"Gilgamesh once told me that I'd be a sucky Mahou Shoujo but jokes on him because I am now an official member of the Mahou Shoujo Association."
— Arthur Pendragon in a nutshell
It is one fine day and Enkidu is ready to annoy the living shit out of Gilgamesh.
The boy is happily humming under his breath as he skips his way to where the blonde's flat is. He has a lot of tricks up his sleeves and he's determined to make him cry this time, like he how he used to when they were little. He honestly can't wait for his best friend to experience all of them!
"Gil! I've come to play!" he screams the moment he enters the man's unit, slamming the front door as he does so.
Silence then greets him. His previously raised hand falls to his side as he notes that the unit is completely silent. Enkidu tilts his head to the side and wonders where Gilgamesh could be. No, actually why is this place freezing? It is unusual for the man to turn his Airconditioner at full—
Gasp! Could it be that… could it be that…? Gilgamesh is already dead and his killer turned his aircon at full volume to preserve his body?!
That's fucking sick, bro! It's his lucky day!
"Wooo! I always wanted to see a dead body!" Enkidu excitedly exclaims and practically runs to where the blonde's room is.
The walls shake as he slams the bedroom door open, and Enkidu is about to take a step inside, but then he halts.
It is hard to see with every curtain closed, but as his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, Enkidu's joyful expression falls into a completely blank one. He probably stood there for about five minutes, trying to assess the situation, and finally, he takes his phone out and dials a number.
"Hello, Police?" He starts. "I am calling to report a pedophile." Enkidu says as he blankly stared at the sleeping Gilgamesh who is lying on his stomach with a KID lying on his back and unceremoniously drooling all over it.
"Hahaha, silly Gil! You should have told me earlier!"
"You mongrel," Gilgamesh says while he clutches Enkidu's face with a single hand. "You fucking called the fucking police before I could." He growls and tightens his grip. His eyes are undeniably murderous and if it wasn't for one unwanted guest, he'd definitely paint his walls with Enkidu's blood.
"Gil, you shouldn't curse in front of a child." Enkidu, not fazed by his best friend's anger, simply says cheerfully.
The blonde's eyes glints dangerously then. "You insolent bastard, I am going to murder you in your sleep."
If it wasn't too much work, Gilgamesh would definitely do it.
Being woken up by a cold water dump on your face is one thing, but being woken by a police officer on your front door is another thing.
Gilgamesh often times wonders just how lose Enkidu's screws are. Normal people would have woken him up and ask what the hell is going on. But no, Enkidu just had to call the fucking police and make a huge deal out of a very trivial thing. He couldn't even properly understand what was going on when the police officer, Cu, of all people, handcuffed him and lead him out of his flat.
He literally had to scream that everything is a misunderstanding and he doesn't remember how he managed to convinced that dog, but thank his holy ass he did.
Now that thing is out of the way, Gilgamesh has a bigger issue to solve.
"Hey, Goldie. I wanna watch Chaldea-kun." A tiny voice says followed by a thug on his pajama pants. (That's fucking right; he's still in his fucking pajamas. It's still so early for this.)
Escaping from his grip, Enkidu crouches down to the girl's level and gasp. "That won't do, Mo-chan! You're supposed to call him 'Papa Gil!'" the boy exclaims.
Gilgamesh feels a vein pop.
"Nobody's calling anyone 'papa'." He says before leaning down to grab the little girl by the scruff of her red hoody. "How did you even got in here, you mongrel?"
"H-hey! Put me down! I order you to put me down!" Mordred squirms before flailing her arms around.
"Awww, Gil! She's just like you!"
"Silence!" He snarls at his friend and turns his glare to the little girl who did the same. To the public eyes and Enkidu's, the resemblance is definitely uncanny. "I'm not going to ask you twice, mongrel. How did you get in here?"
Pouting, Mordred finally stops squirming and crosses her arms on her chest. "I snuck in when your cleaning lady came in earlier." she confesses with a pout.
"Cleaning lad—ah, goddamn that woman." Gilgamesh slaps his free hand to his forehead in realization. This apartment building doesn't offer any cleaning services but there's this one woman who swore to disinfect every nook and cranny of every rooms she have access to.
Unfortunately, it includes his, thanks to his own mother who is more than delighted that she could have someone to take care of her precious Gilgamesh when she's not around.
"Whatever. Go back to where you came from. I got no time to babysit someone else's spawn." Is what he says before he throws the kid to Enkidu.
The other catches her just fine. "That's no good, Gil. You shouldn't treat your daughter like that!" Enkidu reprimands and carries the little girl properly. "Let's watch Chaldea-kun and ditch that useless papa of yours, alright? Mo-chan?" he continues and walks away.
Gilgamesh simply clicks his tongue and glares at his friend's retreating form. Enkidu lost his logical reasoning ages ago and he wonders why he even bothered explaining in the first place.
Whatever, he'll think of what to do with that kid after he drinks his coffee. The blonde thinks while he makes his way to his kitchen. If she got in by following Nightingale, then that means her parents live in this building as well. He doubts that this kid would get in without the guards on the lobby noticing.
