CHAPTER 6- Finding Home.

AN: Still with me? Wow. I'm impressed.

And I thought I explained before that these are naturally progressing characters? Of course they're going to be different from when all this started. Remember that little speech at the beginning about experiences maturing? Maintain the reality of the characters by allowing them to evolve?

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Alex opened his eyes slowly. They felt heavy, sluggish, like he'd been drugged. It took a moment for him to realize he was in his own bedroom. He lifted his arm, and was surprised to see an IV in it. What was going on? He felt like he was half in the hospital, half out. There were no monitors, no sterile walls, but there were posts with bags running IV lines to his arm.

Then he looked over to his desk, and somehow wasn't surprised to see Wolf sitting there, looking deep in thought, but obviously aware Alex was awake.

"How long?" Alex croaked. His voice was hoarse from lack of water and use.

Wolf poured a glass of water from a pitcher that had been sitting on the desk as though waiting for him to wake up. Alex realized that was probably exactly why it was there.

"Can you sit up?"

Alex tried, but winced and shook his head. Now that his brain was working, he discovered how sore and stiff his body was. There was a tight bandage wrapped around his ribs and a cold pack on his dislocated shoulder. Lifting his hand, he realized there was also a bandage around his head. He felt uncomfortable, but judged he was probably on enough drugs to keep the major pain away unless he tried something stupid. Like sitting up.

Wolf patiently helped him take a couple of sips, pressing for one more after Alex tried to push it away after only two, and then set the glass down. "You've been out for about a week, but a lot of that was sedatives."

"Why here?"

"You were having some pretty wicked nightmares. You terrified just about every nurse and patient on the floor of the hospital, so MI6 set you up here. Quinn knows enough to monitor your IV lines, and there's a Doc that comes by every morning and night to check on you," Wolf explained.

Alex smirked. "In other words I was screaming out company secrets."

Wolf chuckled lightly. "Yeah, basically."

"The others?" Alex asked, concerned.

"Everyone is being cared for. Most chose to stay in Guyana. Bryan Thompkins is back with his father and receiving therapy. His father sent you a very pretty cheque, by the way. Along with a new car. You rescued three hundred and twenty people. Only fifteen have died since then. They were beyond help, unfortunately."

Alex nodded and relaxed, closing his eyes. "How long until MI6 get here to debrief me?"

Wolf shifted uncomfortably. "They aren't coming. Bryan filled them in on whatever he could. He handled himself fairly well, actually. I'm impressed."

"But they don't know what happened before I got to Mahdia. They'll want to know," Alex pointed out.

Wolf shook his head. "Alex, there's something you need to know about MI6, and you're not going to be happy with it."

Alex sighed. "I know. Mr. Blunt was the one who leaked my information to Sato." He opened his eyes to find Wolf staring at him in surprise. He couldn't help it, and smirked.

"What? It's not like it was hard to figure out. I am a spy, you know. Finding out that sort of thing is what I do."

Wolf nodded sadly. "Well, your Doctor has put his foot down as well. MI6 isn't to attempt to even see you without a therapist present. He's afraid having to relive the events could send you into shock again."

Alex snorted. "I'm fine. I'd really rather just get it over and done with."

Wolf growled. "You are not fine, and don't even try to tell me you are. Your nightmares painted a pretty clear picture of what happened, Alex. You broke a Doctor's nose when he tried to touch you. That's why you were sedated."

Alex remained silent. He had no snappy come back to give. He could feel the events of the past weeks sitting quietly in his mind, waiting to have their chance of freedom again.

Wolf continued. "And to be honest, what worries me more is what you're not expressing. Fox isn't stupid, Alex. He knows what kind of reaction he walked in on, and he knows what probably caused it. I know you. You can't deal with it, so you've locked it away so tightly no one will ever find it. But what you're going to find is that someday it's going to hijack you in the wrong place, at the wrong time. You're not a child anymore. You've been trained as a weapon and that's what you've become. You could kill someone."

Alex snarled, automatically protecting what he knew was a delicate psyche. Wolf was hitting way too close to home. "You're not going parental on me, are you? Careful, you might start to sound like you care." The words had been thrown and marked to hurt. K Unit had done a lot for him, but he couldn't afford to have them close to him. And Alex knew he was an excellent marksman.

Wolf sighed and stood. "Like I said, Alex. A weapon."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Quinn looked up as Wolf came down the stairs. "How is he?"

"He's awake."

K Unit took in the expression on their leader's face and frowned. "What happened?" Eagle asked.

"Alex is protecting himself, and using everything in his rather extensive arsenal to do it," Wolf answered. "He's damaged, but doesn't believe he's worth fixing."

Quinn nodded. "Actually, I'm pretty sure he thinks he's protecting us."

"That's the second time you've said that, and I'll repeat my answer. We don't bloody need him to protect us!" Wolf snarled in frustration.

"Think about it this way. You've lost everything, and everyone, you ever cared about. You've been forced into a life you never wanted. Every adult you've known has used, abused, manipulated and threatened you. The one person you thought you could count on through anything suddenly abandons you. Next thing you know, you've got four men who don't have a clue what to do with you. They can't be parental because you won't let them. They can't be team mates because despite appearances, you are still a child. Sure, they respect you for what you've done, for what you're capable of, but none of them ever would have set foot in your life without your job forcing you together. You're afraid to let them have any real relationship with you because you're deeply afraid that they'll leave you too when they find out how dangerous you are to be around. It doesn't matter that they think they can protect themselves. They don't understand how dangerous your line of work is. They aren't invincible and can't protect themselves from a bullet through the glass, or in the back. Now that's just your life. On top of all that, you also have to deal with all the shit that happens to you while you're working. And you have to do it alone, because you can't trust yourself to still protect them from your big bad world if you give in for even a moment to the reassurance you so desperately crave. And through it all, you go to bed every night wishing that the monsters under your bed weren't actually real." Snake slammed down his glass as he finished.

