caes we have not enuff moneys!!!"

"ho ho ho ganondof you crack me up!!!" said Jigglypuff

"I literally will when I sell ur body parts!!!" said Ganondorf

"omg I don't think your joking now" said Jigglypuff, scared and she was screaming in scared. Ness.

Kirby and Pikachu

"Hey! That's Jigglypuff and Ganondorf behind!" said Kirby, pointing out back.

"Aww, man!" said Pikachu, "They were ages behind us!"

"We really weren't that glad to see Jigglypuff and Ganondorf catching up to us," said Kirby in a voiceover.

"But we figured that if we could get to the place at the same time, maybe we could beat them to the mat!" said Pikachu.

Ganondorf stopped his car. "hey guys follow us!" he shouted with his windows rolled down. "We kNOw the way!"

Kirby hopped out of the back seat and scampered over towards Ganondorf's front window. "Are you sure? Can I see a map as proof?"

"yes this kind man GAVE us THE DIRectiONS" said Ganondorf, holding up a map with red pen marked on it, and a disembodied fist that was still gripping the paper.

"Uh…" said Kirby, acting suspiciously, "I don't think you have a map."

"o yeah?" said Ganondorf angrily, bringing the map closer to Kirby.

"I don't think so!" said Kirby, grinning slightly evilly.

"o yeah?" said Ganondorf, holding the map up to Kirby's face.

…

Ganondorf waved the map in Kirby's face.

…

Kirby snatched the map and bolted towards the car. "Drive! Drive! Drive!" he screamed.

Pikachu pushed his foot down hard on the accelerator.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 5th Place

"Awesome move, Kirby!" said Pikachu, giving Pikachu a high-five.

"We just pulled a pretty bold move on them," said Kirby, buckling up his seatbelt, "We know the way to go and hopefully that will give us enough of a lead."

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

"LITTle Did tHey KNOW that that was a fake map!!!!" cackled Ganondorf evilly, holding up a cheeseburger wrapper. "THIS is The REAL one! A perfect copy!"

Kirby and Pikachu

"Aww man!" said Kirby, disappointed, inspecting at the map, "The rest of the route is along like, two roads! It's impossible to miss! Even dummies like them could probably figure out the way to the destination!"

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"HONEY WE'RE heRE" said Ganondorf, crashing the car into the feature display in an art museum.

"HONEY I don't think this is it WHEre are the chicken mcnuggets?!?!" said Jigglypuff "it clearLY stated that's on THE cLUE!1!1 and there's know CHICken McNuggets hear!"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" said the furious gallery owner.

"Where's my mcnuggets, biatch" said Gaonondorf, pulling out an gun!

Persis Military Training Centre

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 4th Place

"Detour! Sword Training or Board Training?" read Roy.

"I think we should do sword training," said Zelda, "I don't want to break my legs!"

"You sure you can fight someone with a sword though?" said Roy.

"ROOY!" screamed Zelda, "I don't want to break my legs!"

Downtown Sienne

Fox and Falcon

"And we are totally heading to the pitstop," said Falcon to the camera.

"We are totally going to meet some beach chicks!" said Fox, grinning slyly, driving into a deep dark cave.

Shrieking orchestral music played.

Persis Military Training Centre

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 5th Place

"We're about to turn into the centre," said Kirby to the camera, "and we're certainly second to last."

"We need to kick some butt on this next task, bud!" said Pikachu.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

"we r trying to find the next turn off!" said Ganondorf, driving the car at several kilometres an hour.

"omg it's on the right!" said Jigglypuff excitedly, pointing to a sign.

"now it should be somewhere on the right" said Ganondorf.

"omg stop ignoring me! It's on the right!" said Jigglypuff.

"where could it possibly be" said Ganondorf.

"aaaiieee" screamed Jigglypuff frustrateredly.

A Cave

Fox and Falcon

Fox continued to drive along in a cave. In pitch black.

"…duuuude…" said Falcon, "Are you going the right way?"

"I dunno dude," said Fox. "Let's swap."

They jumped out of the car and swapped seats.

Falcon continued to drive along in pitch black.

"…yeah… I think this is the right way," said Falcon.

…

The car suddenly came to a halt. Sounds of glass shattering played. Shrieking orchestral music.

The Smashy Amazing Race

Fox and Falcon
Heading to the pit stop

The car smashed against a cave wall.

"Dude!" screamed Fox.

"We are totally going the wrong way!" said Falcon angrily.

"Try left!" suggested Fox.

Falcon reversed the car, and then drove forward, turning left. They smashed into another cave wall. Shrieking orchestral music played.

"Where the hell are we?!" screamed Fox, making a shocked face.

Fox spotted the light at the end of the cave. "Hey! We totally just drove into a cave!"

"Yeah dude! Stupid frat boy mistake!" laughed Falcon.

Falcon drove out of the cave. "Hey! At least there was no harm done, right?" laughed Falcon.

The cameraman panned on the multiple bruises and wounds they had all sustained.

Persis Military Training Centre

Roy and Zelda
On 1st Drill: Dummy Hacking

"Okay Zel, we have to hack all of these dummies artistically in two minutes," said Roy.

The music started.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 5th Place

"Come on, let's find a spot!" said Kirby, drumming on the back of Pikachu's head nervously.

"Kirbs, that doesn't really help!" said Pikachu, irritated.

Kirby drummed softer on Pikachu's head.

"That's not exactly what I meant," said Pikachu.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

"hey guys! I'll pAY you 200 dollars for ur taxi!!!" said Ganondorf at a stop light to the taxi next to them.

"omg we already have a car!!!" said Jigglypuff, "ur stupid will!"

"shut up tara at least I'm trying my best!!!!!" screamed Ganondorf.

Roy and Zelda
On 1st Drill: Dummy Hacking

The Blue Danube played. Roy slashed dummies in time with the music, whilst Zelda repeatedly disembowelled one dummy that sort of resembled Roy.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 5th Place

"Whee!" said Kirby, piggybacking Pikachu to the clue. Pikachu grabbed a clue out of the box.

"Detour! Sword Training or Board Training?" read Pikachu.

"Snowboarding could take forever!" said Kirby, "Let's do the swords!"

"Yeah!" said Pikachu.

Kirby put on his blue, spiky wig. "I only fight for my friends!" he exclaimed in a deep voice.

Kirby put on his red wig. "Hey guys! I got cut!"

Kirby put on a smoother, blue wig. "みんな、見ていて-"

"Kirby! We have a race! We have a race!" screamed Pikachu, dragging Kirby off by the hand.

Roy and Zelda
Finished 1st Drill

"You did great, Roy!" cheered Zelda.

"Let's go! We got two more!" said Roy.

Merv's Fun Water Resort

Fox and Falcon

Triumphant music played. Fox and Falcon, still wearing their day-to-day uniforms swam the last lengths of the pool, got out and strolled onto the pit stop.

"Fox and Falcon," said Master Hand, "You're team number three!"

Fox and Falcon
Arrived 3rd

"Awesome!" said Fox.

"Awesomelicious," said Falcon.

"Awesometopia!" said Fox.

"Awesomeriffic!" said Falcon.

"Why?" cried Master Hand internally, "Whyyy???"

"Awesoma-awesome!" said Fox.

"WHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY????" cried Master Hand internally.

Persis Military Training Centre

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

Ganondorf ripped open the clue with his bare hands.

"Detour! Sword Training or Board Training?" read Jigglypuff.

"Let's do Sword Training!" declared Ganondorf, wearing a medieval battle costume.

Kirby and Pikachu
On 1st Drill: Hacking Dummies

"ピカチュウ,! ピカチュウ,!" screamed Pikachu, holding a knife between his teeth and slitting a dummy.

"みんな、見ていてくれ!" said Kirby, disembowelling a dummy with a spinning slash.

Roy and Zelda
On 2nd Drill: Juggling Swords

"ROOY!" screamed Zelda, struggling to pick up a sword, "This is toooooo heavy!"

"Zel, that's because it's on the bottom of the pile," said Roy.

"Then move it! MOOOVE IT!" screamed Zelda.

Kirby and Pikachu
Finished 1st Drill

"YOU FINISHED TASK COMPONENT" declared some random Japanese guy excitedly.

"Arigato gozaimashita," said Kirby and Pikachu, both bowing.

Roy and Zelda
On 2nd Drill: Juggling Swords

"You have to catch the sword, and then quickly throw it back," explained Roy to a sobbing Zelda.