Unless they were slacking.
Honestly, he didn't fucking paid millions of yens for this kind of lousy service. Gilgamesh is definitely going to write a complaint! Give him his money's worth, dammit!
But wait, why does it feel like he had seen that little girl before?
The blonde frowns as he takes a bottle of water from his fridge. Those big green eyes are so familiar but not at the same time. Was his guess about her being one of his neighbor's spawn true?
If so, why can't people take care of their own children?! Goddammit, such parents shouldn't be allowed to have kids! Such carelessness!
"Hey, hey, Gil! I just found out something amazing!" Enkidu exclaims as he rushes inside the kitchen with the little girl still in his arms. "Apparently, Mo-chan here is Arthuria's! Isn't that shocking?!"
In the flash of the lightning, Gilgamesh has slapped his bottle of water onto the kitchen island and snatches Mordred from Enkidu's grasp.
"Hey, Mordred." He says, remembering the name the little girl gave out earlier before, and grins suspiciously. "Do you want anything from Papa Gil? Papa is very rich."
Gil sure changes his mind easily. Enkidu thinks as he watches the scene unfold with a happy smile.
Ah, she'd done it this time. She'd finally reached the end of her life span and the devil himself is laughing by the gates of hell, waiting for her pathetic soul to finally come to him.
Seriously what had she done in her past life to deserve this?!
Was she some kind of a cold father who didn't acknowledge own his kid?! Was she so cold that people turned away from her?! Was she some kind of a stiff leader?! Why?! Why?! Why is this happening to her?!
Arthuria punches the wall then and thinks how she would explain to Arthur that his child is missing.
Arthur is nice and gentle most of the time but once he finds out she left his precious child alone in the apartment, she is sure as hell that his alter form is going to make an appearance. And that freaking Alter form is not going to think twice in boiling her alive.
"Calm down, Arthuria. She must have not gone far. This apartment building has securities." She says to herself.
But seriously! How can Mordred even disappear in the span of five hours?! She explicitly told that child to not leave the apartment while she goes to work! Why does she never listen?! Where did she got her stubborn streak from?!
"I'm going to take her cartoon privilege once I find her. It's time to discipline that girl." She says through gritted teeth and goes out of their unit.
Arthuria nearly breaks the button of the elevator with how hard and rapidly she pushes it before it opens. Just when she is about to board it, she is then faced with the familiar face of Cu inside the elevator.
"Oh, it's Arthuria! Going back so soon?" He questions with a smile. She on the other hand couldn't bring herself to smile back.
"You! I have a question for you!" She exclaims and grabs the man to her level. "You were patrolling this area earlier, right?! You've been here since eight, right?! Right?! Answer me!"
"W-what's gotten into you?! Stop shaking me!"
"Answer my question, goddammit! This is important!"
"I-I was! I was, alright?! Now stop! You're making me cry!"
"Then, then," Arthuria halts, finally, but her eyes are notably murderous. Like Cu better tell her what she wants to hear if he ever value his life. "Did you see any little girl around? She's this tall, about four years old, blonde hair tied in ponytail with two braids on both sides, green eyes and is most likely in a red hoodie. Did you? Did you?!"
"Okay, okay! Let me think first!" Cu exclaims but Arthuria still keeps her grip on his uniform collar. Dammit! He was only going to eat his lunch with Bazette today! Why is his luck so damn low that he had to be caught up in whatever Arthuria is yapping about?!
For now, let's think about it! Little girl, blonde hair, green eyes? About four years old?! How the hell would he know?! He's not the only one on police patrol—oh… now that she mentions it...
"... I did saw a little girl that matches your description about an hour ago." He says as realization dawns into him.
At this, Arthuria gasp and yanks him even further. "Where?! Tell me where?!"
"You're too close! Your face is too close!" Cu screams and attempts to remove himself from the woman's grip. "And it, she, was with Gilgamesh! I saw that little girl with Gilgamesh!"
At last, Arthuria finally let go.
The woman takes a couple of steps back until her back finally hits the now closed elevator doors. "G-Gilgamesh? You said s-she was with Gilgamesh?" She questions, eyes growing wide with disbelief.
"Y-yeah... Enkidu reported a pedophile earlier and I was sent to check on it. Turned out it was just a misunderstanding and Enkidu told me it was Gilgamesh's kid on my way out..." He explains while rubbing his neck which got sore from how hard Arthuria was pulling on his collar earlier. "O-oi, are you alright? You're shaking." Cu questions when the woman simply stood there, eyes covered by her fringes.
"His kid, you say?" Arthuria murmurs under her breath before a dark aura starts to emit from behind her. Cu feels the hair on the back of his neck stands as the atmosphere around them changes and when the woman finally looks up, the man takes a step back when a pair of golden eyes looks at him with pure anger. "... His kid?"
With a pop, the man watches as that signature piece of hair she has dislocates.