"Quinn-"

"No! I've had it! We took in this boy. It was our choice, no one forced us to do it. We took in a fifteen year old boy who knows more than he should about the big bad world out there. My point, he is still a child! No matter how impressive, brave or stubborn he might be, that is the underlining fact here. I know what it's like to grow up with those fears, with that desperate craving to be loved, by anyone, and yet so very afraid of it at the same time. We've been pussy footing around, half treating him like a child, half treating him like a member of the team. He's both, and it's a fact that all of you had better reconcile. Either we're going to do this right and provide him with a family, no matter how challenging that will be, or we might as well ship him off to MI6 and let them adopt him. I won't do this half assed! To hell with all your macho imagery, and I'll tell him the same thing! No matter how you view him, he's still a human being with basic human needs. Touch, security, food and shelter. If we can't provide him with those, then he's better off somewhere where at least he knows he's being used!"

Snake stalked up the stairs to Alex's room, leaving the three men stunned.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Snake took a deep breath before entering the room. He hadn't meant to blow up at his friends, but there had been some facts that needed to be laid out.

He slipped in, and noticed Alex was sitting up, his knees held tightly to his chest, his forehead touching the top of his knees. Snake guessed from the quaking shoulders that Alex was either crying, or in a lot pain. Sadly, he suspected it was a great deal of both.

He sat on the bed gently. "You heard, huh?"

Alex sniffled, lifted his head, and viciously wiped away his tears. "It's funny how you managed to sum up my entire life in one long winded speech."

Snake sighed. "I didn't mean to be yelling, Alex, I'm sorry."

Alex shrugged, pulling up every ounce of attitude he could. Unfortunately, it was rather ruined by the sniffle that followed. "Are you-" his voice cracked dangerously. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Are you really going to send me back to MI6?"

"No, Alex, we're not. It's just time that we all face a few facts. You might be the nations top secret weapon, but you're still young, still need to be cared for. You need to learn to trust us, but first you have to be able to define our presence in your life."

Alex nodded, and ducked his head, sniffling again. "I can't." His voice broke into a sob as his tears started again. "I can't do this anymore."

Without hesitating Quinn pulled the boy into a hug, heedless of the pain he was probably causing. He was a little surprised when the boy clung to him tightly, but didn't let go. Alex needed this. After all he had suffered through, a simple hug didn't seem like such a hard thing to give. Alex sobbed out the terror that last year of his life had been, sobbed out the uncertainty of his place, his lack of control over even the smallest aspect of his life.

Quinn closed his eyes. The boy's wordless outpouring had been a long time coming, he knew. And there would be more. No one went through hell and came out whole. It just wasn't possible.

But this was a very important first step. Alex had let down his guard, even just for a moment, and allowed a little healing to take place. The foundations of a bridge that they could build on were being formed.

"You don't have to hold on so tightly, Alex," Quinn whispered gently. "I know what you've been taught, but there's no shame in tears. No shame in asking for help. Every once in a while, it's okay to share the burden."

He felt Alex shake his head against his shoulder, and smiled. "We know it's going to take time. Nothing happens over night. It's not going to be easy, either. One day at a time, okay?"

He held the boy until his sobs had been reduced to hiccups. He wasn't surprised when Alex's tear soaked face flushed red as he pulled back.

"I'm sorry," Alex started, but Quinn shook his head.

"Don't apologize. You'll undo all that work we've just done. Look, Alex, I was serious about what I said. Either we're going to do this right and be a family, or you're better off somewhere else. But that means you have to try, too. You have to make that choice."

"I want to try. I just don't know if I can." Alex explained.

"Well, that's a start, anyway. Like I said, one day at a time. In the meantime, how're you feeling?"

Alex sighed. "Tired." An understatement. He felt completely and utterly drained, but it had been cathartic, though definitely embarrassing. For both of them, he was sure.

Quinn check the IV lines and the bandages, and then help Alex lie down again. "Dr. Fitz will be here in a few hours. Get some sleep."

Alex closed his eyes, and was almost immediately asleep. Quinn left the room and found Wolf sitting against the wall in the hallway.

"How come you're so good at this?" Wolf asked.

Quinn smiled. "It's easy, actually. I just remember everything I grew up without, and multiply it tenfold. Come on, Daniel, get up off the floor."

Wolf took the extended hand and pulled himself up. They walked quietly downstairs to find Fox and Eagle looking very sheepishly at each other.

"Did you tuck him in alright?" Eagle asked, grinning.

Wolf glared at him. "Aren't you due back on duty soon?"

Fox snickered. "Nope. We officially have babysitting duty for a few weeks, just until MI6 is convinced the Yakuza aren't going to make any retaliation."

"I don't think Cub needs four babysitters," Snake pointed out.

"Actually, we're babysitting Wolf-man here. MI6 is concerned he might do something 'overly paternal'," Fox replied. "Like say, oh I don't know, put a bullet square between a certain someone's eyes."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't," Wolf growled dangerously.

Fox shrugged. "Sorry, can't. Not part of my job. We're just supposed to make sure you don't actually do it."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII