Hey people! Sorry this took a while. But WOW! hehe. those reviews almost doubled! Thanks to all my reviewers - you're amazing!

And I know this is a bit shorter, but that's cause I intend to make my next update about twice as long :-)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight :-(

I hated hospitals.

They were always so depressing; unnaturally clean even though they was full of sick and injured people; devoid of any colour but white - enough to cause a headache; and with the most annoying staff imaginable.

It was a shame that it was my second time in hospital in the space of about a year.

And these facts were only made worse as my most recent 'visit' was even longer than my last.

The reason for this being that it turned out my fears were right: My left arm was broken. So I was made to wear a cast for the next six weeks. I'd also managed to give myself whiplash when my head snapped back, so I was in a neck brace for what felt like hours, lying back on the hospital bed with my only view being the impeccably white ceiling above me. But thankfully the injury to my neck was nothing serious, so I was released that same night.

Charlie drove me back from the hospital at some time around ten o'clock in the evening. I had caught up on a little sleep in the hospital, but I still couldn't help dozing for a while longer on the ride home - even though it only felt like I'd slept for five minutes at most when Charlie shook me awake again.

He had to help me down from his police cruiser when we stopped outside the house, all the while being wary of my broken arm. I knew it was going to take some getting used to - having only one arm to use - but at least I wouldn't have to attend gym for the next few months.

My truck was already in the driveway when we got back, much to my surprise. It was barely noticeable, shrouded in the evening darkness; but still unmistakably my Chevy. Charlie noticed my confusion immediately and informed me that Jasper took my keys and brought my truck back for me.

It wasn't the answer I expected - I thought if anybody it would have been Angela to bring it back - and I caught Charlie's look of curiosity when he saw me smile. I shook my head at his pointed look, so he shrugged it off and held open the front door for me.

After ten minutes of talking with Charlie - mostly about me staying home for the next few weeks - I decided to go to sleep.

I still wanted to maintain some kind of self reliance, so I refused to let Charlie help me with anything in my routine before bed. I could brush my teeth and wash my face fine, but it was getting changed that I found difficult. I ended up wearing a pair of shorts and an old, loose-fitting T-shirt - It was all I could pull on with the cast covering my arm! And it was made all the worse by the pain in my neck and back.

I was sitting up in bed, scribbling random words on my cast in marker pen, when I heard his voice.

"Howdy, Sunshine," he chuckled, a hint of mocking in his tone.

I looked up from my arm, unsurprised to see Jasper crouching on my windowsill, the window wide open. I remember thinking that I was glad I couldn't feel any breeze, as it would have made my neck feel even worse. It made no sense. It was the most unlikely thing for anybody to think at that certain moment.

I smiled and placed the pen on the nightstand. A sudden sharp pain in my neck as I moved made me wince slightly. I ignored it. "Funny," I muttered sarcastically, knowing I would have folded my arms over my chest if it were possible.

Jasper chuckled again as he gracefully pushed himself to the floor, soundlessly, and bent down by my bed. "Terribly sorry if my Texan accent is better than Newton's," he teased. "But you gotta love it, darlin'?"

I groaned irritably and rolled my eyes, although I couldn't stop the smile from tugging at the edges of my lips. I rested my broken arm over my lap, using the other to help me shuffle further upright against the pillows stacked up on the headboard.

"You've got the advantage," I countered. "You're from Texas."

Jasper raised his eyebrows briefly and turned his eyes aside, feigning a look of guilt. "I'm afraid you caught me out, ma'am," he sighed in his thickened southern accent. "Too sharp for me, I guess."

I grinned triumphantly, despite the complete untruth in his words. "Well, did you expect anything less?"

Now it was Jasper's turn to roll his eyes.

I laughed lightly, but my smile quickly faded. "Thanks for...well, saving my life," I said slowly.

Jasper clucked his tongue against the top of his mouth and shrugged. "I couldn't let a lady die, could I? Goes against my nature."

I probably would have laughed…maybe. But there was this nagging in the back of my mind, telling me that I shouldn't be scared to ask him something. I had waited long enough, and I never wanted to wait in the first place.

"Can I ask you something, Jasper?"

His eyes darted back to me and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Besides for that? Sure," he answered, smirking.

I couldn't help thinking the same three words I always did now at these moments: Stupid, smartass vampire.

I didn't say them out loud, though. Instead, I asked him straight out, keeping my eyes on my arm, "What was wrong with you in the cafeteria that day…when Emmett had to take you out of school?"

The change in the room was instant. Jasper's unnecessary breathing stopped, while mine momentarily caught in my throat. He made no movement, not that I could see out the corner of my eye, anyway - while my only movement was nervously tracing the outline of the pen marks on my cast. This was probably the most silent I'd ever managed to be, while awake at least. And there was nothing comfortable in this silence either; it was completely torturous.

But, after almost a minute, Jasper started to speak.

"I'm sorry about that," he said, his voice so quiet that I almost had to strain my ears to hear him. "I had gotten some …bad news…earlier that week, that I won't concern you with, and I was feeling so angry. It was a crisis as such, and I hadn't found a chance to hunt in about a week…and you were so close to me. I could smell you…so…" He trailed off suddenly. The sentence was probably something he thought I wouldn't want to hear.

I glanced up at Jasper and he was watching me, his expression both apologetic and angered. "They obviously couldn't leave me to drain you in the middle of the cafeteria," he said. I flinched at his choice of words, wondering what could have been a much worse thing to decide against saying than that. "So Emmett thought it would be best for us both to go hunting before the others got out of school."

The first thing I felt was confusion. The whole story struck me as odd; from one thing Edward had told me the day before that happened. "Edward said you and Emmett were hunting with him that weekend," I recalled. "He came back early to see me…he said you stayed behind."

"It was an unsuccessful trip," Jasper explained, almost straight away. He paused only for a second, in which I thought I saw a momentary panic flash through his eyes. But it was so fast that I could have been wrong. I noticed the finality in Jasper's tone and knew he wished for a new subject of conversation.

I persisted, though. "That doesn't make much sense. Wouldn't you have at least caught something?"

"Not necessarily."

"And you said there was bad news. Wouldn't you all have stayed together?"

"Not necessarily."

"What do you mean 'not necessarily'?" I cried angrily, my voice raising. I grimaced and glanced towards the door, expecting Charlie to burst in. Thankfully, he didn't. I looked back at Jasper, who was frowning deeply. My voice came out as a harsh whisper when I went on. "You're all family; vampire or human, family is the same thing. And I doubt you all would have wandered off during a…I don't know: A Crisis, perhaps? And…" I stopped suddenly and I closed my eyes, taking a deep, exasperated breath. "Are you lying to me, Jasper?" I asked, with tense calm.

"Why would I lie to you?" He asked, his voice genuinely calm. It was hard not to believe him.

But I knew why he would lie to me. The reason was staring me straight in the face; and it was one that I knew I would never be able to hold against him. For a simple reason: He was being a good brother. For what ever reason, he was protecting Edward.

But I didn't say any of that. What was the point, when Jasper would only think of another excuse in less than a second?

"I guess you wouldn't," I sighed instead, smiling tightly. "Maybe I'm just paranoid." It was probably the most convincing lie I had ever told.

Jasper's smile was most likely ten times as beautiful as mine. His eyes shined in the faint moonlight, streaming in through the open window.

"You probably have every right to be," he said softly, resting a comforting hand on mine. "We haven't all exactly been 'charming' to you lately."

I laughed shortly, without humour. "That's a nice way of putting it…" I muttered. "But I just don't understand what I did."

Right then, the only word I could use to describe Jasper's expression was 'staggered'.

"Well, that's not what I expected," he muttered.

I was beginning to wonder how many strange turns this conversation would take. "Huh?"