"DON'T FUCK WITH ME!"
"HER AHOGE FELL OFF!"
No, Gilgamesh is not enjoying this. He's definitely not enjoying this, not the slightest bit! Nuh-uh!
"Papa Goldie! Papa Goldie! Can I have that bike? Can I? Can I?" the little girl in his arms exclaims and tugs on the collar of his shirt.
Smirking, Gilgamesh haughtily flips his hair. "Well, if you want it that much I have no other choice but to give it to you then." he says followed by a laugh. He snaps his finger to get the attention of the salesman and five minutes later, they goes out of the store and adds the bike to the shit ton of stuffs they bought earlier.
"You're really enjoying this, ain't cha, Gil?" Enkidu comments cheerfully which makes the blonde's ears turn red.
"No, I don't!" Gilgamesh screams at his friend defensively.
Grinning still, Enkidu slams his hand on the blonde's back repeatedly. "It's that it isn't? That baby-fever thing! And look! You're even carrying her and letting her call you 'papa'. You secretly want one, don't you?" he says which irks Gilgamesh more.
"You mongrel, stop saying some senseless things!" he exclaims before letting Mordred down. "Fine! Look, I've put her down! Are you happy now?"
"Ah! She ran away." Are all Enkidu says as he watches the little girl skips away.
"Mongrel!" is what simply leaves the blonde's mouth as they ran after the little girl. The man manages to catch her and carries the squirming child. "What were you thinking running off like that?!" he reprimands with series of veins popping on his forehead.
"But there's cotton candy! Goldie, I want one!" Mordred exclaims while she tries to get out of the man's grasp.
Then again, Gilgamesh feels another vein pop. He follows where the little girl is pointing and sure enough, a cotton candy stand sits there and being swarmed by children and parents. Gil notes how most of them look like they're dead inside and wonders how Enkidu would even think he's having fun.
There's no way he's having fun. The man thinks as he carries the child to where the cotton candy stand is.
Who would even have fun doing this? He thinks while he pays for the candy and hands it out to Mordred's waiting hands.
That's right, only an idiot would find satisfaction while doing this. Gilgamesh believes while he watches Mordred eat the candy with a smile on his face.
"Ufufu, you look happy for once, Gil. What a nice sight." Enkidu snickers with his phone camera facing the blonde and the other tiny blonde in his arms. He hears the resounding click of the camera and Gilgamesh's murderous instinct is at peak. He grabs Enkidu's face with one hand and squeezes hard. "Ow, ow, ow. That hurts Gil. I was just taking a picture to send to your Mother."
"Do you have a death wish, you mongrel?" the blonde says with his eyes flashing dangerously.
"No, I don't have… probably." Enkidu replies with his smile still plastered on. "Ah, but your mom has been ecstatic with the pictures! We've been chatting for a while and she's kind of sulking because you didn't tell her about your secret love child."
And that's finally the last straw.
Gilgamesh wordlessly puts Mordred down before he effortlessly carries Enkidu above his head and makes a motion of throwing him down the escalator near them. "Say your last prayers, you insolent bastard." He coldly says to the still uncaring and smiling Enkidu.
But before Gilgamesh could throw his best friend to where he belongs, a dark aura from the horizon rapidly rushes toward him.
He doesn't know what hit him (it's a solid right fist, actually) but next thing he knows there's a pain in his gut and he's floating into the midair. Gilgamesh is thrown a total of ten feet and literally ask himself what the fuck did just happen?
(Enkidu on the other hand landed perfectly fine and jogs to Mordred who screamed "Demon Lady!" at Gilgamesh's attacker.)
"GIL. GA. MESH." A voice he knows so well growls which is coupled by the darkest murderous aura Gil has ever felt. Propping his elbow to the ground, he finally sees the face of his perpetrator and freezes.
Gone are the greenest eyes he loves so much and is replaced by a golden color glowing like a demonic cat eyes in the dark.
Also gone is her blonde hair, replaced by platinum ones which is the exact opposite of the dark cloud looming over her.
This form…
Dokin.
And his heart skips a beat.
"Ah, I'm about to die." the blonde man says with an overjoyed expression plastered on his face.
Enkidu stands by the sideline and buries Mordred's face into his neck to keep her from seeing how Arthuria is slaughtering Gilgamesh with no remorse whatsoever.
"Ara? What is this?" A woman stands by him and watches the scene unfold. "What a young couple! I remember when my husband and I used to fight in public as well. Sure brought back some memories!" She says and giggles while Arthuria uppercuts Gilgamesh out of the Earth's stratosphere.
"Fighting makes love stronger, doesn't it madam?" Enkidu replies to which the woman agrees and together, they laugh joyfully.
Man, I want a Caster Gil so bad. (I've given up my dream of having an Archer Gil because obviously, it's not gonna happen lol.) (ˉ﹃ˉ) but I want Karna too. Smh. (ˉ﹃ˉ)
Anyways, have Papa!Caster!Archer!Whicheveryouprefer!Gilgamesh instead.