AN: Wow, this one took awhile and is long! But a lot of things happened here so I felt like I had to get it all out.
My new job has taken a big chunk of my time out of writing, but I'm entering the next phase of training which promises to be less strenuous and I'll be able to write more. Hopefully this next chapter will come quicker given that I won't be so damn wiped out at the end of each day.
There are two songs by A Wilhelm Scream in this chapter and they appear in order. The first is called "The Soft Sell" and the second is "Less Bright Eyes, More Deicide". I highly recommend you give these songs a listen when you read over their parts in the chapter.
Thank you for sticking around and I look forward to your critiques and support!
Kind Regards,
Symbiotic
Ultimately the show for SOS went off without a hitch. They sounded better than anyone in the band could ever recall sounding, the crowd seemed to approve. There was raucous applause in between each song, a circle pit going on one of the songs they played, lot of headbanging, and a fair amount of stage diving. The crowd was fully engaged in the performance. They let their energy flow and took in the waves spirit and positivity that spread from the stage and out into the crowd. Despite their seemingly depressive name, A Seed of Sorrow filled the audience with joy during their entire performance. There was a real sense of elation amongst the crowd that night. And everyone felt it was a great performance. Except for Akko. She still had some trepidations over just how the performance went down.
After the show was over Akko and company took a minute to talk to some fans who had come up to the show, getting some hugs from longtime fans who they had befriended over the years from numerous shows and talk about how great they sounded. Akko took all of it in carefully, balancing out the adulation they had received from the audience with her own questions that she had about just how good the performance was. She herself was impressed with how good they sounded with Diana. It was better than they had sounded ever if Akko was completely honest with herself. They were unbelievably tight and their sound seemed to reach new heights that she wasn't sure the band was capable of reaching. She was greatly impressed by just what they had achieved on the stage tonight. It was more than she could have ever imagined.
But she was still nervous about inviting Diana into the band. Not at this moment, she resolved. Diana still had a ways to go before she would officially invited into A Seed of Sorrow. Akko wasn't about to let her life's work become so open to harm and failure this early in the game. Not yet. There was still a lot more that had to be done.
The band began to move their equipment back to the van and this time Akko was approached by Diana. "Do you need a hand?" the blonde questioned.
Akko looked at her with a raised eyebrow. It was not something that she at all expected to hear. "With loading up the van? We got it." Akko went to walk away but Diana gently stopped her.
"I'm serious, Akko," Diana stated. "I want to help. It's not fun being useless when the rest of you work so hard."
"You're not useless, Diana," Akko said with a shake of her head. "But really, we got this."
"There must be something I can do," Diana asserted. Akko sighed at how determined Diana was to help. She really didn't need it.
"Why don't you go pack up the merch and meet us over at Old Unreliable, okay?" Akko proposed.
"I can do that," Diana replied. Akko nodded at her and watched Diana walk away. She went to go pack up her amplifier head, cabinet, and small selection of effects pedals. While she was putting the pedals in a box she was approached by Sucy, who also was packing up her amplifier head and cabinet.
"So what did you think?" Sucy asked as she took her Ampeg head off its cabinet.
"Think about what?" Akko replied casually as she placed her pedals back in their case.
"You know damn well what I'm asking you, Akko," Sucy said firmly. "So answer my question. What did you think?"
Akko sighed heavily and sagged her shoulders before turning back to Sucy. She really didn't want to talk about how she felt, but Sucy seemed insistent on squeezing an answer out of her. "It was okay," she replied plainly. She reached up and went to put her Mesa head into its case before she answered. "I don't know," she replied glumly. She saw Sucy raise her eyebrow. "I'm not sure yet."
"You're not sure?" Sucy remarked with a hint of surprise in her voice. "Look, Akko, I don't know what you're seeing here that I'm not, but we sounded incredible out there and I…"
"I think we sounded incredible too, Sucy," Akko replied with a conceding tone in her voice. "We sounded better than I ever thought we would."
"As if all the rehearsals with Diana weren't indication enough," Sucy stated bluntly with a roll of her eyes. She picked up her amplifier head and placed it inside its case, which Akko followed suit with. "How long are you going to keep this up, Akko?"
"Sucy, I don't understand…" Akko began.
"You're going to drive her away before we ever have a chance to do anything significant," Sucy explained, a hastened tone coming off of the bassist's voice that Akko had seldom heard come off of her. Akko turned to her confused as to why she was speaking this way. "Look, I know this your band, Akko but I think you're dragging this out far more than it needs to be."