Kirby and Pikachu
On 2nd Drill: Juggling Swords

The camera panned over to Kirby and Pikachu, who came into the tent.

"These swords are gigantic!" said Kirby, pointing to Zelda's pile of swords.

"We have a set of smaller swords," said one of the drill instructors, pointing to a pile of pocket knives.

"…yaaay!" cheered Kirby and Pikachu, throwing them everywhere in celebration.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
On 1st Drill: Hacking Dummies

"HACKING DUMMIES" said Jigglypuff, standing on a snowboard.

"HACKING DUMMIES" said Ganondorf, standing on Jigglypuff who was standing on a snowboard, crushing her face.

A buzzer sound played.

Kirby and Pikachu
On 2nd Drill: Juggling Swords

"Whee!" cheered Kirby and Pikachu, juggling the knives to each other with ease, twirling knives with their feet as they juggled.

"A WINNER IS YOU" said the same random Japanese guy.

"Good luck, guys!" said Kirby, running out of the tent.

Roy and Zelda
On 2nd Drill: Juggling Swords

"They got it done so fast, because they were using the little swords!" said Zelda angrily.

"Just make sure you don't get cut with the knives," said Roy.

"I won't," said Zelda.

They clumsily juggled the knives for five seconds.

"Your time is up!" said the judge.

"Yaay!" cheered Zelda, putting her arms up in celebration.

"ZEL!" screamed Roy.

Zelda looked up. A knife, still flying in the air briefly cut her arm. "ROOOY!" she screamed.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Finished 1st Drill

"YOU FINISH NOW" said the random Japanese guy.

"Yaaay!" cheered Jigglypuff and Ganondorf, running away from the field which was now on fire.

Fencing Field

Kirby and Pikachu
On 3rd Task: Duel

"Okay, quickly! We have to put on all of this gear for our fight!" said Kirby, pointing to a complete fencing uniform, which included a fencing jacket, fencing pants, fencing vests, masks, underarm protectors and breast protectors.

They both grabbed their fencing mask and waddled onto the field with their swords.

Roy and Zelda
Finished 2nd Task

"Come on, Zel!" said Roy, jogging over to the fencing field, "If we get this done quick we can stay in!"

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Juggling Swords

"THIS TASK IS SO EASY" screamed Jigglypuff, throwing twelve swords at Ganondorf.

"OW" said Ganondorf, all of the swords impaling him at various arteries throughout the body.

Kirby and Pikachu

"Okay! Pick our partners!" said Kirby.

They picked two children/midget-ish looking people.

Roy and Zelda

"I know you can do this!" said Roy, helping Zelda put on the finishing touches of her uniform.

Roy and Zelda
Post-leg Interview

"I was really proud of myself because I was the only girl that did this task today," said Zelda.

"Actually, I think Samus did as well," said Roy.

"Yeah, but she's like, some evil, man-freak, thing!" said Zelda angrily.

Kirby and Pikachu

Kirby and Pikachu, with their super-quick hands launched many jabs and slashes to their opponents, who were constantly on the backfoot.

Pikachu, who was wielding the sword with his teeth, slashed his short opponent in the shoulder, getting his first hit.

Roy and Zelda

Roy, with a barrage of fakes and quick hits quickly disposed of his opponent. Zelda, against a female competitor used all her might in several attacks, all of which were blocked.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Finished 2nd Task

"We Juggled the swords very well!" said Ganondorf, covered in swords, blade-first into his body.

Kirby: 1 hit
Pikachu: 2 hits

Pikachu continued to slash back and forth in the same repeating pattern. His opponent, who started to tire lost his concentration and let Pikachu slash him.

"Go Pikachu!" said Kirby, drawing his sword back in, taking a break to cheer Pikachu.

His opponent's guard down, Kirby quickly sliced his opponent in the stomach. "Tricked ya!" said Kirby.

"One more, Kirby!" cheered Pikachu.

Roy: 3 hits
Zelda: 0 hits

"ROOY! I can't do this!" moaned Zelda, launching powerful but slow attacks towards her opponent, who blocked them all.

"Zel, call a time out!" said Roy.

Kirby: 2 hits

Kirby jumped on his opponent's shoulder and delivered the last blow.

"Yay!" cheered Kirby and Pikachu.

Pikachu scampered over to retrieve the clue. Clue-ripping sound.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 4th Place

"You can do it!" cheered Pikachu to Zelda as they ran past.

"Make your way to Merv's Fun Water Resort and swim to your next pit stop!" read Kirby.

"Aww man, I'm not sure about swimming!" said Pikachu, running towards the car.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"HURRY zElDA" taunted Ganondorf, putting his vest on his legs and his pants on his head, "u don't want to get beet'd by Jigglypuff and Ganondorrf!"

"Beet'd as in beetrooted?" said Jigglypuff.

Zelda: 0 hits

"Rooy! They're really mean!" quietly sobbed Zelda.

"Zel! Don't listen to them!" said Roy, "Use this to motivate you to beat them!"

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"we R ready to fite!" said Ganondorf, wearing his mask as a shoe, wearing his actual shoes on his hands and his gloves on the other foot and one of his ears.

"NO GOOD UNIFORM" said some random Japanese guy.

A buzzer sound play.

"omg what's wrong with our uniforms?!" said Jigglypuff, wearing a toupee and not a fencing uniform.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 4th Place

"I don't know about this water," said Pikachu nervously, driving along.

"Pikachu, don't psyche yourself out!" said Kirby, taking floating vests and a tube out of one of his bags, "I'm gonna help you swim there!"

"Thanks bud!" said Pikachu, still slightly nervous.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"we r ready" said Jigglypuff, wearing Kiss makeup.

A buzzer sound played.

Zelda: 0 hits

"I know you're strong," explained Roy, "But here you only get a hit if you're quick! It doesn't matter how hard you hit them!"

"Okay, got it!" said Zelda, suddenly motivated.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"we r ready" said Ganondorf, wearing an octopus costume.

A buzzer sound played.

Zelda: 0 hits

"Ready, Zelda?" said Roy.

"I'm ready!" screamed Zelda triumphantly.

With war-battle music raging in the background, Zelda walked towards to the fencing field.

Zelda tripped over a rock. "ROOY!" she wailed.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"we r ready" said Ganondorf, wearing a stormtrooper costume.

"Okay, that's good enough, just go fight," said the referee, lowering his head in pity.

Zelda: 0 hits

A whistle sounded. Zelda faced her muscly female counterpart.

Zelda faked a hit to the left, and plunged the sword into her opponent's right.

A 'tick' sound played.

Zelda: 1 hit

"Way to go, Zel!" cheered Roy.

Jigglypuff: 0 hits
Ganondorf: 0 hits

A whistle sound played.

"NYOM NYOM NYOM" said Ganondorf, eating his opponent's sword.

"What?!" screamed the fencer.

Ganondorf hit his opponent three times with his blade.

"yaaai" said Ganondorf.

Zelda: 1 hit

Zelda and her opponent's swords pressed against each other. Zelda quickly drew her sword back and tried to slash her opponent. Her opponent blocked. Zelda quickly drew her sword back again, faking one way, and slashing the other, hitting the opponent in the hip.

A tick sound played.

"Go Zelda!" cheered Roy.

Jigglypuff: 0 hits

Jigglypuff faced her eight-foot opponent, holding a butter knife.

"omg use ur smallness to fite him" said Ganondorf.

Zelda: 2 hits

Her opponent hit her. Zelda, now enraged, launched a series of quick swishes, slashes and slices, finally hitting her opponent for the last time.

"Woo!" cheered Zelda.

"You did awesome!" screamed Roy, running to get the clue.

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 5th Place

"Make your way to Merv's Fun Water Resort and swim to your next pit stop! Warning, the last team to check in may be eliminated!" read Roy.

"Let's hurry!" screamed Zelda, running along.

Jigglypuff: 0 hits

Jigglypuff, armed with her butterknife, jumped onto her opponent's shoulders and hit him three times.

"yay" said Jigglypuff, "I'm here to show everyone that I… am an intelligent person and such as and such as and the Iraq and I think I proved this today"

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

Ganondorf took the clue. "Make your way to Merv's Fun water resort and swim to the pit stop!"

Merv's Fun Water Resort

Kirby and Pikachu

"Okay, bud!" said Kirby, leading Pikachu by the hand, "We're going to swim to the pit stop!"

"Okay!" said Pikachu nervously, wearing floaties on his arms, a life vest on his torso and black, electric-proof board shorts.

They reached the pool. Kirby grabbed a floating tube and put Pikachu in it. Pikachu floated along, and Kirby swam alongside him. "We got this!" cheered Kirby.

Pit Stop

Kirby and Pikachu

Kirby and Pikachu, exhausted, climbed out of the pool and collapsed onto the mat.

"Kirby and Pikachu…" said Master Hand. "…you are…"

Kirby and Pikachu gave a nervous smile.

"…team number four!" said Master Hand.

"Yes, bud!" cheered Kirby, hugging Pikachu tightly.

"Now I understand you guys ran into some obstacles today," said Master Hand.

"This was our toughest leg," said Kirby, "I flipped the car, which put us in last…"

"…and then I struggled to get into the water… twice…" said Pikachu.

"And then we got lost going to the military place," said Kirby, "So yeah… it was tough."

Kirby and Pikachu
Best Friends

"The fact that we were half an hour behind everyone and that we still came in fourth place," said Kirby, "it shows how awful everyone else is and what great racers we are!"

"We can all hear you!" shouted Samus angrily from next door.

…

"…wait! Only me!" said Samus angrily.

Roy and Zelda

"We left at most a couple of minutes before Jigglypuff and Ganondorf," said Roy, "I just hope we have enough of a lead to beat them to the pit stop, because they can run and swim pretty fast!"

"Roy is kicking butt, though!" cheered Zelda.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"GO GANNIE" screamed Jigglypuff, Ganondorf's risky driving forcing oncoming cars off the road.

Roy and Zelda

"Okay, what's the next turn?" said Roy, overtaking a car on the left

"It's a right here!" said Zelda.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"we r catchings up!!!!" said Jigglypuff.

Roy and Zelda

"Yes! I see it!" said Roy, pointing to the 'Merv's Fun Resort' sign on the right.

"We're stuck at a red light though!" said Zelda.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"LA LA LA" sung Ganondorf, ramming more cars off the road, weaving through traffic.

Roy and Zelda

"Oh man, please change!" prayed Roy, "Please! Please!"

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"iS that another team?!?!" said Jigglypuff, pointing ahead.

Roy and Zelda

The light turned green.

"Okay, we gotta kick some butt now," said Roy, zooming through the intersection.

"Please turn back to red!" said Zelda, looking behind.

The light behind them turned red.

"Phew!" said Zelda, still peering out the back.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf's car pulled up to the intersection.

"ROOY! They're here!" moaned Zelda.

"Get ready to swim, then!" said Roy.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"lok they're ahead!" said Jigglypuff, pointing to Roy's car pulling into the carpark.

Roy and Zelda

"Leave our stuff in the car! We just gotta find this pool and go fast!" said Roy, running barefoot towards the entrance.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

The light turned green. Ganondorf sped the car through the intersection.

Roy and Zelda

"There it is! The giant pool!" screamed Zelda, pointing to a long pool down a flight of stairs.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"Get readies to swim!1" said Ganondorf, taking off his shirt to reveal his hairy, fat, old guy body.

Roy and Zelda

They ran to the edge of the pool. Roy jumped in. Zelda hesitated at the end of the pool.

"ROOY! It looks wet!" moaned Zelda.

"Zelda!" said Roy anxiously. "Are we going to do this?!"

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"omg I see tha pool!" said Ganondorf, running straight through a metal gate.

Roy and Zelda

"ROOY! I can't do it!" said Zelda.

"Zel! For a million dollars!" said Roy.

"Okay!" said Zelda, smiling, jumping in.

The water was cold. "ROOY! It's cold and wet!" moaned Zelda.

"Hurry up and start swimming!" said Roy, panicking.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"out of the way, kiddies!1" said Jigglypuff, whipping several children to the side.

Roy and Zelda

Roy and Zelda swam slowly through the pool. As they neared the quarter way mark, the camera panned to Jigglypuff and Ganondorf, who jumped into the pool.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

Ganondorf swam freestyle quickly, as Jigglypuff sat on Ganondorf's head, paddling along.

Roy and Zelda

They reached the shallow part of the pool.

"ROOY!" moaned Zelda, "They're catching up!"

"Zel! Just do your best and swim your hardest!" said Roy.

The camera panned back twenty-five metres to Jigglypuff and Ganondorf.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"SWIMMING TO THE PIT STOP" said Ganondorf, standing on Jigglypuff's head as a flotation device.

"mff mff mff mff" said Jigglypuff, whose speech was not very decipherable as Ganondorf's feet were in her mouth.

Roy and Zelda

Zelda continued to walk along the floor of the pool. "ROOY! I'm tired!" said Roy.

"Do something less consuming like breaststroke!" said Roy.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"HI ZELDA ASL nice to meet you" said Ganondorf, swimming along.

"that's coad for HI ZELDA we're going to beat you" said Jigglypuff.

Roy and Zelda

Roy embraced Zelda as she sobbed. "They're so mean!" sobbed Zelda.

"Then let's show them and let's beat them!" said Roy angrily.

"Okay!" said Zelda, starting to swim again.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"NYOM NYOM NYOM" said Jigglypuff, eating some gum she found in the pool.

Pit Stop

Dramatic camera angles.

Roy swam to the edge of the pool quickly, jumping out as fast as he could. Zelda lagged behind, with Ganondorf and Jigglypuff catching up with ten metres to go. As Zelda stroked as hard as she good, Ganondorf swam past her, Jigglypuff, holding onto his leg.

Ganondorf reached the fall first, and he tried to pull himself up with his arms. Zelda neared the wall. Ganondorf got one of his legs out. Zelda reached the wall. Roy held his arms out, grabbed Zelda and placed her on the land. Ganondorf had his whole body out of the water now.

"Sprint!" screamed Roy, running the last stretch to the pit stop.

Ganondorf stood up and sprinted full pelt, holding Jigglypuff in his arms.

Roy ran onto the pit stop. Zelda, with five metres on Ganondorf jogged the last stretch, Ganondorf catching up with every stride. With two metres to go, Ganondorf was half a body length behind.

Ganondorf swung his arm to punch Zelda, but missed and ended up punching himself in the face. Ganondorf collapsed.

Zelda ran onto the mat.

"OMG NUUEZ" screamed Jigglypuff.

"nuueee" cried Ganondorf.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf crawled onto the pit stop.

"Serves you guys right for your trash talk!" said Zelda angrily.

"Roy and Zelda, you are team number five!" said Master Hand.

"Yes!" said Roy, hugging Zelda tightly as triumphant music played.

"Jigglypuff and Ganondorf," said Master Hand, "You're the last team to arrive."

"Waah waah waah" sobbed Jigglypuff.

"And I'm sorry to tell you," said Master Hand.

"waah waah waah" sobbed Ganondorf.

"…that this next leg is going to be much harder, as this is a non-elimination leg!" said Master Hand.

"YAY YAY YAY" cheered Jigglypuff and Ganondorf.

"NYOM NYOM NYOM" said Jigglypuff, eating Ganondorf's leg.

"NYOM NYOM NYOM" said Ganondorf, also somehow eating Ganondorf's leg.

"However," said Master Hand, "Next leg you guys must face a speed bump, a task that only you two must complete."

"well I eat speed bumps 4 brekfast!" boasted Ganondorf.

"olol not the concrete ones, liek a task!" laffed Jigglypuff.

"omg!!!" said Ganondorf, shocked.

"Are you happy to hear that, Roy?" said Master Hand.

"Not really," said Roy, "They're not the most pleasant people we know on the show, and we wouldn't be too fussed if next leg we see them gone."

"o yeah?" said Jigglypuff, "well roy… more like… boy!!!!"

Ganondorf whispered something to Jigglypuff.

"omg you guys aren't both girls I thought u were the mean lesbians couple!1" said Jigglypuff.

"I really hope you guys are eliminated," said Zelda.

Finish Times:

Toon Link and King Dedede: 3:42 PM

Wolf and Samus: 3:43 PM

Fox and Falcon: 4:38 PM

Kirby and Pikachu: 5:13 PM

Roy and Zelda: 5:20 PM

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf: 5:21 PM – face speed bump

That was my first update of TSAR for more than a year! I wouldn't say it's my best leg, but I hope you guys still enjoyed it!

Review, telling me who your favourite teams are and what your favourite bits were! Point out any obvious errors and don't forget to vote on the poll!

Visit the Smash Mansion for more nonsense! Thanks for reading!