Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket

Chapter Six

For PeaceLightVictory

Luke: When you date a girl like Rory, you're involved with her whole family. Just like that last girl you dated, you were involved with her whole petri dish.

~ Swan Song, Gilmore Girls

~ (***) ~

The moment she left the room Rosalie had never felt so relieved, disconcerted and...was it regretful? She never felt so overwhelmed in her life. She had never had so many people open their arms to her at once. Or so eager to anyway. This also made her question as to whether she should trust them. She was used to family who displayed these types of emotions unless they had a motive. She had another emotion which she wasn't sure how to go about naming. She feel it but she couldn't name it. She was the blind man who had been presented with a gift but didn't know whether to accept it or not. It was something which she felt that she could've felt towards her family initially however due to her lack of sharing a connection with them it was difficult. It was a feeling she wanted to feel but couldn't. She had to protect herself from her own family. It was so laughable. Although when she was with the Sohma it came naturally. It wasn't an overwhelming feeling. It felt like it was growing. She knew that it was an emotion which would slowly emerge and soon came to know and acknowledge in time. Maybe she could feel like a normal twenty-something woman but still she felt she had to dissuade herself from such thoughts because she knew that to a certain extent this was impossible.

Anyway, her personal problems weren't the issue here shaking away these thoughts out of her mind as she walked down the corridor. It was Momiji she needed to focus on right now. It was so bizarre how he suddenly acted like that. He seemed so calm and relaxed and not the type to suddenly explode like that. Obviously her presence had provoked him in some way. It wasn't something she did but it was because of the naturally sudden interest of a newcomer something inside him had stirred him and made him act out like that.

It must have been a combination of factors which made him behave in such a way and not to seem egocentric she was sure that she was connected to one of them in some way. She found that it wasn't difficult to find him. After walking around the gardens for a few minutes she found him hunched down on the floor evidently brooding over what had just happened and the emotions and thoughts buzzing around in her mind. She smiled knowing that feeling all too well. She approached him quietly and when she was at a safe distance decided to speak.

"Momiji." She spoke softly so that she wouldn't startle him. His head shot up and stared at her.

"Are you alright?"

He didn't speak for a few moments and she waited. She waited for what seemed for hours until he spoke.

"It's cold."

She leant forward slightly. "Pardon?"

He got to his feet and led her inside. "It's cold. You must be freezing."

She held up her hands and tried to shrug this off. "It's fine. I live in Europe remember. It's always cold there. Unless in Italy."

"Exactly. It's hot there." He replied.

She shook her head. "Not always. I mean I'm not always in Italy. It's alright."

He shook his head. "No its not. You're a-"

She held a hand against his chest. "Momiji. What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Haru was being rude and was saying inappropriate things. I couldn't have him-"

"Don't make excuses." She interrupted. "I know when something like that displeases someone and that is certainly not how someone reacts to it."

He turned away dismissively and looked down at the ground. "Well I don't know about how people go about it in France but I assure you what I'm telling you is the truth."

This comment stung her and hit her in the chest like a swift, forceful punch. She stood back a little and stared up at him.

"I'm sorry I made such an assumption."

Momiji suddenly realised what he had said when he saw the shocked expression in Rosalie's eyes and immediately felt ashamed of himself. Not only had he been racist but he had been incredibly rude towards someone who had come after him to see if he was alright. Hence showing a concern in his welfare. What he had done was a thousand times worse than Haru's actions. Why was he acting so irrationally all of a sudden? He hated himself a thousand times over now that he had hurt her feelings. He of all people was sensitive to the feelings of others. She must've felt so confused right now. One moment he was expressing a sincere interest in her and the next he was completely rejecting her. He was insulting her. He wouldn't blame her in the slightest if she turned away and never spoke to him again. He wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to fly back to Venice. He deserved it after his behaviour. Especially when he was trying to help as well. She had come out here in the cold with good intentions and was evidently concerned about him.