"I'm just doing what I think is best for the band," Akko said as she opened up her guitar case and set her Les Paul inside.
"Well maybe what's best for the band is for you to make a decision on what we're doing about Diana already," Sucy put bluntly. "I'm gonna be totally honest with you. If it were up to me, Akko, I would have let Diana into the band the first second after she said she wanted to join."
"I couldn't have done that, Sucy," Akko said as she picked up her guitar and amplifier cases and began to walk toward the exit of the venue. Sucy followed suit close behind her. "I need to see what she's all about first."
"You're being really ostentatious," Sucy said with another roll of her eyes. "What exactly does she have left to prove?"
"A lot, Sucy!" Akko shot back sharply as she turned back toward Sucy. She was sick of the way that Sucy was talking to her. It reminded her of the way her mom would talk to her before she started having some success with the band. Her mother used to always question her with a hint of trepidation in her voice, asking why Akko had to do the things she was doing and not just continue with her education like every other young woman who was continuing on with their life in the developed world. "There's a lot that Diana still has to prove."
Sucy sighed and looked up to the sky as her and Akko walked back out to the van where Lotte, Amanda, and Diana were waiting for them. Sucy stopped Akko with a gentle grasp on her shoulder and leaned into Akko's ear. "Just don't be surprised if this doesn't pan out because of your stalling, Akko." Akko rolled her eyes, she was no longer in the mood to hear Sucy's critiques of her plans anymore.
The two loaded up their instruments and amplifier heads before settling back down in 'Old Unreliable'. Sucy again agreed to pilot the van to their next destination and started the old van with a turn of the key. After cautiously backing up out of Brighton Music Hall's back parking lot, they made their way down Boston's streets and moved their way throughout the streets back toward the highway. For awhile all of them were silent. No music, no conversation. Everyone seemed mostly absorbed in their smartphones as Sucy drove the van along. The only one who didn't do anything was Diana, who Akko could tell was out of sorts in this whole environment. It was almost as if she was frozen and didn't know what to do, like she was in the company of aliens who had just abducted her and were taking her to another planet. Akko decided now she would break the silence.
"Can I put something on the Ipod guys or are we all going to sleep?" Akko questioned.
"I'm fine," Sucy said with a shrug of her shoulders.
"That's okay with me," Lotte replied casually.
"I'm not sleeping until we stop," Amanda stated with a stretch of her arms and shoulders before leaning back down in her seat. "Just don't play anything stupid, okay?"
"That means no Dr. Dre, Akko," Sucy stated plainly as she focused on the road. Akko crossed her arms and pouted. She actually had wanted to play something by Dr. Dre, specifically his song "Forgot About Dre" featuring Eminem, but that wasn't going to be possible now that Sucy and Amanda had issued their decrees. The Ipod was a band communal piece, and each member could request that something was or wasn't to be played as the members chose. Akko respected their wishes and moved through the lengthy list of artists and songs as she went to pick something else. It didn't take long for her to pick something that would entertain everyone in the van. Almost everyone.
"How about this one, guys," she said with a mischievous smirk. The rest of the members of A Seed of Sorrow looked at Akko with raised eyebrows as she pressed play. When they heard the sound of a clean electric guitar backed by a small drum beat that erupted into a heavily distorted power chord they all became acquainted with the song. Akko briefly paused the track and looked back at her bandmates.
"Oh shit, Propaghandi!" Amanda exclaimed with glee. She wrapped her arms around Diana's shoulder, making the blonde shrink back in her seat. "You gonna take this one, Akko?"
"I'll try," Akko said with a smile and a shrug of her shoulders. Sucy then nodded to Akko to play the song. As soon as she did the clean guitar part fell away and gave way to a heavy riff with rapid fire, pummeling drumming behind it. Akko, Lotte, Sucy, and Amanda all headbanged with the riff and the beat. And it was only when the song slowed down and went into a brief clean interlude that Akko cleared her throat and went to take the song for her own.
"Before you go to sing," Diana began. Akko raised her eyebrow and paused the Ipod. "Amanda mentioned something about not sleeping until we stop. Are we going to a hotel?"
Akko felt her mouth purse up and a snort come out through her nose. In a brief moment she began to laugh out loudly in the van. Before she knew it Lotte was chuckling and Amanda was laughing almost just as loud, slapping her knee in response. Sucy remained focused on the road, while Diana looked on confused.
"A hotel?" Akko gasped through her laughter. "You think we're staying at a hotel?!" She continued to laugh until tears began to fall from her face. She caught her breath with labored rises of her chest and wiped the tears off of her face. "Oh my gosh, you think we have the kind of money to stay at a hotel?"
"Well I just assumed that…" Diana began.
"Let me fill you in on what the plan is, Diana," Akko stated as she tried to calm down further from her laughter. "We're gonna pull into a truck stop sometime during the wee hours of the morning, get into a parking spot, shut the van off, and then go to sleep."
Akko watched Diana's eyebrows go as high as they possibly could go and her face turn whiter than it already could be. "We're going to sleep in the van? Are you serious?"
"She's dead serious, Princess," Amanda chortled as she calmed down from her own fits of laughter. "We're sleeping in the van whether you like it or not."
"But how will we shower?" Diana asked rather loudly and in a worried tone. "There's no way we can be expected to…"
"Truck stops have showers that you can use for free," Akko pointed out. "They kind of become your best friends on the road."
"You can't be serious," Diana questioned in disbelief. Akko raised her eyebrow at the blonde's protesting. "Please, let us think of an alternative. If it's necessary I could pay for a…"
"No you won't!" Akko shouted sharply. "You won't pay for anything!"
At that moment the van became so silent that a speck of dust could be heard dropping on the floor. The sound of the engine and the road noise were all that could be heard as the members of A Seed of Sorrow all sat in complete silence and looked at Diana and Akko. They could all see how Akko had become red in the face in an instant and how her shoulders had tightened up, rising up and down like pistons, and how her fists were clenched tightly. All of them knew that Diana had crossed a line that there had to be consequences.
"One of the cardinal rules of being in a band," Akko growled through gritted teeth. "We will never accept charity from someone else."
"But I…" Diana began.
"We won't accept it!" Akko shot back harshly. She watched as Diana coiled back into her seat and stayed absolutely still. Akko continued to hyperventilate until she turned back in her seat and Sucy rubbed her shoulder. Lotte and Amanda looked at Diana and the shocked look that they had on her face before turning away. Diana herself remained still. Akko didn't realize how much of an impression both her singing and her shouting had made upon the blonde woman.
It took her a little while to get used to. No, it took a long while to get used to. Diana could not recall any time in her life, both at her current age or in the past, where she ever slept in a stopped vehicle in a parking lot. Sure she had slept in the back of her chauffeur's limousine on long roadtrips in her homeland and when she first arrived in the United States, but she could never recall sleeping anywhere, not even a tour bus on her multi city tours, when a vehicle was stopped, much less a run down band van in the middle of Massachusetts at some random truck stop near the city of Worcester. She didn't think she would sleep the whole night, afraid of what would happen if someone at the truck stop broke into the van. Eventually she became so tired that she fell asleep, falling down in leaned up position against the back of the seat as she fell into a rather awkward but still fairly restful sleep. She wasn't sure how late it was when she fell asleep, but she knew it was well past one o'clock in the morning when she finally passed out.
Certainly the thoughts of Akko's voice helped her fall into a restful sleep. Even when Akko was singing highly abrasive and unmelodic punk rock vocals, she still sounded as amazing as ever when it came to her singing. That voice seemed to make Diana's heart swoon and it filled her head with more questions than answers every time it was engaged. For all the questions it posed in her mind though Akko's voice was a real source of comfort for Diana. She might not have been able to take the stage as easily as she could have if it was not for the fact she was certain she was going to hear Akko's voice both standing on her own and harmonizing with hers. It was all the comfort she needed on this strange adventure she was going on with Akko and her band.
Eventually the rest of the band members stirred awake and stretched themselves out before each saying good morning to one another. Each one went to the back of the van to grab their suitcase and then walked to the truck stop to take a shower, which Diana followed behind nervously. She had no idea what to expect, but she was pleasantly surprised to find the shower stalls in very good condition with no signs of grime or general dirtiness, aside from being somewhat old looking showers that clearly hadn't been changed out since the seventies. Akko let Diana get access to a stall first and she took a relatively blissful shower, though she was somewhat nervous about the fact that she didn't have sandals to stand upon.
When she was done Diana walked out into the truck stop and purchased herself a cup of tea from Starbucks before walking back over to the van. The rest of the members were gathered around the van drinking energy drinks and eating Tasty Cakes. Diana found the whole display a bit repulsive, but decided not to say anything about it. She did wish that her bandmates would eat something a bit more healthy.
"Morning, Princess," Amanda remarked as Diana walked back over to the van with her tea. "Got yourself a latte I see?"
"No actually," Diana retorted as she stood up against the van and sipped on her hot beverage. "But it is something clearly more healthy than all the sugar you're ingesting."