Jasper tilted his head down. Blonde hair fell over his forehead, hiding his face from me. "I must say, I'm surprised, Bella," he said carefully, like I might snap at any moment. "You should know your own feelings, your own thoughts. And yet, you seem to deny them to yourself. It's like your mind refuses to accept it all-"

"I know I might sound a bit hypocritical," I cut in sharply. "But you're starting to sound seriously confused. It's like you're talking in riddles."

Jasper didn't look up, he didn't even move. "It may seem that way to you," he said. "But, like I said, you're constantly denying yourself what it is you want. There's something in your mind…it's refusing to let you move on from what you have, but should've already lost. It sounds confusing to you, but it's really very simple. I can't understand …" He cut himself off that time. Instead of finishing the sentence he swore and pushed himself to his feet. "I'm not telling you this," he muttered. "I already have too much to…" He stopped, swore again and ran both hands through his hair, sighing angrily.

I watched him silently, letting dozens of thoughts run through my mind at once. I could refuse to listen to a word he had said, but he most likely knew my feelings better than I did - He was the empath!

But could I disagree with him saying I was denying my thoughts? It was true, I had been reassessing my every decision over the last year. I tried to ignore what I was thinking now, but it had become even harder since Edward seemed to give up on me - especially after what he said at school. Everything that had led me to Edward and the Cullens…I was regretting it all. Even coming to Forks, in the first place.

Did Jasper feel that regret?

"I'm sorry you have to feel it too," I said. I spoke in barely more than a whisper, but Jasper could hear me perfectly. He remained facing the window, but he didn't leave. "I'll admit that I've been doubting things, but I'm not giving up on what I have. I'm not losing you, Edward…any of you. Despite what you all think, I still care."

Jasper flinched. I noted it was probably from the sudden anger he felt from me. A sharp wind blew in from the window at the same time, ruffling his already disarrayed blonde hair and the collar of his jacket. My dark, tangled hair was disturbed also; blown back from my pale face.

I shivered from the sudden chill, which hurt my neck a bit. I hated how restricted my movements were then; not that I was a particularly active person anyway, but it was still nice to be able to pick up a few books without wincing.

Jasper titled his head back a little and I heard him take in a deep, satisfied breath. I didn't notice at first that the wind had drifted back towards him.

A low growl ripped through his chest as he turned around to face me, his eyes suddenly pitch-black.

But I wasn't scared at all.

I was thankful.

He could kill me - Drain me as he'd said before - and nothing would change. I wasn't noticed at school, so all that would be left there would be a few empty seats at the back of the classrooms. Charlie could go back to having no responsibility at home. He wouldn't have to worry about his daughter: Clumsy, timid, Bella Swan.

I'm sure the Cullens would be relieved, also.

I was waiting, motionless, but the attack never came.

Jasper didn't move towards me, although his eyes were wide and watching me hungrily. His face was contorted with pain as he edged back towards the window.

"No!" I hissed, jolting upright. Once again, I ignored the pain it caused. "I don't care if you end up killing me or not," I said, my voice weak and saddened. "Just don't leave me alone."

If Jasper was surprised by my request - or my lack of subtlety at the prospect of him killing me - he didn't show it. He simply nodded and slid the window closed, his movements slightly more rigid than usual. I could tell he wasn't breathing, but he still didn't move further towards me for another few minutes.

I'm sure, for at least half of that time, I wasn't breathing either.

Eventually, Jasper crossed the space between us and sat down opposite me on the bed, his legs crossed. He met my gaze and smiled.

It was amazing how I found such comfort in his smiles.

His eyes slid across to the nightstand and rested on the pen I had been using earlier to scribble on my arm. Jasper chuckled and asked, "Do I get to sign your cast, then?"

Whoop! I hope you all liked it. I'm finally giving some answers! (quicker than SOME TV shows I'm about to give up watching...)

Anyhooo....in case some are wondering about the relevence of Jasper almost attacking Bella (again) it was just to mention Bella's kind of depression.

As always, reviews make me smile!!! like this: :-) okay...maybe not QUITE like that... dial down the crazy now. Please let me know what you all thought!

Soffie
xxxxx