"I'm sorry." He chocked. "That was an unforgivable thing for me to say. Especially me. It's true though what Haru was saying was disturbing me and I was annoyed at him and now I've projected it back onto you. I apologist whole-heartedly."

She hesitated for a moment, in this moment Momiji was growing more certain she wasn't going to forgive him until he saw a smile creep upon her face.

"You know, that is probably the most sincere apology I have ever heard in my life. I would've heard more sincere ones from certain people but they never had to. As for the rest who did I knew that they were lying before they ever opened their mouths."

There was a sad expression on her face. One which was filled with despair which had been hidden and suffered in silence. Momiji took a step forward and restrained himself from wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." He replied gravely. "I mean not just what I said but also that. I was wondering...were you talking about your family."

She looked up and gave him a look before replying. "I'm sure that that the Sohma family has been rife with speculation upon the subject of the Laurent family."

"Oh no-"

She held up a hand. "It's alright. It's to be expected. My family has many secrets and quite rightly so. There are some things which they have done with isn't exactly within the boundaries of the law and of morality. I shouldn't even be telling you this but...I feel I should give someone some explanation."

"There is no need for an explanation." He assured her.

"Yes there is." She replied almost immediately. "Yes there is."

She looked down and closed her eyes tightly thinking over what she was doing. What she was doing was madness. She was even questioning right this moment whether she was beginning to lose her sanity. If Yuri found out what she was doing she would surely punish her in the most painful way possible. It was her nature. It was what she did. It was what kept from the other family members from doing what she was doing right now.

She sighed. "There is an explanation but I can't really...tell you it fully." She said finally.

Momiji looked down at her with her face scant of any judgement. "Why?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "It's just something...which never should be spoken of. When you apologise now for your behaviour which I'm grateful for don't get me wrong but it makes me feel bad because I can't give you an explanation to why I'm so distant."

"Well...Why don't you stop being so distant?"

Otherwise everyone would know. Everyone would discover our secret. Then Yuri would lock me away and throw away the key. This is the extents of my freedom I can't mess it up. Not now.

She wrapped her arms around herself against the bitter cold wind. Sometimes this world, such a harsh world could be so cruel. It would open its arms to something which seemed to need some comfort but once it knew the truth it would close itself away and turn its back on that lonely child in such desperate need of love. Away from the world and away from the truth. She needed to take a moment where she didn't have to think about the truth. Sometimes it was harsher than the unacceptable world. Sometimes it was too painful a subject to dwell on. It reminded her of her cage and her suffering.

Why did she have to suffer more than any of them? What did she do to deserve this? They all campaigned for Yuri's favour but did they really know what they truly desired? Did they really have a full grasp of what the truth was? They all thought they knew the truth. That they had a high knowledge of those of the outside world but they were far from the truth. They were just as naïve as the rest of the world. Especially in matters concerned with Yuri's true nature. They all feared Yuri but they didn't know of Yuri's true nature. None of them knew the truth of the despair and horror she had to endure as Yuri's favourite.

"Otherwise people will find out the truth." She replied in a small voice.

"Is the truth so terrible?"

"Sometimes." She replied. "Sometimes it can be a gift. Others it can be a burden. It's such a terrible burden."

"The truth?"

She nodded. "Yes."

He smirked. "I know how that feels...For some time I had to hide a secret of my own. We all had to and eventually...We all almost lost any chance of being able to be ourselves until someone came along and saved us."

She was considering telling Momiji the truth about her family. Telling him about her secret, but she knew that it would never be able to come out easily. For now, she was going to leave that unsaid.

"Well...I suppose the difference between you and me is that...We can't be saved."

"Why?"

"Our secret is a little more...Dug into our souls." She answered uneasily.

He opened his mouth again but she stared back at him telling him not to speak again. She took him by the hand and led him back inside.

"You best go inside. It's cold out here." She said.

Momiji blinked. All that sadness had gone. It was as if she had become a different person. He was right. She wanted to hide that sadness and she would do anything to keep her secret hidden in the darkness. Where she would suffer alone.