"Hey we gotta run somehow," Amanda replied with a shrug of her shoulders. She went back to chugging on her can of Monster in a manner that made Diana wince in disgust.
She felt herself tapped on the shoulder and turned around to see Akko holding up one of her glazed treats for Diana to eat. "You want one?"
"Oh," Diana muttered. She shook her head. "No thank you. I'm fine."
"You sure?" Akko questioned. "I'm only offering because we're probably not going to eat anything until we get to Stafford Palace later."
Akko seemed to make a very good point, enough to convince Diana at least, and the blonde proceeded to take the glazed vanilla treat for herself and began to munch on it. The cake was overtly sugary and made her fingers sticky, but there was nothing that Diana could find that was necessarily objectionable. She downed the cake with a few bites and then went turned back to the rest of the band members.
"So what's our plan for today," she asked while sipping on her tea.
Akko and Amanda looked at each other before they both looked back over at Lotte and Sucy. The bassist and drummer both shrugged their shoulders before the two guitarists turned back to Diana. The blonde singer raised her eyebrow curiously. What did they have up their sleeve?
"We're taking you shopping once we get to Stafford," Akko explained.
Diana raised her eyebrow. "Where would you be taking me shopping?" she questioned.
"A local Goodwill store," Amanda stated. "We gotta get you some gig worthy clothes."
"But I have plenty of clothes as it is," Diana said in a shocked tone. "Why in the world would I need second hand clothing just to be in the band?"
"It's not so much a matter of needing second hand clothing, but all of us would feel guilty if you ruined any of your good clothes while on tour with us," Akko explained. "Plus you'll get some stuff that you can just not give a damn about."
Diana sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She would just have to roll with this one for awhile.
The band took their time making their way to Stafford, which was only about an hour or so from Worcester, taking a chance to cruise at a moderate pace and listen to a wide variety of heavy music; everything from Metallica to Rancid to Rush and everything in between. Diana of course was completely unfamiliar with just about everything that they were playing, but she did find it striking that the members of A Seed of Sorrow listened to so many varieties of rock music. Perhaps it made sense given the unique nature of the music they played, but it definitely was more eclectic than perhaps she had guessed.
Sucy ended pulling the van into the parking lot of a large Goodwill location in downtown Stafford. The band members took their time to dismount the van before going inside to check out the store. When they first walked in Diana expected to walk toward the women's clothing section, but she was shocked when Akko instead pulled her toward the men's clothing section. Diana was utterly bewildered by this. Even when she saw Akko dress in shorts and t-shirts on stage she did not expect this to be happening to her in the slightest, not that she was fundamentally opposed to wearing men's clothes anyhow.
"Okay lets see here…" Akko began curiously. She went up to the rack and began to pick articles of clothing. Not long into picking through the rack she found something she liked, a blue and silver American football jersey. She went over and showed it to Diana. "Sports allegiance is never a bad thing to show on the stage."
"What is this?" Diana asked, holding the jersey up and looking at it front to back. The jersey had the number twelve written on it front and back and had stylized heads of what appeared to be Colonial Era minuteman on the side.
Curious as to why Diana sounded like she was protesting the jersey, Amanda poked her head out from the clothing rack and looked over at it. Her eyes went wide at Diana's confusion. "That's a Tom Brady jersey," Amanda explained. The gears began to turn in her head. "Wait a second, you don't know who Tom Brady is?" she asked with confusion.
"No I don't, thank you very much," Diana stated with a roll of her eyes. "And I don't think I could ever wear something like this to begin with."
"Oh so you're the picky type now are you, Princess?" Amanda remarked as she looked through the racks of clothing.
Diana actually found herself growling at the redhead who was trying to help her find clothing. She couldn't believe that she was being treated this way. "I'm not picky," she seethed in exasperation. "I just don't know why I would ever wear a jersey for a sport that I don't know anything about and don't really care for if I'm honest."
"If it's any solace I'm in your camp, Diana," Sucy stated plainly as she looked through the racks of clothing. "I can't do sports either. So I don't blame you if you don't want to wear a jersey."
Diana sighed in relief. "At least someone here is sensible," she muttered to herself.
She went back to following Akko closely as the Japanese girl continued to pick through the racks of clothing. The Japanese girl didn't take long before she uncovered something that was exactly what she was trying to find for Diana. It was a black hoodie with the letters "GB" on the side of the hood, a stylized picture of a smirking ape's head on the back, and the word's "start today" emblazoned on the front in odd rainbow colored letters. Akko beamed at the sight of the hooded sweatshirt, which she eagerly presented to Diana.
"Check this out, Diana!" Akko exclaimed giddily as she held the hoodie up in front of Diana. "Do you know what this?!"
Diana examined the hoodie closely before turning over to Akko with a raised eyebrow. "No, unfortunately, I can't say I know what it is."
"This is a Gorilla Biscuits hoodie!" Akko exclaimed. She was practically jumping up and down in front of Diana. "This is a piece of merch from one of the most legendary bands in the history of hardcore punk!"
"Okay…" Diana said slowly, unsure where Akko was going with this. "And the point is?"
"You gotta wear this on stage," Akko asserted as she threw the hoodie onto Diana, which the blonde caught in her hands. "Wearing a Gorilla Biscuits hoodie will get you major brownie points in the punk rock scene."
"Alright then," Diana muttered somewhat nervously. She then realized she had a question that she didn't think she'd ever ask in her life. "Akko, just what is a 'Gorilla Biscuit'?"
"It's a nickname for quaaludes," Akko stated plainly as she continued to rummage through the racks of clothing. Diana pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. Of course it was a reference to something as vulgar as illegal drugs. It seemed like everything that Akko did in regards to her band had something to do with the grotesque and perverse.
Diana took the hoodie after Akko passed it to her and held onto it while the rest of the girls continued to sift through clothing. Curious, she sifted through the clothing herself looking for anything that she might find the least bit appealing. Surprisingly to her it didn't take all that long to find something she found mildly appealing. It was an acid washed denim vest, somewhat ragged around it's edges, though it appeared to be deliberately cut that way to give it a distressed look and not actually all that worn. She presented the vest to Akko, who promptly gave it a thumbs up.
"Denim is always acceptable in the punk rock scene," the Japanese girl stated with a smile. Diana shrugged her shoulders and put the vest over her shoulder before going back and looking through the racks of t shirts. Akko helped her pick out a few that would be acceptable; a Motörhead t-shirt, a Captain America t-shirt, and one from the women's section that Akko just thought looked spunky. Diana herself also picked out some ragged jeans, having understood what Akko was getting at when she said she wanted clothes that wouldn't matter if they got dirty.
Finally it came time to try some of the clothes on. Diana nervously walked into the dressing room and took her clothes before trying on combinations of clothes. She first decided to try on the women's top with jeans and the denim vest. Akko and the rest of the band members approved even more of this combination. But it was the last combination of the Motorhead t-shirt with ragged jeans and the Gorilla Biscuits hoodie that got the most approval.
"Oh shit!" Amanda exclaimed with wide eyes. "Look at you, Princess! You look like you just crawled out of CBGBs in the 1980s!"
"That actually looks really cool," Lotte said with a smile. "You'll look great up on stage in that outfit, Diana."
"You think so?" she said as she spun around to show her outfit from the back side.
"You definitely look like a punk rocker," Sucy stated with an approving nod of her head. "That outfit belongs on stage."
Akko was practically beaming at the sight of Diana in the outfit. "It's amazing," she cheered with glee. "It's absolutely amazing."
Amanda chuckled and put her hand on Akko's shoulder and smirked. "Hold up there," Amanda said. "While we all agree Princess looks pretty rad, we still gotta see how she puts those clothes to use on the stage. Am I right, Akko?"
Diana watched Akko shake herself and a serious look spread across her face. "You're right. There's still a lot of work to be done."
Diana sighed. It seemed like nothing she would do would completely impress Akko.
After their shopping excursion Sucy piloted "Old Unreliable" and the rest of SOS to Stafford Palace. The venue was an old movie theater that had since been converted into a concert hall, and was used by a wide variety of musicians ranging from small time country acts to rappers and of course many varieties of punk rock outfits. Tonight was another headlining gig for A Seed of Sorrow, the top band at a local punk and hardcore showcase that encompassed a variety of bands from the greater Connecticut and Massachusetts region. None of the bands they had played with last night were playing them tonight, but the gig promised to be another good one for the members of A Seed of Sorrow.
The gig went the same as the one the previous night as far as setup goes. Akko helped Diana set up the merchandise table and watched closely from the bar as Diana went about her business of handling cash and selling the band's merchandise. She paid close attention without trying to be too oblivious to her intentions. She stood closely next to Sucy at the far corner of the bar away from the merchandise table, where she carefully studied all of Diana's interactions with those who came up to the merchandise table while the other bands went about playing their short sets.
"I don't understand what you're looking for, Akko," Sucy remarked as she held onto her bottle of beer. "Are we supposed to be studying her like she was a new graduate from an etiquette school or something?"
"I just want to see what she's all about, Sucy," Akko retorted as she studied Diana closely.
"What does that even mean, Akko?" Sucy balked with a roll of her eyes. "Or are you just trying to justify putting Diana through the ringer like this?"
"I'm not justifying anything," Akko shot back sharply and with an almost lethal stare. "I'm just trying to see what she's all about."
She watched as the blonde gave a CD to one fan while briefly conversing with the fan about something else. Like every interaction Diana made with a fan Akko catalogued it in her memory closely. Everything was carefully noted.
Finally after a brief setup and a soundcheck it was time for A Seed of Sorrow to take the stage. They again did their routine "kickass on three" bout of encouragement, which Diana even took part in ablite rather stiffly, which made Akko gloom slightly. Diana went up onto the stage and introduced the band with the same introduction as the night before, which Akko actually found mildly amusing, and then they went into their first song.
Amanda and Akko both started the song with some heavy palm muted chords and bouts of tremolo picking on their guitars while Lotte followed up with a rapid syncopated series of rolls from her snare drum. This repeated for two bars before a small run of notes on the upper frets of their guitars before going into a gently picked, nuanced section that Diana began her entry into the song into.
No matter where we run, it's only a car-length away.
No matter where we run, it's only a car-length away.
With a pick crape across a string from Amanda's guitar the song exploded again, going into a furious melodic section that held up the chorus of the track. Akko paid careful attention to Diana, who stood at the center of the stage in her black leather jacket and new Motorhead t shirt with her hands held on the microphone, remaining absolutely still.
This is the time, if it were up to me now.
This is the time, we can rise from the ground.
This is the time, hold onto me now.
The song again slowed down and went into the gently picked section. Akko took her place up by the microphone, and watched as Diana stood up against hers with her two hands wrapped around it.
No matter where we run, we'll do this til our legs will break.
This is the time,if it were up to me now.
This is the time, we can rise from the ground.
This is the time, hold onto me now.
In a bed for liars, can we be true for once?
Am I the ruiner of you too much?
I am so fucking bored.
I am so fucking bored.
Akko paid careful note of the way Diana sang her lines. They were powerful for sure. And they were completely in time and in key, there was nothing wrong with that. But still she felt that something was off as she continued to sing, and Akko didn't like it.
And every second is an hour.
What's a minute when you weren't counting it?
Cause every new day's a struck match, a falling out.
Now it's doctor's scripts and 666.
It's a voodoo doll stabbing at the chest of the heartless.
Can't you refrain from all that shit for now?
Give me the warmth of an island,
give me the sense of a want to go home.
Give me a loss due to damage,
give me the strength or the balls to be hated.
I am so fucking bored.
I am so fucking bored.
I am so fucking bored.
I am so fucking bored.
Again, Akko watched as Diana stayed still against the microphone, not moving in the slightest and appearing almost frozen.
No matter where we run, it's only a car-length away.
This is the time, if it were up to me now.
This is the time, we can rise from the ground.
This is the time, will you look to me now?
This is the time, hold onto me now.
The song stopped and they quickly went into their next one after a brief pause. Akko continued to watch as Diana stayed still against the microphone. She shook her head through each song as she observed the blonde's actions on stage.
Diana stirred as she felt the sun get into her eyes. The light penetrating through her eyelids made her shake briefly from her position in the center seat of the van. She rose up and stretched her arms and yawned, looking briefly out the window as she saw a cityscape go by. She blinked as she watched the buildings of the city come into greater and greater view. Diana looked on at the scene closely.
"Morning, Princess," Amanda remarked coyly as she grabbed Diana by the shoulder. Diana ripped away but still invoked a snicker from the blonde. "Admiring The City of Brotherly Love I see?"
"The City of Brotherly Love?" Diana muttered with a raised eyebrow as she looked out the window.
"Yeah, it's what they call Philly," Amanda remarked as she leaned back in her seat. "Haven't you ever been here?"
"Can't say I have," Diana replied as she watched the buildings come closer and closer into view. "I haven't traveled all over the United States, just to select major cities for performances."
"Well I'm sure you'll love it here," Amanda snickered as she sat back in her seat. Diana rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat, watching the cityscape enveloped the van and they made their way into Philadelphia. Diana expected Sucy to take them right to the venue, but instead she watched as she pulled the van up to a large marble structure with massive columns and a staircase was made of equally bright marble. Diana looked at the building curiously, but then Lotte explained calmly that they were visiting the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which Akko had a unique affinity for. Diana nodded her head. That was a most interesting revelation about Akko.
"Lets race up the Rocky Steps," Amanda proposed eagerly. "Akko, I'll bet you a cheesesteak tonight at John's if you can beat me in a race up the steps."
Akko chuckled as the band disembarked the van and walked out into the streets. The spring air was a bit balmy and windy, almost like fall weather. Diana actually found herself going into the back of the van to get a hold of her Gorilla Biscuits hoodie, something she never thought she'd wear outside the confines of a venue, and slipped it on as they made their way toward the steps. It was on their way to the steps that Akko pulled Diana aside, letting the other women go by as she kept Diana at her side.
"Yes?" Diana began curiously.
Diana watched Akko breathe in deeply before she ultimately spoke up. "Diana," Akko began nervously. Diana raised her eyebrow at the tone of the Japanese girl's voice. "Diana, do you want to be here?"
Diana again raised her eyebrow, this time even further than she did before. "What do you mean 'do I want to be here'? Of course I want to be here, Akko. If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be sleeping out of the back of a van subsisting off of tasty cakes, pizza, and Red Bull. Of course I want to be here."
"Well your performances don't show it," Akko retorted gently. She began to walk toward the steps of the museum before Diana began to walk after her.
"What are you talking about, Akko?" Diana asked as she caught up to the brunette. "What is that even supposed to mean?"
"Diana you stand like a freaking statue against the microphone every night and you seem like you can't wait for each show to be over with," Akko said as she walked forward, not even bothering to turn back to look at Diana. "You just look like you don't want to be here."
"Look, Akko," Diana huffed as she tried to catch up to the brunette. "This is all very new to me and I'm not sure what is expected of my conduct but I assure you that…"
"Diana, nothing is expected of you!" Akko shot back sharply. The blonde froze in her tracks as Akko stood in front of her and stared her down. "I just want you to show some emotion on stage, that's all."
Diana raised her eyebrow again. "Show some emotion?"
"Yeah like you know," Akko began. "Jump around on stage, get excited, do a power lean or something, ya know?"
"A power lean?" Diana muttered curiously. She watched Akko facepalm herself and shake her head, like she wasn't getting through to Diana no matter what she tried.
"Diana, you're an opera singer by trade, right?" Akko asked exasperatedly. Diana nodded her head slowly. "Look, I'm not asking for a performance in front of Carnegie Hall here, but I know that what you opera singers do best is show emotion on stage. So you think you could show some with A Seed of Sorrow instead of standing like a rock in front of the microphone every night?"
Diana stood absolutely still as the wind blew between her and Akko. Show some emotion on stage? Standing like a statue in front of the microphone? Who was Akko to tell her all this? She was doing everything that she was asked to do, and now Akko was demanding more out of her? This didn't seem fair, but as she thought about it more she began to piece together just what Akko was getting at. And the more she pieced it together the more she understood.
"Akko," Diana spoke up. The Japanese girl turned her head back toward Diana. "Can we change the setlist tonight? Just one song?"
Akko questioned why Diana would want to do this, but once Diana explained it to her the Japanese girl seemed to agree with the change and brought it up with the rest of the members of the band.
After a long day of chasing each other up the Rocky Steps, checking out the art museum, and slinking their way around Philadelphia for some sight seeing, the members of A Seed of Sorrow turned up at Milkboy's. Like the last show they let Diana handle all the merchandising and collecting the money, while they watched some of the local bands play live. Akko again kept note of all the reactions that Diana was getting from fans as she talked to them. She didn't know what to make of her exchange she had earlier with Diana, but at least she could catalogue her thoughts based off the way she interacted with fans.
Finally it came time for them to take the stage. Diana gave her brief introduction, before Akko stomped on her chorus pedal and went into a brief clean interlude section. She held onto the last note of the section briefly before shutting off her chorus pedal, making Lotte hit her snare drum a few times before her and Amanda went into a harmonized riff that repeated for several bars before they went into verses. And Akko watched before they went into the verses as Diana did something very interesting. She unscrewed the microphone from its stand and held it in her hands before nodding her head lightly, hardly enough to be considered a headbang but more than she had showed at previous shows. And then she did something Akko never expected.
Take the honest side.
A gentleman would call it slanderous.
It takes a man to cry, but I just put a brick through every bird's nest.
Akko watched as Diana not only leaned in toward the crowd from the stage, but actually held her hand in front her heart like she was full of anguish. And the way she had sang the last line of the verse seemed to seethe with a hateful anger that Akko never thought she would hear from Diana. Akko raised her eyebrows at the sight and felt her jaw drop. This was not what she had seen Diana do in any of the previous shows, and it made her take her place at her microphone with equal fury.
Take me out to the parking lot.
I'm fine.
Flattery is dead, romance is next.
You never wanted to touch me when I was worthless.
Get it while I'm sick with this.
White knuckle grip on the world?
I'm losing it.
I'm losing it.
I tried to love you but I hate you all.
I'm losing it all.
Dreams are born to die.
Squeaky wheels are supposed to rust.
Hate and joy will vaporize.
The numbers have been crunched.
Yes, we're all fucked.
Once again Diana seethed with anger and hurt from her voice that Akko never saw her display, not even when they first sang together in rehearsal. And again it made her want to put her all into her parts as she took her place up against the microphone.
Take me out to the parking lot.
I'm fine.
Flattery is dead, romance is next.
You never wanted to touch me when I was worthless.
Get it while I'm sick with this.
White knuckle grip on the world?
I'm losing it.
I'm losing it.
I tried to love you but I hate you all.
I'm losing it all.
The song briefly went into a quick breakdown, and Akko looked over at Diana, who again was staring into the audience. But unlike the last few performances, where Diana seemed like she was trying to stare through the audience, Diana met them at eye level from a crouched position, like she was a fighter trying to take the audience on. It was almost intimidating to Akko, and she never expected to see it out of the blonde.
When half of this is real, I'll take lies.
My fault, you couldn't let me out on my own.
WHITE KNUCKLE GRIP ON THE WORLD?
Well I'm losing it.
I'm losing it.
I tried to love you but I hate you all.
With that the song ended, Akko again holding out the last note on her guitar before they again went into the next song, and Diana repeated just what she had done before.
John's Roast Pork was a small restaurant open twenty four hours a day on the outskirts of Philadelphia. It was a renowned and famous outlet for sandwiches, cola, and fries that seemed to speak right to the heart of the American palette. And it was here that the members of A Seed of Sorrow debarked from "Old Unreliable" to get a late night meal after their exhausting performance at Milkboy's. Each of the young women took delight in ordering a sandwich, though Diana herself had to be goaded by Akko and Amanda into ordering a cheesesteak, which she really didn't want to do but did because her bandmates were asking her to do so.
Once they had their sandwiches, fries, and cola all arranged the girls took their place at a counter top near the outside of the restaurant and sat down. Before they went to eat, Sucy raised a question that Diana did not initially expect but was rather eager to hear. "So, Akko," Sucy began as she took a bite of a french fry. "What did you think?'
"Think of what?" Akko said with her mouth full of cheese steak. Diana winced at the Japanese girl's rudeness, and winced again after Akko let out a burp after washing the cheesesteak with some cola.
"The tour, you idiot," Sucy remarked with a roll of her eyes. "What did you think of going out on tour with Diana?"
At that moment all the members of A Seed of Sorrow converged their eyes on both Akko and Diana, unsure of what was going to be said. They all watched as Akko set down her sandwich and let out a sigh, certain of what was going to come next. Diana felt her heart sink in her chest. She couldn't believe this was happening to her after all she had gone through with them over the past three days. She couldn't believe her tenure in the band was going to end like this.
"Diana," Akko said slowly. "This has been a lot of fun. And I want to ask to you one thing before we head out tonight." Diana raised her eyebrow and looked curiously at Akko. "Do you still want to be a member of A Seed of Sorrow?"
"Of course I do," Diana answered assuredly. "I absolutely want to be."
Akko nodded her head up and down as the members of her band looked her down, including Diana. She desperately wanted an answer, and she got it in the form of a smile that made her jaw drop.
"Welcome to the band then," Akko declared lightly with a gentle tap on the shoulder. Immediately Diana felt her heart race and a smile come across her face. She couldn't believe just what she was hearing. After all the times sleeping in the van, after Akko confronting her on the boring nature of her performances, she now was a member of the band? Diana did her best to remain composed, but couldn't help but chuckle a little bit and make Akko raise her eyebrow.
"I'm glad to be here," Diana said happily. The rest of the members took their turns to laugh before Akko reached over to pat Diana on the shoulder.
"We're glad to have you here. Now eat that damn cheesesteak before it goes cold," Akko ordered. Diana rolled her eyes and brought the greasy sandwich to her mouth, taking a bite of it and chewing before swallowing it down her throat.
It tasted far better than she ever imagined it could be.