A/N: Yaya! New chapter! This one is dedicated to my very best friend on fanfiction! Jazzyroxx97, I hope we can talk again soon! You're an awesome bud! Thanks as well to everyone who gave me ideas for this chapter, too many to mention. Oh, and thanks very much to my awesome reviewers! You know who you are! Smiley face for you! ツ
Disclaimer: I own the Pee Pee Wee Gun! Yeah, that right! You heard me! I DO!
Just another Sunny Day...
It was another sunny day, a light breeze was blowing, it was perfect for a stroll, and that is what three defective detectives where doing at just this moment.
"Hey Vector, Vector, Vector, Vector"
"WHAT?"
"Where are we going?" The young bee asked
"I told you we're going for a stroll!"
"Ok then...why?"
"CAUSE IT'S A NICE DAY TO GO STROLLING!"
"Ok...but what's the point?"
"THE POINT IS TO STROLL NOW STROLL!"
"Ok" Charmy started swinging his arms back and forth and taking large strides in an over-exaggerated way to stroll. Vector sighed, it was annoying but at least he wasn't talking anymore, Espio seemed to be sharing his thoughts as he closed his eyes in frustration. The silence lasted about five seconds.
"Hey Vector"
"What?"
"Can we go to a party?"
Vector and Espio turned to him with very fierce looks as if they were about to strangle him. "If you...say one more word, ONE WORD!" Vector said pointing a finger at him in a threatening manner. Charmy got the hint and decided to zip it...for about five more seconds.
"uhh, Vector.."
"THAT'S IT!"
"No but-"
"I WARNED YOU!"
"But you should know that-"
"ZIP IT!"
"SHADOW'S OVER THERE AND HE LOOKS REALLY MAD!" Charmy screamed and pointed behind him...where Shadow was standing a few metres away. Vector and Espio froze as Shadow grinded his teeth and narrowed his eyes.
"That's...interesting...AHHH! SHADOW PLEASE DON'T HURT US! IT'S SONIC YOU WANT! HE HAS THE CHAOS EMERALDS! SPARE US WE DON'T DESERVE TO DIE!" Vector said getting on his hands and knees. Espio sighed and rolled his eyes. Shadow started fuming.
"Vector..." Charmy whispered in a scared tone, "I think he's really angry..."
"Oh really? Whatever gave you that idea?" Vector said in a sarcastic tone before resuming his scared pose.
Shadow opened his mouth a fraction and said in an extremely threatening voice, "Brock"
"...err...didn't quite catch that..." Charmy said while Vector gave him a 'don't say a word' look.
"Brock...BROCK!"
"er...who's there?" Charmy said sheepishly. Vector and Espio opened their eyes wide in terror, Shadow stared them down, Charmy was still waiting for him to tell the rest of the joke.
"...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WHY!" Shadow broke down on the ground and started bawling. The Chaotix team had no idea what so ever to think...no really, they didn't, so they just stood there looking at him.
It was the same sunny day back at the Thorndyke residence, except nobody was strolling, they where all inside the mansion. Grandpa Chuck had just arrived home, and after getting over the initial welcome of Cream pegging Knuckles at him, Rouge then tackling Knuckles, and Amy telling him to 'make love not war', he was all ready to work on finding a cure for this strange, 'Pee Pee Wee Gun'.
"So do you have any idea how this happened? Like, have any ideas what chemicals where used or did you keep a sample?" Chuck asked.
"Who do you think we are? Tails?" Knuckles asked, of course he was referring to Tails in his smart form, but in his current state, Chuck probably thought they did resemble Tails.
"Brrrrmmmm-brrrrmmmm-brmmmmm" Tails said as he 'drove' his pineapple over Chris' head. Chris ignored this for a while till Tails started rolling the prickly fruit down his face, "oh no we're gonna die! Brmm-brm-brm-brm-brm!"
"Ow! Tails quit it!" He said as he pulled a pineapple spine out of his cheek. Tails didn't listen and starting trying to shove the pineapple up Chris' nose, "AGHHHH!" Chris grabbed it and threw it...unfortunately at Sonic. Sonic again went crashing into the wall at high speed.
"Ow! Will you guys quit doing that? It's really painful!"
"SONIC!" Chris said in surprise.
"What?"
"You-you're normal!"
"Is that inferring that I was abnormal previous?" He said with one eyebrow raised, "What is with this pineapple anyway?" Sonic said as he threw it off his lap, "Itttttttt'ssssss reeeeaaaaallyyyy annnnnooooyyyyiiinnngggggg"
"What just happened to you? You where normal before!" Chris said as his pea brain couldn't figure it out. Everyone stood there for half an hour scratching their chins.
"Hey! I got it!" Chuck finally said and picked up the pineapple.
Sonic saw him coming towards him, then Chuck started touching him with the pineapple and taking it away again repeatedly.
"What arrrrrrrre you doooooing?" Sonic said as he kept jumping from slow to fast.
"Incredible! This pineapple seems to reverse the effects of the gun!" Chuck exclaimed.
"Well, it also touched Cream, Tails and Rouge...nothing happened to them" Chris added. Everyone paused for another half hour to scratch their chins again.
Back to the sunny stroll...
"CHAOS SPEAR! CHAOS BLAST! CHAOS RIFT!"
"AHHHHHH! WHY IS HE SO ANGRY!" Charmy screamed as they dove behind a tree.
"I DUNNO BUT I REALLY HOPE HE STOPS CHUCKING THOSE THINGS! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TREES!"
All of a sudden Shadow ripped the tree they were hiding behind and chucked it away in anger.
"Err...hi?" Vector said sheepishly.
"Whaaaa-haaaa!" Shadow started crying again. "Me-me, mermumoomawhaa!" He blubbered.
"Err...what's he doing?"
"Oh no! It's some ancient curse! He's going to destroy us!" Charmy squeaked
"No wait! He seems to be...speaking words of some kind!" Vector declared, "Espio! We need your decoding abilities here!"
"Sigh, fine...mm-hmmm...yu-huh...really?...hmmmm..."
"So what's he saying?"
"He said that some Brock guy stole his girlfriend"
"He has a girlfriend?"
"NOT ANY MORE!" Shadow screamed.
"I mean, I just couldn't imagine you with a girlf-" Espio quickly covered Charmy's mouth.
"Charmy, let's not antagonize the angry, very powerful arch enemy" Espio said through gritted teeth.
"ARGGGHHHHHH-AAAAAAAAA!" Shadow started growling and crying at the same time.
"Wow...I never thought I'd see Shadow like this...love certainly does strange things..." Charmy said
"Well now, Shadow ol' buddy, ol' pal" Vector started.
"Sniff, I don't even know you!"
"Yeah, well we better make a good first impression then! We here, are the greatest detective agency the world has ever known, and we are going to help you with your little problem"
"You are?"
"Ya-huh, we have experience in this sought of thing," Vector said in a businesslike manner, "We gots both the smarts and the muscle to teach this little heartbreaker a thing or two!"
"You do?"
"Oh boy" Espio said and rolled his eyes.
"You bet! And all we ask in return is a little..." Vector held out his hand signalling for money, Shadow looked at it and pulled out a chaos spear.
"Err, well we could also use a body guard!"
Shadow continued to stare at him then put the chaos spear away.
"So do we have a deal?"
Shadow looked at his still out stretched hand and shook it.
"Hey! I got it!" Chuck again exclaimed.
"I'm feeling déjà vu" Knuckles said.
"Knuckles catch!" Chuck said as he chucked a table at him.
"AHHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING-OMPH!" Knuckles yelled as he got squished on the ground.
"Now try and lift up the table"
"DON'T YOU THINK IF I COULD I WOULD?" Knuckles said rather annoyed.
"Now hold this" Chuck said as he gave him the pineapple, "Now lift it"
Knuckles lifted it effortlessly, "Hey! I got my strength back!"
"Ok that'll do" Chuck said and grabbed the pineapple off him, consequently leaving Knuckles to be squashed under the table again. "It seems it only reverses physical abilities, now I must do a full analysis of this" He then put it in a machine which scanned it then he gave it back to an eager Tails, "Ok, the results should come up on my wrist watch in a few minutes"
Just then everyone heard a crash from outside as if a garden statue had been knocked over, along with a lot of yelling, "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE HEART BREAKER!"
"Err..." Was the natural response from everyone and then they quickly ran outside to find the most absurd scene. Well for a start, the garden was half destroyed, and Team Chaotix (surprise, surprise) seemed to be the cause of all the commotion. Espio seemed to be just waking up after being knocked unconscious, Charmy was egging Vector on, who seemed to be yelling at and strangling some poor, prickly rat thing. Shadow was also there, he was standing in the corner whimpering.
"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON OUT HERE?" Grandpa Chuck yelled as he looked at what was left of his front yard.
The Chaotix team froze in their current positions and stared at everyone staring at them.
"Vector! What on Earth are you doing to that poor innocent creature!" Rouge gasped.
"Err...well I can assure you Miss, that this creature is anything but innocent" Vector explained.
"What...did you DO to the lawn?" Chuck exclaimed, not being able to keep it in any longer.
"Err..." Vector looked at his team mates for back-up, but they simply shrugged indicating that he was on his own, "...well...ya see...it's kinda a long story..."
"We've got time to listen" Chuck said with his arms folded and tapping his foot impatiently.
"Ok then...well ya see it started off as just another sunny day..."
Vector's story
"Vector! You're the greatest, most awesome boss ever! You're so much smarter and braver than me! I wish I was as cool as you!" A goofy looking Charmy with buck teeth said to a really muscular Vector.
"Hey! I don't look like that!" Charmy all of a sudden said, "And since when where you that buff?"
"Since I'M telling the story! Now zip it!"
"Ha ha ha," Vector said in a corny, tough laugh while ruffling Charmy's...er...helmet, "Doesn't everyone? Now fetch me a sandwich! I need to satisfy my hunger before undertaking this super cool mission which we are about to undertake"
"Oh boy! Right away Sir! It'd be an honour to serve your sandwich! May I kiss your feet on the way out?"
"Oh all right, just as a treat"
"Oh boy!"
"WAIT! Wait, wait! I don't remember kissing anyone's feet!" Charmy butted in again.
"Well you mustn't remember right! Now zip it! You can speak later! Now where were we? Ah yes, ahem..."
"Gasp! I see ahead our arch-foe!" Vector exclaimed heroically, "Chameleon boy! Launch attack!"
A scrawny Espio wearing a corny mask and cape swung into action, "On it boss! Time to give this guy a taste of my lizard tail!" He said as he curled and uncurled his tail while the camera quickly zoomed in and out on it multiple times and cool light and sound effects played.
"I...DID NOT DO THAT!" Espio butted in.
"Sure ya did Espio!"
"Since WHEN have you seen me wag my tail around to the batman theme song?"
"Ya know, all the time!"
"WHAT!"
"Can we please get on with the story?" Chris said impatiently.
"Exactly what I was about to say!" Vector replied.
The batman music resumed playing, "Time for my famous, 'Boingo poingo' attack!" 'Espio' said. He curled his tail up like a spring and bounced on his bum towards Shadow. "Boing! Boing!" He boinged extra high so his butt was at Shadow's eye level, "POING!" He uncurled his tail and it 'poinged' Shadow on the nose.
"THAT'S IT! I DO NOT 'poing' people on the nose!"
"I'M telling the story!"
"Argghhh!" Shadow mindlessly waved his arms around in a pathetic attempt to counter Espio's pathetic attack.
"Good job Chameleon boy! You have distracted him! Now I will go in to defeat him and claim my well deserved glory!"
"You will never defeat me oh great Vector who's the most awesome detective ever! You will die as soon as I have dealt with your pathetic following!"
"You best be not talking about Sonic! Yes, I know it is true that he is not nearly as awesome or good looking as me, but I will not let you kill off the weak and ugly, just because they are less awesome than me! If you where a real villain you would face the mighty Vector! I will die to save my friends!" The buff Vector said then he and Shadow got into an epic kung-fu fight.
"And so I defeated Shadow and the world was left in eternal gratitude till the very end of time!" Vector finished in a heroic pose with the sun shining behind him.
Everyone just stared at him with their eyebrows raised, "That still doesn't explain what you were doing strangling a hedgehog in my garden!" Grandpa Chuck broke the silence.
"Oh yeah, the mutant beast wrecked havoc through the town and I saved the day again"
"Can I tell MY story now?" Charmy asked.
"YES!" Everyone said together as they still had no idea what Vector had been talking about for the past ten minutes.
"Ok! Well, this is what really happened! It started off as just another sunny day..."
"Hey Vector, Vector, Vector, Vector" a normal Charmy said to Vector.
"Oh, God Charmy! Quit frazzlin' ma shilazzlin!"
"HEY! Since when did I speak like that?" Vector nosed his way into the story, "What the heck is a shilazzlin anyway?"
"I dunno Vector YOU said it!" Charmy replied with his nose upturned, "Anyway, you had your go! Now I'M telling the story!"
"But Vector, where are we mindlessly wandering to?"
"We're taking a stroll, ya know, like down memory lane except with some more boppin and droppin and a bit more shizazz!"
"But Vector, what does that mean?"
"I dunno bro, but you're really getting up under ma grill, so just patoodle your kanoodle and get out of ma shanoodle!"
"Hey look! Shadow's over there and he looks kinda mad..."
"Oh hell no! That guy takes the sausage out of ma sizzle, the shiz out of my bizzal, and the fizz out of ma twizzle!"
"This looks like a job for...Chameleon boy!" Vector and Charmy finished the last part together.
A scrawny looking Espio appeared in a cape and cardboard mask, "haha snort, Time for my famous, Boingo Poingo attack!"
"HOLD IT! Why in both your stories do I BOINGO POINGO EVERYONE?" Espio said angrily.
"Um, I dunno, maybe cause that's what you did" Charmy said in a dumb voice for Espio then Vector and him started sniggering.
"I DON'T fight with my butt! I turn invisible and-"
"Yeah, yeah Espio, now let them finish" Knuckles said waving Charmy to continue.
"But, but-"
"There's enough butts in the story without your input now continue"
"Boing, Boing...POING!" Espio yet again said and 'boing, boing, poinged' Shadow on the nose.
"Ugh! The smell! Eyes...burning...nostrils...dying...Chameleon farts...too bad!" Shadow said waving his arms around his face.
"THAT'S IT!" Espio popped Charmy's story bubble, "That's not what happened!"
"Oh contraire, I'd have you find it most truly well did! Then I found all seven chaos emeralds, turned into super Charmy, kicked Shadow's butt, then scattered the emeralds across the world. Of course not before I saved a few innocent children from a burning building, found good homes for all the adorable puppies in the pound, signed a few autographs, and got Vector to make me a sandwich"
"Hey! I didn't make no sandwich!"
Everyone again stared at the three detectives who where now bickering amongst themselves.
"Not to interrupt, but that STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY MY LAWN IN HALF DESTROYED!" Grandpa Chuck said again.
"I might have exploded it when I turned into super awesome Charmy"
"Don't you mean I destroyed it when I defeated Shadow?" Vector butted in.
"Oh just patoodle along to your kanoodle!"
"OK! I AM GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!" Espio yelled over the top of them, "It was another sunny day, Vector decided to go for a stroll, and then we ran into Shadow. We thought he was going to kill us except he instead went OOC and threw a tantrum on the ground complaining that some 'Brock guy' stole his girlfriend. So Vector saw this as a money making opportunity...or gaining a valuable ally...or maybe a chance to go to the mansion to see Van-"
"GET ON WITH IT ESPIO!"
"Yeah, so, we came here and found this spiky rat thing and we tried to catch it, except it was kind of hard, so I went invisible and..."
"Ooh! Let me tell this part!" Charmy butted in, "Espio tried to grab it but tripped and bounced on his bum, eventually landing on Brock!"
"Ahahahahaha! That was hilarious!" Vector joined in, "And he was all like, argghhhh! I got hedgehog spines in my butt! And me and Charmy tried to help ya see, but it was kinda hard when we were laughing. Then he turned invisible again and-"
"And all you could see where the spines in his butt running around!" Charmy butted in while Espio groaned in annoyance. Vector and Charmy started rolling around on the ground laughing, which explained all the ripped up turf.
"And-and then, ahahahaha, ahem, then we finally managed to help, so Vector grabbed the hedgie while I went over to Espio, but I couldn't really see him, so I swung a rake around so I could...ya know, find him...but then I accidently hit him and he smashed through the kitchen window, and then that big, scary, cooking lady, hit him out with a saucepan..and that's pretty much when you arrived" Charmy finished then started cracking up again.
"Um, why should we believe this story?"
"Because it explains why we're in your yard...and it's the truth! Tell em Shadow!"
Shadow simply stared at him for a while, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WHYYYYYYYY! Why...why...whaaaaa-yyyyyyyyy!...I HATE MY LIFE!" Shadow screamed in Charmy's face.
"Nice goin Charmy" Vector grumbled, "We just got him to calm down...er, don't worry Shadow, we caught that dirt bag Brock who's been hittin on your Misty so now we'll make him take his punishment!" Vector said then resumed strangling the hedgehog again.
Everyone continued to stare, completely confused as to who Vector was talking about or even why he was here in the first place. Then Chucks watch started to beep.
"Huh? What's that?" Rouge inquired.
"Ahh, the results from that pineapple are in...incredible!...Amazing!...How could this even happen?"
"HURRY UP AND SPIT IT OUT GRAMPS!" Cream yelled which caused Team Chaotix to stare at her.
"Err...is your mother aware you have anger issues?" Vector said
Cream stormed over and picked him up by the collar and shook him around, "You got something to say YOU BIG GREEN SLIME BALL!"
"Hey! I'd have you know that crocodiles are not slimey!...fluff butt!" Vector said annoyed as he was supposed to be the one issuing the threats around here.
"Oh, SO YOU THINK MY BUTT IS FLUFFY DO YA? WELL WHY DON'T I JUST TELL MY MUM THAT!"
"Ahh! No, no, no! That won't necessary! Cause, I mean, it was a compliment! Aha..yes! I love fluffy butts! Fluffy butts are cool! They're awesome! They're the new black!" Vector stuttered as Cream continued to narrow her eyes.
"HEY EVERYONE!" Rouge screamed out which caused them to look at her, "Knuckie has something to say"
"Knuckie?" Chaotix said in surprise.
"I don't have anything to say Rouge!" He whispered harshly to her.
"Yes you do! I can tell when my boyfriend has something to say!"
"BOYFRIEND?" Chaotix and Knuckles said in shock.
"Since when did this happen?" Charmy said
"Aww man! There goes our money making scheme, I'd already started planning 'Project Knouge' as well"
"PROJECT WHAT?" Knuckles practically screamed, "WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!"
"Sure we are Knuckie!"
"No we're NOT! And quit calling me that!"
"Ahhh! Soo, relationship troubles? I can work with that...for a price of course" Vector said smugly.
"Brother Shadow man, you need to lighten up and just listen to the sweet melody of the Earth. We are all one-" Amy started
"AHHHHHHHHHH! CHAOS-" He screamed at her.
"Eeeeek!" Everyone squealed and dove behind the hedge.
"Not the lawn!" Chuck yelled in vain, but Shadow just stopped and started crying again.
"WHY MISTY! WHY!"
"Err, Chuck, you mind me asking again about the watch?" Rouge decided to break the silence.
"Oh, er, yes! It seems this pineapple is actually a chaos emerald!"
"WHAT?"
"I don't know how it happened but it did!"
"Wait...I think I know..." Amy said.
FLASHBACK!
(Amy is in her normal state)
"Tails quit slobbering on that Chaos emerald!...It's really gross...and you're getting all pee wee dust on it!"
"Duuh-haaa! It's a pineapple!"
Amy face palmed herself.
END FLASHBACK!
"Well, that explains something...wait, where is the pineapple, I mean chaos emerald, I mean Chuck Norris, I mean-AUGH! WHERE IS IT?" Chuck yelled in frustration.
"Duuuuuh-haa! Chuck Norris went in the microwave!" Tails exclaimed and everyone opened their eyes wide in shock.
"Chuck...what happens when you put a chaos emerald in the microwave?" Rouge asked.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Everyone was covered in black soot from the massive explosion.
"AHHHHHH!" Chuck yelled and started tearing his hair out.
"TAILS WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HOUSE!" Chris screamed while everyone just stared at the burning rubble which was Chris's house, emphasis on the was, as the only thing left standing was the front door.
"House go bye-bye" Tails said simply.
"Err...should we still be here?" Charmy asked Vector.
"Why not? For once it wasn't us who blew something up" He replied.
Just then Bokkuun flew in with an exploding TV, "Dr. Eggman has a message for you!"
"OOH HO HO! I have found an antidote! Want it? Then come get it!"
"ARGHHHH!" Shadow screamed and exploded the TV himself with a chaos spear...along with the front door.
"Err...I'll be going now..." Bokkuun said then flew off as fast as he could go. Chris continued to stare at what was left of his house...which was nothing.
"Ok guys! Let's go get that antidote!" Rouge said then dragged Knuckles off with her. Soon after everyone followed...except Chris, who was still staring at...nothing.
Amy walked up and patted him on the back, "Don't worry, it'll grow back!" She said cheerfully and then skipped after everyone. Chris continued to stare at his house...which was nothing.
A/N: Yay! I somehow finished another chapter while I was completely snowed under with school work!...speaking of such, better get back to it...thanks for reading and please leave a review!
Review Questions
Does Eggman really have the antidote this time?
What more could Tails destroy?
Will Chris's house ever grow back?
All these questions may or may not be answered in the next totally random instalment of The Pee Pee Wee Gun!